Category: Written Reviews

GameFAQs Review – Mighty Morphin Power Rangers (Sega CD)

The Power Rangers… concocted when creator Haim Saban got inspired by Japanese programming to do a show about kids in costumes fighting rubber monsters with their nice weapons and giant Megazord robot. A simple premise that somehow got over with the kids, Power Rangers was a big thing back in its day… and with a big thing comes the video games. While Bandai released some platform-based brawling games for the Game Boy and SNES, Sega released one-on-one fighting games for the Sega Genesis and Sega Game Gear. Those Sega games were actually pretty good and even the Nintendo ones had their moments… but then Sega still had another “console” to make a game for. And so they begat this game for their Sega CD console. Unlike the Genesis and GG versions, this was an Full-Motion-Video style game… much like most of the Sega CD’s library of video games. Now I don’t particularly care for FMV games, but I did play this one since one of my buddies still had a copy… now I wish I hadn’t.

Now before we jump ahead, I should probably let on that I’m into this Power Rangers stuff. I’ve seen the shows and movies, played the games, read some of the comics, and even wrote a few fanfics. It pretty much helped to reinforce my resistance to terrible movies and video games, giving me somewhat jaded tastes. So, in reference to another review for this game, I can stomach this stuff quite well. That having been said, no amount of resistance and stomaching could blind me from seeing what a putrid release I’ve been hit with. It absolutely boggles the mind how something like this came to be.

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GameFAQs Review – Mortal Kombat (Arcade)

Ah, the original Mortal Kombat arcade game. Released during the height of Street Fighter II’s increasing popularity, Mortal Kombat contained a few elements different from all the other fighters of the time, such as digitized actors and backgrounds, blood and gore, and a block button. The result is the start of one of the most popular video game franchises in the 1990s, but beneath all the hooplah concerning the violence and all that stuff, does a good game lie within?

Well… you have to start somewhere, right?

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GameFAQs Review – Capcom Fighting Evolution (Xbox)

Capcom Fighting Evolution is a mixed bag. You either love it or hate it because of what it is: another recycling job disguised as a brand new game. All things considered, I had hesitated to pick this one when I saw it going for full price as opposed to being a budget title, but since the local EBGames had dropped the price on this title, I picked it up anyway despite all the negative press behind it and tried it out for myself. Is it really as bad as they say?

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COMIC REVIEW – Spider-Man: Torment (1990)

Todd McFarlane made a name for himself drawing Spider-Man in a fresh take that remains somewhat to this day. After a long stint on Amazing Spider-Man, Todd wanted to stretch his limbs and give this writing thing a shot. So Marvel gave the dude his own (adjectiveless) Spider-Man book and I’ll never forget the cover of that first issue; Spidey in that one pose amid a background of webbing, which came in either metallic silver, metallic bronze, or full-color varieties. The full-color one (pictured) was kinda lame, but the silver and bronze variants were pretty cool and perfectly matched the tone of the book’s first major arc; a five-issue story called Torment.

Anyone familiar with McFarlane’s art should know what to expect; lots of nice little setpieces that sometimes gets a bit chaotic for its own good compounded with a lot of faces that look to have been molded from Playdoh. It’s an acquired taste and a style that fit the time it was produced in. Sadly, the same can be said for the story; serviceable for the time, but not something that holds up over time. A shame too, because the premise is actually interesting, with Spider-Man having to deal with an infection of sorts, as well as a more primal Lizard compared to what had been presented before and another sinister force with ties to an old foe who has left this proverbial plane of existence. Although to be fair, I do like the little moments between Peter and MJ; those are nice.

One thing is for certain; Torment would be a learning curve for McFarlane, who would go on to produce the comic series Spawn and essentially create a merchandising empire for himself. Not one of the guy’s best efforts and in terms of quality Spider-Man stories, there are certainly better ones, but for a pilot effort, it got the table set and is certainly worth a read as a period piece.

COMIC REVIEW – Justice League: The Nail (1998)

(2025 Update: The original version of this review erroneously stated this miniseries was published in 2004, when, in fact, it was Justice League: Another Nail – the sequel to this series from ’98 – that was published in 2004.)

Justice League: The Nail is an Elseworlds miniseries from 1998 that features an intriguing premise; the Kents runs over a nail that causes one of their tires to go flat, thus preventing them from discovering the Kryptonian rocket carrying its last son and negating Superman. The idea of a Justice League without a Superman of any kind is somewhat interesting and there’s a way to go about it that makes it compelling stuff.

And at first, it seems somewhat promising. A world where metahumans and vigilantism are viewed upon far less favorably than usual, the paths of various heroes, villains, and supporting players taking different turns ranging from drastic to not so far from the beaten path, and just an otherwise darker slant on the narrative of the DC Universe. I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t a part of me that wanted to see this initial set-up go beyond the mere three-issue prestige miniseries format.

Unfortunately, by the time you get to the climatic finale in the last issue, the central premise of the book is basically undone and things somewhat take a turn towards the standard fare. I’m sorry if that comes off as a bit spoiler-y – not that it would matter since we already have a sequel mini whose covers spoiled the whole thing anyway – but sadly, once The Nail introduces another central character late in the game, it all becomes clear how this ends up going.

It’s a bit of a shame because The Nail is a really good story up to that point and Alan Davis’s art only compliments the narrative; a vibrant, colorful visual presentation with classical depictions of these heroes contrasting the less-than-cheery world they live in. If not for the final moments of the story, this could’ve been an interesting take on the lore.

As it is, it’s still a really good story and probably one of the better Elseworlds stories I’ve read, but it could’ve been so much more if it had stuck the course.

MOVIE REVIEW – See No Evil (2006)

The first official release of World Wrestling Entertainment’s film division is a pretty basic horror/slasher movie called “See No Evil” starring Kane, one of their big men wrestlers known for having an intimidating presence, hard-hitting moves, and one of the most convoluted backstories in wrestling. And let’s not pull any punches here; while this movie is promoted as the greatest horror movie of all time (mostly by WWE), it goes without saying that after having seen this movie, I can confirm it as one of the greatest comedies of all time.

Oh wait…

“See No Evil” sees a bunch of juvenile delinquents sent to a hotel so they can clean up. Of course, a monstrous murderer (played by Kane) also happens to be living in this hotel and we all know where that goes. Without giving away too much of the movie plot, this film has all the semblance and structure of an early-1980s slasher flick with most of the clichés intact, but without any of the scares that those films accompany. And that’s sort of the main problem with “See No Evil”. It tries so many of the tricks implied by its predecessors in the genre that it comes off as predictable; veteran horror fans will easily recognize some of the gimmicks ahead of time and even those who have only seen a few flicks should tell what happens next. It’s too generic to be scary.

The movie’s gory, no doubt, but it’s only there for the effect. The dark atmosphere instilled in the movie gives off that feel of terror initially, but as you get towards the end, it somehow feels out of place and gets tiresome quickly. The death scenes don’t come off as gory and horrific as much as they do laughable, although some of them are pretty inventive.

And the acting in this movie is pretty bad too, as the main characters aren’t developed enough for us to care when they eventually do get axed. Some can’t even portray fear properly; they just scream and cry in a vain effort to emote. So when they die, it only adds to the comedy because you don’t care enough about them that you simply consider them the equivalent of Starfleet Redshirts to the monster Kane.

As for Kane, he simply portrayed his movie character the same way he portrays his wrestling character, only he uses axes and hooks instead of hellfire and brimstone. There’s no doubt in my mind that Kane can be a great fixture in the horror genre. He has the look and presence for it; he just needs better material (specifically a script that isn’t written by someone who writes wrestling shows) to work with.

Now, despite what may seem like a harsh review, I actually enjoyed the film. It’s one of those laughably bad movies that you can’t help but sit down and enjoy. My main gripe with the film, again, is that it’s simply an exercise in filming gory kills and doesn’t have any frightening or shock moments. I enjoyed it, but I enjoyed because it was easy for me to laugh off some of what was supposed to be scary moments in the movie. If that happens because it was supposed to be that way, the movie would have been rated higher. But it didn’t. It got laughs because it’s a B-movie and it doesn’t help that the director’s previous experiences was porn flicks and music videos; not exactly overcomplicated things to direct anyway. Nonetheless, I enjoyed it tremendously.

If you don’t mind a fun B-movie or funny horror film, I’d highly recommend “See No Evil.” If you are a true enthusiast of the genre, I’d wait until the DVD comes out before checking it out. Everyone else should probably go watch something else.

MOVIE REVIEW – Be Cool (2005)

The other film that we rented was Be Cool, which was the sequel to a prior movie called Get Shorty, which I’ve never seen. This means that I had no clue what was going on and sadly, this movie doesn’t help much in terms of filling the blanks. Most sequels will at least have some kind of hook for those who somehow missed out on the first movie… especially if that movie came out A WHOLE DECADE AGO!

Be Cool doesn’t do that for newcomers… nor does it do the other thing you’d want out of a movie and that’s be entertaining. That last bit boggles the mind because you have a fantastic array of talented stars on this cast lineup (and even the Rock is there) who could have elevated even the crummiest of scripts, but I guess everyone was just phoning things in because there was nothing here. There are supposed jokes and references to things, but these fall flat and I don’t think even knowing anything about Get Shorty would make these even funnier.

By the halfway point, the audience (myself and a few others in the room) were pretty much done with the film and talking about other shit. There’s no comedy to be found here nor was there anything that we could at least poke fun of. When you can’t even mock a movie for its badness, that film is pretty much doomed to failure and unfortunately, we learned that lesson the hard way.

Be Cool is not a good movie. Avoid at all costs. Stick with the Ice Princess. It’s safe, but it’s at least fun to watch.

MOVIE REVIEW – The Ice Princess (2005)

We watched a couple movies some time ago and I’d figured that I would share some quick thoughts on each. Nothing major or anything. A typical IMDB quick review that tells you nothing, but considering this is outside my usual tastes, it might be worth something?

The first movie we picked out was The Ice Princess, which I can best describe as the typical Disney story where they make an ordinary girl and turn her into a pretty one that eventually learns a wholesome lesson of sorts, along with the usual trademark story twists that are typical in these types of movies. In this case, an ace physics student revives her old love of figure skating for the sake of a term paper, only to be torn between pursuing her academic dreams and her newly rediscovered passion for the sport she once held near and dear to her heart.

Look, I’m typically not fond of these sorts of films from the house of mouse; they typically follow a formula that they rarely (if ever) break away from and the Ice Princess is more of the same in that regard. Still, I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t enjoy this one. The cast is fairly likeable, the acting and writing is fairly safe and solid, and there’s some pretty slick figure skating routines. Sure, it’s hard to buy into the dramatic bits because this is fairly predictable fare, but still, this was a perfectly enjoyable little flick whose 90+ minute runtime flew by quickly and I stayed awake for the most part.

All in all, good, clean, harmless fun.

COMIC REVIEW – Green Lantern: Rebirth #4 (of 6)

When I first heard about this miniseries and its premise, my first question was simply “Why?” I mean, is there a critical necessity to restore the pre-Rayner status quo, bringing everyone back to life and continue on as if nothing has ever happened? I never really cared for the Hal Jordan character, simply because he never seemed all that interesting a character until he went “whacko”. Of course, there are those who disagree with me… so here’s the mini that brings him back to the role he’s familiar with and returns everything back to the way things were.

Questionable intentions aside, the one thing that isn’t questionable is the fact that the Rebirth miniseries has been a fairly entertaining and pretty good read thus far and really, isn’t that the only thing that matters in the long run? Although this fourth issue does advance the story a little further somewhat, it wasn’t as fulfilling as the previous issue, which had some nifty plotpoints such as the reasoning behind the old GL rings’ yellow impurity and why Rayner’s ring doesn’t have it. But who’s complaining?

The bit where Green Arrow strains himself to shoot an arrow with the power ring was a nice touch, going to show how much of a toll it takes to use the ring to create things as simplistic as a mere arrow and that it’s not easy to bear it. Of course, no one’s ever had a problem with this sort of thing before, but those were “special” cases for lack of a better excuse. Visually, the art’s consistently good as the three issues before this one. The choice of coloring and darker shades goes well with the book and really emphasizes the overall tone of the series.

Other than that, there’s not much else to say that you’ve probably haven’t heard elsewhere. Simply put, Rebirth, so far, is good stuff, regardless of your preferred ringbearer. Of course, if you’re patient, you’ll probably wait for the inevitable TPB that’ll come out in a few scant months, but why bother? Just read it now.

DVD Review – Destroy All Monsters (50th Anniversary Release)

I’ll sum up this release in a single sentence; Destroy All Monsters is a fun movie, but the DVD release is pure trash.

Touted as a 50th Anniversary special edition, this is a two-disc set; one disc contains the movie, while the other disc is a CD containing the entire score of the movie by Akira Ifujkube. And for what it’s worth, I like the soundtrack. Even if the tracks are mostly variations of the same themes over and over.

The DVD, on the other hand, is lazily put together. Basically, someone took the movie, digitized it, slapped it onto a disc, and punched out. Never mind the lack of subtitles, alternate audio tracks, or even a menu for navigation; there are NO CHAPTERS on this disc. This means that if you want to skip to a later portion of the film, you’re going to have to fast-forward that sucker like you would an old VHS tape.

The movie itself is great fun; the ninth film in the Godzilla film franchise brings about ELEVEN monsters wrecking havoc all over the world and while the action is limited, it’s never boring. There’s also a basic tale with the storytelling and such. Maybe someday I’ll touch on the movie in greater detail, but considering how rarely I get to watch a Godzilla film from this era, I had a blast with this old film, even if the video quality isn’t the greatest.

It’s just unfortunate that there wasn’t enough care put into the surrounding package to make it special or even manageable. A milestone of this ilk for a fondly remembered movie deserves better treatment than what it ultimately got.

But I dig the CD.