Category: DTM’s Fiction

I Asked ChatGPT To Craft An Amazing Video Game Idea

George Wood of Gaming In The Clinton Years fame had a challenge for Eidos. In Tomb Raider III, create a storyline in which Lara gets breast cancer. Imagine the drama of a vulnerable Lara Croft still persisting on her worldly adventures despite her illness. It needs fleshing out, no pun intended, but we guarantee the gaming world would be shocked, stunned, and moved by the effort to make Lara’s character more meaningful. We love Lara, but it’s about time the industry had a big shock for a change.

ChatGPT – ever the creative genius – had the following to say on this amazing video game idea.

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Doctor Boo And Chef Gordon Debate Fish Custard

Doctor Boo and Chef Gordon debate the culinary value of fish fingers and custard. Obviously not a real thing and the AI thing helped a bit, which should strike fear in the heart of Marble Mouth Davies that ChatGPT can produce a better Doctor Who script than anything out of his return trip.

Anyway, here’s the fun portion…

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Boo Goes The Doctor – How Chef Handles Castlevania Wall Meat

I’ve taken the liberty of asking ChatGPT how Gordon Ramsay would react to Castlevania Wall Meat. This is the response I was given…

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Sea Devils Serial Gets New Re-Release Despite RTD’s Efforts

Source: https://www.doctorwhotv.co.uk/doctor-who-sea-devils-special-106375.htm

The classic Jon Pertwee-helmed 1972 Doctor Who serial, The Sea Devils, is getting a fresh new special edition edit coming to BBC’s exclusive online streamer gimmick, due in December. Not mentioned in the story is RTD’s attempts to get the special renamed “The Homo Aquas” since he considers the original “Sea Devil” name to be “racist” and actually considers the Doctor to be the villain since he was played by a white dude. The BBC, naturally, told him to fuck off and go back to his silly Christmas special.

The Sea Devils: Special Edition sees release on December 7th.

Hart And Nash Feud Over A Chair (And Other Kayfabes)

Bret Hart was apparently invited to Summerslam and was upset that WWE never offered him a seat, but HHH’s best buddy Kevin Nash was. But then out comes Kevin Nash to claim that he never even made it to Summerslam and thus was offered no seat. No word from Chris Hansen as to whether he asked either man to take a seat.

Word has it that Nick Khan is pushing for HHH to book the match between Hart and Nash to main event the Royal Rumble from the benevolent and progressive kingdom of Saudi Arabia, with the added perk of making it a Seat On A Pole match, with whoever being able to grab the seat wins the match and the seat. HHH, meanwhile, is hoping to book the match as a main event for whatever WWE PLE show he can pull out of his ass to counter whatever AEW PPV is coming up that needs to be countered.

In other news, TNA President Carlos Silva continues cutting interviews to remind people that he exist and he’s looking for the right number to sell TNA to WWE.

Some of these stories may or may not be true. None of them matter because at least Bill Goldberg didn’t end your career.

I Asked ChatGPT To Write A Doctor Who Script… This Is The Result

In the further adventures of Doctor Boo – hence the recycling of yesterday’s banner – I’ve asked ChatGPT to write a brief scene for a Doctor Who script. Granted, it’s an unlikely doctor/companion combination, but it’s already a better script than anything that the show has put out since Steven Moffat stepped down as showrunner.

Minor spoiler, here: but bonus points for not including any crying.

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The Secret History Of Order 64 – Part 1 of 5

During the Empire’s expansion, an order was given throughout the Imperial forces to exterminate all the Jedi. This came to be known as Order 66. However, there was another order that is less publicized, but also carries just as much weight. It is Order 64 and it involves the extermination of all the Gungans in the galaxy.

When Darth Sidious reorganized the Republic into the Galactic Empire, he made it clear that he viewed the Gungans as more of a nuisance than a threat, but he would not underestimate that threat. Therefore, a top-secret project had begun in the far reaches of the Outer Worlds, where Imperial scientists would develop a weapon capable of extinguishing every Gungan in range without doing harm to the planets that they inhabit. Eventually, that weapon was completed and deployed at a Gungan colony hidden in view. The result was the eradication of that planet’s Gungan population, leaving the world open to occupation.

The decision was then made to deploy the weapon on the planet Naboo, where the great majority of the Gungan race reside. Unfortunately, the ship carrying the weapon was unable to maintain structural integrity during hyperspace and would eventually rendezvous with an awaiting Imperial squadron in several pieces. It would seem that the Emperor’s grand dream of the Gungans being a distant (best forgotten) memory would be denied… except not really, for while the ship carrying the weapon had fallen part, the device itself had not. Sure, it wasn’t in the best of conditions, but it can be salvaged and in closer proximity to its intended target, a more robust ship can built to carry the weapon to Naboo, where it will accomplish its ultimate goal.

And so the plan was made to dissemble the weapon and carry the pieces over to a nearby Imperial laboratory, where research would continue on the weapon until it was ready to be deployed. The good news is that after a few years, the weapon was back in operating status and was awaiting a new ship to carry out its mission.

The bad news is that, elsewhere in the galaxy, there is a rebel uprising… one that would prove to be even more of a nuisance than the Gungans ever were.

To be continued…

Longtime Trekkie Reacts To New Alien Movie Trailer: “Where Are All The Romulans?”

Longtime Trekkie Theodore L. Pinkus was interviewed by local media and expressed his excitement for the upcoming Alien: Romulus motion picture. The latest attempt by FOX to inject new life to the Alien franchise after several failed attempts was met with approval from the longtime Star Trek fan.

“You know, it was a well-done trailer,” Pinkus stated, “Looked really dark and scary. This might be the first Alien movie in a while that actually looks like it could be good.”

Pinkus did note one aspect of the trailer that got to him and he couldn’t quite put his finger on it until the last moment.

“Where are the Romulans?” he decried. “If you’re going to name your movie Alien: Romulus and you’re going to have it take place on Romulus, it only makes sense that there should be Romulans in this movie!”

“Instead, it’s just a bunch of humans. Boring.”

After a brief pause, the interviewer decided to – calmly and politely – explain to Pinkus that the Romulans are part of Star Trek, which has nothing to do with this movie. He also had to explain to Pinkus that Romulus was referring to the historical figure Romulus.

Pinkus stared at the interviewer blankly, trying to process what was just told to him. After what seemed like five minutes of uncomfortable silence, Pinkus finally mustered the energy to respond.

“Will there be Klingons, at least?”

Tony Khan Uses Black Magic To Ban Joe Hendry From Ever Appearing In AEW

They say that if you say his name, Joe Hendry will appear.

Already making waves in his current home promotion of TNA Wrestling, the Scottish sensation and former Local Hero recently made waves by appearing on WWE’s NXT television show on Tuesday nights, much to the delight of the crowd. Not only that, but it seems that Hendry’s appearances have had effect on the ratings and overall television product.

Hearing about this and fearful that Joe Hendry’s magic might effect his own promotions, AEW president and ROH owner Tony Khan had administered some black magic hocus pocus to prevent Joe Hendry from ever appearing on AEW television for the foreseeable future. Not even saying his name would cause the former WCPW Champion to appear at either AEW or ROH events for the foreseeable future. While Khan considers Hendry to be a great wrestler, he’s nowhere near the greatness of his many big wrestling stars like Jumpin’ Jack Perry or the Warhorsemen. Hendry’s appearing in AEW could invoke some much needed energy and enthusiasm into the show, something Khan clearly doesn’t want to detracted from the main event angle of the Elite running roughshod in AEW ever since they attacked the AEW head… even though he’s back in the office.

Morale in the AEW locker room is said to be at an all-time low, but Tony Khan promise that they have all the talent they need right here… before announcing the signing of ten more free agents from some obscure Japanese wrestling promotion that nobody outside of the hardcoriest of hardcore fans could honestly give two fucks about.

Also in other news, Drew McIntyre played a game of Pong against a vacuum cleaner. He was on the verge of winning until that fucking asshole Phil came along and distracted Drew, allowing the vacuum clean to mount an incredible comeback for the win.