Category: Musings

Star Wars Original Original Trilogy Coming To DVD

On this May The 4th (B Wit U… twit), this bombshell announcement from the starwars.com:

Fans can look forward to a September filled with classic Star Wars nostalgia, led by the premiere of LEGO Star Wars II: The Original Trilogy video game and the long-awaited DVD release of the original theatrical incarnations of the classic Star Wars trilogy.

In response to overwhelming demand, Lucasfilm Ltd. and Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment will release attractively priced individual two-disc releases of Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. Each release includes the 2004 digitally remastered version of the movie and, as bonus material, the theatrical edition of the film. That means you’ll be able to enjoy Star Wars as it first appeared in 1977, Empire in 1980, and Jedi in 1983.

See the title crawl to “Star Wars” before it was known as “Episode IV”; see the pioneering, if dated, motion control model work on the attack on the Death Star; groove to Lapti Nek or the Ewok Celebration song like you did when you were a kid; and yes, see Han Solo shoot first.

This release will only be available for a limited time: from September 12th to December 31st. International release will follow on or about the same day. Each original theatrical version will feature Dolby 2.0 Surround sound, close-captioning, and subtitles in English, French and Spanish for their U.S. release. International sound and subtitling vary by territory.

“Over the years, a truly countless number of fans have told us that they would love to see and own the original version that they remember experiencing in theaters,” said Jim Ward, President of LucasArts and Senior Vice President of Lucasfilm Ltd. “We returned to the Lucasfilm Archives to search exhaustively for source material that could be presented on DVD. This is something that we’re very excited to be able to give to fans in response to their continuing enthusiasm for Star Wars. Topping it off with a new interactive adventure makes September 12 a red-letter day for Star Wars fans.”

No witty comment from me today.

DOA Movie Trailer

Originally posted on November 24th 2005:

Someone had managed to get a copy of the teaser trailer for the Dead or Alive movie, based on the series of fighting games featuring big-boobed women. All I can say is… WTF Indeed!

Just a few minutes ago, I caught a glimpse of the teaser for the movie again. Of course, now that I’ve shed my DOA virginity, I can comment on it a little more clearly… it’s still gonna suck and I don’t need any experience other than the game’s bouncing boobs to see that. Not that it doesn’t follow the game story or anything, but it just looks like a poor man’s Charlie’s Angels… with worse actors.

Another bit of info I recently realized as I researched this thing: Kevin Nash plays Bass Armstrong here, the pro-wrestler daddy to Tina, one of the bouncing-boobs in the game. If the two ever collide in the movie, Tina doesn’t have to worry because Nash will probably tear a quad trying to act.

If you don’t get the reference, it’s a wrestling thing.

So I’ve said it before: WTF indeed.

On a sidenote, apparently people are disappointed that Silent Hill is a subpar movie despite the kick-ass trailer. Welcome to the wonderful world of media hype.

Later, kids.

New Screwy Day

From insidepulse.com:

Survivor Series 2007 will take place in Montreal, marking the 10-year anniversary of the Bret Hart Screwjob, according to WrestlingObserver.com.

Frequent DTM Blog readers might recall a certain blog post from last week which went something like this:

Another point that has been brought to my attention: Today in wrestling history; ten years ago, Shawn Michaels beat Bret Hart in a 60-minute Iron Man match for his first WWF World Title. I’m bringing this up because a lot of other wrestling sites are doing it, but if you’re reading this post, do me a favor and don’t complain to WWE for driving the Montreal screwjob to the ground. And don’t tell them to move on, because you know they’ll milk it for all it’s worth when THAT tenth anniversary comes around.

Coincidence, folks? Hardly.

Why would Vince McMahon or anyone in WWE ignore quite possibly the most infamous event in wrestling history as much as everyone else tries hard to do so? While I never suggested they hold the show in my neighborhood, it doesn’t mean the thought hadn’t crossed my mind… I never really believed that they actually do it, but shows you how much I know. Then again, this isn’t the official word, so take this information with a grain of salt. Furthermore, I shouldn’t be bringing you wrestling news on a blog of all places.

Later.




EXCLUSIVE: Wrestlemania 22 CANCELLED!

According to an anonymous source, WWE has cancelled Wrestlemania despite sold-out tickets and massive buyrates. To add more insult to injury, no refunds are offered. When inquired about why the 22nd iteration was canned at the last minute, wrestling czar Vince McMahon replied with, “YOU’RE FIRED!”

Further reports indicate a hitman was sighted in Chicago. He had already taken down former WWE official Tim White with a sharpshooter and is currently on the run. Sources say it might have been Bret Hart, who had been gunning for Shawn Michaels. Apparently, he read my post.

And if you believe all that, I have farmland in the Dagobah system. Sell ya cheap.

April Fools, would-be WWE.com viewers.

Ten Years Ago… The Fix Was In

Another point that has been brought to my attention: Today in wrestling history; ten years ago, Shawn Michaels beat Bret Hart in a 60-minute Iron Man match for his first WWF World Title. I’m bringing this up because a lot of other wrestling sites are doing it, but if you’re reading this post, do me a favor and don’t complain to WWE for driving the Montreal screwjob to the ground. And don’t tell them to move on, because you know they’ll milk it for all it’s worth when THAT tenth anniversary comes around.

I’ll see you in eighteen months.

Quick Thoughts On The Recent Saturday Night’s Main Event Revival

According to RAJAH.COM, SNME did a 3.4 national fast rating, thus indicating that showing wrestling on a major network did nothing to increase interest in the product… well, it would have helped if the show was actually, you know, any good. Unless NBC is in a happy mood, don’t expect another episode of SNME to air anytime soon.

I mean, come on guys. Just because your currently crappy shows are getting “huge” ratings on lowly networks like USA or UPN doesn’t mean they’ll fly on a major network like NBC… Of course, you can always blame it on the NCAA tourneys, but you can just as easily blame it on the crappy weather.

This doesn’t bode well, but if they get another shot, maybe they’ll do a better job… or not.

So yeah, for anyone who cares, NBC is airing the return of Saturday Night’s Main Event, the old WWF show of the 80s and early 90s that has become a token WWE TV special. As much as I enjoy the prospect of catching a WWE show, I felt not much has been done to give people a reason to care about this show other than the fact that it hasn’t been on the air for thirteen years.

So for the sake of clarity, there’s only three matches that I’m covering here. I ain’t going to do the beer-drinking contest because that’s an Austin thing that always goes the same way… and let’s forget the women’s match, which had a hot angle going before it dragged and became usual WWE diva fluff that I really don’t care for anymore. So let’s begin this thing – raw and unformatted:

Booker T versus The Boogeyman
Hmm… on second thought, make that two matches to commment on, because we all know Booker is going to lose this one.

WINNER: Nobody. The match never happened.

Shawn Michaels vs. Shane McMahon – STREET FIGHT!
So Shane McMahon gets his bumpfest match this year. Let’s not kid ourselves – if it wasn’t for the fact that he’s the boss’ kid, Shane-o-Mac would have been a top contender for the World title. Not a seasoned wrestler, but he’s sort of like Mick Foley-lite, but with more teeth. But because he’s the boss’ kid, he gets to fight and bump endlessly before losing the match to HBK – just so he could contribute to Shawn’s feud against Vince… who has to get in yet ANOTHER Wrestlemania match.

WINNER: Nobody. We got a re-enactment of Survivor Series 97; HBK as Bret Hart, Shane McMahon as HBK, and Vince as himself. Time-honored tradition my ass.

John “Boring” Cena and Triple “Vince Jr. Jr.” H vs. Kurt “You Suck” Angle, Rey “Eddie-lite” Misterio, and Randy “Resthold” Orton
Actually… ah crap. I’ve got nothing today, guys. Sorry. Let’s go with Boring and Vince Jr. jr. and call it a day, alright?

WINNER: Boring and Vince Jr. Jr. Hey, somebody had to win a match on this lousy show.

Man, they should have kept this show buried.

Later.

Useless Post For The Day

“I love writing this blog. You know why? Because none of you ever comments on it. I know you’re reading it. The hits register. You just have nothing to say.”

The above quote is from the recent issue of the new Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man comic series. And it sort of applies to this blog. Actually no. If you haven’t comment on any of my posts, it’s either because you do have nothing to say, you’re not reading, or because commenting is turned off.

The girl in the comic probably should have checked to see if her commenting function is active. Maybe she’d get more comments… Oh well.

Legend has it that a year consists of 365 days (mostly) and that if I had posted at least once a year, I’d be nailing more posts than I currently have. Of course, most of my posts would be probably be akin to something like this:

“Nothing interesting happened today.”

Then again, it’s only the morning… but there’s a reason I’m not updating a hi5 or myspace, which I do have but never use.

And I gotta go.

WARRIOR. GOLDBERG. TEE EHN EH.

Apparently some people have had problems getting access to the Blog. Truthfully speaking, so have I. I don’t know what the problem is, but the fact that I’m posting and you’re reading means that whatever was wrong has been resolved.

Since I AM here for the moment, I’ve decided to comment on a few things of random nature.

As much as I don’t want to include any references to that so-called self-destructive former wrestler and current motivational speaker whom everyone hates, I can’t help but comment on Warrior’s recent post, where he entertains the idea of TNA signing both himself and Goldberg to let them beat the crap out of each other, thereby creating tons of heat and money.

Not to sound pessimistic (or realistic, whichever you choose), but the last high-profile Warrior match (Halloween Havoc 1998 vs. Hollywood Hogan) was really, really bad… so bad that I almost swore off watching WCW PPVs. Also, the last high-profile Goldberg match (Wrestlemania 20 vs. Brock Lesnar) was filled with audience hatred and malice towards both guys… although it was probably due to the fact that both guys were leaving and that the audience were New Yorkers and would boo a poodle if they had the chance.

Having said all that, I would entertain the idea of a match-up between these two on a TNA PPV. It’ll probably make the usual 0.9 buyrate that most PPVs from the company makes. Intensity and charisma aside, these guys are older and in Warrior’s case, hasn’t been an active wrestler in years. If the match ends up being something watchable (as in extremely short, where both guys work best), it would be a modern-day miracle at best.

Strange purchase story: I’ve picked up a used copy of Capcom vs. SNK 2 for my X-Box. For some reason, though, the game came with the instruction manual for the GAMECUBE version. Go figure.

Gotta go. Later.

Eddie-Sploitation: Because Necrophilia Just Wasn’t Low Enough

Yeah, it’s been a week but last week’s headache was painful and took a while to go away. Now I’m back to my regularly depressive self instead of sick. Probably just as well, because I probably would have written something a little more intense than what’s here.

So I’ve been watching last week’s WWE Smackdown episode (which I regularly tape for my cousin, who doesn’t have The Score or UPN networks) and once again bore witness to yet another mindfuck of stupidity from the WWE braintrust… something about Eddie being in hell or something. Now I don’t know about you, but I sort of expected this kind of behavior… not like I’m some kind of expert or anything. No doubt people watching the incident are appalled that they would stoop to such a low level.

You know what? I’m not upset… I’m not upset that they went that direction because I would have been surprised if they hadn’t dragged Eddie’s name to the mud further than they already have. So no, this doesn’t particularly upset me. What does upset me is the knowledge that all of these tasteless gimmicks and creative brainfarts are doing nothing but cheapening a very real, very tragic death of a man well-respected and well-liked by many of his peers and fans. It’s one thing to exploit a death of a fictional character and call it entertainment. It’s another to exploit the death of a real person and drag his name into the mud for the purpose of getting the big rating.

Randy Orton is currently a generic heel whose value has been crippled thanks to one-sided feuds with Triple H and Undertaker over the past couple years. It’s almost a shame that, to make him more hated, he’d have to resort to defaming Eddie. That sort of shows how great a heel he is… as in not great at all. It all shows a quick effortless shortcut to getting cheap heat. Given a good storyline and good matches that play on his strengths, Randy may very well build a legacy of his own and be one of the greats. As of now, he’s just a guy who’s getting cheap heat bashing a respected wrestler who passed on for real.

Just to steer aside for a moment… Another thing that seems to be raising havoc are the Tim White skits featured on WWE.com. For those who haven’t witnessed these yet, these are short, five-minute clips featuring former referee Tim White attempting to commit suicide and failing. The clips are supposed to be funny, but in reality they’re too stupid to be funny… try asking someone who has had loved ones commit suicide if those skits are funny. These morbid exercises in line-hopping and dumb skits are part of the reason why I don’t watch as much modern-day wrestling as I used to… or much TV for that matter, but I digress.

Now according to spoilers, Randy’s degredation of Eddie’s good name continues. I’ll probably post follow-up comments tomorrow or something when the show airs later tonight.

The Suicidal Chronicles Of WWE Referee Tim white

Tim White was a moderately successful WWF referee who had officiated some classic bouts (on both ends of the stick) until a shoulder injury ended his career while officiating a Triple H match. Mr. White shortly retired after, but the match had caused him so much turmoil that his entire family left him and turned their backs on him. Now alone with only the Friendly Tap bar as his drinking buddy, poor Mr. White has had enough.

One day, on a WWE PPV during an interview with Josh Matthews, Mr. White pulled out a shotgun and attempted to shoot himself, but he dropped the gun and shot his toe instead.

Some time later, Mr. White tried digesting rat poison, but the brand had proven to be ineffective against humans (hence the reason it’s called rat poison) and so Mr. White survived.

Mr. White tried to hang himself, but fortunately the rope broke. Mr. White even miraculously survived an attempt to die via dropping a plugged toaster into a bathtub that he was in.

Recently, Mr. White went for the old fashioned method of killing one’s self: slitting his own wrist. Despite the gruesome depiction shown on WWE.com, we have the utmost confidence that Mr. White will survive this latest brush with death and cornball sports-entertainment angles that don’t entertain that well… which explains why they’re ONLY on WWE.com.

You just CAN’T make this shit up, folks.

The sad and most disconcerting thing about all this is that eight-nine years ago, during the Attitude era of sex, drugs, and generic rock music, Vince once said there’d be no guns and knives – even shirts bearing this credo were sold at the time. Somehow, I seem to be the only one who remembers that little quip.