Category: Musings

No More Wrestling Rants

“When’s the next Wrestling Rant, Dave?”

There is none.

If you want to read my thoughts on wrestling, just read the Bite. I don’t have the energy to keep up with two features at once, especially if the other feature is talking about this awful wrestling that’s on TV.

That McSon-In-Law versus Steiner match nearly broke me.

That was so bad.

I’m amazed how much damage a single Panda did to the direction of this company… but then again, whether they got the F out or not wouldn’t have made much of a difference because they were headed for shit, either.

I’d go for TNA… but do I really wanna pay ten bucks a week for more Vince Russo on my TV?

I’ll bare the WWE product because it’s better than the other one… but not by much.

A Short Comment on Chris Jericho And The “Internet Marks”

The following piece was taken from The Bite edition 06/30/2002 in a subject called “Chris Jericho’s Bashing of the Internet Marks”

“I am browsing through the wrestling webpages and I find this link which contains Chris Jericho’s comments about the dirtsheets and critics (or as he calls them, “marks”) who gave his match with Rob Van Dam negative reviews. If that was the case, then explain to me why this match was the second most-enjoyed match in the King of the Ring (according to a WWE.com poll on June 26th 2002 – 7:49 AM Eastern Time, for those who want to be technical). Explain to me why I actually enjoyed watching this match… It seems to me lately people are more interested in picking out the bad points of a product (in this case, the WWE) than to be entertained by it. They want to check for low ratings of the product and figure out what’s wrong with the product.

“On one of the dirtsheets Tuesday morning, I saw this article agreeing with Chris Jericho’s comments. He thought the June 24th episode of Monday Night Raw was one of the best he’s seen, despite the low rating. Sounds like this guy’s been entertained pretty well. He also says the people who claim that “without big guys like Austin, Rock, or Triple H, WWE is going nowhere” are also the same people who a year ago have said that “WWF (F the Panda) needs to get the limelight off Austin/Rock/HHH, WWF needs to create new stars.” These people are contradicting their own words by saying stuff like this now. If you’re going to review a card, review both its positive and negative attributes. To claim that the crowd was pretty much dead is a joke. I thought the crowd was into it, especially during the RVD/Jericho and Lesnar/Test matches, both of which I felt were highlights of the card.

“The ratings do not dictate whether the card was good or bad. It dictates how many people were watching the show with interest. You can have the absolute best quality television program that night and still manage to score a pathetic 2.9. That simply means in order to attract a larger audience, the writers have to do better than what they are providing.”

That pretty much sums up how I felt about the whole thing at the time. Two months later, I purchase a copy of Pro Wrestling Illustrated (referred to commonly as PWI) in which one of the magazine’s columnists (once again) agree with Chris Jericho’s internet tirade. (All the more interesting is the fact that Chris is true to his word about being done with wrestling on the Internet, as I have yet to see a new commentary posted… nor do I expect one.) The wrestling “newswires” and dirtsheets are nothing more than a source of negativity and bullshit rumors that may or may not happen. It seems that 10% of what’s out there actually holds some merit (mainly Smackdown spoilers – which is the only reason I go to these sheets in the first place), while the rest is “speculation” or “rumor.” I opt for the third option: bullshit.

These days, there is no true way to be entertained by wrestling because we are often tempted to go to these dirtsheets and check out the latest “backstage heat” or “potential future storylines.” And when they do happen in a wrestling card, we shrug it off and pass it as “predictable.” Of course, before you went on to the dirtsheet, you probably didn’t have a clue as to what happened.

On the other hand, though, wrestling hasn’t really changed much during the time it’s been around. Maybe some of the stuff is semi-predictable, maybe some of the stuff is the same shit, and maybe we’re getting the same match ups over and over again. You can call it whatever you want (wrestling, sports-entertainment, male soap opera, the fake sport), dress it up in any way you like, but it is the same product. It is the same basic principle.

Bottom line… who gives a fuck, really? I mean, if you are tired of the same old thing happening over and over again, THEN DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND STOP WATCHING THE FUCKING SHOW!  Is there anything that is tempting you to watch something you don’t like in a negative light? If there is something I don’t like on TV or in the movies, I don’t watch it. It’s as simple as that. Find something you do like and go watch that. It seems as though there are people will just about bash anything and may very well like anything… that is something Chris Jericho has stated in his commentary. In some sense, that is true. Also in some sense, I don’t think there is such a thing as a true fan. In fact, I think these days, the definition of being a fan has changed to the point where the original meaning is lost.

A fan used to be someone who enjoyed the show… but now I think a fan has evolved into a mark… if you’re a fan, you will enjoy the product you’re a fan of. It’s alright to criticize, but enjoy the show too.

My Deepest Wish For Christmas

Well, it’s Christmas… or at least, it should be by the time I publish this page… assuming that I hadn’t forgotten to do so.

I’m writing this before the clock strikes midnight, which is usually when the family starts opening up all their gifts. I keep my expectations to a minimum. As I get older, I realize that we’re past the point of getting fancy gifts we might actually and instead settle for more clothes and possible knick-knacks. The only person whom I’d expect to get the fun gifts from is my older brother… that’s fine by me, though.

Honestly, no matter what gifts pan out, I just want to make it through this Christmas in one piece and in a good mood. Let’s hope nothing bad happens. Would be nice. For once.

Too dramatic? Maybe… but I don’t know… I always get a funny feeling.

Later.

WWF Buys WCW… And Somehow Loses.

It’s over.

After a long, hard-fought battle, the World Wrestling Federation has outlasted its rival promotion World Championship Wrestling and bought off its remains, putting an end to the storied rivalry in years and giving Vincent K. McMahon the sports entertainment monopoly he’s always wanted.

It was tight in the beginning. WCW Monday Nitro started in 1995 and went head to head with WWF during a time when the show was an hour long and ran a bunch of bad matches and stories featuring largely cartoonish gimmicks.

And then Scott Hall and Kevin Nash jumped ship to WCW, wrecked havoc (in more ways than one), and formed the New World Order with a Hulk Hogan who had gone bad in an effort to change his stale act. And for the first time in a good long while, WCW was on top of the world, beating the WWF in the ratings, pay-per-view buys, and other areas that the geeks would consider important. The WWF struggled, but couldn’t quite nudge.

But WCW proved two things; they had one good idea and most of their top stars were old guys from the WWF’s prime years in the eighties. Eventually, people got tired of the nWo gimmick and clamored for something new… and that something new came from Stone Cold Steve Austin feuding with Vince McMahon. Suddenly, people were hot for WWF again to the point where WCW was suddenly feeling left behind.

In an effort to gain back their dominance, WCW made stupid mistakes. They ended the streak of their hottest star, Goldberg, and went back to the nWo well one time too many. They hired one of the creative minds behind the WWF’s recent run and they ended up with the same stuff that was on the other show, which begs the question why anyone would want to watch second-rate WWF television on the WCW show when they could just watch RAW. They let four talented wrestlers leave for the competition. They brought back the two guys responsible for the company’s woes to try and liven things up again, only to fail miserably and harder than before.

And these are just scratching the service.

Eventually, the heads at Time Warner decided to sell the thing off and then someone else decided to cancel all the WCW shows, leaving Vince to come in and buy his competition. He might not have the shows, but he has the trademarks, the titles, and some of the stars… but not the big guns. No Goldberg, no Steiner, no Jarrett or anyone like that… well, they got DDP… that’s something, I guess, right?

So this is it… WWF is the only show on television right now… and how do they celebrate this big milestone?

They make Shane the new owner of WCW and have Steve Austin turn on the Rock to join forces with Vince McMahon.

The next day, a friend of mine who had been watching wrestling since the 80s was so upset by this turn of events that he swore off wrestling forever. We’ll see if he actually means it… but if that’s the case, then I wonder how many other people would feel the same way. More to the point… how many people who used to watch WCW until the very end – still feels funny saying that – are actually going to make the jump to WWF?

I was not the biggest WCW fan in the world; the old guys and the constant nWo stuff killed it for me… but it was the place for great wrestling. And there used to be this mentality that WWF was more focused on the entertainment aspects while WCW was more about the sport… something that wasn’t readily apparent the first time around when you had a bunch of old guys in the main event.

So two shows with two different styles… and one goes away… does the one show get the other audience or do they go away?

One thing’s for sure; this acquisition could very well make this whole WWF vs. WCW thing a reality… even if it feels half-assed

Spider-Man Unlimited… meh.

So I liked the Spider-Man cartoon that’s on Fox. I think it does a good enough job of adapting some of the more popular comic stories onto the small screen with its own little continuity and it has a pretty catchy theme song. Almost as catchy as that classic Spidey tune from the old cartoon from the 60s or something.

The show ended on a cliffhanger, with Spider-Man and that Webb lady looking for Mary Jane in some other dimension or something… but rather than continue that angle, we got another Spider-Man cartoon… called Spider-Man Unlimited.

This Spider-Man featured Spider-Man going to another dimension – a Counter-Earth, if you will – and now he has to help some rebels fend off against some other villains while also having to deal with mutated versions of Venom and Carnage. Spidey also sports a new suit with a bunch of gadgets and… I’m not a fan. Spidey has had costume changes before, but this looks god-awful.

Spider-Man Unlimited is a good show on its own… good original storylines, decent animation, but it’s not the Spider-Man I know from reading the comics. While there are some familiar faces, they don’t always show their face, leaving our poor webhead to make friends with some new faces, who vaguely resemble some characters from the comics.

I’m not going to bash this cartoon because it doesn’t follow the roots of which it came from. It’s a good show, but it would have been a better show if Spidey ditched the hi-tech crap and stuck with his basic web shooters and proportionate spider strength.

Or at least came up with a better suit.

Birthday Wish

Well, it’s my birthday today… nineteen years on this ball of soil called Earth.

I wish I could say that things were looking up from my point of view… but all I could really say is that things are going smoothly enough. So that’s guaranteed to not come true. There is something of a birthday wish that I would like to share… and I have no qualms about sharing it because it’s an outlandish wish that will never come true.

I wish that I had a more positive outlook on life.

I wish that I wasn’t as naïve about the real world as I turned out to be.

I wish that I was in a better place… or at least, a better frame of mind.

That’s my wish… and now that I’ve shared it, no chance of it happening any time soon…

Unless…

Revisiting THREE: A New Generation of Street Fighters

I remember going to the local arcade by the shopping mall, looking to see if there was anybody occupying the popular fighters during the day. And there it sat: THREE.

Why they went with THREE on the arcade banner and not Street Fighter III baffled me at the time, but looking back, I realized that the banner was a joke that Capcom went along with.

For years, people have been clamoring for a Street Fighter III and for years, we got anything and everything BUT that elusive game. In that time, there have been many countless jokes made about Capcom being unable to count to three when it comes to its Street Fighter games. The funny thing is that nobody at Capcom had a problem counting up to and beyond 3 when it comes to its Mega Man series. Maybe the problem is with Capcom’s arcade side of things, as now we seem to have a problem counting to 4.

Or maybe this is the last Street Fighter game for a good while… not counting the updates, of course.

I remember popping in a token into the machine, which had seen only a couple people play at most. I’d pick Ryu and then was astounded by the option to choose one of three Super Arts. Prior Street Fighter games and spin-offs gave fighters more than one super that were available at all times, so to restrict players to one out of three seemed like a step backwards, but then again, this was a “new” take on the property.

Other than Ryu and Ken, you have a cast of eight new characters. In a way, I was annoyed because that meant you had no old favorites to fall back on other than Ryu or Ken… but in a way, it actually makes sense. Street Fighter II had only three fighters making a return from Street Fighter I and this third game is supposed to denote a new generation. Shouldn’t there be more new faces to introduce to the pack?

So I play this new game and in a way, it’s familiar territory almost back to basics. Moves works as well as they did in past games, air blocking is gone, air hurricane kick is gone, only one level of super energy, and… wait a minute, why does that girl have three levels of energy and a much smaller meter? What’s going on here? Hold on, they’ve got a meter that shows me how many hits it takes to stun someone? Why would… HOLY SHIT! DID THAT SUPER SHORYUKEN JUST EAT UP HALF THAT GUY’S HEALTH?! WHAT THE FUCK?!

Street Fighter III was the same old Street Fighter game with a new cast of characters, a somewhat more fluid artstyle that was rougher looking and carried more grit than the anime-esque Alpha visuals,  and a new parrying mechanic that takes a while to master, but changes the dynamics of the game greatly. And I’ll be honest; I enjoyed the game quite a bit. It was nice to see a different looking Street Fighter game that didn’t just recycle the same Alpha sprites over again and there was a vibe to this one that I kinda dug.

The typical single-player experience gave you six random opponents for you to conquer before facing off against the final boss, Gill; a tall dude with blue and red skin wearing nothing but a loin cloth. This fucker was tough; his moves hit fast and hard, his reaction times were quick, and if he had a full super meter after getting KO’ed, he’d spring right back to life.  Clearly, this guy was an asshole that was hard as nails… but eventually, he was conquered and a high score was achieved… back when we cared for such things.

And then a year or so later, that SF3 machine was replaced with something else. I don’t remember what, but the game didn’t last long. I never did get to play the 2nd Impact upgrade in arcades, but I did play the Third Strike iteration during my wilderness years. A drastically different experience that no doubt felt like a considerable upgrade… but I’ve always had a fondness for the OG Street Fighter III. It might not have gotten the warmest reception at first glance, but I was just thrilled to get a different Street Fighter that actually felt somewhat different.

Revisiting The Original Street Fighter Game

Most people’s first experience with a Street Fighter anything was the second game. The one with eight World Warriors, special moves that took time to pull off, and made for some competitive battles between players. Even with that initial iteration, it’s easy to see why it became the basis for a much beloved fighting game franchise.

Of course, that is Street Fighter II, which denotes a sequel to a prior game.

The only other Street Fighter game that I knew of back in the day was the Street Fighter 2010 game for Nintendo that was featured in some comic book ads, but eventually, I’d come across that very first Street Fighter game and while my experience with it was brief, it stuck with me until the end of time.

We were at an airport one time and on the second floor, there was a rather modestly-sized video arcade section. I only had a couple quarters on hand to try some of the games; most of which were older games that I wasn’t too familiar with at the time and most of which I probably wish I sampled for the sake of saying that I played an actual [insert vintage arcade game here] arcade cabinet. But instead, my eyes were affixed on this one machine in general with a very familiar name.

Street Fighter.

But this one was different. This one had no roman numeral II on the marquee. And also, the game that was being displayed was not the familiar Street Fighter II game that I had seen before. It took a moment for my young mind to register that this was, in fact, not Street Fighter II… but rather the original Street Fighter I. Yes, the game does, in fact, exist. I’ve seen it with my own two eyes… and it bore the familiar set-up of six buttons (three punches and three kicks).

Being someone who had been on something of a Street Fighter kick, I couldn’t help but be drawn by this magical cabinet before my eyes. Ah man, I’ve got to give this thing a try… aw, but it takes two credits and that’s all I had… but still, it’s Street Fighter I. I’m never going to get this chance again. I rarely get out at this young age of 12. So I popped the quarters in and I start playing.

The game was primitive compared to its sequel. You only had one character to play with (Ryu) and your only option was to fight in Japan or USA. Naturally, I begin the quest in Japan, where I face off against a bald guy named Retsu and eventually get defeated by Geki, a ninja. And then there was a bomb. And then I had no more spare change and moved on with my life.

That’s about all I remember about the game.

I don’t recall if the game ever got ported over to home systems. The closest thing that I could recall was reading about a PC version of Street Fighter II that also came packaged with a DOS version of Street Fighter I, but that’s about the extent of it. It’d be nice to be able to play that game again someday.

We’ll see, I guess.

Later.

The Three Fails Of Foley

On February 2, the man of many faces wrestled the last match of his career… or so we thought.

It was a failing effort.

And then a couple weeks later, it was announced that what was supposed to be a triple threat match for the title would now be a four-corners elimination match between champion HHH, Big Show, Rock, and the returning Mick Foley

Yep, that’s right. Mrs. Foley’s baby boy was coming out of his barely month long retirement and is finally getting his Wrestlemania main event… and I honestly could not care less.

Don’t misunderstand me; I tip my hat off to the Foley; he was one of the craziest – maybe even wreckless – wrestlers that I’ve seen in my short time following this show. The risks he takes to give audiences a good show and the costs he pays to maintain that level of believability and commitment is something that I don’t believe anyone would go far to take. What he brings to the table is something that can’t be contained with a sock puppet. And when he won his first World title, I don’t think I’m alone in saying that he deserved… no, scratch that. He earned the right to be on top of the mountain, even for the briefest periods.

Whether it’d be the sadistic hardcore legend or the funny man with the sock, whether it’d be laying it all on the canvas or in the written word, I tip my hat to Foley and all he has given.

But with that out of the way, was I really looking forward to his coming out of retirement to do this one Wrestlemania main event?

His last two matches were where he had awesome main event battles with champion HHH, both of which he had lost. His last PPV match, taking place weeks ago within the Hell In A Cell, was perhaps the best note he could end a career on. His last chance, his final bow, his going down fighting and in a blaze of glory. All capped with a standing ovation from an audience who not only admired this man, but respected him for his accomplishments and his sacrifices.

Is it really worth killing that moment for a one-off Wrestlemania main event for Foley? A main event that he will no doubt lose yet again?

The more I think about it, the more it makes my head hurt… because at some point, it dawned on me that this match isn’t about the four guys in the ring. It’s about the people outside. It’s about the stupid McMahon.

What was that tagline again? “A McMahon In Every Corner?”

Why would I care about that? Why can’t I just have a regular one-on-one match between Rock and HHH for the title and be done with it? Why do we need Big Show in there? Why do we need Foley in there? What’s the point of all this?

So here we are. A few days away from 2000 and a four-way that I should be excited about, but not really. All of a sudden, this feels like it’s going to suck hard. And that’s not a good feeling.