Category: Written Reviews

Recently got to see this one yesterday, which is surprising to me because I didn’t even know they made another Bean movie until my mother told me about it. Anyway, in this movie, Mr. Bean wins a train trip to Cannes and through his various acts, trouble comes a-brewing.

Not being a big fan of Bean and having seen a few episodes as well as that first flick ten years ago, my expectations weren’t all that high. This is pretty much the same Bean you’ve seen on the show and the first movie and that seems to be enough, as it’s still a pretty funny flick. Even ten years removed from the movie when he lasted played the role, that Rowan guy can still pull it off. Of course, there were some dragging moments, but that’s to be expected with a lot of movies.

If you’re a fan of Bean, you’ll want to watch this movie. If you’re not, this is still a funny, well-done film, although I’d advise you to pick up the movie and some TV episodes if you want to get Bean at his best.

About a year ago, the hype machine was started off by a bunch of random Internet users over a film called Snakes on a Plane. Despite not knowing much of anything about the movie, it sounded like a cool movie… and hey, it was gonna have Samuel L. Jackson in it, so it has to be good. Of course, the movie bombed when it came out despite the buzz it had going for it. Those that did see it either loved it or hated it. I didn’t get to see it until recently; a full year after the buzz has died down.

If you’re looking for something deep in plot and characterization, then what the hell are you doing reading a review about a movie called “Snakes on a Plane?” The movie has one of the most absurd plots ever conceived (so absurd that the title says it all) and yet it’s awesome. It’s not a good movie and it doesn’t intend on being a good movie. The reason it’s an awesome movie is because it’s an absolutely terrible movie with a ridiculous plot, a cast of characters so one-dimensional and transparent you really don’t care when they get killed off by the poisonous snakes, and the dialogue. Most bad films end up being enjoyable because of certain aspects and you’d have to turn off your brain to enjoy it and this is one of them. It’s not the best popcorn flick out there, but it’s certainly a better bad-movie than some other crappy bad-movies featuring a popular actor and concept *cough* Catwoman *cough*.

Snakes on a Plane is a good bad-movie and if you enjoy a good bad-movie, then check this flick out. Jackson shines in this flick. Let’s hope that despite the bomb, it gets a sequel.

The Evil Dead trilogy is an interesting piece of business when you look at the grand scope of the whole thing. In the beginning, you had the original Evil Dead film, which was a decently conceived horror flick built on a crummy budget, some amateurish performances, and a lot of Bruce Campbell getting the crap beaten out of him and then covering him in said crap.

On the other side, you have the Army of Darkness, a much slicker film with a bigger budget, but is more of a comedic fantasy film; its horror aspects having been somewhat toned down from that early effort. However, sitting in between these two very opposite films is the middle child of the trilogy, Evil Dead II: Dead By Dawn.

Evil Dead II represented the series’ transition from pure horror movie to slapstick comedy; I believe Bruce Campbell referred to it as “splatstick”. This sequel – a partial remake that retells the first movie but a sequel nonetheless – is more light-hearted than the original and whatever horror elements are used in comic effect. The movie isn’t taken as seriously as it was the first time around and I think that helps a bit as it gives the Ash character some personality instead of just the gutless coward that he was in the first movie.

Don’t confuse light-heartedness with kid-friendly; despite having comic moments, this is still partially a horror flick and there is gratuitous gore and graphic violence. It doesn’t really go overboard however; there weren’t any tree rapings like in the first one. Still, there’s a bit more money put into this one. Bruce Campbell is on the verge of finding that voice for Ash that he’d eventually develop in Army Of Darkness and the rest of the cast that ended up roped into this party turned out slightly better (if not some cliche) performances on this second go-around.

Evil Dead 2 is probably my favorite of the three films. It retains some of the horror aspects that made the first movie memorable while starting to invoke some of Army Of Darkness’s playfulness without leaning into full-bore parody. Army may be the more quotable one, but there’s plenty of good stuff in Dead By Dawn.

Having heard about the series of movies for a while but never having the chance to watch them until recently, I’ve managed to throw my two cents on the cult Evil Dead trilogy. Chances are it’s nothing you haven’t heard before, but let me have my piece.

If you want to know about how Bruce Campbell became a cult figure for his portrayal of the idiot Ash Williams, then by all means, DON’T WATCH THIS MOVIE. The subtleties of Ash were introduced in the sequels (Evil Dead II and Army of Darkness). The original Evil Dead contains no slapstick nor witty catchphrases; it’s a straight-up horror film and one that is quite effective despite its age and cheap look.

The first few scenes are mere fluff pieces that introduces us to the victims… er, I mean, characters. The acting in these scenes are okayish; not the greatest, but not utterly horrific like in other horror movies. Then you get to the actual horror stuff and it doesn’t really let up until the tail-end of the movie. While it is cheap looking (the budget wasn’t really that high), it still tends to be effective even in this day of high-end special effects and cheap gimmicks. For those wondering, Bruce does chickenshit Ash well here, although he doesn’t really shine until the sequels. But let’s not jump ahead.

The original Evil Dead movie proves that you don’t need a billion-dollar budget or high-end production to produce a good horror flick. If you can find the DVD (which includes a few outtakes and commentaries, including a great one by Bruce Campbell), pick it up.

Next up: Evil Dead II.

I remember the hype that went behind this movie. A fairly Super Bowl commercial, a FOX special, a bunch of related shows or something… I don’t remember the exact details, but I remember that there was a movement that was pushing this movie as a big deal. So much hype back in the day…

Back when it was released in 1996-ish, I thought Independence Day was a fairly satisfying movie. It didn’t have the most original plot in the world (aliens attempt to conquer Earth and it’s up to the humans to repel them – where have we NOT seen that one before?), but it was still a thrill to see the special effects, thrilling aerial battles, and whatnot. Some ten odd years later, the movie has lost much of its luster, but not so much its fun element.

Those “exciting” special effects? They still serve a purpose and they’re still okay, but nothing special. The plot is somewhat thin and the slow scenes are fairly slow enough to get you out of the mood. Even the tense moments seem predictable and it’s not due to repeated viewings. Despite all this, it’s still a fairly decent popcorn flick worth killing a night if you have nothing better to watch. It’s not a sophisticated movie, it’s not a masterpiece, it’s just a fun little action flick with aliens and lots of explosions.

Independence Day is worth a look if you’re looking for a quick fix of action movies, but anyone looking for high art should look elsewhere. Good messy fun.

Yeah, so, for some weird, perverted reason that escapes me, I was compelled to rent a copy of John Cena’s hit WWE Film THE MARINE. You may recall WWE making a major push for people to watch this thing when it came out. Hell, you may recall that this was a bit on this humble web space for a time before the joke got tiresome.

Following the release of their first film See No Evil – the greatest horror movie ever made according to WWE – WWE Films begat THE MARINE, featuring then (and still) WWE Champion John Cena as a former Marine named John Triton (real creative in making the protagonist’s first name as the same as the actor’s. I’m sure Tony Danza would approve) who must save his girlfriend from a bunch of criminals. From there, we get a second-rate action movie that seems to rip off every single action movie in the book until the inevitable conclusion. Somewhere along the line, I stopped caring and read a book, which was unfortunately far more entertaining and enlightening.

The good news is that The Marine is not the worst movie I have bore witness to; that (dis)honor belongs to the Halle Berry flick Catwoman… though sometimes I will remember that Ready To Rumble exists, at which point I’ll ram my head against a wall once or twice before the selective amnesia kicks in. However, The Marine isn’t a bad movie in the sense that it’s so bad it’s good. It’s a bad movie in the sense that it’s not really that interesting or even exciting. For every action movie cliché this movie churns out, you can probably think of thrice as many flicks that could pull off the same trick, but better. “Perty ‘plosions” are nice and all, but mean nothing if there isn’t a strong backstory or even a remotely interesting conflict to drive the action. The Marine has neither of these things and it ends up being a ho-hum action film with a generic plot line. Not even the T-1000 himself, Robert Patrick, could save this flick.

I rarely have a good thing to say about Cena because I’m not a fan of his wrestling work, but given some good material, he could possibly shoot out a couple good movies. Those movies aren’t going to come from WWE Films, however. He has the talent and charisma to drive the movie, but the material he’s given is absolute garbage.

If you’re a fan of Cena, just stick with watching his matches and promos on RAW and avoid this movie. Trust me; you’re better off watching his crappy matches than his crappy movie.