dtm666

So I just figured out why I wasn’t too keen on going back to Doctor Who in its current incarnation – the stories coming out of that camp are kinda shit.

For those who need a refresher, I was one of those folks who got into Doctor Who on a regular basis during the Matt Smith days. I’ve seen some Doctor Who beforehand, I knew of it, and I was even able to catch the revival of the show back in 2005, but never really got around to following it until much later. Man, those were the days when you had a kooky Time Lord in a blue box going on some fun adventures that were also smartly written and thought provoking.

I stuck around for a few years – sat through the majority of the Peter Capaldi run, who ended up being “my” doctor if you want to go there. And then once that was done and we went to Jodie Whittaker, I just sort of lost interest and moved on. Or at least, that’s how I’m framing it nowadays. I honestly don’t know why I didn’t stick with it… or at least, I don’t recall.

When David Tennant came back for the specials, I figured why not? Give it a shot. They were fine and then we went from Tennant to Ncuti Gatwa, who seemed like a promising Doctor at first. And with the return of Russel T. Davies behind the scenes – the man partly responsible from bringing Doctor Who back from the wilderness, it seemed like a no-brainer… but it’s on Disney Plus and Disney Plus as a streamer is fucking horrible. So no buys.

I did end up watching an episode or two. One took place in a barber shop and then there was the last one where they went to a singing contest of some kind… my god, those shows were awful.

Granted, I see a lot of clips of these shows and none of them are the least appealing. One episode has the Doctor fighting a cartoon, another had an evil podcaster (played by a white dude – of course), there’s talk about something called “mavity” that makes my head hurt. As for the Doctor… well, you cast the guy from Sex Education and he’s going to lean into what he knows best, right? Lots of touchy-feely, mushy-mush stuff. Not at all like the Doctor of old who’s supposed to be detached and alien – this guy feels like another lame ass human intended to be relatable… except the Doctor isn’t supposed to be relatable. He’s supposed to be the outsider commenting on the state of the human condition. That’s what worked best about the character. And now you don’t even have that.

See, you’ve got it all wrong, love. It’s not “mavity” or “gravity.”

It’s “crapity.”

I suppose I should be excited that they brought back Susan for a cameo (Susan – played by Carole Ann Ford – one of the original companions and also the Doctor’s granddaughter) or that we have a new version of the Rani (an old Time Lady villain from the classic show that would occasionally pop up in Big Finish stuff) to throw us off the fact that the story housing those bits are fucking atrocious. Hard to imagine that the guy who once spearheaded the return of Doctor Who has become this marble-mouthed idiot who can’t tell a good story to save his own ass.

If the rumors of Doctor Who going on hiatus are true, then it’s a hiatus that is desperately needed to find someone who knows some actual science fiction and is good at telling decent stories worthy of this franchise… if such people even exist anymore. I’m not sure anyone these days knows how to spin a good sci-fi yarn; they’re more interested in going “outside the box” and doing stupid shit like having musical episodes or cosplay sessions aping other forms of entertainment. As if they’re ashamed of being the thing that made those franchises popular and enduring in the first place.

I wish an apple would fall on my head and I can suffer partial amnesia so I can forget this entire dreadful period of Doctor Who and go back to the days when the character was played by Tom Baker. I could use a jelly baby right about now.