Royal Ramble 1994

Skipping ahead to 1994 here…

For those who don’t know… this is home to the only instance where the Royal Rumble had co-winners and there’s a reason why they never did this again… because it was stupid. It was so stupid that when the same thing happened years later (not on purpose), they restarted the match. But setting that aside… there’s the rest of the show and, well, let’s get into it.

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Discover The Predictability

“Oh look! That Chinese movie star is a Star Trek captain. I betcha she dies in a couple episodes.”

“Look, it’s that Ash Tyler fellow who’s been on a Klingun ship for seven months. I betcha he’s really that albino Klingun, VOQ… SON OF FOQ.”

“Wow, that Captain Lorca dude is a bit of a dick. I betcha he’s from that Mirror Universe with all the evil goatees and shit.”

“Holy fuck! Another universe! I betcha they’re in THAT universe. Wink wink. Hey, where’d my goatee go?”

“Oh boy! They have an Emperor! I betcha it’s that Chinese woman who they killed off twenty episodes ago!”

At this point, there’s no point in producing mystery boxes for Trekkies. They’ll figure out your end game before you do… poor JJ Abrams learned that lesson the hard way with the whole Khanberbatch mess years ago. Just give us a good story and a fun ride. That’ll more than suffice.

Oh, and ease off on the diversity pride here. We’ve already had captains who were colored and female years before it became the “fad” it is today. Your only real accomplishment is a tasteful same-sex relationship whose main contribution is that it’s given birth to the term “sperm drive.”

In fact… “I betcha they power the sperm drive with MORE SPERM! DERP!”

This has been a completely pointless and jovially silly musing.

Royal Ramble 1988

30 years ago, the first Royal Rumble took place on the USA Network. It would eventually become a popular concept in wrestling and the first stop on the “Road To Wrestlemania” that everyone likes to promote. (I myself circumvent that whole road and take the shortcut that skips all the bullshit stops along the way, but that’s another story.)

Today, we look at this historical first show and then over the next four days, I’ll be watching random Royal Rumbles and giving them quick little write-ups. And then maybe next week, I’ll do a post on this Sunday’s event.

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Random Thoughts On… The Upcoming Shattered Grid (MMPR Comic)

The above image sums up my thoughts on this whole thing in a nutshell.

Look, for longtime fans, seeing other Ranger teams in comic book form should be a ball… but wouldn’t it be better if they had their OWN comic books to partake in rather than having to share space with the Mighty Morphin reboot series that seems to have such a massive hard-on for the Tommy Oliver character that their big idea for a new evil Ranger was the same old tired “Evil Tommy” trope that has permeated many lazy fanfics written over the years.

I know. I’ve been there… but at least, in my defense, I used his clone, made him immortal, and ended up turning him into a bit of a puppet master before eventually killing him off in brutal fashion.

I want to get excited for this big event. The new Boom! Studios comic is actually pretty good when it isn’t doing the Tommy Wankfest thing and is giving the property the right kind of maturity. But when all there is to look forward is “Evil Tommy” being the big bad for a major event when you have many more enticing options, it’s hard to give this thing anything less than the above image.

Impact Wrestling Has A Twitch Channel

You can find that here: https://www.twitch.tv/impactwrestling

A live streaming of original content and classic TNA Impact Global Force Gold programming for free? This may very well be the first smart move that this company has made in a good long time. I may even lose my mind and sign up to their Global Network thing one of these days.

I guess an addendum can be added to this post since the possibility of it being brought up by certain people exists, but no, I will not be watching the latest “new beginning” of Impact Wrestling when it premieres in February. Been there, done that, will not be burned again. However, there might be a chance that I’ll watch their upcoming PPV and gauge my interest there.

A very slim chance, of course.

The Winners And Losers Of 2017

As I’m typing this first post of 2018, I am minutes away from falling asleep. So I just want to take the time to wish you and your loved ones a very happy and prosperous new year. Here’s to 365 days of good fortune, good health, and staying safe. Turning off the lights for now. Have a good one, folks. And please, drink responsibly.

With that having been said… it’s that time of year again… the annual Winners And Losers of 2017 has arrived in text form.

The good news is that, compared to 2016, 2017 is coming out like a lovely rose. There are certainly low points, sure, but not enough that they ruined the whole damn year for me. Not even “that fellow” in the Twit House or whatever is called.

The list is fairly short; about ten or twelve entries a piece with a few middle grounders. But for anyone wondering, the list does NOT include certain political figures (including a certain orange fellow who was voted into office), it does not include Capcom over their Mega Man 11 announcement (let’s wait until the game is released before we judge it, okay), and it does NOT include Mark Hamill… because why would it include Mark Hamill?

Anyway, on with the list… after the break.

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