Category: Wrestling Musings

Some guy posted the following on Twitter, which was re-twitted by John Cena himself.

“I hope [John Cena] is dead and in the ground so I can not hate wrestling. Plane crash or car is fine with me. Or murder.

Wow… just wow.

And no, smartass. I’m not the guy who twitted that. I don’t have Twitter to begin with.

Look, I’m not the biggest John Cena fan in the world in regards to his character and his wrestling ability… and I don’t particularly care for his films, either (I kinda liked 12 Rounds, though)… but I’d never want to wish the guy dead. Why would I? What the fuck would that accomplish?

I hear Cena’s a great guy in real life. He makes the Make-A-Wish kids happy. And when he isn’t playing a caricature on TV, he seems like a pretty cool guy to hang with.

Seriously? You want a guy like that dead?

Now I hear the guy who posted that twit is getting a backlash. Thus is the power of CeNation, folks. Don’t fuck with them.

The old twit and sportsman of the year Hulk Hogan decided to shoot some Twits on Edge’s Retirement, proving how so out of touch he is with reality;

“if any of the guys like me,Flair,Hardy,Andre,AA,Blanchard,orndoff,Henning would have listened to doctors we would have quit15yrsago. but I don’t know Edges working environment because they are a media company not a wrestling company. HH”

Which only proves that Edge is smarter than the bunch of you. He may love the business, but has the sense to know when it’s time to step aside and focus on his health. Not many people are smart enough to take that into consideration.

“wrestlers work hurt! What about Foley! I bet EDGE still wants to keep wrestling,he’s one of the boys big time!!! HH”

So I guess TNA is offering Edge a contract now?

No more flash photography…

No more live sex shows…

No more missions against all things stupid…

To a guy who lived the dream… thanks for the memories, dude.

You shall be missed…

For about nine years…

Quick and simple notes, thoughts, and picks for Wrestlemania 27… let’s not waste time.

United States Championship
Sheamus (c) vs. Daniel Bryan

You know? Sheamus won the title a couple weeks ago… and I doubt they’d be in any hurry to have him drop the belt back to Bryan. Even so, this should be a good match in a series of them should they move forward with such a series on the house show circuit. And certainly, Daniel Bryan has a better chance of pulling a good match out of Sheamus than HHH ever did.

Pick: Sheamus
Winner: THIS MATCH NEVER HAPPENED ON PPV! GODDAMMIT!

Kane, Big Show, Santino Marella, Vladimir Kozlov Coffee Kingston VS. The Corre (a.k.a. Da OLD Nexus)

A eight-man affair? Sign me up. For the most part, this could very well be a decent little time-waster. And while part of me is saddened that Nash won’t be part of the match – there’s a bit of intrigue on the potential of OLD Diesel and NEW Diesel on the same team – it still has potential to be an entertaining affair… as long as Big Show “Falcon Punches” everyone in the ring. But that’s not going to happen, so I say the Corre picks up the win.

Pick: The Corre
Winner: Big Show’s team. Match was too short for anything to happen. (0-1)

Rey Mysterio VS. Dashing Cody Rhodes

Rey Mysterio is winding down, it seems. And from what I’ve seen of Dashing Cody Rhodes, he has the stuff to do big things in the future. For all intents and purposes, the Dashing One should win here.

Pick: Rhodes
Winner: Rhodes (1-1)

Snooki and two other people who don’t matter VS. Four Other People Who Don’t Matter

Some people might have an issue with celebrity involvement in a wrestling match. I’ve no such issues – past instances such as Mr. T’s involvement in the main event of the original ‘Mania as well as the much-hyped Lawrence Taylor-Bam Bam Bigelow have produced memorable moments and with a more lax frame of mind are thoroughly enjoyable and entertaining. The issue I have is with Snooki – I don’t give a rat’s ass about Snooki. My only hope in this match is that she gets knocked out and the real professionals in this match will do the actual work. But, seriously, we all know who’s winning here. And it ain’t Hog Splash.

Pick: Snooki wins. Everybody else loses.
Pick: Snooki wins… piss break for me. (2-1)

Randy Orton Vs. CM Punk

Another match that could end up really being good if given enough time. In all honesty, these two going at it on their own without the baggage of the ultimately ineffective Nexus (NEW or OLD – It Doesn’t Matter) will make for an interesting match. I am particularly pleased that during the build to this match, Punk brought up the beating he received from Legacy a couple years back that cost him the World Title, so there’s a sense of history behind the battle and not just two guys being stuck together for the sake of it. Despite Punk’s fake legit reasoning behind his RKOnslaught and despite Punk being my guy, I gotta go with Orton on this one…

Pick: Randy Orton
Winner: Randy Orton. Match was alright, actually. (3-1)

Michael Cole (w/ Jack Swagger) Vs. Jerry Lawler
Special Referee: Stone Cold Steve Austin

The end result is going to be obvious; Lawler wins. However, while the end result might be a tad obvious, what cannot be denied is that the promo work and build-up in the past few weeks have been nothing short of excellent and I am actually looking forward to a match that would otherwise serve as a quick piss break. Some people have compared Lawler’s feud with Cole to be similar to that of his feud with the late Andy Kaufman (who deserves a spot in WWE’s HOF… moreso than Drew Carey) and it’s not hard to see the parallels – although I have yet to see Cole compete in matches against women… er, excuse me, Divas and crown himself Intergender Champion. In any case, I’d like Cole to get a pounding so that he’ll be off the mic for a good long while.

Pick: Lawler
Winner: Cole. Lawler originally won via submission until the RAW GM DQ’ed Lawler due to interference from Stone Cold. The match itself was boring and a bit of a letdown. (3-2)

No Holds Barred
Triple H vs. Undertaker

Taker wins. Any exposition regarding this match is a waste of time. And the fact that their previous Wrestlemania encounter a decade ago is getting the same treatment as Chris Benoit these days does very little to make me care about what happens here. Okay, I’m stretching it a bit. I wouldn’t have cared either way.

Pick: Taker
Winner: Taker (4-2)

World Heavyweight Championship Match
Edge (c) vs. Alberto Del Rio

Del Rio wins.

Pick: Del Rio wins.
Winner: Edge retains… am rather surprised that this would be the opening match, but whatever. It was okay. (4-3)

WWE Championship
Miz (c) vs. John Cena

Cena wins.

Pick: Cena wins.
Winner: Miz retains after Rock Rock-Bottoms Cena… wait, CENA LOST?! CENA LOST?!!

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Miz retains… (4-4)

The show, as a whole, wasn’t all that great… but Cena lost, so I’m happy. And at the very least, the main event lasted longer than TNA’s last fucking PPV.

Later.