It's Mid-Summer. No Irate.

Some time ago, the Irate Gamer announced his return, due in the summer.

Summer is almost over. And yet still no sign of the Irate One making his video return.
Chris Bores does have a podcast, however.
I haven’t listened to it… but it should be fun, right?
I don’t know… does anyone really care at this point?
Maybe the Irate Game Sucks guy does… he needs material, after all.
Otherwise, he’d have to find something else to write about.
Wouldn’t that be something?
P.S. Seriously, dude. The Bores well is dry. Start another blog and write about something else. I’m sure you can come up with something.

The Perils Of Flying A Pizza Cutter

So they made a pizza cutter based on the original U.S.S. Enterprise from the original Star Trek show, which seems like a bit of a gimmick and I’m pretty sure people are buying these things. Is there any reason why they’ve yet to make one for that Discovery show?

For fuck’s sake, the show looks like a fucking pizza cutter. THE SAUCER SPINS!
Two seasons after the fact and more than the drab story, I’m trying to understand how a ship like that works. It is like nothing conceived in the 23rd century at that point in time and quite frankly, looks like it’d fit in more with a show that had transforming robots than a show about starships. I’ve made a point to mention that the ship looks like a pizza cutter. Toss in the whole space jump thing it does where THE FUCKING SAUCER SPINS and I have to figure someone is messing with me here.
You Discovery folks are missing a trick. The U.S.S. Pizza Cutter is practically built for this purpose. If nothing else, it seems less awkward to hold and cut pizza with than the Enterprise cutter.
So that was a random brain fart that just popped up.

Cinemassacre's Top 50 Shitty Shark Movies

James Rolfe made a Top 40-ish Shitty Shark Movie video ages ago and he uploaded this one a couple years ago, which has been expanded to 50. Surprisingly, Sharknado does not dominate this fucking list. Besides that, I am amazed that he only  bumped the old list up to 50 because there are plenty more bad shark movies. Maybe in another five years, eh?
Honestly, I’m more disappointed that Rolfe didn’t upload his Top 10 Shark Movies video, which is worth watching if you can find. I don’t know if you can. It might still be on his website. I assume it still works. Right?

How Easy It Is To Slip Away… How Easier It Is To Stay Away… The MMPR Boom Moratorium Continues

Two months into my self-imposed moratorium on Power Rangers comics, especially after word broke that Drakkon was making a comeback in one issue, which turned out to be a flashback thing or something. But just the fact that we’re teasing a possible return leaves no hope going forward.

Here’s the funny thing about this whole deal, right? I dropped the series when that news broke… and I don’t miss it. It didn’t leave some hole waiting to be filled again. It just went away. And I just went on with my day.
I keep track of the reviews and reactions to this thing; this is the only way I keep track of things going on in that realm of the Power Rangers franchise. And at some point, I wonder if I ever really want to come back. This moratorium is supposed to last six months. More often than not, I find myself breaking these self-imposed moratorium because curiosity gets the better of me.
Could this be the first one that sticks? And not only stick, but go beyond that period?
I’ve heard good things about the current run and I’m sure they’re better stories until they need to dive back into the Drakkon drudge. But strangely enough, I don’t feel like I’m missing anything. In fact, I know I’m not missing anything.
The last time I felt this way was back in the mid-2000s, when I no longer had a regular outlet to catch airings of PR… but this time, it’s different. Or is it?
Am I losing interest in this franchise in ways that I might not be aware of?
It’s possible. Anything is possible with the power of Ninjetti.
But I don’t have Ninjetti. I have a beat-up notebook that I’m using as a journal to write these quick entries from my bed in the hopes of transposing them to the blog… assuming they ever happen.
I guess we’ll have to let it play out and… *sigh* see where it goes.
Fuck, now I’m using WWE cliches for posts about Power Rangers.

The World Of Perpetual Darkness Eludes Me

I’ve been staring at the ceiling in my bedroom for a couple hours. I don’t know how much sleep I got, but it couldn’t have been much. I’ve got this massive headache like none before. I tried a couple Tylenols and followed with some tea. Because I ain’t sleeping any time soon.

So I decided to pop up my dusty laptop. One that I’ve had for years and clearly haven’t touched in that amount of time. I dig in to see that it still has some juice, though the battery quickly dies in a couple minutes because it hasn’t been charged and I never got around to it. Desperate and with no other options, I dug into storage and pulled out a box. Inside the box was a tape recording device and a collection of cassettes labeled various things. One of the tapes was labeled HHH Promos.
Yes, in the event of a massive headache such as this, when all other remedies fail, I have a cassette tape that has nothing but HHH promos. I often said that HHH promos were the cure for insomnia and now I’m willing to see if that’s the case.
So I start listening to this tape; some of the most dull and uninteresting promos that McSon-In-Law has cut from the days when he ruled the top of the RAW food chain and the product was shit as a result. One minute, I was listening to HHH drone on about some accolades or whatever and then the next minute or so, my eyes were wide shut. By the time I woke up, light was creeping in from the curtains and my headache was all gone.
So thank you, HHH, for curing my headache with your boring-ass promos circa 2003.

WWE Summerslam 2005

This show featured Shawn Michaels and Hulk Hogan in a dream match of sorts… where Michaels played bad guy for a short while because Hollywood Huckster wanted an old school Hulk Hogan match (well, he wanted several, but HBK wasn’t having it). We got some entertaining skits like the fake Larry King parody and the one promo in Montreal, but the rest of it… well, let’s find out, shall we?

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WWE Summerslam 2004

Welp, this show took place fifteen years ago on this very day… on my birthday, no less. Coincidentally enough, I did not watch this show back in the day, which was a surprise because I did keep up with the WWE shows back in the day until the mid-2000s… but I guess my birthday took presidence or something.

Before anyone asks, yes, this is the show where Randy Orton became the youngest World champ in WWE history and he beat a certain someone for that belt which means…

Bit of a sour note, here. Anyway, let’s move on.

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WWF Summerslam 2001

So this is Summerslam… the first show after July’s invasion PPV that the two big rivals of the Monday Night Wars go head to head at last… except in reality, it was a bunch of WWF guys against more WWF guys, along with WCW and ECW refugees tossed in for good measure. Not a ve

A quick note: even though this whole “Invasion” storyline is ongoing, I’m not going to bother with the identifiers denoting which guy is fighting for which side. It really doesn’t matter in the long run and also I don’t feel like typing out ALLIANCE for every random jabroni out there.

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BOOK REVIEW – 100 Things WWE Fans Should Know And Do Before They Die (2019)

Bryan Alvarez – he of Figure Four Weekly, F4WOnline, Bryan & Vinny, and MINUS FIVE STARS fame – wrote another book. This time, he wrote one on his own, as opposed to sharing the spotlight with R.D. Reynolds and taking all the credit, as was the case with the previous literary endeavor, The Death Of WCW.

Just kidding, Bryan.

100 Things WWE Fans Should Know And Do Before They Die is essentially one of those list-type things, where you have 100 different topics of relative importance and each topic has a number of paragraphs dedicated to it. Some entries in the book have more space dedicated to it than others, while others have little more than short blurbs dedicated to it. In the case of the short blurbs, you sometimes wish there was more that could be expanded upon, but then again, some of these topics could very well be subjects for their own books in and of themselves.

The book opens with a forward from Lance Storm, who is something of a literary connoisseur in addition to be a former wrestler and trainer of future wrestlers. Once you somehow get past that without falling asleep, you get the rest of the book, which hits you with all the basic historical bits to bring a newcomer to the WWE bubble up to speed. And that’s pretty much the whole aim of the book; it’s essentially something that you can give to a newcomer to get them up to speed on what this whole thing is about. The topics aren’t delved into deeply – though some topics have more pages dedicated to them than others, which merely get a paragraph’s mention at most – but this is less a deep dive and more into a refresher of things.

There’s nothing in this book that longtime fans of the genre doesn’t already know before, but serves as a nice reference and Bryan’s wit is more or less on full display here. There’s even a couple entries written by other people who know more about certain bits than he does, which shows some level of humbleness that is normally lacking. The overall format of the book is convenient for those wanting a quick read; each entry typically has a page or two dedicated to them, so you can read an entry or two before calling it a day.

100 Things… does what it does well enough. It’s not the deepest look into the WWE inner workings nor does it try to be. It’s just a primer for newcomers to get themselves acquainted with the WWE universe and a little beyond that. If you’re looking for something more in-depth, you’re not going to get that here. But if you just want something that’s good for a quick read before dozing off, this gets the job done.