WWE Fastlane 2016

WWE Fastlane was such much see TV for me that I completely forgot about it the weekend it took place. It just felt like a show that was there for the sake of filling a PPV slot in a model of execution and presentation that WWE claims to be obsolete, even in the face of PPVs featuring big-time fights proving otherwise. But, seriously, what’s the point of this show? Nothing ever happens, nothing here threatens the status quo, or throw an interesting curveball for the “Road To Wrestlemania” thing they like to celebrate around this time, nothing seems important; it’s just “Here’s a show with a bunch of random matches that mean fuck all. Have fun, assholes.”

So if the musings for this show is late, trust me; this show did not warrant a timely viewing or subsequent posting. In fact, this is based on a later replay of the show. Not that it really matters because… well.

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There Was A WWE Show Tonight? I Forgot…

Yeah, apparently there was a WWE show tonight and I didn’t catch it. And the funny thing was I didn’t even know about this until literally five minutes ago when a buddy called and told me about the show. I told him that I didn’t see the show, I forgot about the show, and that I was too busy playing No Mercy instead.

His reply was a solemn “You didn’t miss much.”

I guess somewhere down the line, I’ll give it a watch… but at the moment, I’m not feeling it.

Stephy Never Friendly

Trying to market Stephanie McMahon
as a friendly face is about as possible a feat to accomplish as Vincent Kennedy McMahon learning to control his sneezes.

It’s never going to happen.

Every time I see her “smile”, it always seems forced and disingenuous, as if she’s allergic to the very concept of smiling and being friendly.

Best of luck to the PR firm they hired to pull off this task, but they might have better luck keeping the sun from setting.

My comment on the news that a PR firm was hired to give Nipple H a friendly image, as mentioned here.

Thanks For The Memories, Bryan…

With word that Daniel Bryan Danielson is retiring, I offer two videos for viewing in celebration of an amazing career.

First up, my montage video of Bryan kicking John Cena’s head in. It remains my most viewed video (and almost immediately nailed for Content ID, thus assuring I wouldn’t be doing these often.

An old match from 2007, future WWE World champion Daniel Bryan Danielson takes on future NXT champion Prince Devitt a.k.a. Finn Balor in a tournament match for the then-vacant NWA World Heavyweight Championship that would eventually be won by future WWE trainer Adam Pearce.

Thanks for the memories, Bryan. Thanks for the memories and thanks for the last genuine feelgood moment in WWE.

About Shatner Not Being In The Next Trek

For those bitching about the lack of Shatner in Star Trek Beyond, my feelings can summed up in this familiar yet cliched picture:

Yeah, is this what Trekkies are going to obsess over every time there’s a new Trek movie coming out? I swear this is like a tradition for people to bitch and moan about Shatner not being in the latest Trek movie that takes place in a completely different reality from the prime films and thus there is no viable reason to shove Shatner in there. In fact, I’m pretty certain that the instant we start getting details on the upcoming Star Trek show, people are gonna starting asking about when Shatner is gonna show up.

Look, you want Shatner in a new Trek movie? I’ve got the perfect idea.

Seeing as Beyond is aping Trek 3 in destroying the Enterprise (groan), I would suggest that Trek 4 is about Kirk and Spock looking for humpback whales. And if we eventually get a Trek 5, Kirk can ask what God needs with a starship and then Shatner shows up to provide the answer. There’s your Shatner cameo. You’re welcome.

Now fuck off and get me my coffee.

And let the movie stand on its own… for once.