Category: Star Wars Musings

All posts relating to the Star Wars franchsise.

Return Of The Jedi – The Final Star Wars Film… Until It Wasn’t

2022 marked the 20th anniversary of Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones and… well, I wrote a thing on that a while back, so I will spare you that piece of business here.

However, 2022 also marks the 30th anniversary of the third and final film in the original Star Wars Trilogy: Return Of The Jedi. And for seventeen years, it was exactly that; the last Star Wars film. Once the prequels came out, it merely became the final chapter in the Star Wars saga… until the arrival of The Force Awakens in 2015. Now I’m going to set aside all those other films for a moment – or at least, the majority of this write-up – so I can offer the following thoughts on Return Of The Jedi and why it was a satisfactory conclusion to the saga.

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Attack Of The Clones… Every Bit As Bad As I Remember It

Twenty years ago, on this very day, the fifth Star Wars film and the second episode of the Star Wars Prequel trilogy, Star Wars: Episode II – Attack Of The Clones, was released in theatres worldwide. As the second chapter of the prequels, it continued the story of Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi and his young padawan Anakin Skywalker, who are charged with the mission of protecting the young Senator and former Queen Amidala from assassins, all the while trying to uncover the mystery of a clone army created in Kamino. The movie raked in about $650 million in the box office, but the reaction has been decided mixed.

Over the years, I have made no secret about considering Attack Of The Clones to be the absolute worst Star Wars movie ever made. I have held this belief since the day it premiered when I first saw it in theatres with my older brother and a bunch of his buddies, and even with the release of the recent films – which I tend to forget exist, coincidentally enough – it neatly lines that proverbial bottom of the Star Wars bottle. Now, it’s entirely possible that I may have been a bit harsh and maybe a fresh viewing through new eyes and on the eve of its twentieth year of existence, I may have gotten a new appreciation for this often misunderstood film.

So I pulled out the Blu-Ray disc that I had laying around, popped into my Blu-Ray player, resisted the urge to dive into the extras, and I watched Attack Of The Clones for the first time in years. And you know, I had the DVD release, I popped that into my DVD player, I kicked back and watch this film for the first time in years… and you know how some people would revisit something that they hadn’t touched in years because they had a low opinion of it and then they would go “Well, this isn’t as bad I remember it.”

Well, if the title isn’t much of a clue, then I give you my utmost assurance that no such thoughts came to mind after my viewing of Attack Of The Clones. It is, for all intents and purposes, every bit as bad as I remember it.

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The Bore Of Boba Fett

You know, one of these days, I’m going to enjoy the new Star Wars… and not in an ironic way. For example, my favorite part of The Mandalorian is when the Scout Trooper punches Baby Yoda in the face. That was the best piece of Star Wars television I’ve seen. Also, my favorite scene in the newer Star Wars movies is the last third of Rogue One, where all the main heroes die and then Darth Vader kills a bunch of Rebels as they escape for a new hope.

Actually, you know what? I tell a bit of a lie; The Mandalorian was, for better or worse, one of the better pieces of Star Wars visual media that has been produced since the changeover in ownership to Disney. And despite my favorite part being Baby Yoda being punched in the face, I actually don’t mind the little guy. He and Mando (or Din) have a good relationship and I’m happy to see that they were reunited at the end of the Boba Fett show.

Oh yeah, we’re supposed to talk about The Book Of Boba Fett.

Except… the show is so goddamned boring. Basically, it’s like the last bunch of Star Wars movies; a whole lot of nothing happens throughout several episodes. In fact, the only time where things seemed to be picking up is when they bring back the Mandalorian to help boost up interest in this sagging show. The idea of an older Boba Fett trying to be a nicer ganglord and fighting all these other ganglords or whatever… good lord, I never thought I’d find something that put me to sleep faster than the average 20-minute HHH promo, but this might take the fucking cake.

The only time I had a vested interest in what the show offered was when ol’ Mando showed up and we were following along his adventures. And then we see a bit of the Jedi planet where Baby Yoda is being trained by a CG Luke Skywalker… before he decides to fuck off and join up with Mando again. Hell, my favorite moment in the whole show is when Mando is building his new ship; essentially a recycled Naboo starfighter, but made to look cooler and less lame. I liked that show and giving Mando a starfighter as opposed to another gunship is an inspired choice.

Maybe it’s just me not sold on the concept or maybe it’s just me hoping for more of Mando, but with Boba. Or maybe this Star Wars stuff ain’t for me. And that’s fine. If they do another season of Mando, I’ll check that out then, but until then… no buys for the book of Boba.

Why The Current Star Wars: Battlefront Games Don't Appeal To Me

Every once in a while, I’ll go on Steam and I’ll check the games that are on sale. Every now and then, one game in particular catches my eye.

Star Wars Battlefront II.

The new one.

The one that was once riddled with lootboxes and paid content that everyone threw a fit and EA lost money, forcing them to restructure the game considerably so that you’re less reliant on paid DLC and you can just stick with the basic package. Nowadays, I hear it’s pretty good and that the current version has atoned and made up for the mistakes it’s made.

Every time this pops up on sale, I give it a brief thought and I pass.

Sometime ago, this happened and I ask myself “why?” Why am I not jumping at the chance to grab this once former dumpster fire while it’s nice and cheap.

I supposed part of the reason is that I have the old Battlefront games and I enjoy those enough that they’re all the Star Wars Battlefront that I would ever need… even the gimped PSP games have their moment to shine. Another part could because despite sharing the same name, it’s not quite the same game that I’ve played. It looks similar, but it also looks similar to all those other multiplayer focused first-person shooters that I don’t particularly care for today.

So I skipped this one… again. And I’d imagine I’ll skip it again.

Why am I bringing this up? To be honest with you, I’m not quite sure. I suppose I wanted something to post up here and this is the only thing that really pops to mind. All the best to those who enjoy the game and such. But I have a feeling this isn’t for me.

I really should give that Squadrons game another shot, though.

Either that, or go back to TIE Fighter.

Later.

The “Rise” of Skywalker… Oy

So, it’s been a while since we touched on Star Wars, hasn’t it?

Assuming you skip out on any video reviews I might have uploaded along the way, I think I might’ve touched on anything related to the long-running franchise only a handful of times in the past year. And yes, outside of the video games that I’ve gotten along the way, I have not touched much of Star Wars as of late. But since we’re talking about Star Wars today, I’d imagine most people would’ve expected something on the Mandalorian or one of the new upcoming series or maybe there’s a new video game that I’m not playing and choosing to ignore.

Instead, I’m going to talk about The “Rise” Of Skywalker.

Note the quotations around the word “rise” and that one image of Mark Hamill looking stern – the same one used for my piece of The Last Jedi a couple years back – and think about that for a couple seconds before realizing that you have me all figured out. Then question where you’re resigned with that thought and are left to either move on to something or click the break to learn more and perhaps be amazed by what the actual thought process is.

Ready to go?

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