Six months after the mission was cancelled, former captain Archer takes matters into his own hands and enlists some unexpected help.
This is a sequel to my “Too Hot For Fanfiction.Net” parody fanfic, These Were The Voyages. I may have another one in me if I can find the time.
Disclaimer: Paramount owns Star Trek, not me.
Continue reading “ENTERPRISE: These Aren’t The Voyages (You’re Looking For)”
2025 Notes:
A one-shot “pilot episode” of a series that was never intended to be. The general idea was to take the first season version of Wesley Crusher – the version that was obnoxious and was made to be smarter than all the professionals on the ship – and make him captain of the Enterprise. This was based on readings of Wil Wheaton’s TNG reviews that were eventually compiled into a book called Memories Of The Future.
Shortly after posting, I got a couple comments accusing me of being a Wesley hater – “obviously” because of the overexaggerated nature of his caricature. People seemed to have overlooked that it was intended to be overexaggerated. It says so in the disclaimer as stated below. This was harmless comedy that took something from an actor’s rummaging of his older work and took it to eleventy billion. Also, a Wesley hater would have seen Wesley die at the end of this story; mine ended with Wesley’s daydream interrupted by Captain Picard demanding he get off his chair.
No ill-will towards the character… though I sadly can’t say the same for the actor who portrayed him these days.
Continue reading “The Adventures Of Captain Wesley Crusher (PILOT Episode)”
The crew of the Starship Enterprise NX-01 received some unfortunate news regarding the future of their mission. A completely tongue-in-cheek parody written shortly after news of Enterprise’s cancellation hit.
FUN FACT: This story was briefly posted on Fanfiction.Net before it was taken down due to what was deemed “disregard to proper language.” I have no idea what they mean by that, but I never made another attempt to repost the story on there, so consider this a Webstation exclusive (for whatever that’s worth.)
Disclaimer: The author would like to remind readers that Star Trek and related properties are owned by Paramount/CBS Consumer and not the author.
(2025 Update: So this piece, which was written in 2004 shortly after Power Rangers Dino Thunder – the umpteenth season of Power Rangers notable for bringing Jason David Frank back into the PR fold – was going to be the annual fictional interview that I’d do with a random fictional character and just have some shits and giggles. This never got posted for some reason until maybe years later, when it was part of a Webstation redesign that lasted all of two weeks before it was back to the drawing board. And so, here it is again… for better or worse.)
Introduction
Originally written sometime in 2004 around the beginning of the Dino Thunder incarnation of Power Rangers, this interview was going to be a return of the fictional interview bit… except that this was never posted. So here’s the first little piece of history.
Continue reading “My Conversation With… The “Real” Tommy Oliver”
What mysteries lay within the hidden room of Bram’s Mansion?
Just a fun little thing.
Disclaimer: Castlevania is (C) Konami.
Last year, I wrote a fake interview with Superman, who turned out to be a different take from the usual Superman take. No one bit on it and for good reason… well, here we are again with another fictional conversation of sorts… and today’s guest would say that his kind never do these sorts of things… but then again, he’ll say that about a lot of things that he wouldn’t want to do.
There are good Klingons and there are bad Klingons. Good Klingons have high regard for honor. Bad Klingons don’t. Good Klingons are fighters who are willing to die. Bad Klingons are cowards and don’t want to risk their lives for common fights.
And then there’s Worf.
Worf can’t be classified as either a good Klingon or a bad Klingon. In fact, he can’t even be considered the Starfleet Klingon because then you’d have to neglect B’Elanna Torres of Voyager (never mind the fact she’s only half Klingon – it still counts!) So how does one describe Worf?
Well, Worf is a pretty unexcited fellow. He claims Klingons do not laugh, and soon he discovered that Klingons not only laugh, but they go targ-hunting, eat worms, and kill people purely for entertainment sakes. Worf eventually became an ambassador, but that job didn’t last long and was soon an officer with a small role in Nemesis. Worf, now on leave after killing more imaginary cowboys in the holodeck, has decided to grace his presence and grant me some (fake) interview time.
The results are as follows… and was hidden from view for years for a very good reason, I’m afraid…
Continue reading “My Conversation With A Man Who Klings On His Honor”
So King Of The Ring 98 is known primarily for two things; Hell In A Cell and also Kane defeating Stone Cold Steve Austin in a First Blood match (thanks to a deliberate chairshot from Undertaker) to win the WWF Championship… which he would lose the next night on RAW back to Austin in order to pop some sort of rating… which they didn’t need to do because they were already handing WCW their ass, but I digress.
So the thought occurred to me the other day… what if Kane had been champion a little longer than a day? Maybe… let’s say about a couple weeks before the next PPV. Give Austin something to chase for a bit. Could you have produced some compelling television with that piece of business? I don’t know… maybe…
Here’s the thing with that angle. It could have worked because of the Undertaker factor. The whole thing with Taker and Kane and whether they’re in cahoots or not probably would have worked better if Taker was doing whatever he could to protect Kane and his title from harm… not necessarily out of brotherly love, but mostly so that when the time came, he’d be the one to challenge Kane for the title and no one else. Maybe you keep Austin off TV for a week or two to sell the chairshot he ate from Taker before he comes back and issue the man-to-man challenge to Kane, who accepts at the next PPV and then while Undertaker gets his title shot at Summerslam, Austin regains the belt from Kane and then we can do business as usual.
It could have been interesting, I suppose… but then again, am I just waxing nostalgia for the good old days or am I just doing whatever I can to avoid talking about the current WWE product… which is kinda, sorta sucking right about now?
I dunno… just a thought.
Another fictional conversation with another fictional character. Believe it or not, there’s another one in the works.
So a while back, I had come across MAD About Superheroes, which was a collection of MAD Magazine strips and pieces about superheroes. One of the pieces included was called “Superman R.I.P.” and was no doubt released during the hype period surrounding the Death of Superman story in the 90s… and yes, Superman is still around today, so that amounted to nothing.
Anyway, in one of the frames, Superman is shelling out his guts to a therapist and the thought occurred… what was the guy actually saying during that session? I don’t know, either… but I ended up writing this thing, which turned out to be… quite something else.
Originally dubbed a “Fictional Interview” but retitled something less mechanical and soulless… and yes, there are more of these to come.
dtm666 