Category: DTM’s Fiction

I Asked ChatGPT to Book Asuka’s Last Match… Against GUNTHER

WWE can have this one for free, by the way. It’s AI-generated, which they love – and it involves GUNTHER continuing his gimmick of having people’s last matches and then “retiring” them. And then if people shit on this thing, you can have McSon-In-Law tell them to fuck off and be fans… or have Nick Khan call them the vocal minority… or maybe drive up more subscriptions to hear Uncle Dave stammer about how this is the worst affront to a Japanese wrestler since Okada stubbed his toe or something.

I don’t know. I didn’t make this up – I just asked a question and some gimmick gave me an answer that thoroughly entertained me… which means the people who actually get PAID to throw this creative together are doing a worse off job than a common AI program that anyone can access. I’m not advocating for AI to completely book wrestling shows anytime soon, but at this point, it’s difficult to argue with results.

Anyway, I give you Asuka vs. GUNTHER in Asuka’s Last Match by ChatGPT. Enjoy and be afraid.

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The High Ground (Fun With Uberduck – 2021 Audio)

Uberduck is an AI-based text-to-speech online resource that used to have a bunch of IP-infringing voices to read your written word before they were taken down in 2023. You can then save recorded clips into WAV files and do with them whatever you see fit… which resulted in this short audio clip where Anakin has the high ground and Obi-Wan… doesn’t.

This clip has never been published until now.

The only thing AI-generated are the voices, which sounded close but still broken. The audio clips were edited together in VEGAS and the one image used good ol’ Adobe Photoshop to flip our Jedi around from their usual spots. Had this been created today, the process might have been easier and the quality a little better… which should be concern to anyone.

No harm is intended with this clip. Posted purely for entertainment purposes… but perhaps also a warning of sorts.

I Asked ChatGPT To Craft An Amazing Video Game Idea

George Wood of Gaming In The Clinton Years fame had a challenge for Eidos. In Tomb Raider III, create a storyline in which Lara gets breast cancer. Imagine the drama of a vulnerable Lara Croft still persisting on her worldly adventures despite her illness. It needs fleshing out, no pun intended, but we guarantee the gaming world would be shocked, stunned, and moved by the effort to make Lara’s character more meaningful. We love Lara, but it’s about time the industry had a big shock for a change.

ChatGPT – ever the creative genius – had the following to say on this amazing video game idea.

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Doctor Boo And Chef Gordon Debate Fish Custard

Doctor Boo and Chef Gordon debate the culinary value of fish fingers and custard. Obviously not a real thing and the AI thing helped a bit, which should strike fear in the heart of Marble Mouth Davies that ChatGPT can produce a better Doctor Who script than anything out of his return trip.

Anyway, here’s the fun portion…

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Boo Goes The Doctor – How Chef Handles Castlevania Wall Meat

I’ve taken the liberty of asking ChatGPT how Gordon Ramsay would react to Castlevania Wall Meat. This is the response I was given…

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Sea Devils Serial Gets New Re-Release Despite RTD’s Efforts

Source: https://www.doctorwhotv.co.uk/doctor-who-sea-devils-special-106375.htm

The classic Jon Pertwee-helmed 1972 Doctor Who serial, The Sea Devils, is getting a fresh new special edition edit coming to BBC’s exclusive online streamer gimmick, due in December. Not mentioned in the story is RTD’s attempts to get the special renamed “The Homo Aquas” since he considers the original “Sea Devil” name to be “racist” and actually considers the Doctor to be the villain since he was played by a white dude. The BBC, naturally, told him to fuck off and go back to his silly Christmas special.

The Sea Devils: Special Edition sees release on December 7th.

Hart And Nash Feud Over A Chair (And Other Kayfabes)

Bret Hart was apparently invited to Summerslam and was upset that WWE never offered him a seat, but HHH’s best buddy Kevin Nash was. But then out comes Kevin Nash to claim that he never even made it to Summerslam and thus was offered no seat. No word from Chris Hansen as to whether he asked either man to take a seat.

Word has it that Nick Khan is pushing for HHH to book the match between Hart and Nash to main event the Royal Rumble from the benevolent and progressive kingdom of Saudi Arabia, with the added perk of making it a Seat On A Pole match, with whoever being able to grab the seat wins the match and the seat. HHH, meanwhile, is hoping to book the match as a main event for whatever WWE PLE show he can pull out of his ass to counter whatever AEW PPV is coming up that needs to be countered.

In other news, TNA President Carlos Silva continues cutting interviews to remind people that he exist and he’s looking for the right number to sell TNA to WWE.

Some of these stories may or may not be true. None of them matter because at least Bill Goldberg didn’t end your career.

I Asked ChatGPT To Write A Doctor Who Script… This Is The Result

In the further adventures of Doctor Boo – hence the recycling of yesterday’s banner – I’ve asked ChatGPT to write a brief scene for a Doctor Who script. Granted, it’s an unlikely doctor/companion combination, but it’s already a better script than anything that the show has put out since Steven Moffat stepped down as showrunner.

Minor spoiler, here: but bonus points for not including any crying.

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