Category: Gaming Personalities

So, Chris “Irate Gamer” Bores posted his HD trailer for the next episode of his show… about games featuring the 7UP spot and his usual bag of skits.

Really, Bores? 7UP? That’s the best you’ve got for this “return” to form? I’m sure his critics will have more to say on the matter than I will, but… really? 7UP?

I’m not going to start a diatribe on Chris Bores; pretty much everyone has a set opinion on him. So I’ll cut to the chase.

GotGame recently redid their website (a much needed redo, in my opinion, as the previous design was terrible) and of course, Bores has produced an Irate Gamer Neo episode on God of War III. The whole vid lasts roughly a minute and a half and doesn’t really say much as to merit a look.

On his Youtube channel, Bores posted a “preview” video for that new episode, which lasts about 45 seconds… that’s right. A 0:45 preview video for a 1:45 video review… that’s pretty sad, man.

Chris “The Irate Gamer” Bores recently updated his website’s design. Don’t know who Chris Bores is? Look him up; I’m not a damned biographer. And I’m not going into the whole controversy that surrounds him. I just want to talk about his website and nothing more.

It’s a minor change on the main page; moving the navigation buttons from the side to the top and minor moving around of certain bits and pieces. Aside from that, it’s not a huge update.

How long has he had this site template for? Roughly four years. I think it’s about time that he went ahead and overhauled this thing. He says that he’s upgrading the production values of his videos by going into HD – not to mention that he’s going to ask people for a new logo (which I never, EVER liked – just a rather bland and unimpressive logo) – why not follow suit with an all-new site upgrade that is much more presentable and cleaner than what he has now?

As it is, the site looks plain; basically like it was thrown together on one of those Yahoo Pagebuilder things back when Geocities was still up and running many years ago. The coding has to be messed up as well because I can recall several occasions where just entering his website would CRASH MY BROWSER. This has nothing to do with a weak-ass browser – the site is generally plain in its design, lacking any sophisticated flash apps that would slow down a weak computer, with not much thought put into it… AND YET IT CRASHES MY BROWSER.

Now admittedly, it doesn’t happen as often these days… but it’s still a worry every time I go to his site… and I hardly ever go there because of that reason… well, that and he hardly ever updates the thing.

So yeah, I’d definitely be in favor of a new web design for Bores’ website. I’d suggest switching to a blog-style design since that tends to be easier to update and manage. And people can comment on your various posts.

But on the other hand, this being Bores, that’s probably not going to happen.

For the most part, the complaints are valid and as a whole, the episode was okay. However, the jokes were lame and predictable (Pee Bag, that fucking Glitch Gremlin) and the anger was lacking. Seems like he forgot to be angry.

So yeah, overall, a fine episode. Let’s hope next month’s episode is about a BAD game and not mixed bag games, game glitches, or Action 52… especially since Armake21 did a fine job of covering that game.

For the past couple years, James Rolfe has been going to E3 along with the Screwattack crew and had partaken in some videos covering the event.

This year, a decision was made to have James Rolfe do a couple quick E3 videos… as the Angry Video Game Nerd.

God shoot me.

Here are a few quips:

“I’m surrounded by electronic video games. I didn’t even know they still made video games.” You know, I think James Rolfe is an exceptional entertainer at times, but that has to be one of the stupidest lines I’ve ever heard. Really? You didn’t know they still make video games? This is bordering IG-levels of incomptence.

So he shows off the line for the Nintendo 3DS and whines about how he’s not standing in line. Not yet… I think he’s on cruise control with this. At least when Screwattack showed off the long-ass line to try out the Wii a few years back, it was mildly entertaining. But the Nerd just points to a crowd and whines about not wanting to wait… What’s the point?

He shows off Donkey Kong Country Returns… which is actually the first time I’ve heard of it. And from what I can tell, it looks really nice and similar in style to the SNES games of old… but much cleaner and more vibrant.

“Since when did Diddy Kong use a fucking jetpack?” What does it matter? Since when did Mario wear a Penguin suit?

The last one he played was Donkey Kong 64… yeah, so? That was my last one too before the series turned to Mario-Minis and Kongo Bongo games.

“Does anybody know what a Skyward Sword is?” Um… yeah. It’s a sword… that’s skyward.

The Nerd would like to see a dark grim-and-gritty Zelda game… at this point, I would like to kick his head in. The urge is rising. You know, Hudson and Konami tried that with Bomberman a few years back and that game was FUCKING HORRIBLE.

Kirby: Epic Yarn… wow, now that’s a rather neat concept, judging from the screenshots. But why spend 20 seconds on the damn name? Are you kidding me? Really? Ladies and Gentleman, we have dipped far below IG-levels of stupidity… I mean, that barrier has been penetrated. Un-fucking-believable.

And that’s just Day 1. I tried watching his other two E3 videos and I just want to shoot myself after doing so. This is absolutely horrendous. Pure donkey shit is what I’d call it. Unbelievable.

You want an entertaining E3 overview? Check out Classic Game Room. Mark does awesome stuff… and has unhealthy obsessions with Cosmic Carnage and flamethrowers… but I actually enjoyed that.

Okay, okay… it should be noted that in addition to the AVGNE3 Trilogy of Shit, James also appeared in a couple of the Screwattack recap videos where he appears as himself and not the Nerd persona. Why he couldn’t have done this (be himself and not the fucking overrated Nerd) with the GT videos – I don’t know… maybe it was a GT decision. Still kinda stupid.

But yeah… Classic Game Room.

You know the angry reviewer shtick is lost on you when the guy who originated the concept is no longer interesting.

Case in point: AVGN’s Cheetahmen episode was informative and filled with gameplay for Cheetahmen, the unreleased Cheetahmen II, and the Genesis version of Action 52, but as informative as it was, it was also pretty damn boring. I don’t know; maybe it’s just me, but AVGN’s recent stuff has been somewhat lame as of late. Just seeing this guy attempt to be angry is becoming damn-near embarrassing. Just about the only guy I’ve seen who could convincingly pull off the angry gimmick is Dr. Ashen – doesn’t scream or bellow to get his point across, but  does convey anger in a way that is both funny and not ridiculous.

So, sorry, James. Less quantity didn’t bring out more quality.

This will lead to a rant on the angry reviewer cycle soon. Just wait.

YouTuber Asalieri thinks Nostalgia Critic jumped the shark and after a few more posts, I somehow came up with this reply (split into two bits but lovingly re-assembled for your reading displeasure… and yes, this is how I actually feel and not some attempt to be a dick):

I pretty much gave up on NC months ago due to general lack of interest. I mean, you can only watch him pull Big-Lipped Alligator Moments so many times before it gets boring. That, and I’ve been slowly veering away from anyone clinging to the ridiculous “angry reviewer” gimmick like it’s gold or something. It’s sad seeing these guys attempt to be angry by screaming their lungs out and using colorful analogies that make no sense whatsoever. There’s a difference between being angry and being ridiculous. And a good majority of these “angry reviewers” tend to be ridiculous… and yes, that includes the internet darling, AVGN.

I also don’t care for any attempts at adding “narratives” or “storylines” to a review – not strictly a Critic thing, but it’s something common with most of the TGWTG. That’s what really turns me off over the constant crossovers and obligatory masturbatory meme fillers. What’s the point of these storylines other than to distract from the review or utter pretense of a review? It’s ridiculous. If they want to do storylines, they should keep them separate from the reviews… or don’t do them at all. I kind of expect this act of stupidity from the Bores, not from anyone remotely competent.

TWO walls of text… wonder how many people will bother to read through this?

By the way, flame shields are up. Red Alert. Arm the photon torpedoes.

I wrote this brief blurb on my other site, under DTM Blog Post #1189

This was my thoughts on Chris “Irate Gamer” Bores’ then-latest entry into his long-running (read: takes forever for him to put out) History Of Video Games series. Note the part at the end where I’d say that I’d ignore him to the foreseeable future and think about how long that stuck… not that long, I’m afraid.

No break, this time. It’s not that long of a piece anyway.

So the Irate Gamer, after months of delay due to hard drive failures and other excuses, has finally uploaded the second part of his “History of video Games” series… which is just a review of the Magnavox Odyssey… and it’s supposedly split into two parts. Now I’ve seen the episode and… yes, it seems like I’m falling asleep.

You know what? I try to give the guy a chance. I really do. Despite all the bad rap he gets, I figure I give him a chance and hope he somehow redeems himself. Sure, people call him a knock-off and a plagiarist… and sure, he gets a good chunk of his information wrong, but even after all that, I was willing to give him a chance in hopes that maybe, just maybe he’d produce a product that goes beyond the usual sloppy servings he had uploaded as of late.

Guess what? It hasn’t happened.

Maybe it’s just me… but isn’t the point of a “History Of…” to touch on important events in a timely manner? I’d figure it’d be the best thing to do and easy to mock up. So why am I getting reviews of Space War (not even the actual version, but a random Flash version) and Computer Space when they should just be significant footnotes in the story? Why am I getting a review of the Magnavox Odyssey when it’s supposed to be a historical retrospect? And why, for the love of God, are we getting TWO PARTS of this?! Just discuss the console a bit and move on! This is supposed to be a HISTORY RETROSPECT!

It should be noted that the Angry Video Game Nerd already did a review (2011 Update: more of a general overview than a review) of the Magnavox Odyssey and he only took ten minutes to review most of the necessary components outside of the light gun, which he demonstrated its use by shooting at the TV. Now there’s probably more to the Odyssey than that, but the Nerd’s review was advertised as that… a review. (2011 Update: again, more of an overview than a review… and I could have done without the stupid Nerd Terd or whatever it’s supposed to be called.)

Now, I’m not going to declare myself a hater or anything like that – but I am simply going to ignore the man for the foreseeable future. Until he can produce something that is actually worth my time, I’m not going to bother anymore. (2011 Update: said ignoring was ignored.)

Sorry, Chris. But you fail.

(2011 Update: To be fair, later installments did drop the “review” format and just go through various items and games quickly… the accuracy of the information is questionable, but this series is mostly harmless and if anything, has sometimes inspired me to look up some of the historical points online.)