Category: Wrestling Musings

All posts related to pro rasslin’ that isn’t covering specific shows or events.

I Asked ChatGPT to Book Asuka’s Last Match… Against GUNTHER

WWE can have this one for free, by the way. It’s AI-generated, which they love – and it involves GUNTHER continuing his gimmick of having people’s last matches and then “retiring” them. And then if people shit on this thing, you can have McSon-In-Law tell them to fuck off and be fans… or have Nick Khan call them the vocal minority… or maybe drive up more subscriptions to hear Uncle Dave stammer about how this is the worst affront to a Japanese wrestler since Okada stubbed his toe or something.

I don’t know. I didn’t make this up – I just asked a question and some gimmick gave me an answer that thoroughly entertained me… which means the people who actually get PAID to throw this creative together are doing a worse off job than a common AI program that anyone can access. I’m not advocating for AI to completely book wrestling shows anytime soon, but at this point, it’s difficult to argue with results.

Anyway, I give you Asuka vs. GUNTHER in Asuka’s Last Match by ChatGPT. Enjoy and be afraid.

Continue reading “I Asked ChatGPT to Book Asuka’s Last Match… Against GUNTHER”

You’re Jobbing Asuka To GUNTHER, Aren’t You?

I can see it now.

Goldberg Complains About “Some Japanese Girl” Getting Better Send Off Than He Did.

Also, that big announcement John Cena teased is for another competition that nobody is going to care, but are going to pretend they do because the algorithm requires engagement… and Dauhausen’s mystery partner turned out to be a Minihausen.

I thought I told you clowns not to do mystery gimmicks anymore. They’re always disappointing and you suck at them.

This is where I remind people that I don’t have a Netflix subscription and have no such inclination to get one any time soon.

But, hey, that Ronda/Gina thing is next week, isn’t it? Maybe that’ll be a big hit or something… right?

Moving right along…

Can We Fire Logan Paul?

Local hero Joe Hendry asking the hard questions… and if not, then why not?

Seriously, though, good for Joe. Glad to see WWE lean into his musical talents and letting him do these music videos. That’s what got him into the dance. Lean into it. Use it. It’s a rare gift. In a time of uncertainty, we could all use a little levity.

Wishing that man all the success in the world.

I still believe…

Oh, and Danhausen trolling Miz is fun, too…

Good for him, I guess…

The Annual Post-Wrestlemania Bloodletting

Alba Fyre, one of Chelsea Green’s Slaygents or whatever they’re called, is gone. RIP Alba Fyre. Welcome back, Kay Lee Rey.

The entire Wyatt Sicks faction (Bo Dallas, Joe Gacy, Nikki Cross, Dexter Lumis, and some other dude) got cut. A group of folks that got a strong introduction that was certainly memorable if nothing else, only to fizzle out because nobody had any clue on what to do with them. Kind of sad that their last big program was over a lantern against the Bloodline B-Team. Could you have done more with them? I don’t know… maybe… I get wanting to continue the legacy and creative drive of the late Bray Wyatt, but it rings hollow when all you have is a spooky entrance and not much substance. This is something that just doesn’t fit in the wrestling landscape because nobody would have any clue on what to do with it.

Aleister Black and Zelina Vega are also gone. Aleister Black, who returned to WWE after a stint in AEW, no doubt figured that he’d be better off except not really. Closest was a couple cursory involvements with Sami Zayn and Randy Orton before TKO decided that PAT MCAFEE can save Wrestlemania. (Spoiler: He didn’t.) I hope TK is forgiving… or maybe TNA has a spot open for Lucius Black or something. As for Thea… well, there’s always Twitch.

KAIRI seems to be the big surprise here, as she was a pivotal piece in the ASUKA/IYO SKY feud and without that element, what do you have left for these two to fight over? Also gone are the Motor City Machine Guns, Santos Escobar, Apollo Crew, and some NXT guys and gals whose names I don’t recall.

Wish these folks all the best in their future endeavors.

Remember when Ric Flair had a finance company?

Once upon a time, there was a man named Flair. He “won” a bunch of fake belts all over the world, became a big star in the business, and built a legacy. Then he got out of the business and pissed away that legacy with a bunch of shit that has leaked online and stuff.

At one point in September 2007, Ric Flair started up a finance company, naturally dubbed Ric Flair Finance. The banner above was what you got when you visited their website. And for those who think that I’m pulling this out of my ass, I’ve provided a Wayback Machine link to ricflairfinance.com that lets you view all the incarnations of said website.

According to Wikipedia, the business shut down in July 2008, which implies that the business lasted about ten months. HOWEVER, the Wayback Machine only has one archived version of the website from May 2008 and on the page is a simple message telling visitors to contact an e-mail for Ric Flair bookings. Simply put, Ric Flair Finance not only didn’t last a whole year; it didn’t even last eight months. Perhaps even sooner.

2008 Dave might have been surprised by this outcome, but 2011 Dave was feeling pity for the man whom he said used to be the biggest name in wrestling, only to become the biggest joke on the Internet. Oh, if only he had seen how much worse it would become for Ric Flair.

I bring this up because apparently Flair did a podcast with that Ariel person… and sure enough, he was drunk as shit, talking about all his fake accolades and bitching about people being supposedly jealous of his fame and fortune or whatever. And whenever I hear him talk about fortune, I’m thinking this is a guy who could really offer good advice on how to handle money.

And then I remember Ric Flair Finance.

Never mind.

I might not be as famous, I might not be as rich, but I am sure as shit a better person than Ric Flair could hope to be. And believe me when I say; that is not a high bar to reach.

Don’t enable this shit, kids. Stupid people do stupid things for the attention. Case in point…

If you have any further “interest” in this topic, I’ve done posts in the past… though don’t expect them to be informative or anything like that. I just react to shit.

Ric Flair Finances… (September 17th, 2007)
Flair Finance No More And No Love For TNA (July 9th, 2008)
Do You Remember… Ric Flair Finance (May 27th, 2011)

Enough With The Underwhelming Mysteries, OK, H?

First, it was the MYSTERY BOX and who did it turn out to be?

Danhausen.

Not a big deal for me, perfect fit for WWE, but clearly people wanted someone else and they’re not getting them.

Now, we have the MYSTERY CALLER of Randy Orton. Oooh, lots of hype for that, huh? Big time Wrestlemania main event that was booked almost last minute and we have a mystery caller?

And who did it turn out to be?

Pat MacAfee.

No, really.

Could this have something to do with that one person who was rumored to show up for months, only for him to show up on the other show instead?

I don’t know… maybe…

But I do know one thing: McSon-In-Law should really stop doing mystery angles. The payoff for these things suck and with this and all these empty promises of era-defining moments that never happen, he’s practically turning into Dixie Carter. That’s not a good thing.

You know… sometimes, finding out about these things online is the only real way to go. It saves the time and investment wasted on underwhelming pay-offs.

Jericho Has Returned!

…to AEW last night.

From Winnipeg, you idiot.

Okay, now that we’ve resolved that piece of business, we can all move on with our lives.

“But what about the mystery caller talking to Randy?”

Who cares? It’s not coming out of a box.

Don’t give a fuck.

“Oh, but they brought back the Queen Of Ear Rape to slap the taste out of-”

Do. Not. Give. A. Fuck.

Next.

How Can I Miss You If You Won’t Go Away?

You know… there are a number of announcements that can get me to drop everything, subscribe to Netflix, and dedicate a whole weekend to watching what could very well be the most underwhelming Wrestlemania showcase in WWE history… at least, until next year.

Announcing that John Cena is going to host the thing… is not one of them.

Can he just fuck off and do movies now? What is he going to do now? More MEMES on Twitter?

Gah…