Category: Written Reviews

MOVIE REVIEW – Independence Day (1996)

I remember the hype that went behind this movie. A fairly Super Bowl commercial, a FOX special, a bunch of related shows or something… I don’t remember the exact details, but I remember that there was a movement that was pushing this movie as a big deal. So much hype back in the day…

Back when it was released in 1996-ish, I thought Independence Day was a fairly satisfying movie. It didn’t have the most original plot in the world (aliens attempt to conquer Earth and it’s up to the humans to repel them – where have we NOT seen that one before?), but it was still a thrill to see the special effects, thrilling aerial battles, and whatnot. Some ten odd years later, the movie has lost much of its luster, but not so much its fun element.

Those “exciting” special effects? They still serve a purpose and they’re still okay, but nothing special. The plot is somewhat thin and the slow scenes are fairly slow enough to get you out of the mood. Even the tense moments seem predictable and it’s not due to repeated viewings. Despite all this, it’s still a fairly decent popcorn flick worth killing a night if you have nothing better to watch. It’s not a sophisticated movie, it’s not a masterpiece, it’s just a fun little action flick with aliens and lots of explosions.

Independence Day is worth a look if you’re looking for a quick fix of action movies, but anyone looking for high art should look elsewhere. Good messy fun.

MOVIE REVIEW – The Marine (2006)

Yeah, so, for some weird, perverted reason that escapes me, I was compelled to rent a copy of John Cena’s hit WWE Film THE MARINE. You may recall WWE making a major push for people to watch this thing when it came out. Hell, you may recall that this was a bit on this humble web space for a time before the joke got tiresome.

Following the release of their first film See No Evil – the greatest horror movie ever made according to WWE – WWE Films begat THE MARINE, featuring then (and still) WWE Champion John Cena as a former Marine named John Triton (real creative in making the protagonist’s first name as the same as the actor’s. I’m sure Tony Danza would approve) who must save his girlfriend from a bunch of criminals. From there, we get a second-rate action movie that seems to rip off every single action movie in the book until the inevitable conclusion. Somewhere along the line, I stopped caring and read a book, which was unfortunately far more entertaining and enlightening.

The good news is that The Marine is not the worst movie I have bore witness to; that (dis)honor belongs to the Halle Berry flick Catwoman… though sometimes I will remember that Ready To Rumble exists, at which point I’ll ram my head against a wall once or twice before the selective amnesia kicks in. However, The Marine isn’t a bad movie in the sense that it’s so bad it’s good. It’s a bad movie in the sense that it’s not really that interesting or even exciting. For every action movie cliché this movie churns out, you can probably think of thrice as many flicks that could pull off the same trick, but better. “Perty ‘plosions” are nice and all, but mean nothing if there isn’t a strong backstory or even a remotely interesting conflict to drive the action. The Marine has neither of these things and it ends up being a ho-hum action film with a generic plot line. Not even the T-1000 himself, Robert Patrick, could save this flick.

I rarely have a good thing to say about Cena because I’m not a fan of his wrestling work, but given some good material, he could possibly shoot out a couple good movies. Those movies aren’t going to come from WWE Films, however. He has the talent and charisma to drive the movie, but the material he’s given is absolute garbage.

If you’re a fan of Cena, just stick with watching his matches and promos on RAW and avoid this movie. Trust me; you’re better off watching his crappy matches than his crappy movie.

COMIC REVIEW – Marvel Zombies (2006)

I guess you can consider this a quick comic review, since I haven’t a format to put up a full review. In fact, it’s the first time in years that I’m reviewing a comic book in any form… much less five.

So the crossover series Marvel Zombies vs. Army Of Darkness is coming out soon and I thought I take the time to talk about the original five-part miniseries that was put out some time last year. For those who don’t know, Marvel Zombies is an alternate-universe miniseries in which all the superheroes are turned into flesh-eating zombies. The concept is pretty stupid, but it somehow works. The whole thing is set up so that the heroes are aware of their zombie status, but really can’t do anything about it. It’s certainly different from most zombie stories, where the zombies are depicted as mindless one-track idiots.

Marvel Zombie’s art is gruesome, as it should be. There’s a bit more gore in this story than most Marvel tales of this type and it’s almost appropriate considering what we’re dealing with. Some of the imagery is almost unsettling to a point, but it isn’t anything offensive if you know what you’re getting into. It’s not like anybody’s “little buddy” and spider-balls are hanging out in public.

All in all, this is a fairly entertaining miniseries that’s good for a laugh or two. If at all possible, track this one down (either the issues or a trade paperback if one’s available)

Recommended.

DVD Review – History Of The WWE Championship (3-Disc Set)

Recently picked up the 3-Disc History set. For those who don’t know, this set contains a bunch of title matches stemming from the WWWF days to the WWF days to the current WWE days. Thankfully, we only get one John Cena match, which means plenty of room for true champions to show their stuff. I’m going to do you folks a favor and give you a quick little review of this thing;

THE GOOD
I dig the presentation on the DVD. There’s even a nice little montage showing off (almost) every (W)WWF/E title change up to the current day, which is a nice touch. Each of the three discs cover specific eras; the first disc cover everything up to the 80s, the second disc 1990s, and the third disc is everything up to today-ish. A good selection of championship matches, with some important stuff featured here.

THE BAD
If there is any real criticism to be had, it’s that there’s no footage of the earliest title change from Sammartino’s first win to anywhere before Billy Graham. Instead, you get a little text blurb describing the event. It’s entirely possible such footage is lost to the annals of time and that’s why they’re not included. Still, it’s something whose omission is felt immensely, even if it might not appeal to the more modern fan.

IS IT WORTH IT?
Overall, it’s a good collection of title matches and it was nice to be able to see Andre the Giant’s only world title win. If you haven’t picked this up, go ahead and do so. In any case, it’s way better than the crap calling itself sports entertainment that on TV these days.

DVD Review – McMahon (2006 DVD)

In memory of Vince McMahon’s hair, I present a quick review of the McMahon DVD. This’ll be the first DVD review I’m doing (goodie) and also the first review that works under a different format than I usually do, so we’ll see how this works.

For some reason, people at World Wrestling Entertainment felt the need to compile a DVD retrospect on Vincent Kennedy McMahon. I don’t know why, but the DVD was made and I picked it up, just for a few laughs on how they would explain some of Vince’s mishaps.

THE GOOD: For the most part, the DVD is pretty extensive, as they talk about Vince’s uprising and the expansion of the WWF, as well as discussing a few “questionable” angles of recent years. Nothing flaky there, but then they bring up the WTBS deal with Ted Turner, spinning it as though they were getting great ratings to a point where Ted wanted to buy a piece of the company (many other written accounts tell a different – more accurate – story). There are just many things that are given a different spin here that it’s absolutely nuts (the XFL didn’t cost a lot to do, but lack of support from UPN forced the project to be canned… QUE?), but it makes for an entertaining romp. For those interested, the DVD includes Vince’s Slammy dance number in its entirety.

THE BAD: They skimp over the early-90s for some reason; it would have been nice to heard Vince’s thoughts on the WBF (his short-lived bodybuilding company) and the steroid scandals. The extras aren’t anything to write home about; just some more interviews and a select few of McMahon’s matches. None of them are great, although I did enjoy watching the first Austin/McMahon non-match from 98, as I hadn’t seen it the first time around. Other than that, nothing special.

OVERALL: If you want a good retrospect on the history of WWE, McMahon isn’t what you’re looking for. Revisionist history aside, this offers a good look behind the scenes as well as brief snippets of what goes on in Vince’s head. Worth a look if you’re remotely a fan of McMahons.

RATING: 6 / 10

DVD Review – Mortal Kombat (1995)

Picked up the Mortal Kombat DVD for ten bucks (to go along with the new Lexmark printer) and got to see it again. Apparently, that’s enough motivation for writing a quick review or something.

Released in 1995-ish, the original Mortal Kombat movie is based somewhat on the original Mortal Kombat video game. For those who don’t know the story, demon sorcerer Shang Tsung holds a tournament for Earth’s greatest warriors and winner challenges champion Goro, who has won nine previous tournaments in a row. A tenth victory would allow Tsung’s emperor to rule the Earth. Riveting stuff.

THE GOOD: Unlike the previous video game-to-movie adaptations which came before it, Mortal Kombat sticks pretty close to the source material. Yeah, some stuff is changed around, but it isn’t that big of a deal and it still makes for goof movie stuff. The fight scenes are well done; some characters even pull off their special moves from the games without making it look entirely ridiculous. The acting isn’t all that great, but it’s not downright horrible.

THE BAD: The techno soundtrack was probably a good thing back then, but watching it now, it seems so dated. Funny considering every movie these days have techno-this and techno-that as their soundtracks. Whatever.

OVERALL: Mortal Kombat is one of those rare video game movies that does the source material justice and for the most part, it still holds up today as a fairly entertaining flick. In a time where video games movie comprise of rush jobs and Uwe Boll trainwrecks (some of which I have seen… sadly enough), a rare good flick is something to celebrate. Check out the original MK movie (forget the sequel). The DVD ought to be pretty cheap at this point.

DVD Review – Star Wars Limited Edition DVD Release (2006)

2004 saw the release of the “original” Star Wars Trilogy onto DVD for the first time ever… and with a new format comes further changes and “updates” to the films, such as minor graphical edits and the swapping of Force ghosts. While people were thrilled with having these films on DVD, there were those who would rather have the original, unaltered versions of these classic films on DVD instead; a point of contention that still exists to this very day.

Fortunately, Lucasfilm threw the fans a bone with this 2006 Limited Edition DVD release and the results were… well, it’s something.

THE GOOD: Each movie includes 2 discs; the first disc being the then-latest 2004 DVD release with further changes added to the film (in fact, these are exactly the same discs you’d get from that initial release.) And the second disc includes the original theatrical version of the film; which means Star Wars is just Star Wars and not Episode IV, Ewok music ends the Trilogy, and the Emperor is depicted by an old lady in monkey make-up in Empire. Doing it this way provides a nice compare-and-contrast for those into details and minutae while making two camps (updates vs. original) mildly satisfied for the short term.

THE BAD: While the original theatrical releases are indeed included as a bonus feature, the same care that went into the DVD restorations of the “updated” versions obviously didn’t apply to the original versions, which are apparently ripped from the Laserdisc releases. Now if you don’t care about the visual quality, then this is no biggie since it’s not completely terrible… but it’s also not on par with the restored version. Also, since the movies were released separately, you don’t get the bonus DVD of bonus material that came with the original DVD release.

IS IT WORTH IT? I got the 2004 DVD release, but then eventually got the 2006 re-releases because I wanted the original versions of these films on DVD, even if the transfer quality isn’t fantastic. I don’t know if it’d be worth it today since Blu-Ray is a thing, these things are harder to come by, and most would prefer the Unspecial Special Edition that’s been on the bootleg circuit for years on end, but if you find one in the wild for cheap, sure why not?

DVD Review – WWE: The Best Of Intercontinental Championship (2004)

WWE’s Best Of Intercontinental Championship is not a new DVD release, but rather it’s a re-issue of an old Colosseum Video compilation from 1993, featuring five matches from 1992-93. Beyond that, it’s a very barebones, very basic release with no additional features or bonuses of note. For what it’s worth, you’re getting the following matches.

– IC Champion Shawn Michaels vs. Crush from a ’93 show in England.

– IC Champion Bret Hart vs. Skinner from a 1992 episode of Prime Time Wrestling and pretty much the oldest match on the tape/disc by virtue of featuring Bret Hart as the champion.

– IC Champion Shawn Michaels vs. Marty Janetty from a July ’93 episode of RAW.

– IC Champion Shawn Michaels vs. Mr. Perfect from Summerslam ’93.

– IC Champion Shawn Michaels vs. “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan from a May ’93 episode of RAW.

THE GOOD: Well, it was a relatively cheap DVD. I think I only payed about ten bucks for this thing. Also, if you’re an HBK fan, you have a nice collection of matches from his first two IC title reigns. The matches against Janetty and Perfect are the highlights.

THE BAD: It’s a straight-up re-release of an old Colosseum Video release with no extra bits and very basic menus to navigate. Not only that, but there’s only five matches and other than the two I mentioned in the “good” segment, the rest of the matches aren’t exactly worthy of being dubbed the best of anything.

OVERALL: For a cheap re-release, it’s something for old-timers. But anyone who wants a collection of good Intercontinental championship matches should probably get the History Of The IC Championship DVD set that was released years later, where there’s not only more (better) matches, but there’s also variety, which this re-release lacks.

GameFAQs Review – WWE RAW 2 (Xbox)

For quite some time, wrestling (or sports entertainment) has been in existence. Sometimes, it’s the hottest thing going on while oftentimes, it’s nothing more than an afterthought. The whole real-or-fake question often comes into play even though the business was exposed a few years back. In any case, what is well known is that since the 1980s, there have been a multitude of wrestling-based video games. Some good, some bad, and some strange. In the case of the X-Box, there were a few of them, but were lacking compared to games on other consoles. For this review, I decided to review the one I felt was the best of the bunch on the console.

WWE Raw 2 is the follow-up to the lackluster WWF Raw game that appeared on the X-Box prior. At first glance, it seems like the game has added much needed features and gimmicks to what was essentially a poor barebones package. But is it really deeper than before or is it more of the same?

Continue reading “GameFAQs Review – WWE RAW 2 (Xbox)”

GameFAQs Review – Showdown: Legends Of Wrestling (Xbox)

In the late-90s, Acclaim made some WWF wrestling games. Well-regarded but criticized for their use of button sequences to perform even the simplest of wrestling holds, Acclaim eventually lost the rights to the WWF franchise to THQ. They managed a couple of games based on the cult promotion ECW before that company went under. Now with only one company in the wrestling threshold (WWE), Acclaim had managed to sign some names of the past to use their likeness in a game called Legends of Wrestling. It was a moderately good game, though not without its issues. The same can be said for the second game in the series. So Acclaim decided to bring in a new game engine, sign more legends, and aim to create the ultimate wrestling game for the old-school fan.

The end result isn’t what they hoped to achieve… and the final product, while still a decent game, has too many problems going against it that it’ll turn off some people. But let’s not jump ahead here and get on the review.

Continue reading “GameFAQs Review – Showdown: Legends Of Wrestling (Xbox)”