Author: dtm666

I ramble about things.

Hell Freezes Over As Vince McMahon Retires… For Real

Source: https://corporate.wwe.com/investors/news/press-releases/2022/07-22-2022-210511643

Well… that was a thing that happened.
Seriously, I just got back home a short while ago and this popped up.
So, um… yeah… I guess all it takes a couple dozen allegations to take down the king.
I’ll come up with a proper thing down the road.

Feeling Better… Let's Have A "Feeling Better Week" Week

So I’m feeling a bit better and am ready to get back into the swing of things. As such, next week is the “Feeling Better Week” Week. Monday to Friday will see two posts; one being a written post that’ll be published 12:30 A.M. and a video review will soon publish at 12:30 P.M. This will give you five written posts and five video reviews that week. Next Saturday (June 30th) will feature a new Wily Challenge video for the Archive Channel and the following Sunday (July 31st) will feature a new Sunday Gimmick Table featuring a long overdue product for the masses.

That’s the plan. It’s going well. We’ll see afterwards.

WCW Hog Wild 1996

Easy E decided to hold a free wrestling show in Sturgis during one of their biker rallies. Apparently, it went over so well that he’d make it an annual thing until the end of his presidential tenure. Sadly, the event that would replace it in 2000, New Blood Rising, is a largely awful show known for featuring Lance Storm’s best match ever.
So, yes, the first event was called Hog Wild, but that name didn’t stick for the other annual shows due to copyright concerns and thus was changed to Road Wild. I’ve already mused on the 98 and 99 editions of the event, but never touched on these early shows. Let’s fix that, shall we?

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WCW Bash At The Beach 1996

“Whose side is he on?” The immortals words of one Bobby “The Brain” Heenan were uttered (and consequently scrubbed from subsequent WWE Network airings of this event as I recall) should have cast doubt as to whether the man coming down the ring would be the man who would fend off these callous Outsiders from up there or be the much-vaunted third man that had been teased weeks prior. That faint warning was quickly dismissed because there’s no way it could be.
But for those truly in the know, who else could it have been?
Before we get to that pivotal moment in wrestling history, we have the Bash At The Beach undercard, which is about as business as usual as you can get given a night that nobody figured would have big ramifications for the business going forward. Let’s get that out of the way so that we can get to the good stuff.

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No Review Today, Pausing On Dynamites

I’m currently in the dumps… as in I’m writing this blog post on my laptop while in the john and it’s been tremendous fun waiting for the drizzle to stop. It’s that time of year where I’m currently having to put up with some timely bowel pains. Nothing that a few choice medicines can’t fix, but it has taken a toll on the fun stuff that I usually post on this here blog. So today’s regularly scheduled review has been pushed back to Monday and we’ll just continue from there.

As far as Dynamite musings are concerned… yeah, I’m going to pause on those. To be honest with you, I missed the last episode this week, only managing to catch Wardlow’s TNT title win as well as the Christian Cage/Matt Hardy interactions. From all accounts, it was a nothing happening episode of Dynamite with some good wrestling, but nothing important happened. They’re apparently building towards the next ROH PPV, which probably means a bunch of stuff to try and convince people to buy this show. I’m wondering if this is AEW’s way of getting more PPVs on the cycle without actually booking more AEW PPVs on the cycle.
Personally, I’m not all that interested in ROH and quite frankly, if that’s where the focus is going to be, then I might as well give the show a rest for a little while. The fact is that I want to watch AEW for the AEW stuff. The stuff with New Japan and ROH does nothing for me. I don’t care if those shows are going to have good wrestling. I can get good wrestling anyway. It’s not something that’s in short supply at the moment.
When AEW is ready to start building towards their All Out PPV and when we’re done having Mox defend the Interim “I’m Just Keeping The Belt Warm Until Punk Comes Back” title against midcard guys, then I’ll jump back on board, but until then, I’m giving this show a rest. I’ll follow second-hand reports, but that’s about as far as I’ll go. I’ve got stuff to do in the coming weeks and I’d rather focus on stuff that I can get into. Don’t worry about me as far as the wrestling goes; I’ve got that covered.

Female Captains Declare Themselves “Inspirations” In Uninspired Advertisement

The following post is a complete work of fiction and should not be taken seriously by anyone.

Captains Hardway and Michaels participated in a virtual advertisement to Federation channels declaring themselves to be inspirations to younger generations, not sex objects. The ad was largely seen as uninspired tripe, falling back on the usual preachings of antiquated feminist dogma that has long since been considered outdated in the 25th century.

“We need to inspire hope in the next generation,” Hardway explained in a brief statement to the Federation News Service. “We need to dispel this belief that captains such as ourselves are to be seen as sex objects to be desired.”

“Yeah!” Michaels hollered, “We inspire young women to be better! We need to show them that women can also be part of the world of starship captains!”

When asked why Michaels is wearing a different uniform from what is standard issue, she tried to explain that she was part of a special ops. When the reporter didn’t buy her answer, Michaels simply blurted out, “Er… Classified.”

The reporter raised an eyebrow. “You traveled through time, didn’t you?”

Michaels shifted nervously and raised her voice ever so slightly. “I don’t know what you mean. And quite frankly, I don’t like the way you’re looking at me, Mister.”

“Excuse me, Captain,” the reporter huffed, unphased by Michaels’ accusing tone. “But I consider myself non-binary and would prefer you address me as such. After all, aren’t you supposed to be an inspiration? Shouldn’t your actions be cause for inspiration, not your empty platitudes?”

“Um… er…” Michaels stammered before she tapped her communicator and shouted, “ENERGIZE!”

Before the reporter could say anything, Michaels was enveloped in a flash of light before vanishing for good. The reporter glanced at Captain Hardway, who shot back a shrug and slowly stood from her seat before heading for the exit posthaste. The reporter then checked their notes and shook their head. They knew they should have taken the day off.