You know… this whole CM Punk thing feels a bit original. A bit fresh. And I have this nagging feeling that they’re going to fuck this whole thing up. It’s a sad case where you see this hot new thing that WWE has on its lap, ready to be harnessed and pushed to the next stratosphere in an effort to make this whole gimmick cool again… and then you realize there’s no way they’ll give this the proper push it deserves.
Category: Musings
VIDEO – CM Punk Has His Own Pizza
Does John Cena has his own pizza? No.
First Impressions On Suburban Knight – The First (Five?) Parts
(2019 Update: What you’re about to read is the script for the first in a series of videos that shared my thoughts on Channel Awesome’s Suburban Knight web series… those videos aren’t up anymore because fans of that site didn’t like what I have to say. This transcript is the only surviving piece of work from that project, as I no longer have the original video files… a bit of a shame, too.)
Just a word of warning; the following pieces are based largely on first viewings and does not necessarily reflect my overall thoughts on the project. If you want that, you can read my review here. Also, the material might be a bit “crude” for some people’s tastes, so discretion is advised. With that said, enjoy the show.
PART 1
Hey, folks. Apologies in advance for the muffled sound. I am presently recording this audio on my netbook and using a cheap-ass dollar store microphone. I’m presently some place else at the moment and so I have to work with that I have here. In any case, I just though I chime in my first impressions and thoughts on the first episode of the TGWTG 3rd Year Anniversary miniseries, Suburban Knights. I know I said I was going to wait until the series conclusion to put together a review, but this isn’t so much a review as it is some initial impressions. No doubt what I think now is going to differ from when I review the whole thing in its entirety… and with the advent of technology that allows me to hook up my computer to my DVD recording device through S-video, I will be able to record all the chapters and then find the time to watch it all in one shot and then formulate a final review from there. In the meantime, I thought I should just form some initial shots on each chapter of the series. So…
So I’m going to start by focusing on a single scene, where the Nostalgia critic is addressing the rest of the TGWTG crew about the whole quest for a gauntlet that is supposed to bring them riches… funny, I thought that was what the Blip ad revenue was for, but whatever… anyway, they’re listening to him yap, and yap, and yap… and then when Critic turns around, they’re all gone.
That one bit and also another bit towards end when they’re trying to line up for the trailer gave me a bit of a chuckle and as a result, this is already a huge leap above last year’s Kickassia, which was the closest thing to a comedic black hole as you were going to get. I had considered this to be a creative black hole, but then the Angry Video Game Nerd’s ROB episode was released earlier this year and… the less said about that abomination, the better.
So this first chapter of Suburban Knights, the miniseries that was delayed a whole month or so to touch up on the video, is a pretty standard run of the mill set-up episode and for the most part, there isn’t really a whole lot to complain about… well, okay, I kinda wish Doug would tone down the overacting a bit; it just doesn’t suit him all that well and generally exposes his below-par acting abilities. I’m none too fond of the subplot involving FilmBrain’s deluded Critic fetish which is downridely disturbing and very, very close to reaching pedophilic behavior… and yes, that term is appropriate in this context considering Mr. Walker has decided to dress up as an elf boy for the remainder of this miniseries. Yes, I know it’s supposed to be Link, but I’m not going to call him that. I’m going to call him elf boy. And there was that one sigment where there were showing two cars driving by a road and the footage seemed like it was actually sped up a notch for some reason. I really don’t understand what that contributes but it’s something that really caught my eye the first time watching it.
Other than that, I generally thought this is quite a bit of an improvement over Kickassia’s opening chapter, which was about as funny and entertaining as watching. What little of the story was actually presented seems kind of interesting and is far better than the lame plot of conquering a micronation that only a few people know about. And there’s no site to report these things before the project is released, so the moment isn’t spoiled. We have a clear antagonist; a wandering man who apparently hates technology – as evident in his rather decent monologue opposite the obnoxiously annoying 90s stereotype – and apparently has the ability to kill people and destroy things using special effects ripped from Detonation Films… well, it’s a step up over whatever the fuck they were using in Kickassia, so whatever. I’ll take it.
But yeah, we have a clear antagonist, but we’re not sure of his motives yet, but they obviously can’t be good, which should be rather obvious to anyone with common sense… I hope… We also get introduced to the cast of characters as each gets their moment to show off their costume and what have you. Is it a whole lot of character development? Of course not, but it is, at least, something for the non-TGWTG viewer to grab on to. And I’ll be honest; I like the idea of these guys dressing up and acting like the fantasy character they’ve chosen to dress up as. It mixes things up a bit and hopefully will lead to a more diverse cast of characters than what was featured in Kickassia, which were generally a whole bunch of people I neither knew nor cared about. As long as they don’t act like themselves, I think it should be an interesting little series, if nothing else.
So, at least in that regard, Suburban Knights has met my low expectations and I thought it was a good waste of thirty minutes. Not great, not epic, but it’s a step up. Does that mean the rest of the series will be just as good? Well, that remains to be seen… but the first chapter is promising enough. Let’s just hope it’s not for naught.
By the way, Cinema Snob Brad Jones dressed up as Indiana Jones… that was cute.
Shane McMahon Is His Own Man (LA Times Article)
For those of you who are wondering what Shane-O-Mac is up to these days since leaving the family business, he just recently had an interview with the LA Times here. It’s a nice little read and it’s good to see that he’s doing well for himself.
Power Rangers Samurai Coming To Wii (and DS)
They posted a trailer with little gameplay, but why watch that when you can watch Classic Game Room sample the game in detail?
(Note: The Red Ranger apparently has a flame thrower. Now I HAVE to see more Samurai.)
Macho Man's Cause Of Death Revealed
Well, that’s rather tragic. At the very least, it’s not a death that can be blamed on drug overdoses or any of those usual unsavory demises. Still, a sad ending to a great life. My prayers to his family.
TNA Ditches Chyna Due To Chynese Porn
So in an effort to show that wrestling matters, TNA has ceased talks with Chyna now that her brand-new porn film is being released soon… Chyna claims that TNA is missing the boat as a result, but truth be told, TNA already missed the boat. It’s called 1 Night In China.
Probably the smartest thing TNA has done yet.
Back To Porn For Chyna… Oops…
A couple weeks ago, Chyna made her return to sports-entertainment and collecting a PPV payday.
Some time later, Chyna made her return to making porno. (NSFW)
Funny how that works.
Coming Up… Bores Takes A Shot At Robocop… What, Again?
So for the next Irate Gamer video (a rarity if there ever was one), our old buddy, old pal Christopher is going to take a gander at Robocop for the NES…
Wait a minute, didn’t he do this one?
Actually, I don’t think this is a big deal or anything. There’s no written rule saying that you can’t revisit something that you did before… otherwise, any remake out there would be tossed out the window.
I’m actually quite curious as to whether he’ll stick with the first game or venture onto the sequels… some will likely wonder if he’ll actually post said video next week as advertised.
Man Ejected From Impact Wrestling
Apparently, a man was ejected from this evening’s sessions of Impact Wrestling tapings because he was posting taping spoilers on a website through his cell phone and Universal Studios security pretty much found out about it. You know, now would be a good time to consider the tried and tested method of pen and paper. It’s not as instantaneous, but it works… sometimes.
You know, I almost feel bad placing the usual label here because TNA’s not at fault here. However… it does involve a moron… I guess…
EDIT: Despite this new ban, spoilers eventually came up.