Category: Written Reviews

BluRay Review – Star Trek: The Next Generation: Season 1 (Blu-Ray)

Until I start my own swag of Blu-Ray collection or however it’s supposed to be written, I’m stuck nicking my bro’s collection at the moment. So I checked out the Star Trek: The Next Generation Season 1 Blu-Ray (will eventually go for Season 2 afterwards) and I’d have to say that I’m somewhat impressed by what they did with the remastering, where they actually remade the visual effects using the original film elements rather than a simple upconversion or using CGI effects that would look too modern even for a 1987 show.

The end result is visual effects that are the same as the original version, but with more lighting and details that would otherwise be lost in standard definition televisions. There’s very little in terms of actual changes with effects (particularly one notable change in “The Naked Now” that’s on screen for a second, but easily noticeable if you’re familiar with the show.) It looks really good for the most part (with some shots looking rather odd) and really does more to sell me on the Blu-Ray experience than anything else on the market.

As for the show itself, well, the first season of Next Gen was definitely a work in progress. When people compile a list of the best episodes from the entire seven-year run, only a very minute number of them are from the first season. For every quality episode such as “Where No One Has Gone Before” or “Datalore” or “The Big Goodbye”, there’s about four or five crappy episodes like “Justice” or the overly-sexist “Angel One” or the overly-racist “Code of Honor.” The show eventually got a bit better with everyone finding their footing, but the first season was definitely growing pains. Still somewhat enjoyable, I think.

On a whole, it’s a nice little job they did here. The effects are vastly improved, the picture quality is rather sharp, the bonus features (comprising episodic promos, a look at the remastering process, a retrospective with lots of screen test footage, an edited version of the infamous TNG Gag Reel floating around the internet, and they even snuck in the DVD extras) are plentiful, and it’s just a really well-done package. It’s definitely a worthwhile upgrade to the BluRay format that’s worth the double-dipping if you already own the old DVD sets.

BOOK REVIEW – The Rise And Fall Of ECW (2006)

Did you watch the Rise And Fall Of ECW DVD set that was released back in 2004? Then you pretty much know what to expect from WWE’s next attempt to cash in on the sudden ECW explosion with what is essentially the book version of that particular set. The book pretty much covers the territory that was already covered on the DVD, but also includes material talking about the One Night Stand PPV that took place in 2005; the show that everyone raved about and whose success resulted in a revival of ECW the following people that most people would wish hadn’t happened.

I got this on the cheap because it was on discount one time and for what it’s worth, it covers the same ground as the DVD in book form, which means you’ll get a nice look at the origins of ECW, what made it hip and popular, a look at some of the personalities that made ECW a thing (as well as interview blurbs with said personalities – or at least the ones contracted to WWE at the time), and the events that lead to the eventual fall of ECW. There’s also some extra bits not featured on the DVD and the book does touch on the first One Night Stand PPV in 2005.

There’s not much to say about this one. If you’ve seen the DVD, there’s very little “new” material that you’ll come across. It’s a fun little read, regardless. Blew through this one in a couple nights and better written than most of the WWE tripe I’ve come across. If you want a good book on ECW, this might be worth a shot, but you’re better off tracking down the DVD instead.

COMIC REVIEW – Star Trek: Debt Of Honor (1992 DC Comics One-Shot)

So this is an interesting little beast; a Star Trek movie-era one-shot story published in a prestigious hardcover graphic novel from DC Comics that is basically an excuse to give you as many callbacks, winks, and nods as you could possibly fit within 90+ pages of comic book. To the layman with no clue about Star Trek, this means very little, but to the hardcore Trekkie out there, Debt Of Honor references so many things, features so many guest characters including those who have only been spotlighted in a single episode of Star Trek, and makes so many callbacks to past moments and eras that it almost overwhelms the entire book. It’s usually the worst kind of thing when so many callbacks are made and the whole thing coasts on nostalgia that it detracts from the overall product.

And yet the funny thing about Debt Of Honor is that these nods aren’t just quite little things. Some of them contribute quite a bit to the overall story, which has quite a few layers to it. Captain Kirk, commanding the second ship to bare the name U.S.S. Enterprise, still feels guilt over the loss of the previous Enterprise, and is about to partake in a mission to take on a menace from his past. What follows is a story that bounces between present day and flashbacks, which touch in a number of eras. From Kirk’s days on the Farragut to the five-year mission and even The Motion Picture and its dull gray uniforms gets some love.

Complimenting the superb storytelling and writing is the wonderful art. Everything looks like what it’s supposed to; none of the ships depicted have weird proportions or anything of the sort. There’s a genuine effort in some cases to have the characters somewhat resemble the actors who portrayed them. Though it is funny seeing Kor depicted as he appeared in “Errand Of Mercy”, considering that DS9 would bring the character back and give the modern Klingon look. This came out before that was a thing, so that’s not an intentional mistake… but it is funny.

Debt Of Honor is one of the few Star Trek graphic novels that I still have laying around and is one that I often go back to every now and then. It’s a damned fine book with the perfect balance between fan service and solid storytelling; one that anyone working in a popular franchise should strive to achieve. This gets my highest recommendation.

DVD Review: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles – Turtles Forever (2009 Release)

So in 2009, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles franchise celebrated its twenty-fifth anniversary and as such, the event was celebrated not only with a change in ownership from Mirage Studios to Viacom, but also resulted in Turtles Forever, a film that serves as a crossover between the 2003 cartoon Turtles and the much beloved cartoon Turtles from the classic 1987 cartoon. And then it was released onto DVD. Unfortunately, the DVD release is a very barebones release that only includes the film and not much else in terms of features.

The Good: The only good that could be said about the DVD is that the film itself is top-notch fanservice and a satisfying conclusion to not only the 2003 incarnation of TMNT, but in a way, also closes out an era of Turtle-dom that dates back to its origins in 1984. The 87 Turtles aren’t voiced by the original actors, but they sound close enough if not a bit too goofy. Still, it’s a fun little movie that is a celebration of what’s come before as much as it is an ending.

The Bad: The DVD itself is slim pickings; only packing the film and chapter selection. Not even captions or alternate languages. Also the film is the edited version and not the uncut version that is supposed to feature eight minutes of additional material. It’s not a bad film and without having seen the longer version, I don’t know how much I’m actually missing here… but man, what a missed opportunity to include a more complete version, even if the extra stuff might seem a bit extraneous.

Overall: Turtles Forever got a cheap-o DVD release and given what it represents, I do wish more was done to give this a better treatment. Even a trailer or two would’ve been nice. Still, having some form of Turtles Forever in a consumable format is nice to have and the DVD is pretty cheap, so if you haven’t seen this one and find the disc laying around somewhere, why not give it a shot?

COMIC REVIEW – TMNT #5 (IDW)

So I’ve been recently playing catch-up with IDW’s new TMNT comic book and came across the newest issue, which features its own take on the classic TMNT origin story… kind of an interesting angle to say the least. The idea that the Turtles and Splinter are basically re-incarnations of Hamato Yoshi and his children in a past life is certainly something out of left field and credit where it’s due; it’s a rather unique way of framing things. I’m not sure if I can completely buy into it, but maybe as the series progresses down the line, this will be explored further down the road.

Perhaps the biggest change to come out of this – and I don’t think I’m spoiling anything here since there are already cover previews of future issues that give this away – is that three of the Turtles trade in their original red bandannas for the colored ones that have been prominent in all the various television, movies, and other media that isn’t the original Mirage comic books. I figured this was going to happen sooner or later, so this wasn’t much of a surprise. I do feel some people are going to be a bit miffed that they’re ditching the red masks for the colored one, but at the end of the day, this isn’t the old Mirage universe. It’s a reimagined one with fewer shell puns… fucking Dirk.

I kinda like how they’re taking various elements from the various mediums (one of the micro-series books apparently feature human Bebop and Rocksteady) and merging them into a new narrative storyline. It’s a different take on the Turtles and whether it ends up being worth a damn or not, at least you can’t say that it’s going to be predictable. As long as they maintain the style and substance that made the original TMNT such a joy to read and such, then it’s damn well going to be a fun ride.

If nothing else, it’ll give me some fodder for more Turtle talk around here.

COMIC REVIEW – Batman-Spawn: War Devil (1994 DC Comic)

So once upon a time, we took a look at Spawn/Batman, the Frank Miller-penned crossover between the Dark Knight and… I don’t know if Spawn has any “cool” nicknames. Anyway, that book was published by Image Comics and is supposedly part of Miller’s Dark Knight Universe, for whatever that’s worth. That same year in 1994, DC Comics put out their own Batman/Spawn crossover comic called War Devil and also features both heroes taking on demonic forces from Hell… it also features the artwork of Klaus Janson, who happened to be the artist behind The Dark Knight Returns. Funny how that works out.

Right off the bat, War Devil feels a bit less tongue-in-cheek than Spawn/Batman does, as the characters feel less like shallow parodies of themselves and are more true to their usual interpretations circa 1994. I also find the story somewhat intriguing and would later learn that the backstory of War Devil is based on a real historical mystery regarding Roanoke Colony, the first attempt at an English colony in what would become North America that failed due to the mysterious disappearance of the colonists. Tying it to more demonic forces seemed like a natural choice.

It’s only unfortunate that War Devil doesn’t quite dwell into this as much as it could have, as the prestige one-shot format meant they had to get through this in roughly forty or so pages. Some aspects would’ve benefitted from more fleshing out, particularly any interactions between Spawn and Batman to build up that partnership more than the couple moments at most. The artwork is kinda messy at times, but I wouldn’t call it outright terrible; merely a different style. It almost works. Almost.

Between the two books, War Devil is only slightly better than Spawn/Batman in that it tells a better story and the heroes aren’t treated like one-note caricatures. I wouldn’t necessarily call it a must-read, either. Maybe some day, we can revisit the idea of a Batman/Spawn crossover story and give it some real juice.

MOVIE REVIEW – DOA: Dead Or Alive (2006)

DOA: Dead Or Alive is a film that involves women in skimpy clothing or less. It’s funny because the Dead or Alive video game series that the film is based on is about the same thing. The difference between the two is that in the games, the women’s boobs bounced… whereas in the movie, the women’s boobs are way too small to do the game justice.

Now was the above statement a bit crude and degrading? Perhaps… but how the hell else am I going to start this review off? By talking about the movie itself? It would have been nice if I remembered a damn thing about the movie.

The games’ story involved a corporation holding tournaments to capture data on the participants… and on the side, the women play volleyball and… their boobs bounce. A pretty flaky and ultimately uninteresting storyline if there ever was one… think the movie would do any better? Not a chance… because the plot of the movie is just as paper-thin and uninteresting as the games. The only difference is the lack of bouncing boobs… but you do get quite a bit of skin… I guess… I suppose…

I’m sorry, but that’s all I’ve got. It’s probably not the most informative review out there, but the truth is that DOA: Dead Or Alive is a pretty forgettable film and quite honestly, there’s no real incentive to give this movie another viewing. The plot is dull, the characters are not all that interesting, and perhaps most depressing of all, the titilation sequences are pretty boring. When the sexual deviations puts a straight man to sleep, then something is seriously wrong.

Not even Kevin Nash could save this thing from mediocrity. Even if you’re a fan of the Dead Or Alive series, your time and money is best spent on something else.

Weak.

MOVIE REVIEW – Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen (2009)

I hadn’t seen Revenge of the Fallen in theaters. I waited until it was on DVD.

And before watching the DVD, I watched the first Transformers flick for catch up. While the movie was lacking in depth and wasn’t really good, it did managed to keep me awake and it was a fun movie if nothing else. So despite all the bad reviews and word-of-mouth (which did nothing to prevent this movie from making a shitload of cash), I went into Fallen with the optimism that it’ll be somewhat shallow fun if nothing else.

Two and a half hours later, I suffered irreparable brain damage that may last a lifetime. That Ashens facepalm – taken from a brief “review” of the film that he posted around the time of the film’s release – perfectly sums up my mental state after watching this pile of shit.

This movie is an abomination; there is no cohesive story to follow, no interesting characters to care about, no fun moments to be had, and ultimately nothing of substance that could contribute to the enjoyment of this thing they call a motion picture. This is visual pollution in its most literal form, bombarding you with a powerful exposure in a long winding dose.

Cohesiveness and plotting are not the movie’s strong points. There wasn’t any one time through the movie where I wasn’t scratching my head in confusion, wondering what the fuck was going on. Yeah, I know that a popcorn flick isn’t supposed to be heavy on story, but then again, popcorn flicks are generally entertaining.

This movie lacked decent action sequences; they’re all really hard to follow and actually caused a bit of eye strain. It’s just a very unappealing movie to look at.

The acting in this movie isn’t the worst I’ve seen, but it certainly helps in not making me give a damn about any of these characters. They’re all seemingly impervious rag dolls that can walk and talk, yet can’t do either of them right. It’s almost a sign of epic failure when the most robotic thing in a movie about robots are the “human” characters.

Just about the only thing I could say good things about is the soundtrack; it’s actually not that bad. It’s a shame that I can’t hear enough of it amid all the loud, ugly explosions and piss-poor dialogue.

Bottom line, this movie sucks ass. It is perhaps one of the more putrid attempts at a motion picture that I’ve ever seen and I’ve seen a lot of really shitty movies. If you’re one of the few people who hasn’t seen Revenge of the Fallen, do yourself a favor and don’t watch it. You’re not missing a damn thing and quite frankly, you’re much better off.

MOVIE REVIEW: Suburban Knights (Channel Awesome, 2011)

So I had originally written the following piece of business as a script of sorts for a possible video review that is not going to come to fruition because… well, Channel Awesome fans are ravenous, spiteful people who will villify anyone who doesn’t treat their material as pure fucking genius… well, I assure you that I am more than to treat their “films” as pure fucking genius, as long as you understand that my use of the word “genius” does not necessarily mean the same thing that you would normally associate with the word.

Henceforth, I’ve decided to post the script here as is. Please excuse some of the typos and stuff; this wasn’t intended to be posted in text form, but since I’m not doing the video review (maybe some other substitute instead), might as well toss it on here. So enjoy.

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