Had I posted this last week, I would have been Nostrodamus.
So, at the WWE Crown Royal event from the benevolent and progressive kingdom of Saudi Arabia… or Night Of Champions or whatever it was… WWE Blood Money XIV or something… Sami Zayn won the WWE Championship in the main event over previous champion Cody Rhodes and challenger GUNTHER. And there have been a lot of thoughts on this event. Some say he deserved the win. Other say this was a bad move. The wrestling podcast media… whatever you want to call it… trying to figure out what to make of this Sami thing; is he dropping it to Brock? Is he holding it until Wrestlemania? Could he drop it back to Cody at Summerslam? Will he sit at home and defend it against Kevin Owens? El Generico? Mr. Sandman? The Amazon? So many different possibilities… and such…
And so during down times in the john, I’m going through these things fairly quickly. All the pundits and articles speculating on what could happen… and I’m thinking that all these people are overthinking this whole Sami deal when it’s clear as day that Sami Zayn, the new WWE Champion, is going to lose the title to CM Punk in Chicago on Monday Night RAW.
I didn’t need to listen to a billion podcasts to come to this conclusion, I didn’t need to subscribe to Uncle Dave – which I’m not – I didn’t need to camp out at eleven billion websites… all I needed were a couple WWE clips online, a quick recap of events, and the knowledge that a WWE title match is happening on RAW rather than Smackdown… and also RAW is taking place in Chicago… who do you think comes from Chicago and is a big star there?
And you know what? I wanted… and I mean, REALLY wanted to put this out there last week… because everyone was overthinking this whole Sami deal the same way they were overthinking the John Cena retirement tour… you know, the one where he appeared on a WWE PLE to announce that 2025 was his last year wrestling before calling it quits and then people were thinking of how this thing would end without ever considering the end that made the most sense because it was telegraphed the day this whole thing started… but that’s another story that I’ve already discussed in the past.
Like the opening line said, had I posted this last week, I would’ve been a regular Nostrodamus.
This is shit that’s fairly easy to figure out when you look at what’s in front of you. People are chanting for a certain someone. Oh noes; the scheduled challenger has been taken out and can’t compete tonight. We needs a replacement, yo! And then the Nick Aldis comes up and sez “Homie, I got someone who can challenge Sami-Daddy.” And the crowd’s figured this shit out and then sure enough, Chicago’s own Chocolate Mucus Punk comes out, he and Sami has a match, Punk wins the title, all is right in the world, I guess, I suppose… I don’t know. I don’t follow the Twitterz all that much. Do we like this? Do we not like this?
More importantly, do we even care?
So here’s my take on the whole Sami deal… as someone who saw this guy in Montreal back in 2023 when he was treated as the hottest thing in that whole fucking company live and in person (on both Smackdown and the following night’s PPV – which you can read about both here, by the way – damn straight I’m salty we didn’t get that here when he was at his hottest, no matter how fleeting of a chance it was. As much of a snowball’s chance that there was of seeing a title change that night – against the multi-year reigning champion Roman Reigns, no less – there was that hope that maybe… just maybe… we can pivot for a short bit before Roman can win it back a week or so later. Alas…
Now, with that out of the way, I am not blind to the fact that Sami winning the title in Saudi – regardless of my feelings towards the current product or towards these Saudi shows in general – this is a very big deal in the career of Sami Zayn. Considering when this Saudi deal started back in 2018, he wasn’t even allowed in the country due to his beliefs and his upbringing, and then almost a decade later, here he is main eventing a Saudi show and getting the pinfall win over CODY RHODES to win his first WWE World title. Regardless of the circumstances, as someone who saw this guy at the height of his popularity in Montreal a couple years back, super thrilled that Sami got this moment and yes, it’s a moment that I feel is well earned.
With that in mind… I didn’t care. Partly because the WWE product as a whole isn’t doing it for me… which would have been the only reason for me to even consider a Netflix subscription at this point and I haven’t had one since December… what else is left for me to watch, really? But also, I knew that this title reign wasn’t going to last long. Because again, I’ve been watching this WWE show for who knows how long that, with a few bits of information here and there, you knew that this wasn’t going to last longer than the next episode of RAW, from Chicago, home of Crap Modulation Punk. Oh noes, Cody’s getting another title shot next week… on RAW? Seriously? You’re actually buying that shit?
Even the crowd in Chicago knew what was coming… and they enjoyed it. Nobody ruined their fun when they knew what’s coming. They were looking forward to it. They were happy to see it. And now we can get that teased Punk vs. Cody match at… what, Summerslam? Possibly? Maybe? More than likely? Are we a fan of this or not?
I’m not entirely sold on it… but then again, WWE hasn’t really been doing it for me as of late. I’ll watch some other stuff from other people. I’ve watched a bit of AEW, actually enjoyed the Darby run while it lasted in May and even got to see the Double Or Nothing PPV at a friend’s place. Quite enjoyed that one… but now we’ve got… what? Willy and Money at All In… but first we have this World title situation that’s murky at best (I’m writing this before Dynamite happens) and there’s another PPV… in Montreal, no less… that I’m not going to because I’ve got other plans… would’ve been nice.
Anyway, this is stuff that I’ve somewhat discussed in my recent Bite commentary that was posted last week – again, you can read that here if you’d like – and this post was really about the pundits, fans, and whoevers overthinking this Sami thing when the most obvious path was staring you right in the face, laughing at you like a bunch of silly people ruining the show for yourselves when you could have been a fan or fucked off… the sort of thing McSon-In-Law wants you to do.
Well, good news for HHH. I did indeed fucked off. I did not watch your show in months. I only saw clips and read online recaps… and I figured your shit out before everyone else. Not because I’m a genius, but because I’ve seen enough of this company for decades that I have a pretty good idea on what comes next.
Sure enough, here we are.
So yeah… it seems like we’re finally getting around to seeing Punk and Cody square off for the title. And you know what? Good on Punk that he gets a WWE title run with a proper championship belt and not John Cena’s stupid fucking spinner belt. I’m glad that he’s getting THAT much if nothing else. Now whether Punk ends up getting dropping the belt to Cody or continues onwards as champion… I’ve got a feeling on the matter, but I’m not gonna ruin it for you.
You really want to know?
Oh, okay.
So what happens is…
And that’s your Summerslam main event.
Enjoy the show, everyone.
Later.
