TNA Bound For Glory 2016

Well… it’s something, I suppose.

Yeah, so whenever I prep these slots, I’ll leave a quick blurb in the intro before starting the musings proper. Once that’s done, I could try and cook up a proper intro for the post. As it turns out, this show gave me a whole bunch of nothing and thus, “It’s something, I suppose” is just about the best thing I could say about this show.

Anyway, let’s get it over with.

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And Down The Drain We Go…

Days after I praised Strange New Worlds for providing me with some “good fucking Star Trek” in the form of Orders of Magnitude, we return to the Well of BIG SWINGS with Once La’An A Time, where the Enterprise goes to Fairy Tale land and instantly regrets it. Although if we’re going to be fair here, I didn’t really mind this. TOS had Shore Leave with its Easter Bunnys, robot knights, and stuff. TNG had QPid. How many holodeck episodes on Voyager? The Wild West planet in Enterprise?

It’s a silly episode in a series of silly episodes… and I wouldn’t mind these if there were more non-silly episodes to offset the silliness… but we’re all about big swings that the cast and crew are sorry/not sorry for… and honestly, neither are the viewers who abandoned this show as a result… which explains why they’re no longer in production. Still, I can’t hate this for no other reason than La’an gets a new friend… no spoilers beyond that tidbit.

And yes, Jimmy is here again… goddamn, he must be the only first officer in Starfleet who doesn’t stay at the starship where he’s the first officer of. Is this the point where Pike just goes “fuck it” and offers Kirk the captaincy right then and there? That way, we can remove all pretense of this being a Pike show and just jumpstart this Year One thing that’s never going to be its own series.

Only one episode remains on this journey of BIG SWINGS before the wait for the final season to roll around. The name of the episode in question? Tomorrow’s Enterprise. I have yet to see the previews for this thing, but I’d imagine that Jim Kirk will be around, won’t he? He’s like the Steve Urkel of this show; sooner or later, the whole show is going to be about him.

Oh wait…

Review #1371 – Off The Wall (Atari 2600)

“You know somethin’, mean Gene? Those kids whose parents got them that 2600 from the 70s need something new to compete against those Japanese wankers, jack!! So whacha gonna do, mean Gene, when the 10.1 inch box runs wild on you? Huh?! WHACHA GONNA DO?!”

“How about Breakout with ethnic foreigners and you can only play with a joystick?”

“That works for me, brother.”

Mediocre A-Lister Who Can’t Act Embraces AI

Source: https://filmstories.co.uk/news/gal-gadot-defends-starring-in-ai-film-throws-in-that-her-lawyers-spent-six-months-checking-the-contract/

As controversial as this may be, let’s not bury the lede here. Gal Gadot could be embracing AI because she’s come to the realization that she’s never been that good of an actor and believes that her performances could be enhanced by AI. Sadly, Gal also believes that it’s called AL and not AI… because AL rhymes with GAL and so, of course, she believes it in it.

Best of luck in all her future endeavors, I guess.

What Happened To Jack Swagger?

Once upon a time, there was a former All American American named Jack… who did a period in WWE before he did a trip to MMA… and then he appeared in AEW with Chris Jericho’s Inner Circle before fucking off to do shoot interviews where he called Tony Khan an idiot.

And then he participates in Concussions R Us (a.k.a. Power Slap) where he slapped a dude hard and that made him a winner, at which point he celebrated by shouting out “FACK DEE TONY CONZ!”

And then he lost his next fight against a former Ring Ka King guy… and then he lost another fight against a guy who ruptured his eyeball.

Moral of the story? Don’t Fack With Dee Tony Conz!

And also, Power Slap is for retards losers.

Absolutely worthless “sport.”

Sony Releases Stupid Piece Of Shit That Doesn’t Fucking Work

(And of course, it’s age-restricted… Thanks, mainstream monkeys.)

From reputable news outlet The Onion comes this report about Sony’s plans to release another shitty doodad that doesn’t do the thing it’s fucking supposed to.

Wait, what do you mean this is a parody video?

Hold on, what do you mean this video is SEVENTEEN YEARS OLD?!

I thought this was relevant.

Still is.

Oh well…

Tomorrow’s a proper vid… but not THAT vid. Tomorrow will explain why.