From Deadline.com is an article reporting that Atari Inc. has inked a deal with Universal Pictures to develop ten of their classic video game properties into theatrical motion pictures, with the first project being a screenplay by Matt Reilly and Carl Hampe, to be produced by Entertainment 360… they don’t specific what particular IP this is adapting, but according to the article, Universal has the rights to make movies based on the following Atari properties.
Get a load of this, folks. We’ve got ASTEROIDS… we’ve got ADVENTURE… we’ve got BERZERK… we’ve got BREAKOUT… CENTIPEDE… CRYSTAL CASTLES; I can see a possible Bentley Bear franchise if that ends up being a winner… MILLIPEDE, so we already know Centipde might get a sequel… MISSILE COMMAND, which, yeah, I could see a movie out of that… PONG… yes, PONG is getting a movie… and finally YARS’ REVENGE, which might be the only one that has some basis for a possible feature film.
Now the rest of it, though… yeah, I question why things like GRAN TURISMO or CALL OF DUTY are getting movie adaptations, but at least, those are recent gaming properties that people are widely familiar with and are still being played today. But when someone tells me that they’re going to make a movie about PONG, which is just two lines and a dot bouncing around the screen… this is CollegeHumor-levels of parody we’re dealing with here.
But here’s the thing, though; is there any real, genuine interest from the movie-going audience in seeing movies based on very old, very ancient Atari arcade titles? And most of all, how do you make movies based on these things and make them interesting? These are old arcade titles with the barest minimum of substance. How do you make a movie about blasting asteroids? How do you make a movie about BREAKOUT? BERZERK… I don’t know, maybe… MISSILE COMMAND might have something to it… ADVENTURE is just fill in the blanks… YARS REVENGE has something there… but explain to me how you make a movie about PONG?
And then explain to me why anyone would want to make movies about these games, let alone watch them… and I’m not asking that in any dismissive fashion, as if to say, “Who the fuck is gonna watch this shit?” I’m genuinely curious as to why anyone believes that people would want to see movies based on these very old and simplistic Atari games that, outside of those few who still play these old Atari games… is there an audience out there that is absolutely clamoring for an Atari cinematic universe to come along and exist among all the other IPs being farmed for content fodder that is going to get a bit of a buzz, get released, and then quickly forgotten about to make way for the next big thing.
I mean, if you’re an old-school Atari fan and you’re excited about this news, I’m curious as to why… because as someone who grew up playing Atari and still plays Atari in some fashion, I have no interest in these potential films whatsoever… but then again, I must be missing something because apparently, there is an interest in making these arcade titles into movies.
So… I don’t know… we’ll see how this develops and who knows? Maybe that first movie gives us a good first impression and maybe grabs some eyeballs. And hey, if they produce a trailer worth a damn that sells me on whatever they’re doing, I’ll give it a shot… on streaming, of course. I haven’t had the urge to watch a movie in theaters since Superman.
