Category: Wrestling Musings

All posts related to pro rasslin’ that isn’t covering specific shows or events.

Random Thoughts On… 16X Cena

What are your thoughts on the possibility of John Cena winning his 16th World Title and how big of a deal it would be?

Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised in the slightest if Cena ends up getting another world title reign or two because one way or another, it’s going to happen. Whether it takes place at Summerslam or whenever, it is going to happen and it wouldn’t be the worst thing ever. Some people might be miffed at the idea of Cena tying or possibly breaking Ric Flair’s record for World Title reigns (official records and Ric himself said it was 16, so that’s what I’m going with), but I’ve always believed that if anyone were to break that record, I’d rather it be Cena than Triple H.

How big of a deal would it be? Nowhere as big of a deal as WWE would make it out to be if it happened, because a World title win nowadays isn’t that big a deal. Especially since there was a long stretch of time where it was very easy to get World title reigns. And that’s something that’s been lost; is that the World Title is supposed to be the Ultimate prize, the holy grail, the crown… and it’s just degraded to a prop whose sole purpose is to move the story forward. And unfortunately, there hasn’t been a time where the title felt important since Daniel Bryan won it back in Mania 30. Because when he won it, it felt like a big deal because he treated it as such and you’re able to buy into it.

John Cena wins the title at a ladder match and it’s like… meh. Brock Lesnar beats John Cena in an overrated performance that everyone calls dominant and awesome, but is more like dull and boring. But, he has name value, so there’s this pretense that he’ll bring that importance to the World Title, but really is just to fuck off at his farms for the rest of the year until they need him for random appearance that isn’t Wrestlemania. And while Seth Rollins cashing in was a high point in that main event, what happened afterwards felt otherwise. But I don’t want to rag on that. Cena possibly win a couple World Titles? Wouldn’t surprise me. Would it be that big a deal? Not a chance. Because if Brock ending the Streak didn’t feel like a big deal, why would this?

BOOK REVIEW – Journey Into Darkness: The Unauthorized History Of Kane (2005)

“I think you’d have to be on cocaine to enjoy it.”
Blade Braxton, Wrestlecrap Radio

So, 2005 saw WWE release a fictional book detailing the story of Kane, the Undertaker’s half-brother who debuted in 1997 and caused a big scene… and then bit by bit, that aura dwindled with stupid stories like Katie Vick, unmaskings, and corporate Kane. Fortunately, Journey Into Darkness was published long before that last bit took place and in fairness, I want to give the author credit in trying to reconcile all these different plotholes in WWE narrative into one cohesive story.

I mean, the poor bastard tried.

The book is poorly written… sometimes it reads fine, sometimes it reads bad, and then there are moments when it is unbearable (but those times are few and between). Here’s the thing, though; I enjoyed the book because I like the wrestling product. There’s a certain level regarding suspension of disbelief that you’d have to attain in order to follow wrestling. If you’re NOT a wrestling fan, though, then this book will do NOTHING for you. You’ll be reading this thing wondering, “What the hell is going on here?” And while the story is certainly readable for the most part and isn’t remotely terrible, it doesn’t make any attempt to make sense to the people who are picking this up without prior knowledge of the wrestling product.

If you’re a fan of the Big Red Monster and are remotely interested in his backstory, then Journey Into Darkness is probably worth a look. The story does its best to explain the various inconsistencies with the Kane backstory, but is marred down by generally poor writing and the fact that this is trying to make sense out of a narrative concocted by a company who didn’t give a rat’s ass about cohesive narratives unless it was convenient to them. There’s a “clever” attempt to try and make this grounded in reality by using real names here and there while maintaining their hokey fake story and for what it’s worth, you can’t help but admire the attempt.

I don’t know. If you’re into trainwrecks in literary form or want to know how WWE makes sense of its nonsense (and fail), then this is worth checking out. Otherwise, there are plenty of more worthwhile books to check out – either within the wrestling or fictional realms.

Random Thoughts On… Kevin Owens After Cena

Do you think Kevin Owens tapping out to John Cena killed Kevin Owens?
No. Kevin Owens will be just fine. I didn’t like the finish, mind you, but it kinda makes sense because he started off strong and he got knocked a peg or two and now he has to work his way back up. Honestly, if KO were to have won, then what? You go from beating John Cena for a championship to what? Feuding with Cesaro like it’s another mid-card match? He’d have nowhere to go but down. I mean, nothing against Cesaro; that dude’s a fucking genius in the ring (not the Lanny Poffo kind, but the other kind) and him and KO in a match one-on-one? Shit, I’d go for that. But Cesaro’s no John Cena in terms of value.
So, look, I didn’t like the finish, but after sitting on it for a couple days, I’m like “Okay, makes sense.” Whether they decide to do anything with him is another story and I hope he gets another shot down the line because he’s one of the genuinely freshest characters they got now; a classic loudmouthed asshole that’s easy to hate because contrary to what Jim Ross preaches, you don’t have to cheat constantly to hammer in the point that you’re the bad guy. You gotta be a dick. And KO does a good job of being a dick and getting people to hate him that he doesn’t need to cheat. He probably could if he wanted, but what’s the point?

Hogan Doesn't Know Best

If I could offer a piece of advice to the Hulkster… please, for the love of God, fuck off social media. Not on a permanent basis, mind you, but for the foreseeable future. At least until this whole thing blows over… which might take longer because of your constant retweeting of other comments that were designed to suck yo… wait, that’s an image nobody wants.

Seriously, though, Hogan’s retweeting people telling him he’s not a racist seems more like an attempt to cover up the fact that he really is. And for those wondering, I’m not implying that he is. I just want him off social media so he could deal with this behind closed doors. Sometimes, laying low and be silent is the best strategy to rehab the strained image.

Fun With Twitter

From the Twitter feed;

Funny how WWE shitcans Hogan for racist comments, yet HHH, who did a racist angle with Booker T at Wrestlemania, is still gainfully employed. Also, Vinnie Mac once shot similar racial slurs on WWE TV. Why don’t we give him the Benoit treatment too? Not to mention all them Hall Of Famers who have said much worse. Maybe we should get rid of them too. And hey, while everyone is distracted, why don’t we sneak in Chyna into the Hall? She might’ve done porn, but at least she isn’t racist.

“WWE has a zero tolerance policy on racism.” Right, that’s why Alberto Del Rio was fired while the racist who offend(ed) him still has a job. Don’t get me started on all them racist gimmicks over the years. MexiCools. Half-Blackface Piper. Muhammad Hassan. Puerto Rican Matadors. Saba Simba. Kamala. Repackaging a Latino wrestler into a white dude who says “If it ain’t white, it ain’t right.” The list goes on and on.

Yeah, so that was a thing.