Author: dtm666

I ramble about things.

25 Years Later And Ready To Rumble Is (Still) The Worst Movie In Human History

Twenty-five years ago, on this very day, Ready To Rumble was unleashed onto the world.

I never watched this thing in theaters, but even back in 2000, I’ve heard about how bad this film was. Not just in terms of being a bad wrestling movie, but also just a bad comedy in general. It wouldn’t be until a couple years later that I’d eventually get around to renting a copy of Ready To Rumble from the video store and see for myself what I was missing. After pressing PLAY, I bore witness to what everyone else had been raving (or raging) about these past few years. Shortly afterwards, I opened up Frontpage on my computer, started a new document, and proceeded to write the words “Ready To Rumble is the worst film in human history.”

This would have been back in 2003-2004 when I was still renting videos and also when I was first putting up stuff on the IMDB site. At some point, I was going to post this little write-up on there until I realized that I had more than whatever the usual word limit was for IMDB user submitted reviews… and also there was more than a fair share of colorful metaphors… so it never saw the light of day… well, until the move to this blog, which you can find here.

About a decade later, I’d revisit the movie as part of my Slideshow Movie Review series and I’m not quite sure that I truly vocalized my disdain for this film. So now, here we are and… listen, I am not going to try and convince you that this is a misunderstood masterpiece. That much is obviously when the title of this post is “25 Years Later And Ready To Rumble Is (Still) The Worst Movie In Human History.” And to this very day, I have yet to see a movie that I would consider to be worse than Ready To Rumble. I’ve seen plenty of juvenile films in my day. I’ve seen plenty of utterly terrible films. But none of them were as bad as Ready To Rumble.

Hell, if the day ever comes and I break my long-standing moratorium on Ghostbusters 2016 to give that a watch, you know what? Yes, that movie is gonna suck, but I can guarantee you that it won’t be as bad as Ready To Rumble.

(Maybe that’s why I don’t want to watch that movie now that I think about it. Imagine the horror I’d feel when the possibility exists of a movie that is WORSE than Ready To Rumble. I don’t even want to contemplate that.)

Look, I’m sure there are movies. People can come up and tell me that the Deuce Bigelow movies are the nadir of comedy films. And yeah, those are bad… but you already know going in that those movies are aiming for the lowest common denominator. Ready To Rumble aims a little lower than that. It’s a terrible movie that is so unfunny and yet reprehensibly stupid that it somehow makes you stupider with each passing second that your eyes and brain are exposed to this vapid piece of garbage. Now would I have had this same kind of contempt for this film had I not been a wrestling fan? And the answer would invariably be yes. In fact, if I had not been a wrestling fan or if I had downright hated wrestling, I probably would’ve despised this movie even more.

Look, I just rented a painfully dull and unfunny film called Leonard Part 6 from Amazon for the expressed purpose of watching a movie other than Section 31. Yes, the one with Bill Cosby… and yes, it is every bit as bad as people made it out to be. But you want to know something? The worst thing that I could say about this movie was that it was BORING. None of the jokes landed. None of the bits worked. All the actors were phoning it in. It was deathly dull. And yes, I would have considered this a big ol’ waste of time… but on the flip side, I did not walk away from Leonard Part 6 with the same kind of contempt and utter bile that I got from watching five minutes of Ready To Rumble.

Some time ago, F4WOnline guy Bryan Alvarez teamed up with former wrestler Lance Storm and indy wrestler/former MMA guy “Filthy” Tom Lawlor to review this movie. Alvarez, a former wrestler and a normally intelligent fellow, had claimed that this movie is not the worst film ever made. When pushed to name a worse one, he admittedly couldn’t name one, but maintained that this was not as bad as people say that it is. This proves that Ready To Rumble has the capability of rotting brain cells of any person who willingly exposes them to repeated viewings of this thing.

Anyhoo… here we are.

Twenty-five years later AND STILL the absolute worst movie in human history… Ready To Rumble.

See you all in another twenty-five where we get to do this shit all over again.

State Of The Blog – April 2025

Hello there. Fancy seeing you here.

I was hoping to have had this up sooner than later, but unfortunately, some health complications got the better of me recently that forced me to take a step back on certain things. To make a long story short, I’ve had a Crohn’s flare up last week – which means my bowels started to hurt real bad and I was, for the most part, not able to sleep. It sucked. I went to see a doctor. I got some meds to get it treated and I’m waiting for a specialist to call and book an appointment. Such is the way of public healthcare; hoping for something unreliable to be somewhat reliable.

In the meantime, I want to say that I’m feeling better… in that the meds are helping me with my abdominal pains and I’m getting some better sleep, but then I start getting into these coughing fits that so far is easily controlled with some home remedies of sorts, but they are, for the most part, what’s keeping me from doing any of the really fun stuff like live streams and the Sunday Gimmick Tables. Again, it sucks… and it seems like whenever I want to try and make a major push to pump out some more fun stuff, there’s always something to curtail that piece of business.

For now, let me just say that I’m still here. I’m still in relatively good health. I don’t feel like I’m going to keel over and croak any time soon. And I’m in relatively good hands with this doctor that I’ve been seeing, who has been a tremendous help in a province that is lacking in doctors that are genuinely helpful. I can tell you that, at the moment, I’m getting some stuff together – not just reviews, but also putting together a Ramble video to discuss the recent Nintendo Switch 2 details that have been brought up, along with some other things because let’s be honest – I’m more likely to get the minor things than a brand new system, especially at that price tag.

Right now, I’m aiming to resume video reviews next Monday (April 14th) and the goal is to resume the usual Monday-Wednesday-Friday upload cycle… but if I feel the need to scale things back in order to maintain some level of consistent upload schedule, then we’ll settle for two-a-week (Tuesday-Friday). Either way, I want to make sure that there’s some frequency of regular uploads on a weekly basis.

So this is where we’re at now. I’m sorry that things have been more pear-shaped than usual, but know that I’m doing whatever I need to do to get myself fixed up so I can get on with my life and also eventually get this place up and running to a respectable level. Please look forward to the day when that eventually happens.

And hey… if I manage a live stream somewhere along the way, you’ll know that we’re on the mend. Until then… take care.

But before you go, some house-keeping notes written before this whole spiel came into being.

Continue reading “State Of The Blog – April 2025”

John Cena Was Always The Heel

On Saturday, March 1st, 2025, at the WWE Elimination Chamber premium live event from Toronto, 16x WWE World Champion and once franchise player John Cena did the unthinkable when he aligned himself with DWAYNE and beat the crap out of undisputed WWE Champion Cody Rhodes, finally turning heel for the first time since 2003. Wrestling audiences and the WWE Universe were in awe, citing this as the greatest turn in recent memory.

My reaction to the turn? Took them long enough.

You folks need to understand something here. What John Cena did wasn’t going against his principles. He was simply doing what was best for the company that made him a household name. John Cena was all about doing what was best for the brand. If that meant toning down his act to be more acceptable to the kiddies, if that meant being the goofy do-gooder in the same vein as Hulk Hogan (minus the bullshit), if that meant siding with the company over things that fans took issue with, then that’s what he was going to do. People claimed that John Cena sold out, but really, they’re just seeing him for what he truly is.

See, in my eyes, John Cena was always the heel. Whenever he would be in a program against somewhat who deserved a run with the WWE title, I’d be rooting for the other guy. One only need to read my wrestling musings from the late-2000s to early-2010s when I would refer to Cena with juvenile names such as “John Worthless” or “John Useless” or some other stuff like that. Every time there was an up-and-coming talent that was catching fire and John Cena was somehow involved, that was usually the kiss of death for that up-and-comer. See, it wasn’t about Cena giving the new guy the rub, but rather it was about Cena taking the spotlight from the new guy; the idea being that “hey, if I pair up with this guy, people will stop booing me.”

They try this every single time and it not only almost fails every time, but the guy that they paired Cena up with that was popular with the fans… well, he’d be off to jobber territory, seen as collateral damage in the effort to make Cena look really, really strong. And so the end result becomes not only is Cena no more loved than before, but eventually, they figure out how to chant JOHN CENA SUCKS in line with his theme song. How bad was Cena getting it in the ass from the crowd? When Rock came along and Cena decided to be the defender of WWE honor because he’s a full-timer versus the part-timer Rock who says he cares but really doesn’t… people were rooting for the part-timer. It got to a point where anytime they try to do this part-timer vs. full-timer thing these days, nine times out of ten, they’ll cheer for the more popular part-timer because the full-timer comes across as a whiny geek.

And so one day, John Cena’s time in the ring is limited. He spends more time in Hollywood, he gets meme’d, he comes back for sporadic appearances to put over younger talent, including Austin Theory… with whom they’d proceed to do fuck all with afterwards. And when John Cena decided to go for one last farewell tour… well, this year’s he’s gonna win the Rumble… that didn’t pan out… so fuck it, he inserted himself into the Elimination Chamber and he won the match… and then he turned on Cody… and then he cut his promo a couple weeks later about being in an abusive relationship with the fans, who were just awful, awful idiot losers that kept booing him no matter what stunts he did to get their approval.

Nothing he said in that promo was untrue… but he’s just admitting what most of us already know. But then comes the unspoken part… people boo him being in the spot he’s in because they’d rather see other people be in that spot. In a sense, John Cena’s journey was similar to that of Roman Reigns when he first broke away from the Shield and WWE would attempt every trick under the sun to get people to like the guy because THIS TIME FOR SURE… and it never happened. In fact, what did happen was that Roman took time off for leukemia, came back, took time off because of COVID, and drastically reinvented his whole schtick to become the Tribal Chief he is today. So yes, he started off as a babyface hero nobody wanted, became one of the biggest heels that people started to like, and now he’s one of the top fan favorites in the company. Took him long enough to get there, but he got there.

This John Cena heel turn… if you want to call it that… isn’t going to mean anything in the long term. It’s not a paradigm shifting event like Hogan being the third man. It’s more along the lines of Andre The Giant, who was a fan favorite for years and often neglected by all who mattered, taking matters into his own hands by joining with evil forces to confront the fans’ new beloved babyface. It adds intrigue to the WWE Championship picture at Wrestlemania 41, but that’s about all it’s going to do.

And you know what? I’m fine with that.

I’ll admit that I wasn’t too keen on the whole Cody/Cena thing and even with this latest wrinkle, I’m still a bit on the cautious side of things. Still, you’ve got a bit of spice in a feud that desperately needed it. And if nothing else, fuels potential speculation for what happens next.

Val Kilmer

Val Kilmer – best known for his roles in Top Gun, Tombstone, Batman Forever, Heat, The Saint, and more – had passed away from pneumonia this past Tuesday. That he passed away on April 1st gave me pause and had me wondering if this was a cruel April Fool’s joke, but that proved to not be the case. Kilmer had been struggling with some ailments – notably throat cancer – so while he shall be missed, his suffering has come to an end.

Thoughts and prayers to his family and friends.

Godspeed, Val.

AEW Revolution 2025

And then there was the AEW Revolution show… which I was able to watch while at a friend’s house taking care of some stuff… yes, it’s another four hour show with the usual great wrestling and some spectacles of sort, but this is also comes across as a late-90s WCW PPV, where the undercard matches are great, but the main event is shit.

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I Watched Leonard Part 6 Instead Of Section 31

Last week, I posted on this blog that I had an epiphany of sorts when someone asked me about that Section 31 film. The epiphany was that I would much rather watch Leonard Part 6 – the much reviled box office bomb starring disgraced comedian Bill Cosby – than the Section 31 film. I had then teased that I would have something special for today… I didn’t say what, but smart readers who read that post and then read yesterday’s semi-monthly proclamation that I did not watch Alex Kurtzman’s Section 31 film starring Academy Award Winner Michelle Yeoh should have been able to put two and two together.

And when you did, you probably thought, “Oh, sure. Yeah, sure. You don’t want to watch the newest Star Trek thing on Paramount Plus because it looks like shit, BUT you have no problem spending money on a shitty comedy movie from the eighties starring one of the shittiest men in the world. HAR! HAR! GOOD ONE, PAL!”

You fuckers thought that I was joking. Hell, you figured that after a whole afternoon of radio silence, there was nothing to this whole deal and my little tease was an early April Fool’s joke.

Well…

Turns out the joke was on me…

Continue reading “I Watched Leonard Part 6 Instead Of Section 31”

On The 31st Day… A Reminder That I Did Not Watch Section 31

It is March 31st of the year 2025 and I am here to tell you that I have still not watched the critically-divisive Section 31 movie starring Academy Award Winner Michelle Yeoh.

The idea occurred to me to make this a regular tradition. For every month that passes, I make a post on the 31st day of the month (should it apply) that I have not watched this film.

I do this not out of pride.

I do this not out of integrity.

I do this because it amuses me greatly.

Tomorrow, I have something special for you folks.