Category: Musings

Oh Shat(ner)

Apparently the campaign to get Shatner on Abrams’ Trek flick continue as the former “Kirk” is whoring himself out in an attempt to get someone to convince Abrams to stick the Shat in there. And… the talks over at Trekweb are amusing as hell, with the Shat-fans saying that Nimoy betrayed his best friend or some other bullshit…

Doesn’t Shatner already have a TV show he’s doing right now? Shouldn’t he just stick with that? His days as Kirk are long gone and no amount of makeup or toupees is going to bring him back to form just for a useless cameo. Would it be cool to see Kirk back in action? Sure… when a younger guy plays him. If Shatner doesn’t fit into the equation, there should be no reason why he ought to.

Maybe it’s because I was born in the eighties when Trek movies were starting to come out, so I don’t have the same time of love for Kirk. Yes, I do believe he defined Trek. He’s a cultural icon that Shatner has molded into his own. That much cannot be taken away. However, the man is way past his prime as far as that role goes and it’s time for the mantle to be assumed by someone else.

Would it be nice to see Shatner in a Trek movie?

Sure… as the Enterprise chef.

Anchorwoman Axed After One Episode… Sort Of

Now this is a story that is truly worth of a WTF moniker.

In a record-breaking cancellation move, FOX (famous for cancelling shows within a couple episodes) has cancelled the latest comedy-reality series Anchorwoman, featuring a former WWE Diva’s attempts to become a TV news reporter. Some people say the show was so bad it had to be cancelled after the first episode aired. I disagree because when I read the show got cancelled, my first thought was “Wait a minute. The show’s cancelled? I didn’t even know it aired!”

So, this is news that came across some wrestling news site somewhere because coincidentally that’s the only place you could find this sort of hard-hitting information that you apparently never knew you needed… except you really didn’t. This was a show that I’ve heard nothing – and I mean NOTHING about – frequently other sites of non-wrestling media, nor did I ever recall seeing any ads for. Is it the sort of the show that even FOX is embarrassed to allow even a full season run?

The world may never know… save for the few sad folks who somehow caught this on air.

POSTSCRIPT (2023)
Greetings from the future… today! Doing a bit of digging during the process and it turns out that while Anchorwoman was indeed cancelled after its premiere on FOX, it was NOT after one episode. As a matter of fact, the premiere featured the first two episodes aired back-to-back. So in truth, Anchorwoman was axed after two episodes that aired on one night. It was made available for a time on the FOX website – including a number of episodes that never made air – before being taken down and promptly forgotten about.

The TNA in TNA Wrestling stands for “Transparent Numbingly Awful”booking

So last night, at TNA’s Hard Justice PPV, TNA World champion Kurt Angle defeated X-Division/Tag Team champ Samoa Joe to win all the TNA Titles. This happened due to Angle’s wife pulling a swerve on Joe that was so predictable you had to be a total idiot not to see it coming.

What happened to being the wrestling alternative? The thing that was DIFFERENT from WWE, not copying the same bullshit. Instead, we’ve got a bunch of stupid storylines for the sake of being stupid. WWE’s storylines tend to be pretty moronic as well, but at least they end up producing entertaining matches even at the expense of young, fresh talent. Instead, TNA is slowly becoming a second coming of WCW. I mean, it absolutely boggles the mind how progressively bad they’re becoming.

All that talent and they have to push this shit down our throats? That’s just sad.

Then I watch their TNA Today Youtube show which took place at the tail end of their shitty PPV and you have Mike Tenay and Don West complimenting Kurt Angle on his wonderful swerve, suckering everyone into almost feeling sorry for you. Congratulations, guys. I never thought it possible, but you’ve won idiots of the year award… and the year’s not even over yet!

No wonder – Mike Tenay isn’t wearing his signature bow tie. Probably got released from its contractual obligations.

(2024 Update: I got around to watching this show recently. You can check my thoughts here.)

Give It A Rest, Guys.

I find it absolutely amazing that a couple years after Enterprise is canceled, co-creator and writer Brannon Braga is still getting flak from Trekkies over the direction of the series and some of his episodes.

Now Braga admits that he has regretted somethings that have come to pass, but that doesn’t change anything. And you know what? He’s right. Regardless of whether he regrets something or not, it doesn’t mean a damn thing. It doesn’t change a damn thing.

So do me and everyone else a huge favor and give it a rest, guys. Enterprise is dead and buried. It is not coming back. The guy’s moved on to other projects and so has everybody else. Leave him alone.

Good lord, can’t we be happy that somebody else is working on a new Star Trek movie? I, for one, am looking forward to someone else’s take on someone else’s property.

Now fetch me my tea… Earl Grey… hot.

An Interesting Quote From Bob Hoskins

Found this interview with actor Bob Hoskins (the detective guy from Roger Rabbit) that seems like a decent enough read. Why would I care about this story? Because of this timeless gem:

“The worst thing I ever did? Super Mario Brothers. It was a fuckin’ nightmare. The whole experience was a nightmare. It had a husband-and-wife team directing, whose arrogance had been mistaken for talent. After so many weeks their own agent told them to get off the set! Fuckin’ nightmare. Fuckin’ idiots.”

Amen, brutha. Amen.

RAW Woes: A Word On The Recent Ratings

If you’ve been following some of the wrestling sites, you’ll know that the last episode of RAW has scored its lowest rating in nearly TEN years. This is obviously bad news for WWE and USA Network, who are trying as hard as possible to come up with something to regain interest in the program.

Unfortunately, with the recent wrestling-related tradegy from back in June, it seems that any attempt to regain interest will be useless. I generally don’t like blaming outside forces for low ratings unless it’s justified, but this tragic state of affairs is causing people to tune out and disassociate themselves with wrestling in general. It’s one of those things that can’t really be handled in any good way.

There have been some mentions of a possibility that RAW might get cut down to a one-hour show. For the moment, I feel this is the best course of action, because it’s impossible to come up with good content for two hours on a weekly basis. Let’s be honest here: as enjoyable as the product tends to be, the consistency of quality in the product is lacking. This isn’t a result of the tradegy; it’s been like this for quite some time now. By cutting the show to an hour, you have less time to fill and thus more time to refine the stuff that will make it to air.

On the other hand, WWE currently has a one-hour show on the Sci-Fi channel and it’s not doing well on either a creative or rating standpoint.

Who knows what’s going to happen?

The Spock Actor’s Reference

Contrary to an earlier blog post, you didn’t need SIX actors to portray Spock back in the 1980s. Instead, you needed NINE.

1. Leonard Nimoy – the original Spock

2. Launched Photon Torpedo – dead Spock

3. Photon Torpedo Tube – rotting Spock’s casket

4. Carl Steven – Spock at age 7

5. Vardia Potenza – Preteen Sexmate Spock at age 13

6. Stephen Manley – Teenage Spock at age 17

7. Joe W. Davis – Vulcan-Rage Spock at age 25

8. Director Nimoy – Nimoy-Spock hybrid

9. Baby – Baby Spock in Star Trek V flashback

(2019 Update: I guess you can add Ethan Peck to the list, who plays Spock in Star Trek: Discovery.)

So yeah, that’s a lot of people/things/stupidities to play one Vulcan. Wonder how many actors Tuvok has:

1. Tim Russ – Tuvok

2. A shitload of stunt doubles.

Okay, so what about the Vulcan chick on Enterprise? Well, see Tuvok but swap Tim Russ for that other chick. What was her name again? Jolene something or other… forgive me, I’m terrible with names.

(2025 Update: It’s Jolene Blalock… or just Jolene nowadays.)

So yeah, Vulcans are hard for one person to handle…

Or maybe it’s just me.

Good night.

Goodbye, Smokeranger. We Hardly Knew Ye.

Smokeranger’s Domain was the second Geocities/Yahoo account I made and yet it was the most used. The domain never got as much treatment as the WS and for a good while the account was dormant.

Why shut down the account? So that Calvin’s buddies can take a hint.

I rarely check Smokeranger’s mail but decided to do so anyway. I end up with mail from guys I hardly know concerning a marching band I’ve never heard of. Apparently a lot of people believe Smokeranger is this Calvin fellow, but I can assure that’s not the case.

I don’t know Calvin. I don’t know these people.

So rather than let people know that I’m not Calvin (because people are too stupid to let that sink in), I decided to cut my loss and kill the account.

So what becomes of the Domain? Plans are being done to integrate it as a subsite for the Webstation (I already added a quick link in case it comes to fruition). Hopefully, content won’t be too bad.

So to Calvin’s friends, Smokeranger won’t be subject to your poor judgment. And to Calvin, you can have the account in 90 days for all I care. I no longer have claim to the account, but I’ll be damned if I let you keep the site.

Enough already. I’m off to bed.

Later.

(2011 Update: Turns out Geocities is no more… site would have gone either way.)

Nimoy’s In. Shatner’s Out. Who Gives A Shat(ner)?

A recent posting on Trekweb has revealed from the mouth of William Shatner that Leonard Nimoy might be in the next Trek movie, but not the Shat. Fanboys are protesting because Shatner might not be in it and they’ll boycott the movie unless Shatner’s in it.

To all the fanboys who want them to bring back Shatner and are having a pissy fit over it, here is some sage advice once given by your hero:

GET A LIFE, will you people?!! I mean, for crying out loud, it’s just a freakin’ movie! I mean, look at you, look at the way you’re dressed! You’ve turned an enjoyable little job, that I did as a lark for a few years, into a COLOSSAL WASTE OF TIME! HEY, YOU GUYS ARE… THE LAMEST BUNCH… I’VE NEVER SEEN…

Some people will never know better.

Random Thoughts On Dragon Warrior

Pulled this one out of mothballs recently and popped it in my NES, which has a tendency of working when it feels like it. Man, this brings back so many memories. The Middle-English dialogue, the simplistic quest to save the damsel and slay the dragon, the one-on-one random encounters, and the dreaded STAIRS command.

The original Dragon Warrior (now Dragon Quest) was one of the first RPGs on the NES and it managed to be a fairly satisfying game even to a 12-year-old kid at the time who couldn’t be bothered with them long, complicated game. The menu system was fairly simple to navigate and the battle system is even simpler. There’s no worries about getting poisoned or determining which elemental power does more damage; you either attack, cast a spell, use an item, or run away. That’s all you do and that’s all you really need.

Yeah, leveling-up is a bitch because each battle nets so little experience points and the need to go back to the castle to save your game is a nuissance, but on the other hand, it’s not a bad game. It’s a test of patience, but in a good way. If you can find a copy of this game, go ahead and give it a try.