Category: Musings

First Impressions – Circle of The Moon (GBA)

(2023 Update: In retrospect, calling this post a “First Impressions” is kind of a white lie, since my first time playing Circle Of The Moon would’ve been years prior, albeit through the “evil art” of emulation. My guess is that I had acquired an actual cart of Circle Of The Moon and wrote this shortly afterwards. So, in a sense, it’s my first impressions of the game played on its native hardware rather than though some spotty emulation… that’s my logic behind it, at least.)

Some time after Konami released Symphony of the Night on the Playstation, they released Castlevania 64… and it sucked. So they released a sequel… and it sucked too. A couple non-significant games later, Konami released their first GBA title, Circle of the Moon.

The story revolves around a trio of Vampire hunters attempting to kill Dracula yet again, only to be separated. As Nathan, you have to save the other hunter before he becomes a sacrifice or something. In any case, you’re equipped with a traditional leather whip and can spin it around like a lasso (but can’t brandish it like in CV4). You can also equip yourself with DSS cards that alters your whip to become flame whips, ice whips, poison whips, and even a gun! Neat-o.

The graphics are fairly decent for a first title and are varied from each other. Sure, most of the halls look alike, but it’s a common flaw even with Symphony in a couple levels, so no complaints there. The controls are responsive and the challenge is fair, with only a couple bosses being complete pricks. While it isn’t as expansive as the later GBA titles, at least this one has a decent soundtrack worthy of the GBA, unlike the later “sequels” and its NES-esque soundtracks.

If you have a GBA hanging around and you want a decent Castlevania game, don’t bother with the other two and get this one. Aria may have that Soul trading thing and Lament has Simon’s grandson, but this is actually the better game of the three.

Warrior Returns To Wrestling Wearing Suspenders

(2019 Update: Amazed that the video link still works. And so here it is in an embedded format.)

Warrior made his return to a wrestling ring some time ago at a NWE event in Europe. When Orlando Jordan shows up to heckle a young fan, Warrior beats the crap out of him in vintage Ultimate-style. He does his usual shtick (shaking on the wobbly ropes, pounding his chest like a madman) and gets a decently good reaction.

Looks like he hasn’t lost a beat. Not that what he did required much of a beat to lose, but whatever.

There’s two trains of thought in this: the longtime fan who grew up watching the Warrior will get a kick out of his long awaited return – and I mean that sincerely, since Warrior’s last stint in wrestling was less than a decade ago. And the guy who didn’t watch the Warrior, haven’t heard of the Warrior, or even care for the Warrior will be asking “Who the fuck is this guy? And why is he ripping off Batista?”

And then there’s the other train of thought that remembers his speeches… the less said, the better. In any event, who cares? I’ve embedded the video for the rest of us to share in the experience.

Welcome back, Warrior.

When? You Mean You Didn’t Know…?

At an undisclosed press junket, Marvel editor-in-chief Joe Quesada sat before a bunch of random journalists and field questions.

“So, Joe,” one reporter asked. “Marvel has all these overblown event storylines coming up? When do you suppose Marvel will go back to normal stories not requiring extensive readings?”

“You mean when are our books going to suck again,” Quesada joked.

The quip got a bit of chuckle from the audience before another reporter spoke out. “You know it’s funny you’d say that because I kinda thought the books were already sucking since Civil War. Brand New Day? World War Hulk? Red Hulk? Another fucking Skrull storyline? What the hell, man? Whatever happened to the good old days of Marvel when you weren’t fucking with the status quo?”

The question raised some boos, and Quesada answered that “At the end of the day, what it means to me, is that our stuff is so compelling that you want to get it. My job and Dan’s job and all our jobs here are to make you want to buy everything we put out.”

“But that’s the thing,” another reporter asked. “Your stuff isn’t that compelling now. In fact, your stuff is so fucking boring and terrible that it’s not even worth pirating. How does that make you feel about producing shitty-ass stories charging people five bucks a pop to suffer through incredible stories such as Bucky as Captain America or Marvel Apes? Marvel Fucking Apes? Are you a fucking moron, man?!”

Fine. Fine. I’ll just give my money to DC.

DTM BLOG Classics #36 – NES Buyer’s Guide For Those Wanting To Relive Nintendo’s golden boy

Originally DTM Blog Post #828

It’s probably not too evident (or maybe it is) to some people, but I enjoy the old retro video games from the 1980s-90s moreso than I do the current next-gen ones. They’re simple, fun to play, and focus more on being great games than being pretty ones with lots of extraneous features. Suffice it to say I’d rather pay fifty bucks for a copy of Super Mario All-Stars than I would playing the latest FPS game focused on aliens trying to take over the universe and an online component I almost never use. And ever since I picked up the FC Twin console back in October 2007, I’ve been on the retro-kick for the most part. To think I almost forked five hundred bucks for a Wii, a classic controller, and some Wii points just to play the much-vaunted Virtual Console. Woo – just what I needed in my life, a motion-sensored remote control to swing around like an idiot and pray to God I don’t let go or the strap breaks so that the stupid thing smashes into my TV or someone’s nutsack.

Continue reading “DTM BLOG Classics #36 – NES Buyer’s Guide For Those Wanting To Relive Nintendo’s golden boy”

This Is What It Comes Down To…

So Screwattack has posted another video on their site: one called “A Day In The Life of Screwattack.” Anyone thinking this would be a nice look in the back would be disappointed to find that it’s just Jose running out in the snow without his shirt on and jiggling his man-tits. Some found funny, but I found it… meh.

What happened to videos where they go to cool video game stores or show off peoples’ games collection? Even the clips of the weeks have degraded into nothing more than obscene comedy pieces. As much as I want to support these guys through their own site instead of their GameTrailers videos, I can’t really do that when they’re trying too hard to be a lousy sitcom.

What happened to the site that was supposed to be about video games and fun? Because I’ve been seeing neither as of late.

Man, I miss Tom. When is the GameHeroes coming up?

Next Mutation… Something Best Left Forgotten

Sometime in 1998, Saban had acquired the rights to produce a brand-new Ninja Turtles live-action series. Naturally, being a fan of the TMNT back in the day, this obviously peaked my interest. So when I started watching the show… to say I was disappointed by the end result is an understatement. Some time later (more like recently), I got a chance to revisit the series.

First off, let’s talk about some of the positives. They managed to re-create the Turtles’ lair as it was last seen in the movies fairly well given the limited budget they threw in with this. There tends to be this darker atmosphere overall in terms of the sets and whatnot. And the Turtle suits, while not the greatest piece of puppetry and whatnot, were functional and seemed pretty sturdy for most of the action stuff that would follow in the series.

People tend to complain about getting rid of Shredder quickly and replacing him with these original villains who could have easily been used in a Power Rangers show. But you can only have Shredder get beat so many times before it gets boring and undermines his worth as a villain… and besides, most fans don’t realize or don’t remember or just plain ignore the fact that in the original comic, the Shredder was offed in the very first issue! Never mind the countless resurrections that would follow. So on a personal standpoint, I was sort of glad they got rid of Shredder because then the anticipation would build to the point where they would eventually bring him back in a later episode. I find that Shredder in small quantities work best because then his encounters with the Turtles are all the more memorable.

Unfortunately, they end up replacing him with these original villains who, as stated, seemed more fit for a Power Rangers show than a Ninja Turtles show. And with these new magic-wielding generics comes a new female magic-wielding turtle, the infamous Venus De Milo. I’ll be honest; I never got comfortable with her. I’m not against the idea of a female turtle; I’m just against the idea of one who uses magic and thus sticks out like a sore sight among a clan of ninja turtles who seem somewhat out of their domain. I almost get the impression that this could have easily been the Venus De Milo show dealing with her make-believe enemies and the TMNT are just there to provide the star power (or whatever was left considering the timeframe this was released). Fortunately, they all share the spotlight together.

Next Mutation was canned after a season on the air and the creators were more than happy to ignore it. Given time and maybe another season, I really believe this live iteration of the TMNT could have been something and might have gotten a chance at greatness. But while the idea was sound, the execution was flawed (although there are a couple good episodes in this series). As it stands, Next Mutation is one of those oddities in Turtledom that is best left buried and forgotten.

Handsome Tom (and others) Leave Screwattack

This is a bit of a shocker.

So in any case you haven’t heard, Handsom Tom – the smooth-talking half of the original Screwattack crew that started that whole site up a couple years back, has apparently left the site he helped founded. Leaving with him is Perfect Liz, the Screw-A-Dog, and even New School Mickey… he of the curly hair. This sucks. This sucks so much that it needs a kick in the face…

IN THE FACE.

But seriously, I care not speculate. It’s been a great time for Tom. Hopethey moves on to bigger and better things… whatever that may be.

“Lost” Review – Yobo FC Twin

Since not having the Webstation up has some sticklers up in atoms, here’s a little something to tide you over: a months-old review of Yobo’s dual NES/SNES clone video game console, the FC Twin. Keep in mind that this was written before the release of the Retro Duo, a similar system which reportedly has better game compatibility. Even so, I stand by this review for the most part and find that the Twin is somewhat easier to get your hands on if you don’t trust the Internet for hardware. Chances are you’ll luck out at a flea market, but I found that the local Superclub Videotron on Beaubien street (in Montreal… of course) also sells these. With that said, here’s the review:

A long time ago in a galaxy two feet away, in the days before there was Blu-Ray this and HD that, the purpose of a video game console was to play video games. Nothing more, nothing less. It didn’t play movies or music; it played video games. It didn’t need a fancy set-up like a hi-def television or Internet connection; all you need was a TV, a wall outlet to plug the power in, a working controller, and a game cartridge. This was the gaming life. But then they introduced CDs to the mix and the multimedia revolution began its course; turning what were simple games with deep gameplay and fun into beautiful eye-candy with little to no substance… and no, fifteen-minute long unskippable cutscenes are not my idea of substance. Soon, video game hardware developers attempted to turn simple video game machines into second-rate computer systems that can play CD music, DVD movies, browse the Internet, and even watch porn… wow, it’s just like using a computer, except on a computer, these are standard features that serve somewhat of a purpose while on game consoles, they are tacked on extras so developers could bump up the prices.

Maybe I should just review the damn console before this turns into a rant on the current gaming scene… although that’s not a bad idea.

To relive the old days of gaming, we have game compilations on CD/DVD, X-Box Live Arcade, Wii’s Virtual Console service, and even entire websites offering game downloads for a reasonable fee. However, for those of us who still have those old cartridges, we have to find vintage working consoles to play the classic we already own. Those that work cost an arm and leg and the dirt cheap ones are likely not to work. There is the option of repairing your faulty console, but if you’re like me, chances are you’re not much of an expert in taking things apart and putting them back together in the same shape it was before. Fortunately, we have third-party alternatives as a group of Asian developers have made a bunch of clone consoles. One of them is a 2-in-1 clone console called the FC Twin, developed by Yobo. This console is a follow-up to their NeoFami/FC Game console which was basically a NES clone system.

THE GOOD: Probably the FC Twin’s best feature over other Fami-clones is its ability to play classic NES (8-bit) or Super NES (16-bit) games on the same console. NES emulation is somewhat spotty (more on this later), but SNES gameplay is absolutely flawless, with every pixel, soundbyte, and control movement almost perfectly replicated. The console itself looks to be fairly well-built and the controllers aren’t too bad either. They function a little stiff for my tastes, but nonetheless, they are a pretty good reproduction of the SNES controller, which is quite possibly one of the best controllers I’ve ever laid my hands on. For $70 Canadian, I found it to be a steep but fair price, considering what I was getting; a dual NES/Super NES console that requires one plug and one set of A/V wiring.

THE BAD: It’s been stated that certain games won’t work with the console due to special chips and designs in these games and this is somewhat true. Castlevania III on the NES side of things is a perfect example, as the game would just halt before any gameplay would take place. Also, sound emulation on the NES side of things tends to be off, but this is to expected since this isn’t original NES hardware and thus the little details can’t be perfectly recreated. Later FC Twin models would have improved sound emulation (read: SMB plays sound just as you remember them), but some minor flaws in the emulation do exist. Another discerning criticism (and one that is used often against the FC Twin) is the exclusive use of SNES controller ports. While you can use your SNES gear without fault, this means no slots to use classic NES gear such as the Zapper or Power Glove. Whether this is a big loss is dependent on whether you actually need a dose of Duck Hunt or Gyromite in your life. Finally, as a personal peeve, the included controllers have really short wires, so you’ll probably want to dump those for actual SNES controllers with longer wires (or even no wires) fairly quickly.

OVERALL: The FC Twin is a very nice, affordable, and space-saving alternative to the NES and Super NES in a time when both consoles can be hard to come by in a functional state. While the lack of compatibility for select titles will scare a few folks away, I wouldn’t mind sacrificing a few games for something as sweet as this. It’s certainly easier than to take your old NES apart and replacing the connectors unless you’re a soldering saavy person, in which case you wouldn’t be reading this review and started ordering the required pieces. In any case, if you’re looking to replay some classic games of an era long gone and are hard-pressed to find original hardware that still works – not to mention save a bit of space in the process – the FC Twin is your best bet.

The Language Police Wages War On Irish Relics

An Irish pub was recently given notice by Quebec’s signature language police to take down their Irish decorations of old signs and ads from Ireland, because they’re not in French or face fines. So apparently this province can’t afford to maintain infrastructure and improve services such as education and health plans, but we can afford to bully business owners who don’t speak French. Apparently I missed the news story about Quebec being run by Nazis.

Fortunately, after common sense came along and smacked these idiots upside the head, the language police have decided that the English decor of the Irish pub can stay put. Smart folks.

* Quebec may not be run by Nazis.

How Far Has Trek Gone…?

I’m looking at the front page of the TrekWeb website and what notable news stories am I reading today? Fan production New Voyages changing its name to Phase II, after the aborted Trek series that eventually became The Motion Picture. An interview for one of the writers of Operation: Beta Shield, another fan film. Alumni Trek actors talking about past days.

Has the franchise gotten to a point where it’s considered news when somebody pisses the words Star Trek on a field of snow? Maybe I should try that right now. Get ready for that to make headline news.

Disclaimer: I didn’t actually go out and piss the words Star Trek out in a field of snow. If I’m going to be doing any pissing, it’ll be in a toilet within the comforts of my nice, warm home. Thanks.