Back To The Well…

So there’s going to be another Ocarina Of Time remake.

I say “another” remake because the game was already remade for the handheld 3DS years ago… but that could easily be seen a more of a substantial upgrade rather than a true remake of the N64 original.

But no, Switch 2 owners have a full-blown remake coming their way. Shut up and take my money? For some people… maybe. For others, though?

Have we really gotten to that point? The point where the biggest thing to look forward to on Nintendo’s newest platform is a remake of a game from thirty years ago. We already got one in the form of StarFox (itself a remake of StarFox 64, which, in turn, is a remake of the SNES original – try and not get my mind blown at that non-revelation) and now it looks like the first 3D Zelda is getting its own fancy remake. And that was the headline main event announcement of that early-June direct. No new experiences. No new games. Just reheated left overs covered up with some fresh white rice to hide all the creekiness.

Meanwhile, I’m still waiting for a proper Zelda 3 to come along. And no, A Link To The Past doesn’t count, despite claims to the contrary.

I hate to rail on Nintendo for this sort of deal and clearly, they’re not the only ones playing into nostalgia – Xbox is reheating their own classics for the next generation (or whatever generation they’re in – who even knows with them these days?) – but this shouldn’t be the thing you use to sell consoles. I can already play Ocarina of Time on my Switch via Nintendo Classics. Hell, I can play Ocarina Of Time on a variety of Nintendo platforms. Do we really need another one? Has that game ruined this series enough?

Oops… I said the quiet part loud, didn’t I?

Well… the dog did all the talking for me. You’ll have to wait a little while longer before I get around to rocking THAT particular boat.

Review #1337 – Sonic The Hedgehog 3 (Genesis)

Raise the flame shields, kids. We’re diving into the holy cash cow of 2D Sonic games… or was that Sonic CD? Who even knows anymore?

Before anyone asks, yes, there is a means of getting vintage Sonic & Knuckles Collection from 1997 running on modern Windows. There’s also a thing that creates your own save files so that you don’t have to. These are required tools that saved me a lot of anguish for what are essentially throwaway video fodder.

Perhaps some day [REDACTED] will get their time in the sun. For now… the Sonic 3 video review. Sonic & Knuckles video coming out tomorrow night… maybe earlier if you’re lucky.

Then I’m off.

Rewatch #1200 Before #1337 Hits

Yes, you’ve already seen this before. But let’s remind people that on this day last year, after over 500 reviews since we did the first game, we finally reviewed Sonic The Hedgehog 2 on Sega Genesis. Honestly, anything more at this point should have been scrubbed from memory, but now that I’ve played more than enough Sonic The Hedgehog to last a lifetime…

I’m giving things away, aren’t I?

Anyway, you can scroll down and watch the Sonic CD review if you want, but I might do a replay of that in a little bit. In the meantime, Sonic 3 should be up later tonight while Sonic & Knuckles is up tomorrow night. After that, no new video until next Sunday.

Something Different…

So reviews for Sonic 3 and Sonic & Knuckles (yes, TWO videos for TWO games, fuck you) will be up tomorrow and Sunday night respective, scheduled to post at 6 p.m. EST.

In the meantime, another video will be up shortly… that’s already been up, but will be up again shortly. Minor edit.

No videos afterwards until July 5th.

Many thanks for the warm messages.

Talk to you soon.

Later.

Speaking of R.I.P…

Now that we’re past the fun stuff, let’s talk about something actually is R.I.P. and nobody quite knows it yet.

The above image is a John Romita Jr. illustrated cover for the 1000th issue of The Amazing Spider-Man – a number they like to pull out of their ass after rebooting the series number half a dozen times – featuring someone in a Spider-Man costume (okay, let’s be fair here for once and assume it’s the real deal) doing his web-slinging thing… but apparently, according to some stupid people online, he might be shrugging. I think ol’ Web-Head is flexible enough that he can probably do both at the same time and make it look cool. (Apparently, this cover’s being replaced with some other cover that’s not quite as cool… or all that great, for that matter. Par for the course at the one-time Mighty Marvel.)

Honestly, I like this cover. Cool angle. People turning this into a meme are kinda stupid, but they kept this thing going for a long time and the stories have gone to complete and utter dogshit… so I guess it fits.

I suppose congratulations are in order for reaching this massive, massive milestone. Unfortunately, you kinda ruined it by promising that Peter Parker’s life would change forever… because you seem to do that on a regular basis and it often means going back to the same tired status quo that you like to go back to because you’re all a bunch of uncreative hacks.

I don’t know… maybe Marvel should shitcan the entire creative staff and let AI handle all the writing going forward. If anything, that would actually be an improvement over the hot garbage you’ve been putting out lately. Put these humans out of their misery, please!

Or… you know… write better stories. As much as it sucks to see anyone lose jobs, it’s hard to be sympathetic to people who are just bad at doing them.

Later.

Yip.

Hello.

I am required to inform viewers that yesterday’s video presentation was not endorsed, approved, authorized, or even potentially viewed by the people behind A1 Sauce.

Furthermore, I am required to inform viewers that no animals were harmed in the making of yesterday’s video nor were they fed any portions of A1 Sauce at any point in time. Animals were fed their own nutritional and performance-enhancing supplements and then slept for the rest of the day.

Finally, I am also required to inform viewers that a fly was swatted during last night’s premiere and died immediately upon impact. We considered a funeral arrangement, but after considering the amount of noise being made by said fly, it probably had it coming and promptly tossed its remains in the nearest garbage can.

Now that we’ve got that out of the way… moar Sonic stuff in the next couple days before we take a week off and resume “something” in July… by which I mean the usual nonsense that gets posted up here.

Thank you and enjoy your usual festivities.

*If, for whatever reason, you missed last night’s eventful video – actually, that’s a lie; you didn’t miss much of anything, but said video can be viewed here.