So it was last month that I was finally able to get the WWE Network… that is to say, the Canadian version of the WWE Network that happens to be the premium cable channel (which is supposedly based on the live stream of the US version or something). At the moment, the On-Demand version of the Network is accessible to Bell subscribers and that sorta makes me sad… but at the same time, this premium channel version ain’t too shabby, either.
There’s a lot of repeated content during the week; lots of Countdown shows (they’re okay), lots of Monday Night Wars shows (they’re so so… though how the fuck did they get Vince Russo there?), and of course, lots of Total Divas… and I can honestly tell you that I’ve seen enough Total Divas to justifying my not caring about the Divas division. Seriously, there’s a reason why the NXT ladies get more TV time on that hour-long show; they’re simply more interesting characters. But there are some good stuff there… I’m actually enjoying that Legends House show, for example; probably the best piece of original programming they’ve created for the thing.
I suppose if there was anything I look forward to on this network channel, it’s Thursdays, where they show a bunch of classic content. Thus far, I was able to catch a few Clash Of The Champions, a couple episodes of Tuesday Night Titans and Monday Nitro… there’s even the oddball episode of Monday Night Raw (from the “bad” old days of 1996) show on there. Just last week, I caught a Starrcade (1989, I believe.) It is not the full-on library that I would’ve liked, but for the moment, this sates my wrestling fix quite nicely.
I’m liking the Network quite a bit and when there’s good stuff on there, it’s really good. And when there’s bad stuff, it’s really bad.
Which brings me to last Monday.
I’ll admit to having skimmed through the thing – a common thing for me to do these days since there was no way I was going to sit through three hours of tripe. There was the opening Sting promo and his encounter with Nipple H and McSon-In-Law that did nothing to get me excited for their match this Sunday… this match that is the Stinger’s first-ever WWE match, by the way.
I see a bunch of guys fighting over a ladder to reach a championship title belt that’s hanging high on a hook for whatever reason. Unless there’s a ladder match later on the show, there’s no reason for this to be here. Were there two IC title belts hanging above the ring of a Monday Night Raw before Wrestlemania X, where there was a title match?
I see TJ Wilson and Nattie Neidhart doing a Burger King promo… say, remember when D’Lo Brown and Mark Henry did a promo for McDonalds?
And then there was the final segment… the one that ended with the tug-of-war between Roman Reigns and WWE World Champion Abeyance. This is the shot that’s supposed to sell me on this main event for the granddaddy of them all. This is supposed to sell me on Wrestlemania… THIS.
Watching this RAW made me realize something that I didn’t think what cross my mind. It took me a couple days to reconcile this feeling, but it finally dawned on me. For the first time since I started following wrestling back in 1998, I am not looking forward to Wrestlemania. There is almost literally nothing on this card that has me excited or anything that I’d enjoy. And with the signing of Abeyance to a multi-year deal, I’m dreading how they’re going to book next year’s Wrestlemania, which takes place in a bigger stadium… no doubt bringing back all the old-timers to wrestle matches because they can’t be bothered to make the effort to make new stars… that’s plural, by the way.
Honestly, when Sunday rolls around, I’m more tempted to pull out my old VHS copy of the original Wrestlemania from 1985 and just watch that show instead. Because hey, that show had a much better build than this year’s fucking waste.
(2019 Update: You think it’s bad now?)
(2024 Update: It’ll get better eventually. Just give it another decade.)
dtm666 