Category: Musings

Glamazon Barbie and Chain Gang Ken

WWE has apparently signed a deal with Mattel as far as toys are concerned. Meanwhile, Jakks Pacific, the company doing the WWE toys now, has signed a deal with TNA to do their toys. Just what we always needed; Barbie in a Diva Search contest. The sad thing is Barbie could very well be the most talented Diva of the bunch should she enter.

Sadly, both of these deals are expected to take affect in 2010.

(2024 Update: We took this piss out of this deal happening, but the WWE/Mattel relationship continues to be a beneficial one as of this brief update. The TNA/Jakks Pacific deal, on the other hand? Not so much. Oh well. Maybe they can fire that up again now that TNA is no longer a joke… or not. Whatever. I don’t care.)

Quick Thoughts On UFC81

You know the funny thing about hype? Chances are you’ll never live up to it.

I say this about Brock Lesnar: he had put up a good fight for a minute there, even getting a foul for a shot to the back of the head. Unfortunately, all it took was a simple little leglock from Frank Mir to put down the former WWE champion. It was a complete embarrassment of a fight and one of the reasons why I prefer watching “scripted” entertainment as opposed to a real fight.

In any event, I went past the Brock match and tried to watch the rest of the show, on which a friend of mine foolishly blew fifty bucks on and taped the event for me. Other than a few quick moments, I couldn’t really get into the show. It just seems like after watching a bunch of sports-entertainers trying to make scripted entertainment seem real for a whole bunch of years, I’d expect a real fight to even more intense, only to be sorely disappointed as I watch two grown men in their boxers swatting each other like flies with about as much ferocity as a ball of cotton. Maybe I prefer my action to be scripted.

But let’s get back to Brock for a minute. Obviously his first UFC outing didn’t turn out too well, as after a minute of solid punches, he was caught in a leglock and forced to tap out. While I mentioned this already in a previous blog post, Brock is far from the next big choke. It’s his first match and naturally, you can’t win them all. But from the short time he was offensive, he didn’t look like a complete idiot and may do very well in his new UFC career.

So best of luck, Brock.

(2011 Update: May do very well? Brock Lesnar would eventually win the UFC World championship; the only guy to hold the top championship in both WWE and UFC… I severely doubt anybody else is going to repeat that feat.)

Cubed.

So many people can say that they’ve got the hottest new video game console on the market, whether it’d be the Wii, XBox 360, or even the Playstation Grill. Since I’m not one of those folks, I’ll just say I got a Gamecube for thirty bucks, thus granting me possession of three of the four consoles of the previous generation (the last missing system being the Dreamcast, but I’m not going out of my way to find one because I have no bloody room to stock pile these consoles).

Along with the Cube, I also managed to proquire a Game Boy Player, which allows you to play Game Boy games on TV. This came about roughly a week after I had picked up the Super Game Boy peripheral for SNES, which works fine on the spiffy FC Twin console. Oh well. More retro stuff for me, I suppose.

Boycotting The New Trek

For the past couple of weeks, Montreal was hit with a couple of snowstorms and we’ve amassed a total of about 80 centimeters worth thus far. Last year, we didn’t even have one millimeter’s worth of snow until early-January.

I’d like to find the people who wished for a White Christmas and shoot them with my Zapper, since I have no other use for it these days.

On the flip side, it seems like the bad weather has presented me with an epiphany. One that spells boycott.

Yes, folks. I’ve seen the light and after reading the latest article reporting that a certain actor still hasn’t been signed on, I feel I should make my true feelings heard.

How dare they leave out Greg Grumberg! Abrams is NOTHING without this man! I will boycott this movie until Grumberg is in the movie even as a worthless cameo of when Kirk is watching an episode of Alias or Felicity on his new Starfleet TV. Bring back Grumberg – he IS Abrams’ career!

Oh… you were thinking of Shatner? Fuck him.

Saw My First Drew Carey-Hosted Price Is Right

So a funny thing happened one day while I was flipping channels; I found myself watching an episode of The Price Is Right. But not with the usual host Bob Barker, who had retired, but with his successor, Drew Carey.

Yes, that Drew Carey. Of The Drew Carey Show fame.

He’s hosting The Price Is Right now.

And you know what I felt when watching this show?

Awkward.

I don’t watch The Price Is Right on a regular basis these days, but I used to remember watching the show as a kid during those weekdays when I was at home during a day off school. There was something about the soft-spoken Barker and his straw-thin microphone that stuck with me. I couldn’t tell you what that was, but it was enough that whenever I think The Price Is Right, I think Bob Barker.

And now I’m watching an episode hosted by the short and stubby funnyman from Cleveland. And it feels odd.

For what it’s worth, he’s not bad in the gig. I’ve seen him host the American version of Whose Line Is It Anyway? and he was always there, so he can do the hosting thing just fine. But it feels odd seeing him host this show, on those sets, with that same straw-thin microphone.

It’s not going to be the same.

On the other hand, Drew Carey hosting The Price Is Right is NOT the strangest thing I’ve seen this man involved in. After all, he was in the Royal Rumble once upon a time.

Yep.

An “Open” Letter To Mr. Shat(ner)

The following letter is not an open letter, but the approximation of what would be written in an open letter to Mr. Shatner should I feel compelled to do so. It does however reflect my own opinion of the whole Shatner/Star Trek XI affair.

Dear Mr. Shatner,

Word has it that you will not be in the new Star Trek movie and that you have decided to let people know about it, expressing your opinion about how it is a foolish move not to have you in it. I suppose in your mind it’s not fair, considering your old buddy Leonard Nimoy was convinced to return to acting to play the role of “Old Spock” in said movie developed by that guy who did Felicity, Alias, Lost, and some other fine shows. I suppose in your mind, it could be unjust that since you were involved in the “second” birth of Star Trek (I don’t see Jeffrey Hunter rising from the grave complaining about how HE’S not digitally recreated for the new movie since he was involved in the “first” birth of Star Trek) you should involved in the rebirth. Fortunately, Mr. Shatner, I have some soothing words to calm your nerves.

Please shut the fuck up. Pretty please.

So you’re not in the new movie. Big deal. You apparently never made a big deal of not appearing in the Next Generation show despite your best friend Leonard Nimoy appearing in two episodes. You didn’t complain about not being featured in Deep Space Nine (even though you were featured in stock footage) or Voyager. And the last time I checked, you were holding out on a possible cameo for the last Trek venture, Enterprise. And now all of a sudden, you want to be featured in Trek again.

Fuck you, Shatner.

Do yourself a favor, Billy. Just forget about showing up in Star Trek XI. It’s not going to happen and all your moaning and bitching is doing more to make you look like an egotistical asshole than it is to get you into the movie. All this bullshit you’re spewing isn’t making me feel sorry for you – it makes me nauseous. If anything, it makes me feel sorry for all the other fools who buy into your shameful bitching. I mean, I don’t see George Takei complaining about not being involved in the new Trek… he had his share with New Voyages. Same goes for Walter Koenig… and Nichelle Nichols whose name I probably misspelled and for that I apologize in advance if I did, madam. Regardless, they’re not complaining about not being in the movie. In fact, they support the movie and the actors who are playing the roles they once held. Why can’t you?

Just forget about Star Trek. Just stick with your horseback ridings. Stick with Boston Legal. Stick with writing crappy Starfleet Academy novels. Just forget the movie. If you’re lucky and you’re alive when casting for Star Trek 24: The Voyage To The Home comes around, I’m sure they’ll give you a call.

In your own immortal words, Bill… GET A LIFE! FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, IT’S JUST A MOVIE!

Thanks for listening. Good night.

Sincerely yours,
DTM

Monty & Sonny Gone From TNA, One Year Of John Worthless World Champ

Don’t know if anyone realized it, but today marks the one-year anniversary of John Worthless’ reign of terror as WWE Champion. Don’t know if anyone actually cares, either.

Apparently, family emergencies doesn’t fair too well when having a career in WWE. It was recently announced that WWE had released former TNA/ECW star Marcus Cor Von (Monty Brown) and developmental talent/former TNA star Sonny Siaki. That’s just too bad.

Apparently, Eric Bischoff is back in power and I didn’t know about it.