Category: Written Reviews

BOOK REVIEW – Journey Into Darkness: The Unauthorized History Of Kane (2005)

“I think you’d have to be on cocaine to enjoy it.”
Blade Braxton, Wrestlecrap Radio

So, 2005 saw WWE release a fictional book detailing the story of Kane, the Undertaker’s half-brother who debuted in 1997 and caused a big scene… and then bit by bit, that aura dwindled with stupid stories like Katie Vick, unmaskings, and corporate Kane. Fortunately, Journey Into Darkness was published long before that last bit took place and in fairness, I want to give the author credit in trying to reconcile all these different plotholes in WWE narrative into one cohesive story.

I mean, the poor bastard tried.

The book is poorly written… sometimes it reads fine, sometimes it reads bad, and then there are moments when it is unbearable (but those times are few and between). Here’s the thing, though; I enjoyed the book because I like the wrestling product. There’s a certain level regarding suspension of disbelief that you’d have to attain in order to follow wrestling. If you’re NOT a wrestling fan, though, then this book will do NOTHING for you. You’ll be reading this thing wondering, “What the hell is going on here?” And while the story is certainly readable for the most part and isn’t remotely terrible, it doesn’t make any attempt to make sense to the people who are picking this up without prior knowledge of the wrestling product.

If you’re a fan of the Big Red Monster and are remotely interested in his backstory, then Journey Into Darkness is probably worth a look. The story does its best to explain the various inconsistencies with the Kane backstory, but is marred down by generally poor writing and the fact that this is trying to make sense out of a narrative concocted by a company who didn’t give a rat’s ass about cohesive narratives unless it was convenient to them. There’s a “clever” attempt to try and make this grounded in reality by using real names here and there while maintaining their hokey fake story and for what it’s worth, you can’t help but admire the attempt.

I don’t know. If you’re into trainwrecks in literary form or want to know how WWE makes sense of its nonsense (and fail), then this is worth checking out. Otherwise, there are plenty of more worthwhile books to check out – either within the wrestling or fictional realms.

DVD REVIEW – Thoughts on the CGR Perks

(A portion of this text is taken from Episode 41 of the DTM-Cast, with some additions made afterwards.)

So about a couple weeks ago, I finally received the Best of Classic Game Room 15th Anniversary 2-disc set that was supposed to be out in December in time for Christmas, but that didn’t happen; it showed up in April and I’m guessing for those who didn’t donate, it’ll be available for purchase sometime this month if it isn’t already; I haven’t checked. I already got my copy; signed and delivered by the man himself. And also as part of the package that I had selected, I also received the Classic Game Room mockumentary film that was put out back in 2007 and personally, this was the big reason for my wanting to contribute. Not only because I was getting the new DVD, but if it came with the old DVD too, I’d figured; “Kill two birds with one stone and get them both.”

So I did a video showcasing my quirks that week and, you know, I don’t need to repeat what was said there, which wasn’t much; it was just showing off the printed materials and the coasters and the DVDs itself, but what I thought I would do is give some quick thoughts on the productions themselves and… I don’t want to call it reviewing because it’s not really that.

I want to talk about the 2007 documentary first because, well, that came first.

Classic Game Room: The Rise and Fall of the Internet’s Greatest Video Game Review Show was basically a humorous lookback at the history of Game Room, the show’s original 1999-2000 incarnation. And there’s a selection of Game Room episodes on display; some you’ve seen before, such as the Ninja Golf episode and the Seaman episode, and there’s a couple that are “officially” exclusive to this DVD, such as the Duck Hunt and Alien episodes. And in between the episodes, there’s the mockumentary portions which feature Mark narrating the history of Game Room and one has to decide for himself how much of it is legit and how much is over-exaggeration, but there are some bits of behind the scenes stuff and outtakes scattered about and it’s not bad.

Extras include a couple video blogs regarding the development of the documentary film, which are already on YouTube. There’s an alternate commentary track with Mark where he talks about the film and also some insightful and sometimes over-exaggerated observations regarding Game Room. But on a whole, it’s a fairly good mockumentary with a selection of choice Game Room episodes for good measure.

Now, regarding the Best of Classic Game Room… yeah, let me just set you up as to what to expect; you’re getting 50+ reviews worth of Classic Game Room episodes spanning from the original Game Room days in 1999-2000 to last year. Most of these reviews are already online, but there are a couple of them that are exclusive to this video. You’ve got an audio commentary with Mark Bussler, which is actually quite entertaining and informative in its own right. At one point, he even pokes fun of his monotone delivery during the HD era in 2008 when the show made its official comeback. There’s some behind the scenes content, some outtakes, and a conversation between Mark and former Game Room host David Crosson, which was a highlight.

So, speaking as a backer for this thing and speaking as someone who has enjoyed Classic Game Room since the resurgence of the show back in 2008, I have to say that I was satisfied with The Best Of Classic Game Room. In terms of the content on disc, there’s some good stuff there, some good choices for reviews to represent the show’s best, and presented in the highest quality possible on DVD format, the extra bits were pleasant, I enjoyed the segments between Mark and Dave – that made the DVD worthwhile in my book – but at the same time, there were bits of it that left me underwhelmed.

For one, I would’ve liked to have been able to skip to specific reviews rather than have to scan for them, I would’ve loved for some of the stuff, like the Mark & Dave conversional bits, to have been their own thing rather than scattered throughout the main program. And also, it would’ve been nice to see some reviews exclusive to this DVD; I know they advertised Super Metroid and Shenmue as DVD exclusives at one point, but those eventually made it to YouTube before the DVD’s release and so it just blows the wind from the sail. You’ve got a couple on there, though, such as the reviews of Arkanoid as well as Mark’s Broken Game Boy Advance SP that still works.

But, no, other than those minor bits, I’m quite happy with the way the DVD and the product turned out.

GameFAQS Review – Hat Trick (Arcade)

Fun for a while… but not much else.

This is sort of an odd thing because my first exposure to Hat Trick was not the original arcade game, but rather the odiously flawed conversion on the Atari 7800. To make a long story short, the game boasted choppy animation, flawed controls, and was basically outclassed by other hockey games available in 1987.

The original Hat Trick arcade game, which I did play once or twice during a road trip several years ago, is a far cry from that 7800 conversion by a considerable margin… which should come as no surprise considering an arcade board should be more capable than a home video game system.

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COMIC REVIEW – Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles #1 (Mirage Studios – Volume 1)

the one that started it all… and after reading it, I’m amazed they were able to continue the series for as long as they did.

The very first issue of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles pretty much lays the groundworks for the various aspects that people would become familiar with as this became a massive multimedia empire. We are introduced to our four Ninja Turtles, their rodent sensei Master Splinter, their arch-nemesis Shredder and his Foot Clan, and the origins of all these characters as well as their bloodfeud. It leans hard into its parody and homage to the Frank Miller works, particularly Daredevil, while also crafting a compelling story with lots of bloody, violent action depicted in glorious black and white.

The artwork is truly exceptional stuff; lots of gritty detail and some beautifully rough line art of the various battles between the Turtles and their foes; whether they’d be rugged hoodlums, lethal Foot ninjas, or the Shredder himself. The decision to go black and white as opposed to color might’ve been a money thing – I honestly don’t recall – but it pretty much defined the look of the comic going forward. To the point where I would later come across a color version of this issue and it didn’t quite look as good.

For those whose first exposure to TMNT was the cartoon, reading this comic and realizing how violent it was had to be a bit of a shock and you get why the cartoon is what it is to appeal to kids. But more than anything, the bigger shock was how self-contained the story is. I’m not going to spoil things, but the ending leaves little room for further adventures, presumably because Eastman and Laird figured this was their one and only shot at getting something published. Fortunately, not only did they manage to produce a second issue and continue the story, but… well, it got big.

It’s funny to go back and revisit this issue, like, what? Decades after the fact. It’s been reprinted several times, it’s even been posted on the official Ninja Turtles site for all to see before the big change in ownership. The original printings command high prices, but you could probably find reprints easily enough. The book holds up after all these years and is worth checking out if you bare any fandom to TMNT. And if you’ve already read it, read it again. It’s fantastic.

BOOK REVIEW – The Death Of WCW (10th Anniversary Edition) (2014)

So in 2004, The Death Of WCW was released. A tome written by Wrestlecrap connoisseur R.D. Reynolds and Figure Four Minus Five Stars guy Bryan Alvarez, it was a fascinating and insightful look at the history of World Championship Wrestling, from its early days to its most profitable period to eventually its downfall. Ten years later, they release an expanded edition of the book to commemorate the book’s tenth anniversary… because the thing still gets published and apparently still sells, which justifies said expanded edition.

For all intents and purposes, this is the same book you’ve read in 2004… at least, for the most part. A lot of the text included in the old book has been retained for the most part, but at the same time, the new Death Of WCW book almost feels like a completely different book. Surface-level, it uses different fonts and pictures as the previous book. Dig a bit deeper and a lot of the items that have been mentioned in the previous book has been expanded upon with actual quotes from those who were on the “front lines” as it were. There are also new items added in for good measure. In a sense, this book feels like a more refined product of what came out ten years prior; almost as though this was the book that was supposed to come out, but didn’t because of space constraints.

But what makes this book even more insightful is that not only does it expand upon the unfortunate tale of World Championship Wrestling, but it also points out some of the mistakes that are being repeated TODAY by the major promotions. Remember that mirror gimmick where Hogan (and the audience) could see Warrior in the mirror, but nobody else in the room could? Did you know WWE tried that stunt not just ONCE, but TWICE? Many of these lessons not learned are highlighted and pointed out… although there are a couple lessons that have been “learned.” Remember when WCW unmasked Rey Mysterio Jr? You don’t? Well, good. Nobody else does, either.

In the original book, the epilogue covered the mismanaged Invasion that dominated WWF television for the latter half of 2001. Sadly, that entire chapter has been excised from this new edition, but in its place is a laundry list of all the stupid things that TNA Impact Wrestling has done over the course of its dozen year existence… and it is just as lengthy as the original epilogue. It is, perhaps, the closest thing you’re going to get to a Death Of TNA book… assuming such an event happens sooner than later.

All in all, this expanded edition is worthy of being added to your library, even if you already have the original book. It’s the same book with some expanded bits, but feels different enough that it’s worth taking up another slot on the shelf. Those who didn’t care for the book the first time… well, I doubt anything here will change your mind, but this version feels more complete.

A hearty recommendation.

MOVIE REVIEW – Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie (2014)

So I had originally intended this to be an extended vlog – about fifty minutes or so, but due to a variety of technical issues including Vegas crapping out on me multiple times during the rendering process, I ended up having to do a much shorter vlog, which in hindsight, may have been for the best. However, someone wanted the full version and while the chances of that happening now is slim, I did have the original text (or script, as the kids call it) for what the intended vlog was supposed to be… and so here it is, with some minor fixes and edits to make it readable at most.

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BOOK REVIEW – Mad Dogs, Midgets, And Screwjobs (2013)

Neglected to mention this, but a couple weeks ago, I picked up this book from the bookstore and it’s actually quite a bit of an interesting read. Yeah, it’s a wrestling related book about the history of wrestling in what they call the Montreal territory… and yes, they do cover the Montreal Screwjob that everyone and their pet pygmy marmosets have covered since forever, but then there’s a look back at all the various Quebec-born talent and a lot of memorable stuff tied to the territory, such as the 1997 match between Jacques Rougeau and Hollywood Hogan (that Hogan lost!) and the Pat Patterson brunch segments that aired in francophone markets (if you speak French, look them up on Youtube; they’re fucking hilarious). Of course, there’s a feature on the current scene as well (as current as the book allowed, at least.)

No doubt the authors of this book went to maticulous detail dwelling into the history of Montreal’s contributions to professional wrestling, but there were moments where I wished they dwelled into some topics a bit more in-depth. Sure, the thing with Bret, Shawn, and Vince have been covered to death, but I doubt plenty of people knew about the original Montreal Screwjob from 1931 between Ed Lewis and Henri Deglane. Would’ve been nice to know more.

As it is, though, this was actually a nice little read and an interesting look into Montreal wrestling.

DVD Review – The Self-Destruction Of The Ultimate Warrior (2005 DVD Review)

The Ultimate Warrior is a bit of an interesting character. Inside the squared circle, he was one of the most colorful and dynamic wrestlers you’d find in the WWF atmosphere. Regardless of what you thought of him as a wrestler, a promo guy, or character, you can’t deny.

However, outside the squared circle, Warrior was a bit of an asshole who seemed to have a hatred for anything or anyone who didn’t worship the ground he walked on. He had controversial opinions that drew the ire of colleges and colleagues, burn bridges on a whim, and had an absolute disdain for Vince McMahon and his circle of stooges to the point where both were involved in lawsuits up the wazoo.

So for WWE to induct the Ultimate Warrior into the Hall of Fame is as much of a surprise to me as anyone, especially to those who knew of the rather turbulent relationship between the two sides over the years. All of a sudden, both sides are happily

Therefore, to celebrate the occasion, we’ll be taking a look at The Self-Destruction Of The Ultimate Warrior, a DVD release from 2005-ish where everyone shits on Warrior, back when it was cool to shit on Warrior because he was such a cunt.

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BOOK REVIEW – WWE’s Big Apple Takedown (2006)

The cover of this book depicts former WWE Diva Torrie Wilson wielding a gun while wearing a suggestive outfit with an awkward smile on her face, much like a lot of these promo pics where superstars and divas are told to smile in the most unnatural, unrealistic way possible. You look at this cover and you’re wondering why anyone would want to read this in public?

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