Category: DTM’s Fiction

My Conversation With A Man Who Klings On His Honor

Last year, I wrote a fake interview with Superman, who turned out to be a different take from the usual Superman take. No one bit on it and for good reason… well, here we are again with another fictional conversation of sorts… and today’s guest would say that his kind never do these sorts of things… but then again, he’ll say that about a lot of things that he wouldn’t want to do.

There are good Klingons and there are bad Klingons. Good Klingons have high regard for honor. Bad Klingons don’t. Good Klingons are fighters who are willing to die. Bad Klingons are cowards and don’t want to risk their lives for common fights.

And then there’s Worf.

Worf can’t be classified as either a good Klingon or a bad Klingon. In fact, he can’t even be considered the Starfleet Klingon because then you’d have to neglect B’Elanna Torres of Voyager (never mind the fact she’s only half Klingon – it still counts!) So how does one describe Worf?

Well, Worf is a pretty unexcited fellow. He claims Klingons do not laugh, and soon he discovered that Klingons not only laugh, but they go targ-hunting, eat worms, and kill people purely for entertainment sakes. Worf eventually became an ambassador, but that job didn’t last long and was soon an officer with a small role in Nemesis. Worf, now on leave after killing more imaginary cowboys in the holodeck, has decided to grace his presence and grant me some (fake) interview time.

The results are as follows… and was hidden from view for years for a very good reason, I’m afraid…

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What If Kane’s Run As WWF Champion Lasted Longer?

So King Of The Ring 98 is known primarily for two things; Hell In A Cell and also Kane defeating Stone Cold Steve Austin in a First Blood match (thanks to a deliberate chairshot from Undertaker) to win the WWF Championship… which he would lose the next night on RAW back to Austin in order to pop some sort of rating… which they didn’t need to do because they were already handing WCW their ass, but I digress.

So the thought occurred to me the other day… what if Kane had been champion a little longer than a day? Maybe… let’s say about a couple weeks before the next PPV. Give Austin something to chase for a bit. Could you have produced some compelling television with that piece of business? I don’t know… maybe…

Here’s the thing with that angle. It could have worked because of the Undertaker factor. The whole thing with Taker and Kane and whether they’re in cahoots or not probably would have worked better if Taker was doing whatever he could to protect Kane and his title from harm… not necessarily out of brotherly love, but mostly so that when the time came, he’d be the one to challenge Kane for the title and no one else. Maybe you keep Austin off TV for a week or two to sell the chairshot he ate from Taker before he comes back and issue the man-to-man challenge to Kane, who accepts at the next PPV and then while Undertaker gets his title shot at Summerslam, Austin regains the belt from Kane and then we can do business as usual.

It could have been interesting, I suppose… but then again, am I just waxing nostalgia for the good old days or am I just doing whatever I can to avoid talking about the current WWE product… which is kinda, sorta sucking right about now?

I dunno… just a thought.

My Conversation With A Man Of Steel

So a while back, I had come across MAD About Superheroes, which was a collection of MAD Magazine strips and pieces about superheroes. One of the pieces included was called “Superman R.I.P.” and was no doubt released during the hype period surrounding the Death of Superman story in the 90s… and yes, Superman is still around today, so that amounted to nothing.

Anyway, in one of the frames, Superman is shelling out his guts to a therapist and the thought occurred… what was the guy actually saying during that session? I don’t know, either… but I ended up writing this thing, which turned out to be… quite something else.

Originally dubbed a “Fictional Interview” but retitled something less mechanical and soulless… and yes, there are more of these to come.

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