This PPV musings is brought to you by Pat MacAfee… who is unrelated to the AntiVirus Software brand… which is also quite dreadful, if I’m being honest.
So for those who missed the AEW Dynasty musings this past Thursday, I mentioned that my buddy supplied me with DVD recordings of last weekend’s PPV offerings for me to watch and possibly do musings on. I dug Dynasty quite a bit, enough that I planned on watching Dynamite and actually have it playing in the background as I’m typing this Rebellion musings.
I’ve heard horrid things about this TNA show, though to be honest with you, with the exception of one or two matches, I didn’t think this was all that bad… but let’s dive in for a bit.
Kazarian defeated Elijah via low blow and roll-up in the opening match. For those who haven’t been keeping up with TNA, Elijah is the former Elias of WWE fame… the grifter who plays the guitar. These two had been feuding for a while now and apparently, the feud is going to continue (or not, I don’t know – I don’t keep up other than occasionally with online reports. Which is probably for the best all things considered.) Would I have enjoyed the match more if I had been following the show? I don’t know, maybe… but as it is, I thought it was fine. Both wrestlers looked solid. Nothing to complain about.
Special Agent Zero of Order 4 (who is also known as “Big Time” Bill Collier in other places) defeated MOOSE. There’s outside interference that results in Alisha getting hurt during a bit (allegedly)… she’s Eddie Edwards’ wife, by the way… the same Eddie Edwards who is challenging for the World title on this show… wonder how that works? Anyway, MOOSE was trying to get Alisha out of the fray, but Zero caught him and finished him with a chokebomb for the win. Pure, fun brawl between two big dudes with the sprinkling of run-ins to irritate me a bit. Alisha apparently hurt her ankle and can’t accompany Eddie to his match later… allegedly… sure, pal. Whatever you say. Yep.
Elegance Brand (Ash/Heather/I forget the other one) defeated the team of ODB/Mickie James/Taryn Terrell in a Hardcore Country match, which means plenty of weapons, run-ins, and some guy in a pickle suit that distracts ODB so that she can get triple teamed and pinned. The whole idea behind booking a hardcore match is to hide the limitations of the talents by having them just hit each other with weapons and hope something can be salvaged out of this whole deal. What I got was a bunch of hay, a pair of tongs, and a guy in a pickle suit. You know there was a big online controversy when Mickie James posted a picture of a couple garbage bags that contained her gear sent by WWE, as if to say that her legacy in that brand amounted to being tossed aside like yesterday’s trash. That had to be a real humbling experience until she got a hosting gig that was eventually taken over by Michelle McCool… and even that is nowhere near as bad as this. I can’t blame the ladies for this one; part of me wants to believe that they tried to get something watchable. They failed, but they tried.
So ODB gets pinned by the three Elegance girls to end this dumpster fire of a match, which brings out Tommy Dreamer and resident TKO clown posing as a TNA president Carlos Silva… no doubt full of brilliant ideas like pulling talent from advertised indy events that happen to involve AEW talent with notifying any of the promoters… and here’s another one. ODB lost the match and then these two jabronies show up to tell her that she’s going to the TNA Hall Of Fame. A lot has been said about this, but I’ll say it anyway; of all the times you could have chosen to make this announcement, you chose THIS? Just after she ate a pin in a fucking terrible match?
Cue the face… yeah, you know the one…
Nic Nemeth defeated AJ Francis in a pretty good palette cleanser to wash the taste of that last match out of my mouth – despite the run-ins from a couple people. Crddit where it’s due; I feel like AJ Francis has improved considerably since the last time I saw him. While I wouldn’t call him a top-tier worker by any means, he does seem like a more imposing big man than that guy who used to host that Discovery show and tried a top-rope thing that turned into a meme. And of course, Nemeth always delivers the goods even when he’s not trying.
Knockouts champion Ariana Grace defeated Lei Ying Lee… the former Xia Li and I wish she had gone with her real name of Xia Zhao for no other reason than it’s easier to not get mixed up than Lei Ying Lee… to retain the title. Lee hits her finish and goes for the pin, only for Grace’s foot to be placed on the ropes by Xia Brookside, who I guess has turned heel because the commentary sold this as some big betrayal on the part of Brookside. Brookside then beats up Lee outside before Grace finishes off with a knee for the win. This probably would have meant more if I had been following the show, but I got the jist of it and for what it was, I thought it did its job of selling the turn. If nothing else, it’s a better women’s match than the Hardcore something or other that we bore witnessed to earlier.
And then Eric Young comes out to shit on Cleveland, which brings out EC3 to make his big return to TNA so that he can beat up Eric Young for all Clevelanders out there. So after years of failed attempts at controlling narratives, running NWA territories, and even a reign with the ten pounds of gold, the former Derrick Bateman returns to TNA to cause some trouble. Personally, I’d be much happier if we got a time machine that brought Derrick Bateman to the present day and got paired up with Bryan Danielson so that Bryan can berate for thinking of nothing but “chicks and America.”
I don’t know. It might turn TNA’s fortunes around or something. Next.
Mustafa Ali defeated International champion Trey Miguel with outside interference from Ali’s Order 4 minions to win the title. Good high-flying spot fest. Kind of souring on all these run-ins, but other than that, the match was largely enjoyable fare.
And then there’s a bit where Abyss and James Mitchell make amends for past aggressions while other stuff happened, I guess. I don’t know what to make of this. Isn’t Abyss an agent in WWE? Is he making a comeback to TNA? Will James Mitchell snort some coke on the next TNA PPV? Does any of this matter in the long term?
The System (Brian Myers and Bear Bronson) defeated Tag Team Champions The Hardys to win the titles. Perfectly acceptable tag match. Nice to see Bear Bronson win a title after a whole AEW career of largely nothing… and also uncertainty after his partner there was let go due to some shady stuff… and now maybe the Hardyz can do… I don’t know… something else… maybe… eh.
TNA World Champion Mike Santana defeated Eddie Edwards to retain the title. So Alisha comes out in crutches to “provide” support for Eddie in his match against Santana, but then MOOSE comes out and plays some tape to reveal that – you’ll never believe this, kids – ALISHA WAS NEVER HURT IN THE FIRST PLACE. Meaning this was all a ruse to fool Santana into a false sense of security. I am pretty sure there is a piece to this story that I’m missing due to my not having been totally caught up, such as whether Moose and the Edwards are on the same side or not, but the point is that Eddie tried a fast one, got caught, and eventually paid the piper. Santana wins, nods his thanks towards Moose… do we get a future title match between these two? I guess you’ll have to tune in to find out.
As for the match… I don’t know, it was okay. Didn’t feel like a big time main event or anything like that. Felt like something you would see close out Impact before a big talking segment to end the show.
So that was Rebellion 2026… a largely average show with one too many run-ins and a new contender for worst women’s match of all time… although that might be pure hyperbole since I don’t think it’s as much of a disaster as Jenna vs. Sharmell or Rebel vs. Shelley. But yeah, I don’t know. This was okay. Nothing special. Could have been a TNA+ show. But they made it a PPV and it was just… meh.
Oh well… tomorrow we’ll check out this past Wednesday’s Dynamite and see if I keep watching that show or not.
dtm666 