We’re finally here, aren’t we?
This review was actually pretty tough to get through because Faxanadu was the last game I played with Sacha by my side a few days before she finally passed. So, there is an emotional hurdle that needed to be overcome in order to get through this thing, which is why this opens with the “For Sacha” signature that was a thing for most of my 2024 videos. This one is for her… and I still miss her.
How bad is a game that I’d much rather watch the movie of the same name that came out a decade or so later?
Sorry for the week delay on this show, kids… but you know how it is with these WWE PPVs that go fifteen hours… and then on top of that, you double it up. Anyhoo, it’s Summerslam 2025 – at the beginning of August so we can clash in Paris or something at the end of August… or is it Saudi Arabia? I’m not quite sure. All I know is that, unless one of these other “premium” shows boasts a card that’s worth my time, this will probably be my last WWE PPV musings for the year until next year’s Royal Rumble.
Yeah, sorry that I didn’t watch the Money In The Bank event from last month and that I would rather watch a bunch of crappy old WCW PPVs than a generally mid-level modern WWE PLE offering. Even moreso, I’m sorry that I’m not in the least bit interested in this John Cena retirement tour that went off the deep end when Dwayne interjected and then decided that his planet needed him or something. (No, Dwayne didn’t show up on this show… but someone else did; we’ll get to that.)
And yes, I did recycle the Buy One Get One Free banner of Ramblemania 41 for this year’s Summerslam as soon as I heard the announcement that they were going to make it a two-night event months ago. The fact that CM Punk would end up main eventing one of those nights was more of a happy coincidence.
Strider at home… ain’t all that bad.
If you’re guilty, you get a minor flesh wound.
I feel the need to mention that.
I also feel the need to mention that I had a good time in the movie theater for the first time in a long time.
Is the humor and quip machine getting tiresome? Sure… seems like every movie has it. Sometimes, however, you can almost forgive that if the more wholesome parts of the film are done well… and I feel that’s the case here.
Maybe I’ll revisit the movie at home whenever I can get the chance to see if it holds up… but so far, I want to hold on to the happy memory of Krypto saving the whole movie… not that it really needed saving.
Click here to download the MP3.
Game collecting goals, how the Rangers got their powers back, Amicovision nonsense, and why are you asking me where the lamb sauce is? All this and not much else in this 20 minute audio download.
The following is a dramatization…
“Hello! I’m Ensign New Guy training as a nurse to replace the nurse on the U.S.S. En-Ter-Prize! I am a likable guy who is liked by everyone on the ship because they appreciate my work ethic!”
“Hey, New Guy! We’re letting you know that Nurse Chapel is gonna stick around after all.”
“Oh… okay, cool. So I guess I’m done here.”
“Not exactly. I put in word to Starfleet to extend your stay on board the Enterprise. Everyone on the ship likes you and so do I. Therefore, you can stay if you want.”
“Goddamn, Doc! That’s pretty swell of you. I’d love to stay on board the En-Ter-Prise for as long as you need me!”
“Great! Fantastic… hmmm… I wonder how well you look in a red shirt?”
“What’s that, Doc?”
“What? Oh! Never mind. Forget I said anything. Why don’t you charge the biobeds and stuff?”
“Already took care of that, Doc. And I also did all the other stuff you want me to do because I want to impress my superiors with my awesome work ethic.”
“Great! Fantastic! Say, New Guy. How’d you like to join the landing party on the planet below to explore some ominous ruins that could be potentially dangerous?”
“Golly willickers, Doc! I’d love to be part of the landing party! Hey, this is a real cool orb. I wonder what it doe… AAARGGGH!! MY EYES! THAT ORB MELTED MY FUCKING EYES!”
“Oh, it’s worse than that, New Guy. That orb also melted your brain!”
“OH NOES! WHAT AM I GONNA DO, DOC?! I DON’T WANNA DIE!”
“Don’t worry, Ensign. I’ll do everything I can to save you… oh, hey, Captain with the Gorn babies. How are we doing today? Hey, what are you doing?! DON’T HURT THE NEW GUY!”
“Heh, heh, heh… There is no new guy! I’m the evil entity trapped in the orb and I’ve taken over this red shirt’s body. Now I will kill everyone on this ship and use it to take over the galaxy!”
“Not if I can help! Don’t worry, New Guy! I’ll save you yet!”
zap
“WHAT THE FUCK, CAROL KANE?! WHY DO YOU BLOW NEW GUY’S BRAINS OUT?!”
“Because he’s evil and must die.”
“It was HIS FIRST MISSION!”
So yes, the young handsome nurse that they introduced in the second episode of the season ends up getting killed in the fifth episode… and you want to know the amazing thing about this whole deal? They actually cast a black dude to play this poor bastard.
Finally… some diversity in our corpses.
dtm666 