I Asked ChatGPT to Book Asuka’s Last Match… Against GUNTHER

WWE can have this one for free, by the way. It’s AI-generated, which they love – and it involves GUNTHER continuing his gimmick of having people’s last matches and then “retiring” them. And then if people shit on this thing, you can have McSon-In-Law tell them to fuck off and be fans… or have Nick Khan call them the vocal minority… or maybe drive up more subscriptions to hear Uncle Dave stammer about how this is the worst affront to a Japanese wrestler since Okada stubbed his toe or something.

I don’t know. I didn’t make this up – I just asked a question and some gimmick gave me an answer that thoroughly entertained me… which means the people who actually get PAID to throw this creative together are doing a worse off job than a common AI program that anyone can access. I’m not advocating for AI to completely book wrestling shows anytime soon, but at this point, it’s difficult to argue with results.

Anyway, I give you Asuka vs. GUNTHER in Asuka’s Last Match by ChatGPT. Enjoy and be afraid.

Continue reading “I Asked ChatGPT to Book Asuka’s Last Match… Against GUNTHER”

WWE 2K22 (PC) – Kofi and Creed vs. TKO Snake Merchants

Former WWE tag team KOFI and CREED fend off TKO Snake Oil Merchants in an Empty Arena match simulated in an old WWE 2K video game playing on antiquated hardware that isn’t a Nintendo system. Also, some idiot rambles on stuff because sure, why not?

See you boys in three months, by the way. Best wishes.

On the other hand, though, it did get me back into the Universe Mode, where Kevin Owens continues to dominate as undisputed champion of the whole goddamned universe while every Samoan not named Samoa Joe is on the longest losing streak of all time and got deported to WCW with the other old timers. This will probably last about two days before I get bored and move on to something, if I haven’t already by the time you’re reading this piece of business.

Not compelled to do more of these… but as a one-off, sure, why not?

You’re Jobbing Asuka To GUNTHER, Aren’t You?

I can see it now.

Goldberg Complains About “Some Japanese Girl” Getting Better Send Off Than He Did.

Also, that big announcement John Cena teased is for another competition that nobody is going to care, but are going to pretend they do because the algorithm requires engagement… and Dauhausen’s mystery partner turned out to be a Minihausen.

I thought I told you clowns not to do mystery gimmicks anymore. They’re always disappointing and you suck at them.

This is where I remind people that I don’t have a Netflix subscription and have no such inclination to get one any time soon.

But, hey, that Ronda/Gina thing is next week, isn’t it? Maybe that’ll be a big hit or something… right?

Moving right along…

But What About The Muppet?

(Update: Helps if you embed the correct video, dumbass.)

A little late to the party, but they released the trailer for the upcoming fourth and penultimate season of Strange New Worlds, which is due to begin July 28th. It has dinosaurs, it has spatial anomalies, it has Spirk, it has other stuff… less of a focus on the so-called “big swings” that the past couple seasons liked to toss around.

Strangely missing from the trailer is the muppet. I’d imagine most people were thrilled by that omission and expect the “dumbass Muppet episode” to never be a thing. Well, I’m here to tell you that not only is that Muppet episode a thing, it will be such a thing that it’ll go “double dumbass on you” all the way to the bank… or something.

Yeah, sure. It looks fine. Showing all the right things, it looks to be doing. Whether the season holds mustard is another story. I guess we’ll see come July.

Review #1315 – Text Wormhole (PC)

Have you ever bought one of those Humble Bundle deals where you have a bunch of games that they try to dangle in front of you if you were to go for the highest possible price point to get the whole bundle and along with the big draws, you have a bunch of random stuff that wouldn’t attract a fly towards it even if it tried its damndest?

Text Wormhole is one of those games. Either that, or it’s another I got on the cheap to spend the last of my Steam bucks. This review has been sitting on the backburner for a LONG time and is probably the oldest video of the bunch. So naturally, it fits the theme of PC afterthoughts.

I promise that next week’s review output will showcase more interesting titles… but not THAT much more.

AEW Dynamite (May 6th, 2026) – Class Act Followed By Chaos

Show opens with Tony Schiavone and Sting doing a classy tribute to the recently passed Ted Turner and highlighting his contributions to wrestling. We then move on to Jon Moxley beating Juice Robinson in a title eliminator match that prevents Juicy Juice from getting a crack at Mox’s title… dude, there’s like thirteen billion belts in AEW; that’s too many for my raddled brain to keep track of.

Speaking of rattled brains, Will Ospreay continues training with the Death people, who continually have him do exercises hurting his neck because that’s a thing we need in wrestling. And then Orange Cassidy beat one of the FTR guys to earn a future tag title match… presumably after Double Or Nothing, but who knows with this company? And while we’re on the subject of rattled brains, here comes JERICHO to declare that the time for talking is over and he invites Ricochet to talk some more… okay. Anyway, this exchange leads to a Stadium Stampede match being booked for DoN pitting Ricochet and his band of geeks (two big guys following Ricochet of all people deserve to be called geeks, not even sorry) against Jericho and the Syndicate Of Hurting People In Business (Shelton and Lashley)… I guess we need more names to fill the slots to make this a ten-man, but yeah, sure, Stadium Stampede is always fun for a lark. Hopefully Aubrey Edwards isn’t anywhere near that match for Jericho’s sake. She is, after all, a shitty referee.

Okada retains his belt over Bryan Keith and he also wants a shot at Darby… how long before Double Or Nothing hits because that’s going to be a fun one if it happens. Meanwhile, Shida-san and Kris Stat make short work of Harley Cameron and that Mina person… Shida-san being somewhat sneaky about some less than honorable deeds. Methinks she’s turning on Statlander soon and that’s probably a good thing. Hopefully, Statlander learns from Sting’s past mistakes on how NOT to be an idiot babyface and see the turn coming.

And in the main event, AEW World Champion Darby Allin retains his title over TNT Champion Kevin Knight in another stellar outing. Probably not as crazy as the last two main events, but still a fun, fast-paced match that showcase both guys’ talents immensely. At this point, the recording cuts off because Dynamite is technically over and the PVR didn’t record the Collision portion of the program, but what ended up happening afterwards is that Darby challenged MJF to put his hair on the line if he wants a rematch or else he can fuck off. MJF delivers his answer next week. Should be fun.

All in all, a fun show. Perhaps not quite as eventful as I was hoping it’d be… probably because they saved all the important bits for the Collision portion of the show, but I went away largely entertained. No complaints, really.

Ted Turner

Word broke recently that Robert Edward Turner III a.k.a. Ted Turner had passed away at the age of 87.

I don’t think any tribute paid to the man could properly do justice the enormous impact that he has had in the world. CNN, TBS Superstation, TNT, Cartoon Network, Goodwill Games, Captain Planet, Monday Night War… too many things to list on here. A man who had billions and did what he could to make the world a better place… whether he actually accomplished that is another story entirely, but from most accounts, his heart was usually in the right place.

I salute you, sir. Godspeed and thanks for Nitro.