Twenty years ago – June, 6th, 2006… or 06-06-06 as the cool kids called it – I posted the 50th edition of the original Bite commentary series.
It was the first commentary post that I did since the series sort of went on a silent hiatus in 2004. Most of the post was reminiscing about the very first commentary that was posted in 2002 – June 23rd… we’ll wait until next year to post a special on that piece of business next year… assuming we make it that far, of course.
Twenty years ago, I mostly talked about my misgivings of an extreme television show from that company in Stamford on the SciFi channel… and I’m sure we know how that turned out. There was also some murmurings about a fanfic project that never happened as well as some brief thoughts on what was, at the time, the current trend of Power Rangers, which would have been SPD and Mystic Force. Twenty years later, that extreme television program is no longer a thing, Power Rangers’ original production came to an end at the dawn of its 30th anniversary, and I’m repurposing old material for the current blog.
A lot has changed over the course of these past two decades. Some of it for better, some of it for worse, and then there’s that chunk in the middle that’s sort of day to day. Sometimes, I’m in a good mood and I’m fine with these things changing. Other times, I’m grumpy and hate change. The one constant is that I’m twenty years older now that when I did that return Bite commentary, which was a couple months shy of my 25th birthday.
Cut to today and I’m a couple months shy of my 45th.
In some ways, life is better. In others, not so much. The one constant in this regard is that I often find myself in a dark place that seemingly has no escape. Twenty years ago, I got my first job at a print shop. A dream gig whose time turned out to be all too brief, but during those years, I can confidently say that things hadn’t been so dour. And then the initial Crohn’s diagnosis came along. A few months after that, I got laid off and for months, I’m back in that dark place… perhaps not quite as dark as it was back in 2002-03 when I was seriously considering ending it all, but enough that I wasn’t quite at ease.
Part of that was I started doing the Youtube thing. That became something that kept my mind off things when I needed it. Nailed a couple hot things here and there, but decided that having to go after trends or whatever the case may be might not have been the best idea and I wasn’t really feeling it. So I just stuck with stuff I enjoyed doing. Obviously, the video reviews endure to this day and I can safely say that I’m doing my best stuff nowadays as opposed to early on. I’m experimenting with a couple other bits and bobs along the way. Not a profit center or anything – no expectations on that count – but it’s something that keeps me from straying into too dark a place. Rambling about things I dislike (but not so much that it ruins my life) is almost cathodic, but not as much as talking about stuff I enjoy.
Even so, there would be those moments of weakness when my mind would stray and I would think about whether I’m really where I ought to be at this stage in life. Am I really content with what I have? Any regrets? Granted, I’ll always have those, but I try not to think about it too much. Can’t afford to… but given the state of world affairs right now, it’s hard not to find one’s self in a dark place when that darkness threatens to loom all around.
I don’t know… maybe one of these days, I’ll find answers to questions that I haven’t asked, but would like answers to. Whether that happens soon or in a couple months… who knows?
I’ll see about doing another Bite commentary next month… hopefully on a much happier note. And then maybe a birthday one in August… no promises on whether that’s happy or not.
dtm666 