Cinemassacre's Top 50 Shitty Shark Movies

James Rolfe made a Top 40-ish Shitty Shark Movie video ages ago and he uploaded this one a couple years ago, which has been expanded to 50. Surprisingly, Sharknado does not dominate this fucking list. Besides that, I am amazed that he only  bumped the old list up to 50 because there are plenty more bad shark movies. Maybe in another five years, eh?
Honestly, I’m more disappointed that Rolfe didn’t upload his Top 10 Shark Movies video, which is worth watching if you can find. I don’t know if you can. It might still be on his website. I assume it still works. Right?

Legend Of The Cash Grab Dragon – NO BUYS

It’s been a while since I’ve touched on anything related to our old buddy JDF, but I felt somewhat compelled to chime in on this one occasion.

Full disclosure: I am not the biggest fan of Jason David Frank. I’m sure in real life, he is a genuinely nice guy and I have nothing but the utmost respect for his accomplishments in his martial arts endeavors and at one point, his place as a positive role model for kids. And however you feel about the character he portrayed on that one show he’s often associated with, I honestly felt the guy did a good job with the role he was given in his prime years. However, when it comes to his public persona and his overbearing ego, he just rubs me the wrong way and I try to avoid anything involving him whatsoever.

Continue reading “Legend Of The Cash Grab Dragon – NO BUYS”

Saw That Endgame Movie…

So, for those who care, I ended up watching that Endgame movie over the weekend and I’ll just say that as a film that concludes eleven years worth of cinematic continuity, it was satisfying enough. Without dipping too much into spoilers, everything is tied up with a nice little bow and there’s some of the usual big spectacles with everyone all over the place, the usual assortment of funny jokes along with some not-so-funny jokes, and they found a way to write off the folks who no longer have contracts to do more movies.

I suppose the question now would be what’s next… and at the moment, I don’t know for sure if that question has been answered or if there’s any indication of that in the upcoming Spider-Man film due later this year or so… but for now, I guess we can all follow the Avengers box office after its billion dollar global debut box office obliteration.
Or… maybe you can follow it. I’ve got better things to do.

My Reaction To A New Doom Movie Coming Out

You know… I had this Ramble video planned out and the audio recorded… but because it’s a video game movie starring a female protagonist… and apparently, played by one of those tiny actresses and not one with a more imposing physique so as to not completely obliterate my suspension of disbelief… but I guess getting an actual badass MMA woman was out of the movie budget… sorry, I’m going off on a tangent, am I?

Listen, if anything, I’ll include the audio onto the next DTM-Cast, but as far as the movie goes… anyone remember the last video game movie that had “annihilation” in its title?

About Will Smith’s Genie… Meh

Mena Massoud as the street rat with a heart of gold, Aladdin, and Will Smith as the larger-than-life Genie in Disney’s ALADDIN, directed by Guy Ritchie.

Source: https://www.cnet.com/news/aladdin-new-images-from-live-action-remake-bring-will-smiths-genie-to-life/

Apparently, this isn’t the final form of Will Smith’s take on the Genie made popular by the late Robin Williams in the ’92 animated film; that version is being worked on in post-production. Honestly, I don’t think we need to paint Will Smith blue. It’s fine if you want to remake your old animated works that don’t need a live-action remake; just try to make it its own little thing instead of being a word-for-word Xerox.

Hell, they’ve already taken that first step by giving Aladdin a shirt. Points for that, right?

Right?

Random Thoughts On… Not Shazam.

So I finally got to watch the teaser trailer for the upcoming Captain Marvel movie and my initial reaction was meh. Wasn’t excited, wasn’t depressed, it was just a thing that I watched and moved on with my life. I gave it another quick watch just a short time ago and my tune really hasn’t changed all that. This will probably be straight-to-Netflix for me if it gets to that point and that’s been the case with a lot of the Marvel output aside from Infinity War, which we did get to see in theaters. It also doesn’t help that the film is featuring the Carol Danvers character; a character that I was never too keen on in either her Ms. Marvel or Captain Marvel phase. If anything, the best use of Carol Danvers was to be the sacrificial lamb for Rogue, a much more interesting character and member of the X-People.

So, apparently, there’s a big stink being made by the fact that Carol Danvers (played by Brie Larson) doesn’t smile enough in the trailer. More than likely, this stink was brought up on Twitter because Twitter is populated by stupid people. Unfortunately, there’s enough stupid people in the world to turn this into a big deal for some reason. I watch the trailer and yes, for the majority of the trailer, Danvers doesn’t show much emotion, if any. There’s a couple hints of a slight grin during the airfield scene or a pained expression when she’s shooting laser beams, but for the most part, it’s just this stone-faced expression that, upon second viewing, made me wonder if this was an actual human actress in the role or another of those digitally CG mock-ups without the facial expressions programmed in. I mean, at this point, it wouldn’t surprise me considering the efforts they went into de-aging SLJ and that other guy named Phil.

I don’t know; maybe the people who made this teaser figured we needed more impressions of Lt. Commander Data and save the emotional bits for the actual movie.

And that’s just the thing; it’s a teaser. It’s just a brief snippet of a much larger playfield. You have these scenes which take place, but no context to go with it. Why is Captain Marvel punching some old lady on a bus? Unless you’re familiar with the comics, you wouldn’t have a clue and assume that Captain Marvel is an asshole. There’s a scene where Carol’s on this alien world and there’s no sense of wonder or astonishment or any sort of subtle emotion… but on the flip side, what makes you think that this was her first time? For all we know, she may have been on that world for who knows how long. Maybe it’s something that’s taken from the end of the movie. After all, we need to explain why this person has been non existent during the entirety of the Marvel Cinematic Canon.

Look… I don’t know if this is going to be a good movie or not. Nobody can assume such a thing from a teaser trailer. Right now, the teaser trailer is a thing that happened and not much more than that. I’m neither excited nor enraged; I’m just like… whatever. I’ll just wait for the next trailer to come along and provide a little more light on what this Captain Marvel movie is all about. Maybe the trailer will show more emotion than this trailer did. Or maybe they’ll just add more stone-faced Brie and then Twitter can complain about it… and I stop caring entirely because Twitter ruins everything.

And that’s all I’ve got to say about that, really.

P.S. Maybe in five to ten years time, if they decide to reboot Captain Marvel, they can go with the Monica Rambeau version instead. Not only is she female, but also a female of color; two checks off the diversity checklist. Also, a much better character than Ms. Cannon Fodder For Rogue.