Category: Gaming Personalities

On The Other Hand… Da Bores

So some time ago, I had written a post declaring how god awful the recent episode of the Nerd series was. And for the record, I have yet to play this Hong Kong game and thus will also have to do so the same way the rest of the Internet does… through an emulator. (Expect a review of this next April Fools, when such a review makes sense to make.)

On the other hand, we have Da Bores making a video on Kid Icarus… and it’s about as much as you’d expect a typical Irate Gamer episode; lots of unfunny puns, lots of over-exaggerations, lots of unfunny gags, lots of predictable jokes, lots of repeating jokes in a vain attempt to make someone laugh, more dying on purpose, and more acting like a complete idiot for the sake of acting like a complete idiot. There is even an eggplant that is killed for the sake of the end bit. Suffice it to say; if you enjoy Irate Gamer videos, you might enjoy this one. But if you didn’t… well, there’s not much to change your mind on.

The one thing that I can credit Bores on – for all of his faults, his inaccuracies, and the somewhat dubious nature of his claims – the one thing I give him credit on is that HE KEEPS THEM SHORT – roughly within the 10 to 15 minute range and more often than not, less than that. And with his “storyline” over and done with, he actually keeps them relatively simple. I don’t tune into an Irate Gamer video for an in-depth review or an overblown plotline featuring lots of cheap gimmicks and shitty acting; I just want to watch a guy who knows very little about games act like a complete moron. And dangnammit, that’s what I get.

With that having been said, however, this was lacking something in the humor department. Throughout the whole video, I had to struggle to find something laughable here, whether intentional or otherwise, and I didn’t get much of that here. I also have to knock points off this video for swiping a clip that was obviously of lower quality than the rest of it, as well as the predictable ending which involved said eggplant. Not going to spoil it here, but I’m sure you can figure it out yourselves.

In any case, if one were to pick a winner in this “feud” that nobody should give a shit about these… you know what? I’d say fuck both of them and give Board James a watch; now THAT’s a Cinemassacre show that’s actually worth watching these days, especially the recent episode on the Omega Virus.

The Nerd Touches Hong Kong 97… I Plant Face To Palm

My reaction after watching the latest Nerd snorefest.

This was bad. This was very bad. Not THAT bad… but still very bad.

I honestly didn’t think that this series could get worse. I didn’t want to believe it. I felt that while the series had fallen from its pedestal of humor ages ago, it still had its moments… sometimes. The 12 Days Of Shitmas marathon, while not high-larious and boasting a couple worthless episodes (Crazybus, for fuck’s sake), there were a couple decent entries. Ren & Stimpy: Firehouse wasn’t too bad and I thought his Hyperscan episode, while not ha-ha funny because it’s retread territory, it did look at the various games in “detail” compared to other videos who were more content in mocking the system’s inability to read its trademark cards. See, I can find something to like in this Nerd series.

And yes, I’m just calling it the Nerd series. These days, he doesn’t do a whole lot of anger… or even video games for that matter.

So I didn’t think this series could find its way of breaking through the bottom of that barrel and digging itself to the other side of the planet, but somehow, James Rolfe has found a way to make a once humorously quaint little series spill into the depths of utter decadence and debauchery by building a drawn-out and completely pointless episode around one of the most shallow and worthless games ever conceived… a game, mind you, that has been covered, reviewed, mocked, and eviscerated by who knows how many people online. It is not exactly a hidden turd that has been left undiscovered or untouched – people know about this thing, especially within the internet gaming community.

And the sad thing is that Rolfe has a nice little gaming series in James & Mike Mondays that, while derivative of other “Let’s Play” pairings such as those Game Grump people or whoever, is perhaps the most watchable gaming show that they’ve got. Reactions are genuine, the banter is, more often than not, complimentary to the experience rather than a distraction, and if nothing else, there is a sincerity and humbleness to this that is completely lacking in the Nerd series. I can watch this and get a couple laughs and giggles out of this, even with some of the more crass humor that I’ve grown out of enjoying from their camp. If there was anything from James Rolfe today that I’d recommend watching from a gaming standpoint, I’d say check out James & Mike Mondays. That’s a good show.

The Nerd series, on the other hand? Purely self-indulgent at this point. Taking a worthless game that shouldn’t take you more than three to four minutes tops to say “it’s fucking shit” and turn it into this padded-out horse manure that tries to be intellectual and high end, but really, it’s no better than sitting through an episode of the Irate Gamer show… which is equally as terrible, by the way.

Any way we can convince Kenny The NC17 Guy to come out of retirement?

On the bright side, though, the OneUp Gamer – the once-high-pitched boy who did a bunch of silly but otherwise enjoyable videos including two on Back to the Futer (sic) – made a return to the living a few months ago with a quality review of American McGee’s Alice before falling off the face of the Earth yet again. Yes, kids; unlike some other online folks who stuck around long past the expiry date, he actually got better. Do check it out by clicking here.

Retired? I Thought You Said You Were Tired…

So… that blog lambasted Chris Bores for announcing his intention to continue his Irate Gamer show, shortly after a sample video of that series’ next episode was posted. As a matter of fact, the insightful title of the guy’s latest blog post is So Much For Retirement! Actual “Irate Gamer” is Coming Back. Because how dare Bores bring back something that people like so much… for whatever reason.

I guess the chucklehead who runs the blog failed to recall that Doug Walker once retired the Nostalgia Critic in 2012 and it took him a few months to go back to the well. Certainly, far less time than it took Bores to do the same. I’ve got dates and everything…

September 14, 2012 – Nostalgia Critic is “retired”
January 13, 2013 – Nostalgia Critic is unretired
Elapsed Time Of Retirement: Four Months

July 21 , 2014 – Irate Gamer is announced as “retired” in subtle mention of Chris Bores bio
March 11, 2015 – Irate Gamer is “unretired” with a teaser video
Elapsed Time Of Retirement: Eight Months*

How sad is it that the only “angry reviewer” type to keep that gimmick retired – save for special occasions – is Kenny The NC17 Guy?

*In fairness, the most recent episode and final episode of his “fourth season” was posted in April. It would be around eleven months retired, but still a longer period than Walker.

Let Chastise A Man For Disrespecting Another Man's Memory With Further Disrespect.

So let me tell you a little story…

Last year, a somewhat-notable and beloved internet personality committed suicide. A rather shocking event to those who supported the guy. I never knew the guy nor have I seen any of his content, but I’ve heard him mentioned here and there. So basically, I had no connection with him. He was another loss in a continuing line of them and his presences will no doubt be missed by those who did.
Some time later, another internet personality – one that’s a little more notable but also a little more notorious, to put it mildly – is asked about this recent suicide by this one individual and he says things that might not go over too well and naturally, some people got offended… which is understandable. However – and I don’t want to sound like I agree with this individual, because I don’t – but I also understand that suicide is a touchy subject. It’s not something that’s seen in a positive light and it’s not something that everyone is going to agree on as far as many aspects are concerned.
I knew someone who committed suicide several years ago and I’ve heard similar comments made. Of course, I was offended, but at the same time, I also knew there were people who would feel that way. Again, suicide is a touchy thing. Not everyone sees it the same way. So while I was offended by such comments, I held no malice towards the person who made them. I still talk with the guy every so often.
But then again, that person is not a polarizing internet personality who has been the recipient of tremendous heat over the years and who has been the subjective of an overtly obsessive blog with a seething, irrational viewpoint that everything this guy does is terrible.
So when those comments were made – which were said on the guy’s facebook page that’s closed circles only, so it’s essentially a private or restricted forum similar to inviting only a few people to your house rather than let it be open to all – naturally, this blog picked up on it through their “Facebook Informant”.  And they would run with it. They wouldn’t touch on it all the time, but every so often, they’d bring it up and they’d bring up what a horrible person this guy is… and of course, every year, that blog does a year in review. And on top of that list, that point gets brought up. And because of that obsessive viewpoint to tear down this guy over comments that he made regarding this other guy’s suicide – that somebody asked him about; he didn’t shoot out of his own volition, someone ASKED him about it and he gave his honest thoughts without thinking about it… presumably the same “Facebook Informant” that broke the news – but because of that viewpoint, I’m starting to despise the other guy. Not because of his suicide, not because of anything he’s done or hasn’t done, because of what he now represents… because my only knowledge of the man is that he was a personality who committed suicide and whose suicide was trivialized because someone they obsess over said something bad.
For those who need more context, I will sum up my thoughts in brief.
Justin Carmical did not commit suicide so that a certain blog could use a lapse of judgment by Christopher Bores as further fuel in their obsessive campaign to hate on the man. Telling me I should hate Bores because his beliefs over Carmicals’s suicide conflicted with theirs is a graver insult to Carmical’s memory than anything that could come out of Bores’ mouth because that tells me that Carmical’s suicide is nothing more than a trivial afterthought to these people. So my only memory of Justin Carmical is that he’s the guy who committed suicide and whose suicide was used as fuel in a campaign to hate on another guy because he said things they didn’t agree with. And because of that, I feel nothing but malice towards Justin Carmical and what he now represents in regards to these people.
Let me tell you something; that is not a pleasant thought. I shouldn’t have to feel that way. But suicide, and to a broader point, death in general, is a very touchy thing. It is something that is very fickle and something that everyone reacts differently to. It’s the kind of thing that anything that is said about the matter is bound to offend somebody out there and I’m sure there’s something in my words that people will find objectionable or offensive. And that’s fine. It’s not something people like to talk about. I don’t like talking about it, which is why I never said anything when it happened last year.
There are better ways of honoring Justin Carmical that doesn’t involve this sort of thing. Watch his past content, discuss his better moments, share in some pleasant memories. Let this Bores thing be a footnote and focus on the good memories. Because focusing on this one thing is a much graver insult and a much more disrespectful, or rather, disgraceful act to the man’s memory than anything that could come out of Bores’ mouth.
On a side note, this same blog did a brief note on the passing of Ralph Baer and that post originally featured more nasty things directed at Bores, but that portion of the post was edited out and I applaud that blog for it because not everything needs to be about Bores.
If only that same forethought and restraint was shown in regards to the late Justin Carmical.

5 Days Of Shitsmas… Living Up To The Label

For anyone who cares about my thoughts on the “12 Days Of Shitsmas” AVGN marathon… the name is indeed appropriate.

Day 1: Tagin’ Dragon
Not much to say about this one; typical Nerd thing.

Day 2: ALF (Master System)
I’m assuming Mike Matei wrote the script for this one because this has his trademark puppet sex fetish obsession all over this one. Terrible episode.

Day 3: Crazybus (Genesis)
Like I said in the video, it’s a fucking tech demo.

Day 4: Ren & Stimpy: Fire Dogs (SNES)
This one’s alright. Not quite funny, but there’s enough here that it could pass for a review… somewhat.

Day 5: Rocky & Bullwinkle (NES)
Terrible, predictable, unfunny, the epitome of non-medy, felt like I was watching an old NC17Productions video rather than a Nerd video… although given the quality of the substance, the two are practically interchangeable.

The Nerd Does E.T. Proper, No Need To Watch The Movie

The Nerd “review” on E.T. The Extra Terrestrial for Atari 2600 is now online, thanks to Cinemassacre. In reality, it’s the same “review” from the end of the movie, but with the “real” E.T. game instead of the movie stand-in. If the review was the only thing you cared about, then you now have no reason to rent or buy the movie.

My thoughts on the film are forthcoming… assuming I can get over these health things.