Category: Written Reviews

COMIC REVIEW – Star Trek: The Next Generation (DC Comics, 1988 Miniseries)

Star Trek: The Next Generation debuted in 1987 and became a surprise hit. DC Comics, at the time producing a successful enough Star Trek comic book, would eventually produce a miniseries based on the new show lasting six issues. Naturally, the miniseries is non-canon to the larger Trek canon, so put down your phaser canons because this thing is BONKERS.

The Enterprise crew get into the Christmas spirit or something and they meet Santa Claus. There’s a three-issue arc featuring Q as an absolute madman, which may or may not be far off from the actual character; who the fuck knows. Honestly, I feel like whoever wrote that second season of Picard read this thing and made old Q seem like this Q… almost. Fundamentally, the comic takes a lot of liberties with the source material and I’m not quite how much material they had to work with when they put this series together. But reading this stuff now and knowing how the series (as well as the franchise as a whole) would turn out afterwards, this feels like some whacked-out fanfiction written by someone who has no idea what they’re doing. And I’m not faulting Mike Carlin on this one; it’s entirely possible he had little to work with and thus needed to fill the blanks.

I’ll give him this much; I was thoroughly entertained throughout. This, along with the artwork making all the characters appear buffer and more seemingly well-built with Herculean physiques – they had spandex spacesuits at the time, so I’m sure the art direction was a Rodenberry wet dream. But listen, you can debate the continuity snags (Stardates has you assuming this takes place in the second season, but it’s clearly based on the first since Riker has no beard and Tasha is still alive) and some of the minor nitpicks, but the one thing you can’t accuse this of is boring. For six issues, you’re getting some of the more wacky takes on Star Trek that you’re gonna get, almost right up there with the old Gold Key stuff from back in the days. Don’t come into this with high expectations and you’re going to enjoy this one immensely. Highly recommended for the lulz.

MOVIE REVIEW – Quantum Of Solace (2008)

So I recently got to see the new Bond flick last night… and I liked it.

As a direct sequel to Casino Royale, the story pretty much picks up where that one left off, with Bond wanting revenge for the death of that chick who betrayed him… um yeah, that makes sense. Didn’t he say “the bitch is dead” in the last flick? Um, never mind. Logic aside, the movie has Bond going around the world killing leads all the while trying to get a clue as to who the organization is… or something. You know what, who cares? It’s a movie with some explosions, some action, some seducing ladies to bed, and a lady drowned in oil… because apparently Goldfinger isn’t available to supply gold paint… or whatever.

Despite my snarky comments, I really enjoyed the flick as a sequel. Is it as good as Casino? Probably not… I thought there were a couple of problems with the movie that kept it down a notch. For one thing, the final moments of the film pass by so quickly that you’re left somewhat unsatisfied… and there’re still some unanswered questions that they most likely will resolve in the next film… I know, it’s shameful.

Overall, it’s a good movie and I recommend it.

DVD Review – The Adventures Of Super Mario Bros. 3 Complete Series (2007)

Yeah, this was a thing I stumbled across somehow once upon a time; a 3-DVD set compiling the entire Adventures Of Super Mario Bros. 3 series, which was basically a continuation of sorts of the old Super Mario Bros. Super Show, but without the live action bits and with an almost entirely new voice-cast, save for Harvey Atkin, who still does a solid King Koopa.

Sadly, the ol’ King of the Koopa has been sullied with his annoying, obnoxious kids whose names have been changed from the games to more… weird names that may have been drawn out of a hat. I don’t know why they changed the names; maybe the original names were too “on point.”

(Fun fact: the original Koopa Kids were play on pre-existing people. Morton Koopa Jr, for example, named after shock jock host Morton Downey Jr… which might explain the needless name change.)

The rest of the new voices are alright. I thought the guy who voiced Mario was pretty good, but Lou Albano was the more “iconic” voice. You folks can keep your Charles Martinet for all I care. Captain Lou is mah Mario.

(Fun Fact: The guy who voiced Mario in this and the Mario world cartoon is Walker Boone, whom I later found out had played Leland T. Lynch, one of a billion chief engineers on the Enterprise in the Star Trek: The Next Generation first season episode, “Skin Of Evil.” Yes, the man who voices Mario was the chief engineer on the episode where Denise Crosby’s Lt. Tasha Yar was killed off by a tar monster. The more you know, I guess.)

Mario went from being voiced by Captain Lou to Enterprise-D chief engineer #213,829 before Geordi LaForge took the job on a permanent basis. Mama-mia!  That’s a hell of a vocal resume!

Of the three Super Mario cartoons back in the day, this was the one I was least familiar with because I missed out on this one completely during my younger years. So this was a chance to finally catch what I was missing out on… which turned out to be not so much. Unlike the previous Super Show but much like the later Mario World cartoon, SMB3 stays true to the game it’s based on and doesn’t try to go for parodies of popular movies and such. The problem is that the show itself isn’t all that interesting otherwise. The episodes are your typical kids fare; there’s a minor problem that needs to be solved, our heroes need to solve it, and there’s a musical number that plays at some point. The songs have aged poorly and some of them seem to have been replaced with some bad generic rock tune of sorts.

The series is contained across two discs, with the third disc reserved for what the box calls the series bible, which has you navigating a bunch of things. It’s a bit of a fluff piece and anyone wanting something deeper is probably not going to find it here, but it’s better than nothing, I suppose, and considering the cheap price, it’s more than I would’ve expected out of a set like this.

For those wanting a piece of their childhood, this is worth it for the nostalgic value. I don’t know if it’s aged particularly well and the DVD set itself isn’t all that impressive, but it was fairly cheap, so I’d say go for it.

COMIC REVIEW – The Punisher Kills The Marvel Universe (1995 One-Shot)

In 1995, Garth Ennis wrote a Punisher comic that saw Frank Castle’s family killed during a battle between the usual Marvel superheroes and an invading alien force. After the superheroes show no remorse for their actions and offer a pitiful apology, Castle goes ape shit and kills a few before he is arrested, taken to jail, broken out of fail, and offered a shitload of weapons and tech to kill all the heroes, becoming the same ol’ Punisher we all know, but with a decidedly different target.

Almost five years later, Ennis would pen a new Punisher mini-series that would be critically acclaimed and this one-shot would see a reprint, with a new cover by Ennis’ occasional collaborator, Steve Dillon. But I didn’t know any of this beforehand because I picked up the reprint. And so it was jarring to open up a Punisher comic by Garth Ennis and not have Steve Dillon do the art. Fortunately, Doug Braithwaite does a serviceable job, with reasonably proportioned characters and some decent looking setpieces.

And the story itself is actually quite brilliant; shifting the Punisher’s war on crime to that of a war on superhumans and basically telling the story of a man who won’t stop until all these heroes (and villains) are dead. If nothing else, some of the kills are pretty creative and the way the comic comes to its conclusion makes sense.

For what is essentially a glorified What If, The Punisher Kills The Marvel Universe is a pretty entertaining read if you just want a bonkers comic. Recommended.

BOOK REVIEW – Star Trek: Prime Directive (1990)

Prime Directive refers to Starfleet General Order One, the single most important directive that prohibits Starfleet officers from interfering in the natural evolution of a species, especially those of a lesser technological stage. Countless stories have been told throughout the forty-two years of Star Trek that tackles the Prime Directive in some form or other. Perhaps one of the strongest stories – if not THE strongest story – to explore the Prime Directive and the ramifications of its violation comes in the form of the eponymous 1990 novel from the husband-wife writing team of Judith and Garfield Reeves-Stevens.

Simply put, the U.S.S. Enterprise is charged with the observation of a pre-warp civilization, something goes horrifically wrong, and Captain Kirk is charged with violating the Prime Directive and forced out of the service. So now the book is all about Kirk and his crew trying to figure out what really happened and hopefully clear his name. Now, of course, by the time we reach the end of the book, the status quo will have been restored; this is a Star Trek novel that isn’t going to affect the canon in any way. So you’re left with the journey of how our main characters are going to resolve the situation that they were placed in.

Prime Directive is one of those classic Trek novels that still holds its weight and does a far better job of tackling the consequences of violating Starfleet’s most sacred law than any other form of Trek media to date. It is a book that introduces massive stakes, presents our heroes with a seemingly impossible situation, and the road to its resolution and the return to their usual roles is depicted with enough interesting twists and turns that won’t keep you second guessing, but it will keep you engaged. Most importantly, all the characters are true to their depictions. There’s never a moment where you won’t be going “That’s not how so-so is supposed to act.” When it comes to capture the voices and nuances of that original crew, the Reeves-Stevens have nailed those voices to a tee in most of their outings and this one is no exception.

There are seldom few Star Trek novels from the early days that I would go back and read over and over due to the strength of the material. Prime Directive ranks up there as one of the best. Well worth a read or twenty.

BOOK REVIEW – Star Trek: The Ashes Of Eden (1995)

The Ashes Of Eden is the first Star Trek novel written by William Shatner (co-written with Judith and Garfield Reeves-Steven) and is the first book in the series of Star Trek books that would chronicle the further adventures of Captain James T. Kirk after the movies. This series would be dubbed the “Shatner-verse” and was its own self-contained series that would have no baring on official Star Trek canon or even the canon of the Star Trek novels once that became a thing.

Truth be told, I’ve only read the first couple books at most and dropped off afterwards when they started diving into mirror universe bits and bobs. That, along with the fact that these books would more or less be their own self-contained continuity with no relevance towards the larger literary universe the other Trek novels of the time were establishing, meant that others were free to skip these and do their own thing, which was probably for the best considering some of the narrative choices these things go on… but this isn’t about those later books. This is about The Ashes Of Eden, the story of a James Kirk who is unhappy with the notion of retirement that when he receives the offer of one final mission from a mysterious woman, he is more than happy to accept, even if that mission puts him at odds with an ever changing Starfleet.

Whatever you want to say about William Shatner, never let it be said that he cannot spin a good yarn. And the Ashes of Eden feels like a story written by a man who clearly struggles with the idea of being passed on and will do what he can to stay relevant and active; something that he has infused into the character that he has played for a quarter century and thus should know very well. Whatever the circumstances, the character and actions of Kirk are truly believable and consistent with what we know of him from years of on-screen adventures; a man who will not allow himself to fade into obscurity and will prove he still has something to offer to this galaxy.

Sometimes, this might come at the expense of the other characters, who may come across as either bumbling idiots or ignorant fools. The rest of the cast sometimes feels true to themselves, but some actions, you feel, are out of place and are only there to instill the strength of the central Kirk character. In essence, this is the Star Trek V scenario that Shatner envisioned of a Kirk against his crew sort of deal, except there is no Nimoy or Kelley to argue that they would never go against their captain… but apparently James Doohan was around because Scotty is the only other member of the crew by Kirk’s side during this little adventure… and dare I say, he comes off slightly better here than he did in Shatner’s film debut.

All in all, The Ashes Of Eden is a tremendous book and certainly a nice little last hurrah for Jim Kirk as only William Shatner could tell it… if only it had remained at this one book…

DVD Reviews – Police Squad (Series Set)

Before there was the Naked Gun trilogy of movies (with missing sequels and all), there was the short-lived Police Squad television series. Released back in the early eighties, Police Squad was cancelled because the networks were afraid of a show that people actually had to watch. Hearing that makes me wondering what the point of television was if you didn’t have to watch it. Maybe all those classic shows are classic because you didn’t have to watch them. It just boggles my mind.

What doesn’t boggle my mind is that Police Squad is a pretty decent show and it’s such a travesty that the show was cancelled for such stupidities on the network’s part. The show is essentially a parody of all the other cop shows of the times, making fun of the obvious cliches and gimmicks that are used in those shows. A number of these gags would eventually be recycled in the later Naked Gun flicks, but that sort of adds to the enjoyment of the show. So yeah, you do have to watch the show to appreciate what it has to offer.

Although the show only lasted six episodes, it’s still a good way to kill three hours. Chances are if you liked the Naked Gun flicks and never got the chance to see the show that inspired it, you’ll probably like Police Squad too. The DVD extras aren’t all that special, but they’re serviceable and not necessary worthless. Recommended.

A Review Of The Yobo Factor 5 Clone System

A vintage 2008 review from the old DTM Webstation days talking about the old Yobo Factor 5 clone system. I figured that I had this laying around somewhere and here it is. Also included is a picture of said console. Suffice it to say; the console isn’t around any more.

Yobo’s Factor 5 is considered to be a follow-up to the FC Game Console, their previous NES clone effort. Not much has been said about the Factor 5, except for the fact that it includes a special cart with five additional games and also includes a light gun which looks like a real pistol, except it rattles and doesn’t work… well, at least mine doesn’t, but no matter. Deciding to be brave (and also because I had twenty dollars to waste on frivolous purchases), I picked one up and thus am only the second person to review this console (the first was Video Games Central, a gaming store). A week after playing the console, I have it tucked away in a drawer as an afterthought.

THE GOOD: The one thing noticeable about the Factor 5 is how small and light the whole thing is. Chances are it might even be smaller than Yobo’s FC Game Console release, but I can’t say for sure. Other than that, it has a nice little design that makes it a little more aesthetically pleasing than the the FC Console’s plain box design, even if the color scheme is almost embarrassing. What I do like about the Factor 5 are the controllers. Quite simply, they seem a little fragile (and probably are), but these are some comfortable controllers and fairly responsive as well. While I don’t care for the button layout, it works at least and the turbo buttons are within reach if you need them, so good stuff there. There’s also a slow button, but any gamer worth their salt knows that slow buttons are almost always useless. Besides that, not too shabby. Of course, you could always use original NES controllers if you’d like… a good thing for those with functional Zappers.

THE BAD: For some reason or another, the included cartridge doesn’t seem to work – always a good sign when the included cartridge designed specifically for the console doesn’t even work. It could be my copy not functioning, as I’ve seen a video demonstrating the five games themselves – fairly generic looking things as far as I could tell – so we’ll let it pass. As for the console itself, to quote a funny YouTube doctor from the UK, it feels light, cheap, and plasticky. It almost seems like the whole thing was stuck together with some hot glue and you get the feeling that it’s going to snap at any minute every time you pull out the cartridge. I’m not joking either; people tend complain about how hard it is to pull out NES games from the FC Twin’s slot, but I never had a problem with it and once you find the right way of doing it, it’s not much of a hassle. But this seems to take the effort of three Supermen to remove the bloody cartridge and the whole thing feels really fragile. A quick look inside the machine through the cartridge slot (and thus requiring no real effort to pull the thing apart) shows that there’s nothing in it: just a connector and some strips for external connections such as controller ports or A/V slots. Nothing more, nothing less. Everything looks glued together. Again, always a good sign.

So the hardware itself… basically, it’s a NES-on-a-chip. Specifically the older model with imperfect sound emulation and extremely bright colors. It seems that for whatever reason, Yobo decided not to utilize the updated NOAC model featured on the FC Twin (the one with near-perfect sound emulation) and utilize the old one from their previous clone console. Another pet peeve is wire length; much like the FC Twin, the included controllers and AC adaptor have notoriously short wires, so have a couple extension cords handy and try searching for authentic controllers especially if you want to sit as far away from your TV screen as possible.

OVERALL: Generally speaking, there’s a good reason there hasn’t been any word on the Factor 5 console. Anyone expecting to find an updated version of Yobo’s FC Console will be sorely disappointed, as it is simply the same inferior NOAC technology only with a new name and fancier look. Unlike the FC Twin console which has been known to update its NOAC incrementally as later models are built, the plain vanilla Yobo FC hasn’t changed much. On the one hand, you can nab it for a cheap price, use vintage NES controllers – something you couldn’t do on the Twin or even the Retro Duo without some fancy work – and even comes with a cartridge full of games (if you can get the damn thing to work). On the other hand, the sound emulation is pretty poor, the colors are somewhat brighter or a bit off, and removing the cartridges are a chore and a half.

Having said that and having spent half the review bitching about the console’s flaws, the Factor 5 is a good purchase if you can find it real cheap and it’s enough to hold you over until you can find good working hardware, but if you already have an NES clone, a 2-in-1 system like the Twin or Duo, or even a genuine NES system that still works, then you don’t need this… unless you REALLY want the bonus cartridge and hope you get a copy that actually works.

BOOK REVIEW – The Wrestlecrap Book Of Lists (2007)

It’s safe to say that I’ve been a fan of the Wrestlecrap website for many years now. The long running website maintained by RD Reynolds, which spotlights many of the ridiculous, stupid, and just plain bad moments in wrestling lore (within comedic context) has always brought a smile to my face upon every entry. So much so that when RD produced his first book, I happily purchased it. Same goes for his follow-up book, The Death Of WCW; also written by Bryan Alvarez of Figure Four Weekly fame.

So long story short, I’ve recently managed to snag a copy of RD Reynolds’ latest tome; a compilation of lists and focusing mostly on the Wrestlecrap side of things. And I can honestly say that the third time’s a charm as he (along with fellow cohort Blade Braxton) has managed to produce a decidedly funny and interesting book with lots of lists in it.

Not to say that his earlier works were crap (the first book was a good sampler of the website, the second book was also a good read on a morbid subject matter), but I felt like this was a book that was more suited to the Wrestlecrap genre. Many of the lists were genuinely funny and include stuff that you never knew had actually happened. But do you know why this book is great? They actually show off the Katie Vick outfit that they had bought through WWE’s website… If you don’t know what I’m talking about, it’s probably for the best.

This isn’t a book that pokes fun at wrestling’s lesser or failed gimmicks with any sense of maliciousness, but rather, it’s a celebration of said gimmicks, whether it’s the stuff that we didn’t think sucked back then or whether it’s the stuff that we always knew was kind of shit. All in all, this was a pretty good read that’s well worth checking out.

DVD Review – The Legacy of Stone Cold Steve Austin (3-Disc Set)

Because we needed another Austin retrospective set…

The Legacy Of Stone Cold Steve Austin is a 3-disc DVD set (also available on Blu-Ray) that once again spotlights one of the biggest names in WWE, but this one is different because it’s mostly a compilation of matches with some occasional interview bits from Steve Austin himself. So it’s less a documentary and more a collection of some of Austin’s best matches. Not only his WWF stuff, but also some of his WCW and ECW stuff.

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