MOVIE REVIEW – Mr. Bean's Holiday (2007)

Recently got to see this one yesterday, which is surprising to me because I didn’t even know they made another Bean movie until my mother told me about it. Anyway, in this movie, Mr. Bean wins a train trip to Cannes and through his various acts, trouble comes a-brewing.

Not being a big fan of Bean and having seen a few episodes as well as that first flick ten years ago, my expectations weren’t all that high. This is pretty much the same Bean you’ve seen on the show and the first movie and that seems to be enough, as it’s still a pretty funny flick. Even ten years removed from the movie when he lasted played the role, that Rowan guy can still pull it off. Of course, there were some dragging moments, but that’s to be expected with a lot of movies.

If you’re a fan of Bean, you’ll want to watch this movie. If you’re not, this is still a funny, well-done film, although I’d advise you to pick up the movie and some TV episodes if you want to get Bean at his best.

Oh Shat(ner)

Apparently the campaign to get Shatner on Abrams’ Trek flick continue as the former “Kirk” is whoring himself out in an attempt to get someone to convince Abrams to stick the Shat in there. And… the talks over at Trekweb are amusing as hell, with the Shat-fans saying that Nimoy betrayed his best friend or some other bullshit…

Doesn’t Shatner already have a TV show he’s doing right now? Shouldn’t he just stick with that? His days as Kirk are long gone and no amount of makeup or toupees is going to bring him back to form just for a useless cameo. Would it be cool to see Kirk back in action? Sure… when a younger guy plays him. If Shatner doesn’t fit into the equation, there should be no reason why he ought to.

Maybe it’s because I was born in the eighties when Trek movies were starting to come out, so I don’t have the same time of love for Kirk. Yes, I do believe he defined Trek. He’s a cultural icon that Shatner has molded into his own. That much cannot be taken away. However, the man is way past his prime as far as that role goes and it’s time for the mantle to be assumed by someone else.

Would it be nice to see Shatner in a Trek movie?

Sure… as the Enterprise chef.

PPV Predictions – WWE Summerslam 2007

2007 Introduction

Haven’t done one of these predictions in quite some time, so excuse me for dusting off the cobwebs. Anyway, you should know the drill by now: I list all the advertised matches and give my thoughts on who wins and what the actual match might entail. My only gripe seems to be that a lot of the matches here have been seen before in some form, but nonetheless, it looks fairly decent and it’ll be interesting to see how they handle the two returns.

Continue reading “PPV Predictions – WWE Summerslam 2007”

Anchorwoman Axed After One Episode… Sort Of

Now this is a story that is truly worth of a WTF moniker.

In a record-breaking cancellation move, FOX (famous for cancelling shows within a couple episodes) has cancelled the latest comedy-reality series Anchorwoman, featuring a former WWE Diva’s attempts to become a TV news reporter. Some people say the show was so bad it had to be cancelled after the first episode aired. I disagree because when I read the show got cancelled, my first thought was “Wait a minute. The show’s cancelled? I didn’t even know it aired!”

So, this is news that came across some wrestling news site somewhere because coincidentally that’s the only place you could find this sort of hard-hitting information that you apparently never knew you needed… except you really didn’t. This was a show that I’ve heard nothing – and I mean NOTHING about – frequently other sites of non-wrestling media, nor did I ever recall seeing any ads for. Is it the sort of the show that even FOX is embarrassed to allow even a full season run?

The world may never know… save for the few sad folks who somehow caught this on air.

POSTSCRIPT (2023)
Greetings from the future… today! Doing a bit of digging during the process and it turns out that while Anchorwoman was indeed cancelled after its premiere on FOX, it was NOT after one episode. As a matter of fact, the premiere featured the first two episodes aired back-to-back. So in truth, Anchorwoman was axed after two episodes that aired on one night. It was made available for a time on the FOX website – including a number of episodes that never made air – before being taken down and promptly forgotten about.

DTM BLOG Classics #32 – Birthday Gifts And Wrestling Bits

For anyone wondering what I got for gifts…

– Money. Yay.
– Another free PPV.
– A bunch of shirts.
– Shoes.
– That adidas cologne spray thingie.
– Fight Night Round 2 for PS2 (because Round 3 is missing).

That’s about it.

Who wants some rassling bits?

Continue reading “DTM BLOG Classics #32 – Birthday Gifts And Wrestling Bits”

Classic Bite Commentary #66 – August 15th, 2007

Welcome to the Bite… yes, it’s my birthday and I’m posting this commentary on it just for the few people who follow up on these commentaries. So you better feel special. Some of these are pure lazy-ass blog reposts (with special additional commentary).

Continue reading “Classic Bite Commentary #66 – August 15th, 2007”

COMIC REVIEW – Superman #666 (Oct. 2007)

So Superman’s long running series has reached the number of the beast, similar to how his other DC rival has reached the number. You could imagine the DC editorial meetings behind the production of this issue:

DC EDITOR #1: Lookie here, folks. Superman has hit six-hundred and sixty-six issues!

DC EDITOR #2: Wow, that’s incredible! How do we celebrate this momentous occasion?

DC WRITER: How about we show a what if tale about what happens when Superman is influenced by the devil from Krypton and decides to kill everybody?

DC EDITOR #1: Nah! That idea sucks! You’re fired!

DC JANITOR: Why don’t you guys just make him a dick for a whole issue?

DC EDITOR #2: Oh yeah! What a great idea! That’ll sell lots of issues!

DC EDITOR #1: YES! This will SO make up for our inconsistent progress of ongoing storylines spanning five hundred issues spread across the few thousand out there!!! You, sir, are a GENIUS! Here’s a promotion!!!

Ahem…

Let’s get this out of the way: the story behind this issue sucks ass. It’s rather pointless, it doesn’t make sense, it doesn’t play into the larger Superman mythos, and most of all, it’s one of the most cliched plotlines out there that was used simply because of the issue’s number. Anyone who is looking for great storytelling in comic books won’t find it in this issue because this issue doesn’t have it. Perhaps most of all, the plot is sort of misleading. This isn’t about Superman being controlled by the devil or being the Anti-Christ or anything like that; this is about Superman being a dick.

Yeah, that’s right. I said it and I’ll go ahead and say it again. Superman is a dick. If all those issues from the Silver Age don’t convince you of this fact, then this issue should be more than enough to kill any doubts you may have had about your favorite superhero.

THAT is what’s going to sell this issue. Superman is a dick all throughout this issue, as fourth-stringer heroine Zatanna will attempt to convince Superman to stop what he’s doing and Supes is like “Yeah, I know I’m doing bad things and I just don’t care” and will just blow her away or something. He does some nasty stuff to Jimmy (not THAT nasty, you pervert!) because the signalwatch buzzing annoys the hell out of Supes. This is superdickery at its absolute best and it is awesome. So yeah, the story sucks, because Superman being the dick he knows he could be just sells the book alone.

Forget the fact that a name writer and a name artist is behind the creation of this book: this isn’t about them. This is about Superman being a dick. Kurt Busiek does a good dick Superman and the art pretty much compliments the issue. It’s not the cleanest art and not my favorite, but it works.

Hats off to DC for allowing Superman to be his good old true dickery self for one whole issue and as a result, create a weird, screwed-up, fun story in a day and age when the most notable thing in comics are nonsensical crossovers and political overtones forced upon a story just because the writer gets a hard-on for them. While the issue does try to play upon some Christian values or something, it’s just fluff for the issue’s true motive. Anyone who longed for the days of Superman charging damsels-in-distress a rescue fee or stealing away Jimmy Olsen’s newly-earned cash will want to pick this up. But if you’re looking for something deep, you won’t find it here.

But come on. Superman’s a dick here. Just as everyone suspected…

P.S. – They didn’t do anything with Action Comics or Detective Comics when THOSE books hit 666. What the heck?

RAW (Aug. 13th, 2007) – San-Tee-No Plee-Zuh Shut-Te Uppe – That’s Amore

RAW at MSG – the show was admittingly better than last week and this bastard child angle is actually getting a few chuckles with Vince’s indiscretions. Some quick notes:

– Stephanie McMahon speaks… okay, I take back what I said about this show being better than last week.

– So they’re pushing Randy Orton as the next big threat by showing promo videos of all the legends he killed in the past few months. Yeah, I would feel threatened by a guy who’s making a career out of giving bloated legends past their primes a shitty little knee to the head. But I digress. At least they’re pushing Orton to be the next monster heel and hopefully he’ll end Cena’s reign of terror (at this point, I’ll side with just about ANYBODY!)

– Poor William Regal. Got the General Manager job and the only notable thing he’s doing is hosting rip-offs of game shows to advance a “love trapizoid” between Super Santino, Stupid Maria, Ron Simmons, and a piece of cheese. Fortunately, these are pretty fun so far and anything that involves the Iron Shiek should always be gold.

– So it’s been announced that Booker T will face Triple H at Summerslam. Because apparently, Booker hasn’t buried one too many times by the man of three Hs. It’s almost looking to be the umpteenth coming of the Ultimate Warrior and Booker T is assuming Hunter’s role of being McSon-In-Law’s bitch for ninety seconds or less.

That’s all I got. All in all, a pretty solid show that was at least better than what we got last week.

The TNA in TNA Wrestling stands for “Transparent Numbingly Awful”booking

So last night, at TNA’s Hard Justice PPV, TNA World champion Kurt Angle defeated X-Division/Tag Team champ Samoa Joe to win all the TNA Titles. This happened due to Angle’s wife pulling a swerve on Joe that was so predictable you had to be a total idiot not to see it coming.

What happened to being the wrestling alternative? The thing that was DIFFERENT from WWE, not copying the same bullshit. Instead, we’ve got a bunch of stupid storylines for the sake of being stupid. WWE’s storylines tend to be pretty moronic as well, but at least they end up producing entertaining matches even at the expense of young, fresh talent. Instead, TNA is slowly becoming a second coming of WCW. I mean, it absolutely boggles the mind how progressively bad they’re becoming.

All that talent and they have to push this shit down our throats? That’s just sad.

Then I watch their TNA Today Youtube show which took place at the tail end of their shitty PPV and you have Mike Tenay and Don West complimenting Kurt Angle on his wonderful swerve, suckering everyone into almost feeling sorry for you. Congratulations, guys. I never thought it possible, but you’ve won idiots of the year award… and the year’s not even over yet!

No wonder – Mike Tenay isn’t wearing his signature bow tie. Probably got released from its contractual obligations.

(2024 Update: I got around to watching this show recently. You can check my thoughts here.)

Give It A Rest, Guys.

I find it absolutely amazing that a couple years after Enterprise is canceled, co-creator and writer Brannon Braga is still getting flak from Trekkies over the direction of the series and some of his episodes.

Now Braga admits that he has regretted somethings that have come to pass, but that doesn’t change anything. And you know what? He’s right. Regardless of whether he regrets something or not, it doesn’t mean a damn thing. It doesn’t change a damn thing.

So do me and everyone else a huge favor and give it a rest, guys. Enterprise is dead and buried. It is not coming back. The guy’s moved on to other projects and so has everybody else. Leave him alone.

Good lord, can’t we be happy that somebody else is working on a new Star Trek movie? I, for one, am looking forward to someone else’s take on someone else’s property.

Now fetch me my tea… Earl Grey… hot.