And Then, There Was… Lightning Jack (1994)

I think it’s safe to say that Lightning Jack was where the Paul Hogan train started to stutter a bit. Sure, the guy hadn’t been in a whole bunch of movies and most people probably mostly know him for his two (at the time) Crocodile Dundee outings, but after Lightning Jack failed in the box office, the only other thing of note that he did before going back to the Croc 3 well is Flipper… you know, the dolphin? They made a bunch of stuff about that dolphin.

Please do not remake Flipper. Not because I have a soft spot for the fella. But because you’re just not any good at it.

For those who have not seen Lightning Jack – if you say you have, you’re probably lying – Paul Hogan stars as Lightning Jack, an outlaw from the outback who has a mute partner in Cuba Downing Jr. and they get into some shenanigans because neither outlaw is good at the whole outlaw thing. This leads to things like mute Ben (Downing) shooting himself in the foot and other hijinks. There’s bits of humor to be found here, Paul Hogan is once again a charming performer that makes Jack a likeable enough bloke that you want to see him succeed in being wanted. Downing did a fine job as the mute Ben with his mannerisms and expressions. And shit, their interactions and mishaps gave me laughs. I don’t care. Misery can be very funny in the right moments.

Here’s the thing with Lightning Jack that hurts the movie – it feels like a knockoff version of Crocodile Dundee. Doesn’t help matters that ol’ Jack Kane is only a few steps away from being another take on Mick Dundee, even if he is supposed to be another character entirely… one that’s on the opposite of the moral compass if you will. He looks too much like Mick Dundee except for those moments where you’re reminded that, “Oh wait, this isn’t Mick Dundee. It’s Lightning Jack.”

And yes, let’s get it out of the way. Lightning Jack’s plot is barebones and thin. There’s no substance to it, but then again, you’re not watching something like this for the plot; you’re mostly watching it for the mild comedy bits and action sequences. In the case of the former, the movie has its moments. In the case of the latter, it’s serviceable enough fare, but nothing too outlandish even within the realm of western parody.

It’s not the worst movie that I’ve ever seen, certainly nowhere near as bad as some critics would have you believe. There were a few laughs here and there, there’s more of that Paul Hogan charm, and the action bits, while not spectacular, were still fun bits, but Lightning Jack feels like a lesser version of Croc Dundee and probably explains why we didn’t get another Croc Dundee until two other guys wrote the thing. Neither good nor bad, it’s just okay.

Review #1327 – Shark! Shark! (Intellivision)

A video review of the almighty Intellivision classic, Shark! Shark!

Yes, so the first of several Intellivision reviews to be featured this month – closing a year-and-a-half long drought in that department. And also being played on the new Intellivision Sprint console… which means all that footage of the cart being inserted into the Intellivision II is just for show and means absolutely nothing… but hey, it’s the thought that count.

So I’m letting this go up earlier than usual because I figured, “Sure, why not?” That tends to happen every so often.

State Of The Blog – June 2026

First month of June… summer is around the corner and that means… nothing in particular. No wrestling posts and a tepid collection of video reviews before we end the month on a blue blur.

The week of June 27th to July 4th will be devoid of video content or anything remotely relevant, but it won’t be devoid of content period, as I’ll be posting a new Flash Fiction entry every day… by which I mean, this stuff was done months ago and will be published on a daily basis from the 27th to the 3rd. No content on the 4th of July because fuck our neighbors in the south for that week in particular before we go back to loving them again… or however we’re supposed to feel by the time that rolls around.

Anyhoo, more detailed update information after the break

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Review #1326 – Chip N Dale Rescue Rangers 2 (NES)

The end of the Disney Afternoon week on the channel, the universe, and the most mind-blowing revelation since Baby Yoda getting punched in the face. And just because I feel like it, you’re getting this one early in the morning. All hail the once and future Squirrel Kings.

AEW Dynamite (May 27th, 2026) – Double Or Nothing Fallout Boy

Well, it’s the Dynamite after Double Or Nothing and there’s also an hour of Collision that I didn’t watch because the PVR didn’t catch it, which means that I missed the Kris Stat/Hikaru Shida Lights Out main event. Can we not have these 3-hours just be Dynamite and not some weird combination of one show that TSN airs with another hour of whatever. This is reminding me of that Impact/ReAction experiment that TNA tried back in the dark days where they’d have Impact end in the middle of their main event and then people would have to watch another show to see the rest of it. Fuck off with that noise, man.

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Review #1325 – Ducktales 2 (NES)

Which is the graver injustice? That this sequel is better than the original game that people actually like or that Scrooge McDuck plagiarized all of Darkwing Duck’s best bits? I wish I could say “all this and more,” but really, all I do is talk about the game and the rest is saved for your imagination… such as it is.