
A bench in the botanical gardens.

A bench in the botanical gardens.
So after RAW’s glitchy abysmal rating, Mr. McMahon strikes back by announcing that he did fake his death… to hide any evidence of his rejuvinative powers. So what happens? William Regal wins a battle royal to become RAW General Manager. Well, it took them a year and a half, but RAW finally has a general manager.
Carlito’s Cabana becomes Cena’s Cabana. Holy Crap, this is a good reason why Cena doesn’t have a Cabana.
The Dating Game with Jim Duggans, Ron Simmons, and Santino… ugh.
Kennedy bored the shit out of me. And really… when the best promo guy on the show bores the shit out of you, it’s time to rethink your show.
Last week’s RAW may have scored a somewhat low rating, but at least it was a fairly watchable show. This one just reeks of crap. I’d rather watch No Holds Barred and Suburban Commando back to back to watch the rest of this putrid pile of vomit! If this is their answer to turn things around… well, keep trying guys.
Cue Ron Simmons.
DAMN!
Found this interview with actor Bob Hoskins (the detective guy from Roger Rabbit) that seems like a decent enough read. Why would I care about this story? Because of this timeless gem:
“The worst thing I ever did? Super Mario Brothers. It was a fuckin’ nightmare. The whole experience was a nightmare. It had a husband-and-wife team directing, whose arrogance had been mistaken for talent. After so many weeks their own agent told them to get off the set! Fuckin’ nightmare. Fuckin’ idiots.”
Amen, brutha. Amen.
If you’ve been following some of the wrestling sites, you’ll know that the last episode of RAW has scored its lowest rating in nearly TEN years. This is obviously bad news for WWE and USA Network, who are trying as hard as possible to come up with something to regain interest in the program.
Unfortunately, with the recent wrestling-related tradegy from back in June, it seems that any attempt to regain interest will be useless. I generally don’t like blaming outside forces for low ratings unless it’s justified, but this tragic state of affairs is causing people to tune out and disassociate themselves with wrestling in general. It’s one of those things that can’t really be handled in any good way.
There have been some mentions of a possibility that RAW might get cut down to a one-hour show. For the moment, I feel this is the best course of action, because it’s impossible to come up with good content for two hours on a weekly basis. Let’s be honest here: as enjoyable as the product tends to be, the consistency of quality in the product is lacking. This isn’t a result of the tradegy; it’s been like this for quite some time now. By cutting the show to an hour, you have less time to fill and thus more time to refine the stuff that will make it to air.
On the other hand, WWE currently has a one-hour show on the Sci-Fi channel and it’s not doing well on either a creative or rating standpoint.
Who knows what’s going to happen?
About a year ago, the hype machine was started off by a bunch of random Internet users over a film called Snakes on a Plane. Despite not knowing much of anything about the movie, it sounded like a cool movie… and hey, it was gonna have Samuel L. Jackson in it, so it has to be good. Of course, the movie bombed when it came out despite the buzz it had going for it. Those that did see it either loved it or hated it. I didn’t get to see it until recently; a full year after the buzz has died down.
If you’re looking for something deep in plot and characterization, then what the hell are you doing reading a review about a movie called “Snakes on a Plane?” The movie has one of the most absurd plots ever conceived (so absurd that the title says it all) and yet it’s awesome. It’s not a good movie and it doesn’t intend on being a good movie. The reason it’s an awesome movie is because it’s an absolutely terrible movie with a ridiculous plot, a cast of characters so one-dimensional and transparent you really don’t care when they get killed off by the poisonous snakes, and the dialogue. Most bad films end up being enjoyable because of certain aspects and you’d have to turn off your brain to enjoy it and this is one of them. It’s not the best popcorn flick out there, but it’s certainly a better bad-movie than some other crappy bad-movies featuring a popular actor and concept *cough* Catwoman *cough*.
Snakes on a Plane is a good bad-movie and if you enjoy a good bad-movie, then check this flick out. Jackson shines in this flick. Let’s hope that despite the bomb, it gets a sequel.
A couple of points on tonight’s RAW despite it not being over:
– Carlito actually brings up his first win over Cena from ages ago. Oh my God! Actual continuity is being respected here? Did we get a new creative team and I didn’t know about it? Holy crap! But of course, Cena has to reference the period to other things. For example, that was back when Britney Spears actually looked hot or Linsay Whatsherface had her first line or something. Hmmm… maybe I should add to that list. After all, that was back when Cena had a personality and knew a wrestling move or two that actually looked threatening. Fortunately, Carlito vindicates himself by beating Cena and spits an apple at him. Match was pretty watchable by Cena standards.
– Mr. Kennedy swats Bobby Lashley in the shoulder and wins. Well, no complaints here. Lashley may be a generic musclehead but unlike some muscleheads, he can sell the shoulder injury as a weakness and not as an afterthought. So my respect level for him is up somewhat.
– Umaga kills the Italian guy again. Next.
– Randy Orton kills Sgt. Slaughter… everybody acts like it’s a big deal, except people tend to forget that Orton already kicked Slaughter’s ass a couple years back. So I guess it’s the same writing team with selective continuity memory after all. Okay, I get it.
– The battle of the kings. Lawler wins via cheap DQ. I still don’t understand the point of this feud. Booker doesn’t like Lawler calling himself king and they fight, but nothing’s resolved and next week they’ll both be called king. Was there any kingship on the line? Someone clarify this for me because I’m confused.
– Triple H is coming back at Summerslam. Another case of “Who gives a shit?” Of course, he’s going to come back. He always comes back. He could have twenty bulletholes in his fucking skull and he’ll still come back to do his generic punch-kick offense with occasional knee strike and underhook piledriver. Why bother advertising his return when it’s inevitable and obvious that he’s coming back? Only the most oblivious and dumbest person around (read: anyone working for WWE*) would not know Triple H will eventually return after a hellacious injury. Fuck, even my old college buddy who doesn’t watch wrestling knows old Trips is coming back. So what’s the point?
All in all, a fairly decent show despite my gripes. Nothing noteworthy happened, but that’s okay.
*may not be anyone working for WWE
Contrary to an earlier blog post, you didn’t need SIX actors to portray Spock back in the 1980s. Instead, you needed NINE.
1. Leonard Nimoy – the original Spock
2. Launched Photon Torpedo – dead Spock
3. Photon Torpedo Tube – rotting Spock’s casket
4. Carl Steven – Spock at age 7
5. Vardia Potenza – Preteen Sexmate Spock at age 13
6. Stephen Manley – Teenage Spock at age 17
7. Joe W. Davis – Vulcan-Rage Spock at age 25
8. Director Nimoy – Nimoy-Spock hybrid
9. Baby – Baby Spock in Star Trek V flashback
(2019 Update: I guess you can add Ethan Peck to the list, who plays Spock in Star Trek: Discovery.)
So yeah, that’s a lot of people/things/stupidities to play one Vulcan. Wonder how many actors Tuvok has:
1. Tim Russ – Tuvok
2. A shitload of stunt doubles.
Okay, so what about the Vulcan chick on Enterprise? Well, see Tuvok but swap Tim Russ for that other chick. What was her name again? Jolene something or other… forgive me, I’m terrible with names.
(2025 Update: It’s Jolene Blalock… or just Jolene nowadays.)
So yeah, Vulcans are hard for one person to handle…
Or maybe it’s just me.
Good night.
Welcome to the Bite… and, well, this has been a thing…
Continue reading “Classic Bite Commentary #65 – July 28th, 2007”
The Evil Dead trilogy is an interesting piece of business when you look at the grand scope of the whole thing. In the beginning, you had the original Evil Dead film, which was a decently conceived horror flick built on a crummy budget, some amateurish performances, and a lot of Bruce Campbell getting the crap beaten out of him and then covering him in said crap.
On the other side, you have the Army of Darkness, a much slicker film with a bigger budget, but is more of a comedic fantasy film; its horror aspects having been somewhat toned down from that early effort. However, sitting in between these two very opposite films is the middle child of the trilogy, Evil Dead II: Dead By Dawn.
Evil Dead II represented the series’ transition from pure horror movie to slapstick comedy; I believe Bruce Campbell referred to it as “splatstick”. This sequel – a partial remake that retells the first movie but a sequel nonetheless – is more light-hearted than the original and whatever horror elements are used in comic effect. The movie isn’t taken as seriously as it was the first time around and I think that helps a bit as it gives the Ash character some personality instead of just the gutless coward that he was in the first movie.
Don’t confuse light-heartedness with kid-friendly; despite having comic moments, this is still partially a horror flick and there is gratuitous gore and graphic violence. It doesn’t really go overboard however; there weren’t any tree rapings like in the first one. Still, there’s a bit more money put into this one. Bruce Campbell is on the verge of finding that voice for Ash that he’d eventually develop in Army Of Darkness and the rest of the cast that ended up roped into this party turned out slightly better (if not some cliche) performances on this second go-around.
Evil Dead 2 is probably my favorite of the three films. It retains some of the horror aspects that made the first movie memorable while starting to invoke some of Army Of Darkness’s playfulness without leaning into full-bore parody. Army may be the more quotable one, but there’s plenty of good stuff in Dead By Dawn.
First there was X-Men. Then there was Marvel Super Heroes. Then X-Men came back and tussled with Street Fighters. Then it was Marvel’s turn. Then other Capcom heroes joined the fray. Now we get to Marvel vs. Capcom 2, where a whole bunch of fighters from both universes show up and beat the tar out of each in pixelated fashion. Admittingly, this can be a fun party game if you have a bunch of guys together, but does that equal a good game? Let’s find out.
Continue reading “GameFAQs Review – Marvel Vs. Capcom 2 (Xbox)”