COMIC REVIEW – Star Trek: Countdown To Darkness (2012-2013)

Much like the previous film, Star Trek Into Darkness – the overall twelfth Trek film and the second in the Kelvin Timeline trilogy of films – got its own prequel comic book series in the form of Countdown To Darkness… and in hindsight, this one hasn’t aged all that well.

Don’t get me wrong; as a story in a vacuum, it’s a fairly traditional Trek story involving a trip to a new planet, the discovering of a reimagined classic character, the depiction of Klingons in this new universe, and an otherwise, fairly entertaining romp. There are some minor inconsistencies in terms of canon – the mention of a previous Starship Enterprise before the one featured in the movie, for example… which I don’t believe ever made it to Kelvin canon – but as a standalone adventure, it’s a perfectly adequate Trek comic book.

As a tie-in comic, there are a couple plotpoints that tie in to the movie in question, but these are mostly related to comments made in passing in the film. Unlike the first Countdown miniseries or even the Nero miniseries that came afterwards, there’s no real reason to dive into this one expecting anything that would further your enjoyment of what has since become a somewhat divisive motion picture.

David Messina’s artwork is still pretty much a highlight to these comics and pretty much drive the series onwards. But he’s provided artwork for many superior Trek minis. Not quite his best work, but still pretty good.

Countdown to Darkness is fairly basic Trek fare and an underwhelming tie-in comic.

COMIC REVIEW – Star Trek: Nero (2010)

The other Trek 09 prequel comic miniseries focuses on Nero and what he’s been up to in between the prologue and the rest of the movie many years later. Beginning shortly after George Kirk sacrificed his ship and his life to save the fleeing crew, Nero and his ship are soon ambushed and captured by Klingons, who somewhat resemble the Klingons we’re familiar with when they don’t have their helmets on.

A lot of the Klingon stuff is based on deleted scenes from the movie and Nero’s band eventually make their escape, but there is an additional element that comes into play that gives Nero the answer to where and when to find Spock. I won’t spoil it here, but it is a nod to another Star Trek movie that I thought made quite a bit of scene in the larger picture and was a nice fit here.

David Messina returns to art duties here and he hasn’t missed a beat. The same kind of colors and character portrayals are pretty spot-on in his own stylized way and his interpretation of the Klingon ships as well as the battle at the end of the series is pretty good,.

Nero isn’t quite as good or as essential as Countdown, but it’s still a pretty good read and fills in the gap nicely between point A and point B.

COMIC REVIEW – Star Trek: Countdown (2009)

2009 saw Star Trek get a “reboot” of sorts in the form of what is now known as the Kelvin Timeline.

The story of the Kelvin Timeline involves time travel that created an alternate reality so that these movies can co-exist with the “prime” universe of the previous Trek shows. And so a comic miniseries was conceived to give us some backstory as to how we got to t his point… and while the more recent Picard series (or as I’d prefer to call it, Blunt Talk: The Next Generation) has effectively curtailed Countdown’s chances of (already non-existent) canonical status, when it comes to giving that generation of Trek a proper sendoff while also leading us to the next Trek era, Countdown has it nailed.

It tells the story of Nero, a humble minor who assists Spock in attempting to save Romulus from the expanding supernova, but when that doesn’t happen, we see his descent into madness and the origin of his mining ship, the Narada. In addition, we get appearances from Next Gen characters such as Jean-Luc Picard (now an ambassador to Vulcan), Data (revived in B4 and now Captain of the USS Enterprise-E), and a couple others even. And they’re all true and consistent with how the characters have been portrayed all these years, which is more than what I could say for BTTNG.

This series was my first exposure to artist David M|essina, who had done a prior Trek mini for IDW and would eventually do art for several more Trek series. I like his style; his depiction of the characters are true to form while being somewhat stylized, the various space settings and ships look fairly accurate to what was on screen, and the choice of coloring to create a somewhat somber tone for the book, yet retaining some of the old TNG movie aesthetics is much appreciated.

A pity that this couldn’t have been used as a backstory for what would come after and we got Blunt Talk: The Next Generation (a.k.a. Star Trek: Picard) instead, because in terms of not only providing the backstory for two of the film’s key characters, but also giving us a satisfying farewell to the Next Gen crew, Countdown has it nailed to a tee.

GameFAQs Review – Centipede (Atari 7800)

CENTIPEDE is a well-known 1980 arcade classic from Atari, where you have to fend off against the eponymous Centipede and its hordes of minions. It’s a tremendously enjoyable affair, became a hit, and was eventually ported to several home video gaming systems. The version were going to be looking at today is the Atari 7800 iteration and this is actually a pretty good port of Centipede on the Atari 7800.

Of course, this isn’t a perfect port in regards to gameplay; the original Centipede arcade game used a trackball as its main input for controlling your bug blaster thing, whereas on the Atari 7800, you were using the stock 7800 joystick or equivalent controller and there’s no trackball support for this version of Centipede. For the most part, control in Centipede is a pretty solid and simple affair. No real complaints in this department. It’s really no different from almost any other home conversion of Centipede you’d find on the market. It works, it’s responsive, it suits your needs just fine. Nothing more to add on that count.

Gameplay is pretty much the same familiar Centipede; clear away the mushrooms and kill off the Centipede segments for points, as well as spiders and other critters looking to make life difficult for you. Nothing new or different in that regard; you also have difficulty select in the grand tradition of Atari 7800 homeports, so if you’re having a bit of trouble, turn it down a notch. Nobody will know…

The game has some rather nice graphics and closely matches the visuals of the arcade original, save from minor rough edges… but still, it looks pretty nice. This is different from what was done the 7800 port of Asteroids, where the traditional vector-based space rocks were replaced with actual well-rounded space rocks… with craters… and smooth animation. But Centipede looks really good. Just about the only improvement made to the game is that everything looks a tad bigger – probably to fill the screen considering the arcade’s vertical screen doesn’t lend itself too well to horizontal home televisions, but it looks good. I can’t really complain.

As for the sound, it has all the sounds of Centipede and it sounds pretty good. Not much more to say that that; I’ve got no issues with the sound.

It goes without saying that Centipede is an enjoyable yet challenge arcade shooter. Easy to pick up, simple to understand, and yet difficult to conquer. The Atari 7800 version of Centipede does a superb job of bringing the action, overcoming the lack of a trackball controller with its solid traditional controls. This is just another in a long line of excellent arcade conversions on the Atari 7800, which was one of the main strengths of the system. Centipede is a great game, loads of fun, worth a look if you own a 7800.

PROS:
– Solid conversion of Centipede with multiple difficulty settings.
– Controls well with the stock joystick or gamepad

CONS:
– No trackball support

FINAL SCORE: 9/10

COMIC REVIEW – Superman #19 (Jan. 2020)

This comic book is also a piece of shit.

Continuing from last issue’s ridiculously retarded plot thread where Superman reveals his identity as Clark Kent to the world, we have the very unrealistic reaction of everyone being happy for him and his brave act, Perry White “firing” Clark Kent and hiring Superman as a staff writer… because that makes sense. And then he gets into a fight with Mongul on the…

You know what? I don’t care. This whole thing is fucking stupid.

Anyone remember when DC tried this outing of Clark Kent/Superman a few years back with that equally shitty TRUTH story arc? Anyone remember the reaction to that sort of thing. Perry fires Clark and Clark goes down on his luck… and that’s before shit hits the fan. Anyone remember when Marvel outed Spider-Man for that Civil War garbage and then everything went straight to hell with him? Does this fucking hack that people still believe is a good writer forget about the time he outed Daredevil and the consequences that came afterwards? Now, all of a sudden, Supes publicly does away with the whole secret identity thing and everyone is… happy for him? Why?

If this were a realistic situation, people would be genuinely pissed off about this… because the guy who was writing the news in their favorite newspaper was really the guy making the news this entire time. It makes you wonder if anything out of that newspaper could be considered legitimate news since they’ve been harboring someone who has been making the news that made the newspaper what it is, today. Honestly, that should’ve been the take we’d go with here. We’re living in an age of fake news this and sensationalist media that where everything is questioned and debated… why not play up on that by having people question the integrity of the Planet?

It wouldn’t have made this story any better, because fuck, nothing will… but it would’ve been an interesting take, at least.

The artwork in general isn’t anything worth mentioning. It’s fine for what it is and quite frankly, anything that doesn’t look horrendous is fine by my book. However, even if this had some of the most beautifully-drawn and colored comic panels in the history of comics, it wouldn’t be enough to turn this turkey dung into something worthwhile.

In conclusion, Superman’s current arc is still a piece of shit and I’ve spent enough time on this crap.

COMIC REVIEW – Superman #18 (Dec. 2019)

This comic book is a piece of shit.

So this is it, huh? This is the big issue where Superman holds a press conference and, after conferring with a few of his closest friends, he reveals the world that he and Clark Kent are one and the same and he’s going to be Superman from here on out.

Yes, we’re going back to this well again. DC because they figure if Superman does the outing rather than be outed by a third-party like the last time, this will turn out better… it didn’t. And also BENDIS because when it comes to costumed superheroes, the only card he has to play is the outing of the secret identity because he doesn’t believe in such things.

I’m struggling to read through this utter dreck and I find myself with an even bigger headache as I flip through page after page of some of the worst garbage imaginable. This whole thing comes off as a poorly thought out publicity stunt where we do the one thing and then move on to something else without rhyme or reason. One has to wonder if the fallout is going to invoke the same sort of consequence that begat Spider-Man or Daredevil when those IDs were revealed (and eventually retconned because they were fucking bad ideas.)

If this comes off as more of a crazed-driven rant than a review, then I offer a half-apology… but only because I thought I was reading something that was written by a competent writer and not some hack who got lucky with a bunch of Ultimate comics ages ago.

Oh well… at least the artwork is passable fare. Everyone looks like what they’re supposed to. It doesn’t look wretched. That’s fine.

In conclusion, Superman #18 by BENDIS is a piece of shit…

COMIC REVIEW: JJ Abrams and Son Presents Spider-Man #1

This comic book is terrible… there is no other way to say it.

Filmmaker and mystery box fetishist JJ Abrams and his son Henry were tasked with creating a Spider-Man comic book; a six-issue mini-series set in an alternate timeline where Peter Parker is no longer Spider-Man and a deadbeat dad with a son named Ben… Ben then turns to the Dark Side and joins the Knights Of Venom to become Kylo Venom… oh wait, I’m sorry. I got that mixed up.

So this book has a twist that involves a woman character and a refrigerator that sets up the current world this series is set in… hint: she’s the lady on the cover of this here comic book. This immediately pisses me off; not because of the tired woman in refrigerator gimmick that is a tired trope in and of itself, but it immediately gave me flashbacks of that one Spider-Man story where Spider-Man made a deal with the devil… only this time, the devil’s name is Abrams and he wears thick glasses.

And then we jump to the future; Peter is abroad, Ben is a dick kid, and then things change or whatever… this is the story of the kid taking up the mantle eventually and the mystery box that is the least interesting new villain in Caviar or Cadavaria or whatever his name is. The guy looks like something that even Rob Liedfeld would wince at. Think of the ground that covers.

If I can give Spider-Man #1 one sliver of credit, it’s that Sarah Pichelli’s artwork is rather gorgeous stuff. Honestly, she’s probably the only thing that makes this somewhat worthwhile, even with the somewhat muted color scheme that kills the splendor somewhat. It’s just too bad that it’s quality artwork attached to a wretchedly mediocre story.

I’ve no bone to pick with Abrams; I think he’s a perfectly fine filmmaker that gets a bit of a bad wrap at times for better or worse. With that having been said, this first chapter into the Abrams’ take on Spider-Man left a sour taste in my mouth and while I went into this with the best of intentions, it seems as though this is one mystery box that I would be perfectly content in leaving closed.

BOOK REVIEW – 100 Things WWE Fans Should Know And Do Before They Die (2019)

Bryan Alvarez – he of Figure Four Weekly, F4WOnline, Bryan & Vinny, and MINUS FIVE STARS fame – wrote another book. This time, he wrote one on his own, as opposed to sharing the spotlight with R.D. Reynolds and taking all the credit, as was the case with the previous literary endeavor, The Death Of WCW.

Just kidding, Bryan.

100 Things WWE Fans Should Know And Do Before They Die is essentially one of those list-type things, where you have 100 different topics of relative importance and each topic has a number of paragraphs dedicated to it. Some entries in the book have more space dedicated to it than others, while others have little more than short blurbs dedicated to it. In the case of the short blurbs, you sometimes wish there was more that could be expanded upon, but then again, some of these topics could very well be subjects for their own books in and of themselves.

The book opens with a forward from Lance Storm, who is something of a literary connoisseur in addition to be a former wrestler and trainer of future wrestlers. Once you somehow get past that without falling asleep, you get the rest of the book, which hits you with all the basic historical bits to bring a newcomer to the WWE bubble up to speed. And that’s pretty much the whole aim of the book; it’s essentially something that you can give to a newcomer to get them up to speed on what this whole thing is about. The topics aren’t delved into deeply – though some topics have more pages dedicated to them than others, which merely get a paragraph’s mention at most – but this is less a deep dive and more into a refresher of things.

There’s nothing in this book that longtime fans of the genre doesn’t already know before, but serves as a nice reference and Bryan’s wit is more or less on full display here. There’s even a couple entries written by other people who know more about certain bits than he does, which shows some level of humbleness that is normally lacking. The overall format of the book is convenient for those wanting a quick read; each entry typically has a page or two dedicated to them, so you can read an entry or two before calling it a day.

100 Things… does what it does well enough. It’s not the deepest look into the WWE inner workings nor does it try to be. It’s just a primer for newcomers to get themselves acquainted with the WWE universe and a little beyond that. If you’re looking for something more in-depth, you’re not going to get that here. But if you just want something that’s good for a quick read before dozing off, this gets the job done.

BOOK REVIEW – Hollywood Hulk Hogan (2002)

In 2002, Hollywood Hulk Hogan has returned to WWF for the first time in 1993. He got a big match with the Rock at Wrestlamnia X-8 that saw the Toronto crowd turn on the People’s Champ to cheer Hogan on like the returning hero – Hogan was a heel at the time. Long story short, the next night, Hogan was officially made into a babyface, slowly returned to his red and yellow colors (but still kept the Hollywood moniker, five-o-clock shadow, feather boas, and Voodoo Child entrance theme – which I’d argue is a better theme for Hogan than Real American), and eventually beat Triple for the Undisputed WWF Title where business tanked… but we don’t talk about that part.

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DVD Review – WWE RAW X: Tenth Anniversary Special (Jan. 2003)

On January 14, 2003, Monday Night RAW celebrated its tenth anniversary with an awards show ceremony that served more as a public masterbation of WWE’s public image than anything of merit. Eventually, they released the special, along with a handful of special features, onto DVD. I never got to watch the special live since it wasn’t part of the TSN package, but I was able to procure the DVD and so this is what I’m going to be looking at.

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