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DVD Review – The Best Of Power Rangers: The Ultimate Rangers (2003 DVD Release)

So we’re looking at the 2003 DVD compilation called The Best Of Power Rangers: The Ultimate Rangers, which collects some of the series’ best episodes or at the very least, the highlights. If I’m not mistaken, this is the first time that the Power Rangers franchise has seen a DVD release; unless the movie 2-pack had already been released around this time. In any event, let’s see how this DVD release stacks up.

THE GOOD: The disc collects five Power Rangers television stories; the two-part MMPR episode “White Light”, the two-part Power Rangers In Space finale “Countdown to Destruction”, the Lost Galaxy/In Space team-up episode “To The Tenth Power”, the Lightspeed Rescue/Lost Galaxy team-up episode “Trakeena’s Revenge”, and finally, the Wild Force episode “Forever Red.” In terms of the three two-part episodes, they have been edited to form a single, longer episode rather than two parts. For what it’s worth, you have some of the better Power Rangers stories presented here and while one could argue of more episodes being included, what they have here is fine… somewhat.

THE BAD: Not much in terms of bonus features; just a couple promos for other products and that’s about it. The set includes only one episode of the In Space/Lost Galaxy team-up and not the second episode. Also, there isn’t any sort of chapter selection where you can skip to a particular scene; instead, you skip episodes, so you’ll need to fast forward to reach a particular scene of an episode. The episode selection, while solid, also seems a bit random, as “White Light” seems tacked on for the sake of having an MMPR episode on there while the rest of the package were team-up episodes (though Countdown isn’t technically a team-up per se, it does feature characters outside the usual PRiS sphere of influence). Video quality also isn’t fantastic, as some noticeable grain and noise effects can be seen during sequences that feature lots of dark colors.

OVERALL: For a cheap-o DVD release, the Ultimate Rangers isn’t the worst thing out there as it collects five of the better Power Rangers stories up to that point. Arguments could be made as to which episodes should or shouldn’t have made the cut, but as a nice primer of the franchise’s high points and a collection of its best stories, it’s more than adequate. Fairly cheap, not bad, it gets the job done well enough.

RATING: 7/10

MOVIE REVIEW – Gigli (2003)

“Ever wonder how Uwe Boll feels when people crap on his video game movies without ever having watched them? He should try and sit through the J’Lo/Affleck mess called Gigli.

“I rented this movie once, hearing all the bad rap. Then I popped it in. Five minutes into the movie, I rewind the tape and brought it back to the video store. Five minutes into a movie and I hated it… what does that tell you about the rest of the movie?

“As years went on and I grew more of a spine, I eventually decided to sit through the entire movie… and after that, arranged for an immediate lobotomy so that I can purge all memory of this drivel.”

That’s how I started my imdb review posting back in October 2003… the movie came out in August… how could I have rented the video? Through the magic of instant cassettes… or a bootleg copy that I saw at a friend’s house. And yes, after watching more of this garbage, I certainly FELT like I’ve aged years. However, the last paragraph in that review holds very true.

“Gigli is pure garbage. There is not ONE single, solitary positive aspect to be found anywhere within this picture. There is not ONE aspect that can deem Gigli one of those “so bad it’s good” films that I’ll find enjoyment out of. If there is any high point to be found, it was ultimately sucked into the black hole of ineptitude that is Gigli, a film with an unlikable cast of “characters” or lack thereof, a convoluted storyline, terrible pacing, and an utter lack of chemistry among any of the cast. It’s just a mess of a motion picture that somehow got approved and shipped out for public consumption, reaffirming my lack of faith in humanity.”

I know what you’re asking. “Ah, Dave. Aren’t you being overly dramatic? It’s just a rom-com.”

Oh, you poor bastards. I’m not being OVERLY dramatic… if anything, I’m being OVERLY nice.

Gigli plays out like a shitty parody of a mobster movie. Ben Affleck has been in better stuff, he has done better performances, and this is neither. The same can be said for Jennifer Lopez or anyone else in this film. Was this a vanity project for the Bennifer couple or just something everyone was doing for the money and they weren’t even going to try. You can try and convince me of one or the other, but there’s no reason to believe that BOTH can’t be true at once.

There is no reason to watch Gigli. If you’re one of the many who skipped on this movie when it came out, continue to do so. And if anyone suggests that you need to watch this movie as a rite of passage, disown them. They don’t deserve to be part of your life… or any realm of existence for that matter.

Fuck this movie.

DVD Review – Power Rangers Fox Double Feature Set (2001)

One of my first DVD purchases was this Power Rangers Fox Double Feature, which collects the two movies; Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie from 1995 and Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie from 1997. Released as a double-sided DVD, both films include subtitles, a theatrical trailer, and a short behind the scenes video originally seen on older Fox VHS tapes. This DVD was released in 2001 and was the only semblance of Power Rangers on DVD until that Best Of compilation that was released a couple years after.

THE GOOD: You’re getting the two Power Rangers movies for the price of one, which is a pretty sweet deal from the get-go. And depending on your point of view, the films either held up extremely well or they were never good to begin with. The picture quality, for the most part, is pretty good and are presented in widescreen, which may or may not be a good thing depending on your point of view.

THE BAD: It’s a single, double-sided disc, which means you need to flip the disc in order to watch the desired film. I’ve always hated this idea because while it is cheap, it just means both sides are susceptible to scratching and easy damage. Not surprisingly, both movies skimp on extras, with only one theatrical trailer and a short making of vignette for each film. Quite disappointing since both had longer BTS specials that would’ve been a cool bonus. There’s also some weird cropping issues where there’s significantly less picture than the VHS releases, which seems odd. Oh, and the first movie is missing “Mighty Morphin” from its title, implying a UK cut or something to that extent.

OVERALL: It doesn’t take much to see that this is a pretty lazy package that’s assembled here with little care put to the final product. Still, both movies on DVD is still a pretty sweet deal, but here’s hoping that somewhere down the line, these films will either get individual releases or possibly released as a two-disc set, which would be preferable.

Is Dino Thunder An Apology For Ninja Storm?

I woke up one morning and waited in anticipation of Ninja Storm, the newest incarnation of Power Rangers and the first one under the belt of Village Roadshow productions. The usual questions comes up, the usual spoiler info is leaked, but all in all, that wouldn’t stop me from having high hopes for this thing.

At eleven thirty, the show begins and I watch with an interested eye.

An hour later, I’m asking myself what the fuck that was.

After about ten episodes of Ninja Storm, I completely shut out on the show. I’ve glanced on a couple of eps late in the series and the quality seemed to have improved somewhat, but not enough for me to stick with it.

For the first time since following the Power Rangers franchise in the very beginning, I’ve turned away from the show, not watching a majority of the episodes and quite frankly not caring. Didn’t even stick around for the finale. That had the makings of being a shitty product in comparison to those before and after. Yes, this show sucked more than Turbo and I’ve seen enough Turbo to know it.

I don’t blame the actors; they played their roles well considering what they had to work with.

I don’t blame the Jap footage; it’s blends nicely with the U.S. footage, even moreso than Wild Force.

I blame it on crappy writing.

It’s a kid show; I know that. On the other hand, you watch some other kids shows and realize that there’s more sophistication than what Ninja Storm had to offer. When an episode of a cheap-ass cartoon such as Superfriends is more sophisticated and provides more entertainment than Ninja Storm, you know something is wrong.

Apparently, Doug saw something wrong and decided to fix it.

DinoThunder seems to be Doug Sloan’s way of apologizing for the crapfest that is Ninja Storm. From the initial episodes, the show looks very promising. The addition of Jason Frank (who reprises his role as Doctor Tommy… how did that happen?) is an interesting move and the current cast of Rangers seem watchable and bearable.

Apology accepted, Doug. Don’t fuck THIS show up.

Classic Bite Commentary #46 – January 13th, 2004

Another year, another Bite commentary, more headaches for all those involve; me and my two middle fingers that do all the typing in order to resume my projects after a 2-week hiatus that involved playing my new Final Fantasy Origins game and keeping my new Klingon action figure company. Brace yourselves; this will be a long pisser tonight. (2013 Dave Says: No, it won’t.)

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Classic Bite Commentary #45 – December 23th, 2003

First off, a Happy Holidays to all. Enjoy your two-weeks of days offs, losers. I know I will. heh heh heh. The actual commentary today will be short; instead what’s beefing this thing up are all the extra stuff that precede it.

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Classic Bite Commentary #44 – November 23rd, 2003

Sorry for not writing soon, folks, but I’ve been a little worn out the past couple of weeks. It happens and I’m not making any excuses. As a result, I hadn’t had time to do most of the stuff I was hoping to get up by now. This seemed to be a recurring trend during this time in my life. As you may have noticed, the majority part of the site is down. Only the fanfiction and this commentary is up. This, of course, usually indicates that the site is undergoing a refit (that or a shutdown, but in this case, it’s a minor refit). This shouldn’t take me long, as I have been working on the majority part of my time.

(2014 Dave Says: Unfortunately, the DTM Webstation website was more often than not in a state of shutdown as I tinkered around with Frontpage and Photoshop, fiddling around with web designs that seemed cool at the time, but would look rather ghastly today.)

So all the announced projects have been sidetracked, due to the dedication of renovating this site (that and my creative juices hasn’t flowed much these days). However, any and all updates planned will be up (slowly) by the end of the year (2003 or 2004? Who knows?).

(Who knows indeed? I had lots of planned projects and only a few of them came to fruition… doesn’t that sound familiar?)

By the way, do you like the Sailor Moon gif at the opening page? It’s a quick fix that took me five minutes to put together… and I mean that quite literally.

(I assume I was talking about a two-frame Laughing Minako GIF that would see the rest of its days on the Webstation update page… don’t remember if I still have THAT laying around somewhere, but it’s due for a comeback of sorts.)

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Classic Bite Commentary #43 – October 31st, 2003

Did you really believe that the Ultimate Warrior (real name: Warrior) was really returning to “actual” wrestling? HA! From the words of Mr. Warrior himself:

Hello Warriors. Those of you who have continued to follow my career going-ons know Ultimate Warrior has long been waiting for the perfect (and principled) time to unleash a ring return. Amidst the never-ending rumors and mistruths spread by others, the time to return has come and is now and it is with Acclaim! An entertainment promotion with class, pride and integrity. After many years of absence, I am thrilled to be working again with Acclaim’s talented, creative and professional staff on the new, next-level of their Legends of Wrestling: SHOWDOWN video game! Acclaim has assured me that Ultimate Warrior rises and soars and rules, shakes ropes, shatters hopes and awakens the Gods of Parts Unknown in this incredible opportunity to settle ALL SCORES, unfinished business and even new beefs!, in the ULTIMATE place to do battle — THE SHOWDOWN RING! The intensity of Ultimate Warrior lives on.

Fine, so Warrior (aka Ultimate Warrior) is a playable character in the latest Acclaim wrestling offering. Whoopee. What does this have to do with a wrestling return? And why would anyone demand a return of Ultimate Warrior (real name: Warrior)? Always Believe… My Ass.

Other than that, things have been pretty smooth these days. Nothing of note has happened that isn’t commonplace in my wacky world. It’s Halloween, but you knew that already.

(2013 Dave Says: Oh, 2003 Dave. So much of a missed opportunity.)

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Classic Bite Commentary #42 – October 27th, 2003

Good morning, citizens. How are we today? Man, I never thought printing classes would be so exhausting, even when learning something as complex as tracing on Adobe Illustrator. But I digress. This is one of the best things that could ever happen to me. Just several months ago, I was under a cloud of depression I thought would never be lifted and while I’m still a depressed bastard, the oppurtunity to learn printing preses is a thrilling experience, one that I hope to make the most of. Then again, I could always be a film director. Kevin Smith said it best: when in Hollywood, you only fail upwards… ugh, never again will I seek out Silent Bob for quotes.

This could be an alibi for not updating the site or even posting a good commentary in past weeks, but then I’d be fooling myself. I’ve written bits and pieces of this thing many times, but never got the chance to post it, so rather than make it up to date, I figure just post it as is, since nothing is time specific anyway. So here you go. Maybe some time down the road, I’ll sit down and write out a decent commentary that is smooth… the best smoothness I could muster anyway.

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MMPR Versus The Phaker Rangers

The Power Rangers must battle distorted clones of themselves, resulting a fight of ridiculous proportions.

Disclaimer: The author would like to clarify that Power Rangers and its characters is owned by Saban Brands and not the author. Also, this work references a wrestling event produced by World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE), which was then-known as the World Wrestling Federation (WWF).

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