A Year Ago, SNK Fans Forgot To Relax Their Rectal Cavities

So it was about a year go when Fatal Fury: City Of The Wolves – the first real Fatal Fury in decades – hit the streets, as it were. It was also about a year ago this month when SNK introduced two new fighters to the mix; famed football/soccer player Cristiano Ronaldo and some DJ named Salvatore who I only know from the one clip where he told his audience to try and relax their anus.

You probably know the clip I’m talking about.

I didn’t comment on this at the time of release, given that I’ve been undergoing some other troubles at the time and by the time I was out of the hospital, I had completely forgotten about it. Full disclosure: I have not played the game myself. I’ll probably wait for a massive price drop before I dive in, though I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t weary of anything involving SNK these days, given their current owners that are benevolent and progressive. But then they decided that a real life soccer player and a real life DJ who’s more of a meme to me than anything are worthy additions to a fighting game roster than, say, insert favorite SNK character here.

I don’t know. I’m largely ambivalent on the whole deal. Maybe that’s why I didn’t comment on this last year; I heard about it, read the online reaction, and didn’t give the thing another thought. Then again, part of me regrets not saying anything, as telling SNK fans to relax their collective anuses or something would have hit closer to home.

Eh… maybe not…

Nintendo Classics Virtual Boy Launch Line Up

For those who don’t want to watch the weeks-old video, your launch line up for Tuesday’s upcoming Virtual Boy debut on Nintendo Classics include Galactic Pinball, Teleroboxer, Red Alarm, Virtual Boy Wario Land, 3-D TETRIS, Golf, and the originally import-only release, The Mansion of Innsmouth…

Seems like a reasonable line-up of Virtual Boy titles… though ironic that the only one of these that pique my interest is the side-scrolling Wario Land game. Would be nice to play these without having to buy a piece of plastic (or even cardboard) that’s going to take up space and collect dust more than anything, so until that happens… I’ve got other stuff to keep me busy.

Spider-Noir… Coming Soon.

I know nothing about the Spider-Man Noir that this is based on… but you know what, I’m intrigued by this. And I like the fact that you can either watch it in color or in black and white… the latter as your wormhole aliens intended, I’m sure.

Spider-Noir premieres on MGM+ May 25th, with Prime Video getting it a couple days later. Genuinely looking forward to this one.

PEE COCK IS ONE HUNDRED YEARS ANCIENT

100 Years Of NBC… and 26 years of pretending that Conan O’Brien never got the Tonight Show… I guess they couldn’t find two clips of Big Jaw to add to that montage.

Never letting that go, by the way…

Oh well… at least they remembered that Star Trek was a thing… that they cancelled… TWICE.

Happy birthday, NBC.

Now go fuck yourselves.

 

800 Year Old Holo-Doctor Terrifies Cadets And More…

A clip from the upcoming Starfleet Academy show featuring Robert Picardo as the Doctor… yes, the same Doctor he played in Star Trek: Voyager… what’s that saying about the more things change?

How much of this show is Picardo actually in? I might tune for his bits alone. The rest of it… eh, we’ll see when the show premieres on Thursday.

Unless Jay Wants To Do It Too

You folks don’t mind if I hold off today’s upload until later tonight to fix a couple last minute things? Great, fantastic. Here’s something to hold you over; six minutes of Conan O’Brien doing Jay Leno impressions.

Given it’s been fifteen years since the whole Coco/Leno/NBC late night fiasco and I’ve largely been silent on the issue, this is as close as you’ll get to a commemoration of the event.

Somehow Mega Man Returns… Dual Override – Coming In 2027

From my understanding, for all intents and purposes – or at least until Capcom decides otherwise – this is the 12th mainline entry in the Classic Mega Man series, but rather than going with a numbered title, they settled on Dual Override. Could this mean something more than just another entry in the series? I don’t know and frankly, I don’t give a damn. I’m just happy to see that we get to celebrate the ol’ Rockman’s 40th anniversary with the release of a new game rather than the announcement of a new game or (as is usually the case with these Mega Man anniversaries in recent decades) fuck all.

While this may disappoint some fans who would prefer a Mega Man X9 (for some reason) or a Mega Man Legends 3 (to finish the story or something), I’ll take what I can get if it’s a genuine new game and not some gatcha mobile thing or another legacy collection of a subseries that doesn’t interest me. My tastes are Mega Specific, man.

Street Fighter Teaser Thing

The teaser for the upcoming Street Fighter movie starring Roman Reigns as Akuma, Cody Rhodes as Guile, and Jason Momoa as… Blanka?

So, wait, you have a movie that features both ROMAN REIGNS and JASON MOMOA and you DON’T cast them as identical Kung Fu Twins YUN and YANG? The perfect casting choice was RIGHT THERE!

Other than that, though… the actors look the part, for the most part. Amazed that someone would be cast as Joe of Street Fighter I fame… I wonder if he’ll be DLC for a future Street Fighter 6 patch.

Beyond that, though… meh.

We’ll see.

The Eternal Wait For The Next Intellivision Console Finally Ends…

Glory be the heavens! Never thought I’d see the day that Intellivision would come through and finally release their new video game console… except it’s just like their old video game console. Where’s the white exterior? Where’re the updated graphics? Where are the new games like Finnegan Fox or Dynablaster? Where’s CORNHOLE?

Wait… what’s that? This isn’t Amicovision? This is ATARI’s version of an Intellivision console? The one with 45 built-in games and wireless controllers? Wait… what do you mean Atari OWNS Intellivision now? What about Mattel? Who owns them?