The One-Cent Adventure! Literally. When on discount, anyway… oh well.
This review also serves as a sort of unofficial conclusion to the series of videos that began with a Five Dollar Nintendo Shop Gift Card. Whatever was left on the balance was probably spent on taxes and stuff. Either way, I’m done with this experiment and we can move on to something else.
Thank fuck for that.
Yeah, since I touched on the MLP Mayhem show I (barely) watched (without falling asleep due to exhaustion… please don’t take that to mean the show is boring. Just that midnight is a horrible time to watch a wrestling show.), I may as well touch on that night’s episode of Dynamite, which I also didn’t watch a whole lot of, if I’m being honest.
I did watch the opening match that saw Andrade retain his title over Jack Perry and Nick Wayne in a pretty fun opener. The crowd is clearly into Andrade’s stick at the moment, which is a nice breath of fresh air compared to all the other times I’ve seen Andrade on TV and nobody gave a shit. And you can even tell that Andrade is putting a little effort because he cut a promo afterwards that had me sold on what he was doing. I know WWE is the be-all and end-all for some folks, but name me one time when Andrade was anything resembling a noteworthy deal on WWE television that isn’t NXT. Good luck with that.
“Um, League Of Nations?” Fuck off with that noise.
Six-man tag that I didn’t see much off is followed by a sitdown interview/conversation between Cope & Cage and the Bucks. You hear people cheering and popping in the background, which somewhat detracts from the piece, which I thought was pretty good. Again, they’re doing what they can to hype up this big dream and get it out of the way at All In for the eventual other dream team match thing that’s going to come along one of these days involving a certain tag team of sorts whose no-compete is on the verge of expiry.
At which point, the phone rang and I largely ignored the rest of the show. I’ve heard good things, though. There was a Kenny/Ospreay promo that I missed in the overrun. I mean, they’re trying to get people hyped for All In from Wembley Round 3. If that means good online hype, then, great, fantastic…
Will that translate to ticket sales, however? Because you’re holding the same event at the same venue for the third time in four years. If, at any point, someone decides to watch these things year to year, they’re going to notice the crowd getting smaller and smaller and smaller and smaller. And it’s embarrassing. People already complain about the crowds being not as big as they used to be, but you watch the stadium shows and the same venue is gradually producing smaller crowds year after years… that’s a optical issue that you need to fix. Either book a smaller venue or book a better card.
Preferably both would be nice, too.
Anyway, shortly after the bulk of this post was written and I made my way back home, I did load up the Willow promo from that show and hey, you know what? That’s another hell of a promo. It’s not yelly-screamy promo stuff that’s all shooty and shit, but it was a very believable, very straightforward piece that told me all about Willow and her struggles up to this point. Do I want all these wrestlers to be relatable? Not really; you need these people to be larger than life… but sometimes, that doesn’t always work out. Sometimes, a simpler approach works. Willow has a character that works for her. She also has a mom that’s inspiring and that’s a nice touch of reality that helps… I don’t need that mom to be a character on TV, however. Even SUE got too much screen time that ventured into overkill after a while.
And then Mercedes comes out and cuts the usual Mercedes promo that I’ve seen her cut a billion times and this leads to a back and forth between her and Willow that is mildly entertaining (Willow tried, which is more than what I can say for Mercedes – come at me, stans) before the Divine people came in and ruined things… which brings out the Birds. These are actual tag team names…. in fairness, I’ve heard worse names such as any name preceded with the word “team.”
Like I said, I didn’t see a whole lot of this Dynamite… but what I saw was entertaining enough, the promos I spotted did a fair job of selling me on their matches, and it got more more excited for All In than this Summerslam show coming up this weekend, which costs a Netflix subscription to watch and features the WWE debut of Nick Aldis as an active wrestler for the first time in years. And as much I would like to watch THAT piece of business, it’s not enough to sell me on a month of Netflix to watch one match on one weekend…
But hey, McSon-In-Law wants people to fuck off and be a fan… enjoy the show. Well, that’s not a problem for me. I fucked off long ago and I’m enjoying someone else’s show.
Anyway… that’s the show.
It is the 31st of July in the year of our lord 2026… and it’s the time-honoured tradition of my declaration of not having watched the Section 31 streaming motion picture starring Academy Award winner Michelle Yeoh.
Yes, we are still doing this.
For how long?
As long as it takes…
As long as it takes what?
I don’t know. Until I feel like stopping.
Cool. And when will that be?
Fuck knows.
Oh.
All I know is that this amuses me.
Oh… fuck.
Yes.
I’m scared.
You should be, child.
Someone had the audacity to forward me Grayson Waller’s so-called “pipebomb” from this past week’s edition of NXT. I watch it, I believe none of what this man is saying, and the whole thing went over like the proverbial fart in church.
Let’s be fair, though; as great as that original “pipebomb” was fifteen years ago, it’s not exactly timeless. Punk eventually got what he wanted and now his so-called “pipebombs” are more like water balloons. They’ll make a bit of a mess, but they’re practically harmless.
Grayson’s wet fart is somewhere beneath that, even. At least Punk sells his bullshit and can convince you it’s real. If Grayson was capable of cutting such promos, he wouldn’t be exiled back to NXT while his former tag partner is filling a spot on RAW.
Anyway, I’m on the road for the next few hours and should be home later tonight. Will throw something together for Saturday night.
Later.
So after what seemed like weeks into the show’s lifespan, I finally managed to come across an airing of the new Mayhem show from Scott D’Amore’s Maple Leaf Pro wrestling promotion… which airs at midnight on TSN. Hell of a time to catch a wrestling show… reminds me of the days when they used to air first-run RAWs at midnights. The good ol’ days…
Oh wait, those weren’t good ol’ days. I still went to bed early those days… AND I slept well (enough).
Anyway, the show itself is a passable hour of wrestling. Opening with a fun six-man tag match between the team Jay Lethal, Blake Christian & Lee Johnson going up against Psycho Mike, BILLY GUNN (yes, he’s still going… when does he main event Wrestlemania? ) & Zach Gowen (yes, that Zach Gowen… the one-legged Zach Gowen… he’s still going, too… when does HE main event Wrestlemania?) that saw Lethal score the win for his team by rolling up Psycho Michael… is Lethal still with AEW? Is it wrong to presume a string or two was pulled to have the AEW guy go over the Psycho Mike fellow?
Next match are mostly fresh faces for me, as the team Flash Morgan Webster & Mark Andrews (a.k.a. SUBCULTURE) defeated Gabriel Fuerza & Vaughn Vertigo (a.k.a. FIGHT OR FLIGHT) in a match that was a bit too short for my liking, especially with two teams I’m largely unfamiliar with. Alas, the drawbacks of running a short runtime is what will hurt some of these shorter matches, including the one women’s match that also went by fairly quickly and featured two women I knew nothing about.
Main event featured Rohan Raja defending what they called a PWA Champion’s Grail against the Dark Order’s Evil Uno, who – despite being an AEW guy – did NOT win the match, but then out comes Stu Grayson, who I’m told is the interim Canadian champion (lots of interim champions these days) and he accepts Raja’s challenge from last week to put his title on the line, but only if Raja puts up his grail for grabs.
And then the show ends with Adam Copeland cutting a promo… I guess he’ll be showing up at a later MLP show. Christian Cage, however, couldn’t be bothered. He’s too busy being father of the year, somewhere.
So what do you want me to tell you? It’s a hour-long show (with commercials) that has a couple matches and a couple squashes to fill time. Just fine if you want to kill an hour watching perfectly acceptable wrestling, but certainly not worth staying up at night on a weekly basis. Even trying to DVR this thing, it’ll probably be something I’ll forget to catch up on with all the other stuff going.
That having been said, I’ve seen a couple (full) MLP shows in the past and there’s been some promise with some of the stuff they pulled out. Wish those guys all the best and hopefully, I’ll be able to watch a couple more of their shows down the road. There’s an interest on my end… but this show needs a better timeslot.
Next month – August 31st, to be precise – will mark the 15th anniversary of The New 52!
The 2011 attempt by DC Comics to reboot their entire universe, kicked off by the five-issue event comic Flashpoint – which would be used as the basis for the Ezra Miller Flash movie that James Gunn declared “the greatest superhero film ever made” or something – which was done in a rush and without any prior warning ahead of time to give creators time to flesh out their plans, save for a select few involved who got to keep their continuities going despite the whole thing being a “clean slate” for all.
Five years later, the New 52 would slowly be phased in favor of a “Rebirth” that restored elements of pre-New 52 continuity.
There are a lot of pieces and articles out there that can dive into the whole history of The New 52 – here’s one example here – but this commentary is less about how the world viewed The New 52, but rather my own reaction to the whole deal… or perhaps a lack thereof.
Continue reading “THE BITE COMMENTARY #19 – The (Not So) New 52!”
Nostalgia can be a hell of a drug, kids… but sometimes, it can also suck ass. As much of a time killer as this was back in the day, this is one of those games that simply do not hold up. And I don’t even think it’s that bad of a game… up to a point.
Another year, another Bound For Glory PPV event, another Bound For Glory main event featuring Sting challenging for the World title… again. I’ve got little to say about this edition, as I was largely ignoring TNA for the most part, so we’ll see if this is at least better than last year’s show that I sampled last week.
From Deadline.com is an article reporting that Atari Inc. has inked a deal with Universal Pictures to develop ten of their classic video game properties into theatrical motion pictures, with the first project being a screenplay by Matt Reilly and Carl Hampe, to be produced by Entertainment 360… they don’t specific what particular IP this is adapting, but according to the article, Universal has the rights to make movies based on the following Atari properties.
Get a load of this, folks. We’ve got ASTEROIDS… we’ve got ADVENTURE… we’ve got BERZERK… we’ve got BREAKOUT… CENTIPEDE… CRYSTAL CASTLES; I can see a possible Bentley Bear franchise if that ends up being a winner… MILLIPEDE, so we already know Centipde might get a sequel… MISSILE COMMAND, which, yeah, I could see a movie out of that… PONG… yes, PONG is getting a movie… and finally YARS’ REVENGE, which might be the only one that has some basis for a possible feature film.
Now the rest of it, though… yeah, I question why things like GRAN TURISMO or CALL OF DUTY are getting movie adaptations, but at least, those are recent gaming properties that people are widely familiar with and are still being played today. But when someone tells me that they’re going to make a movie about PONG, which is just two lines and a dot bouncing around the screen… this is CollegeHumor-levels of parody we’re dealing with here.
But here’s the thing, though; is there any real, genuine interest from the movie-going audience in seeing movies based on very old, very ancient Atari arcade titles? And most of all, how do you make movies based on these things and make them interesting? These are old arcade titles with the barest minimum of substance. How do you make a movie about blasting asteroids? How do you make a movie about BREAKOUT? BERZERK… I don’t know, maybe… MISSILE COMMAND might have something to it… ADVENTURE is just fill in the blanks… YARS REVENGE has something there… but explain to me how you make a movie about PONG?
And then explain to me why anyone would want to make movies about these games, let alone watch them… and I’m not asking that in any dismissive fashion, as if to say, “Who the fuck is gonna watch this shit?” I’m genuinely curious as to why anyone believes that people would want to see movies based on these very old and simplistic Atari games that, outside of those few who still play these old Atari games… is there an audience out there that is absolutely clamoring for an Atari cinematic universe to come along and exist among all the other IPs being farmed for content fodder that is going to get a bit of a buzz, get released, and then quickly forgotten about to make way for the next big thing.
I mean, if you’re an old-school Atari fan and you’re excited about this news, I’m curious as to why… because as someone who grew up playing Atari and still plays Atari in some fashion, I have no interest in these potential films whatsoever… but then again, I must be missing something because apparently, there is an interest in making these arcade titles into movies.
So… I don’t know… we’ll see how this develops and who knows? Maybe that first movie gives us a good first impression and maybe grabs some eyeballs. And hey, if they produce a trailer worth a damn that sells me on whatever they’re doing, I’ll give it a shot… on streaming, of course. I haven’t had the urge to watch a movie in theaters since Superman.
When last we saw our heroes, they were being overwhelmed by a new villain that’s a rehash of an old villain in Rita Rabiosa and one of their own has seemingly decided to set their communicator on Do Not Disturb, hence why they’re not answering the call. Also, I had a lot more questions than I had answers and was hoping that this issue would at least fill in some holes that desperately needed filling.
Well, about that…
Continue reading “COMIC REVIEW – Mighty Morphin Power Rangers (2026) #2”
