Category: RAW Bytes

The night after the Austin era is born…

Continue reading “RAW After Mania (March 30th, 1998) – Business Picks Up”

Well, it’s the night after Wrestlemania 13, featuring one of – if not THE – best Wrestlemania match in the history of the event… and also Undertaker beat Sid for the title.

1997 was the year that began the rebuilding process for the WWF, taking the promotion from a money-losing entity relying on cartoonish gimmicks to a multi-million dollar empire producing edgier content appealing the teenaged anti-establishment audience that dominated much of the 1990s. This was the first step in forging this new direction.

Continue reading “RAW After Mania (March 24th, 1997) – The Rebuilding Process”

The night after Wrestlemania 12, where the boyhood dream came true for Shawn Michaels as he defeated Bret “Hitman” Hart to win his first WWF World championship.

We begin the show with the debut of the deranged Mankind; a large, lumbering fellow in a brown leather mask and brown outfit, coming out to ominous spooky music, pulling off his own hair, and making short work of Bob Holly with his signature Mandible Claw nerve hold, upon which a soothing piano piece places in lieu of the earlier music. Yes, they took the former Cactus Jack from ECW and WCW and turned him into a deranged individual in a mask, but that didn’t stop some fans from chanting “He’s HARDCORE!” This was a simple yet striking introduction to a new face and I’d love to have been sitting in the crowd in 1996, gauging reactions to this person, wondering if they had any clue where he’d end up down the line.

Then we have another debut; the “Wildman” Marc Mero, formerly Johnny B. Badd of WCW fame, making short work of Isaac Yankem DDS despite interference from He Of The Three Hs. He Of The Three Hs and Wildman had an altercation because Hunter got squashed by Warrior at Mania and treated his valet like poop… and so the valet joined Wildman, stuck with him for a few years before posing for Playboy, leaving the WWF and eventually wrestling for good… and ended up marrying Brock Lesnar… so that was a thing.

The Bodydonnas beat Barry Horowitz and the guy with the jock strap on his head… and then we got a promo from HBK, where he refers to fans as his KLIQ… or something. That was lame even back in my VHS watching days. And then Undertaker beats some cowboy guy before getting destroyed by Mankind, kicking off that feud that would be on and off for several years.

This show was a thing mostly for the historical significance, but it’s a fun watch regardless, with only Shawn’s limp dick promo being the only sour spot.

Third time’s a charm, right?

Matches aren’t all that great, but it’s getting there. Hakushi (Japanese Guy With Ink On His Face) beat Bob “Sparky Plugg” Holly in a boring match with lots of rest holds, Lex Luger and the British Bulldog (the Allied Powers, if you will) defeated Well Dunn (some job team unrelated to Kevin, because they’re not bucky beavers) in a squash, Alundra Blayze beat Women’s Champion Bull Nakano to win the title in the only really good match on the show… only to be beat up by the debuting Bertha Faye a.k.a. Rhonda Singh, a hefty woman dressed up as a clown, and Mabel and Mo beating some other job team whose name I can’t be bothered to remember.

There’s a promo with WWF champion Diesel, who offers Shawn Michaels another shot at the title due to the ref’s spraining of the ankle and Sid being Sid costing ol’ HBK the match at Mania. This would be followed up on by Shawn Michaels cutting a promo accepting Diesel and telling Sid that his services as bodyguard are no longer required, only for Sid to lose his cool and beat up Shawn for a bit, prompting Nash to come out and make the save.

I’ll give the show this much; they planted the seeds for the next several months worth of storylines and turned HBK into a beloved figure (well, the girls loved him anyway) and also, in a way, supplanting Diesel as the people care about. It’s still not a great show, but it’s getting there. If nothing else, check it out for the promos and the Madusa/Nakano match.

Wrestlemania X has been lauded as one of the better Wrestlemanias ever produced, featuring a highly praised ladder match between Shawn Michaels and Razor Ramon, as well as Bret Hart bookending the show with a loss to his brother Owen in a fantastic match and eventually usurping the WWF Champion Yokozuna to reclaim the title that was stolen from him a year ago… everything in between those things is left to the imagination, but clearly, after a show with many milestones, how do you follow this show up?

With a shitty episode of RAW, of course!

Again, we’re still in the hour-long territory, but this also felt like a chore to sit through. The matches weren’t all that great… The Quebecers (the former Mountie and the current PCO) defeated the Bushwhackers in a boring match, Tatanka (BUFFALO!) squashes some job guy, Diesel also squashes some job guy in a match joined in progress, and Jeff Jarrett beat Koko B. Ware… not quite inspiring stuff.

Only thing noteworthy on this show is Bret Hart’s first interview as WWF Champion, where he talks about the night starting off poorly and ended great before addressing his loss to Owen. Other than that… eh, this wasn’t very good.

So this is a thing we’re doing for the foreseeable future… watching every RAW after Wrestlemania. I’d imagine I get a couple months of mileage before I get bored… and no, the fact that we’re doing this on 4/20 is not a coincidence. I probably took something to have thought up this idea… and I’d imagine it is going to be largely painful.

Funny thing about this RAW; whereas nowadays, these are usually treated as a big deal, the first RAW after Wrestlemania IX was a taped show from the previous taping cycle, so you don’t get the ramifications of the previous show until a couple episodes later. As such, other than passing mentions of the encore presentation of Wrestlemania, don’t expect much out of this show other than a couple quick matches here and there. In fact, the only recurring angle is the teasing of Jerry Lawler’s first WWF match, who comes out every so often, but then leaves after being overwhelmed by Burger King chants… because even back in 1993, the storylines (and the chants) weren’t much to be lauded over.

It’s an hour long show, but somehow feels longer because the matches are short, quick, and generally bad. Bam Bam Bigelow beats Virgil, Bob Backlund beats Kamala’s manager, Damien “Don’t Call Him A Jobber” Demento beats Jim Brunzell and nobody cares, the Steiners beat the Beverlies, and yes, Jerry Lawler beats some mulleted fellow in the main event.

So not a great show to follow up Mania… which is fine because Mania IX was not a great show to begin with. We’re still very early in this RAW show (it’s only a couple months old at this point) and they still haven’t worked out the kinks yet. Maybe next year’s follow-up to Mania will be better.

So I broke my WWE moratorium by watching this three-hour RAW from an empty Performance Center… which will end up being the new site of Wrestlemania 36.

You know… I’m not surprised in the slightest that this is what they would do. Really, they could either try and run an empty stadium, they could postpone the show to the summer, or they could outright cancel. Now, honestly, if I were in that position, I would have held the show off, but certainly, one has to consider the logistics of such a move. As such, I don’t know whether I should applaud WWE for this decision or condemn them… but I will say this much; all of a sudden, Wrestlemania had piqued my curiosity. Not for anything on the card, but for the annual tradition that has taken place in packed stadiums with tens of thousands of fans cheering loudly to emanate from an empty Performance Center with no fans. It’ll certainly be unique, if nothing else.

And that brings me to RAW… a show that featured mostly talking segments as well as a replay of this year’s men’s Rumble match, which was greatly appreciated because I needed to see the whole match. (And I might get around to watching it when I get some downtime in a couple days.) From what they showed (due to commercial breaks), looks to be a pretty fun 1st half with Brock tossing dudes before Drew comes along and knocks him out of the match.

Aside from that, there’s only one match on the show, which saw Rey Mysterio beat Andrade in a short match while Asuka rambled on commentary. The rest of the show is a bunch of talking bits. Edge cuts a promo on Randy Orton and challenges him to a Last Man Standing match, Becky Lynch cuts a promo on Shayna Baszler to further that feud, AJ Styles and Undertaker (with doorag) has a contract signing that ends badly, and Steve Austin cutting an empty arena promo for the first time since his Sportatorium days.

This is a very weird show. Mostly promos, one short match, and the rest of the show was bloated with a replay of a Rumble match that took up the majority of the show… I missed out on Smackdown, but I heard that was a fun show with HHH and Cole doing commentary and making a mockery of the whole thing. I regret missing Smackdown, because then I wouldn’t have had to watch RAW, which was largely boring.

Yes, they did the best they could given the circumstances, but RAW hasn’t been a good show before the world went to shit and if this is what we have to look forward to for the foreseeable future, then maybe I should stick with Smackdown… or AEW, which is also doing empty arena shows… because, sure, why not?

This is less about the show and more about the tail end of the show, which featured one of the most comical and ridiculous things that I have ever seen (to date) in a wrestling ring. In fact, this could very well be the thing that turns me off to the upcoming PPV event, which I was actually looking forward to because it looked to be a good card.

I didn’t see the whole show, but I have heard some good things about it… which is nice because they need to get into the habit of making good shows again, what with the FOX debut happening next week. However, when I watched the Seth Rollins vs. Braun Strowman match (a re-match from a PPV that saw Rollins beat Braun clean, apparently), something happened.

So, at some point, the lights go out and when they come back up, Bray Wyatt in a mask shows up and puts the Mandible Claw on Strowman, which would’ve been a nice way to put over the Fiend as a threat except Strowman has been such a loser on a grand scale on so many occasions that it loses all meaning. Somebody must’ve thought the next thing, because when Wyatt approaches Seth, he’s cowering, he’s screaming, he’s acting like a potential kill victim for a slasher film, and he’s saved by the loser Strowman, who eats another Claw.

Oh yeah, this is going to put butts in seats for sure.

So, this Seth Rollins guy who is supposed to be a champion for everyone… it seems like every time I follow the WWE happenings in some form or fashion, they find a way to try and make this guy seem like even more of a geek than he’s been. And it’s not just him; it’s something of a common ailment in modern wrestling where you go to a show, you see a championship match, and the champion is just some geek who doesn’t seem imposing or anything. I’ve been getting that vibe from Rollins almost every time I see him.

He beats Brock with a low blow in quick fashion, then he gets stuck with Baron Corbin matches that suck and he bitches about it on Twitter to further cement his geek status. And then his relationship with Becky Lynch comes out and he’s the Man’s Man or whatever the fuck that means. Then he has another match with Brock with the world’s shittiest build. And then the sun falls and Rollins’ skin starts to sparkle like a Twilight character. And he shits on his former best friend who left the company due to shitty creative and had some of the best matches in his career before MRSA came a callin.

What does this ending tell me? That your reigning top champion and holder of a toy red belt posed to be the 2nd top babyface in the company (3rd if you want to include Becky Lynch in the mix, though I’m not quite sure about her, either) is scared of a guy in a rubber mask. And I’m supposed to be looking forward to their HiaC match in two weeks?

I know people are going to compare this to Undertaker… but Undertaker wasn’t Mean Mark in WWF or anything like that; he was the fucking Undertaker from day one. We’ve already seen Bray Wyatt in the past, with his holograms, exploding TVs, worms projected into the ring, exploding cabins, and whatnots. We’ve seen this sort of shit from Bray before and it’s always came across as hokey stuff. But Bray’s in a mask and everything is supposed to be different… it’s more akin to Finn Balor and the Demon. When Finn Balor comes out as the Demon, he’s got a cool entrance, he’s got some nice body paint, and I like the overall production… but when you really think about it, it’s just Finn Balor in paint.

I don’t know… maybe the match will be good or something… but this ending? Did nothing for me but cement Rollins’ status as the world’s biggest geek not named Mike Kanellis or Kevin Owens or whoever else comes to mind… actually, there are a lot of geeks in WWE.

That makes me sad.

So in lieu of a video review (I’m saving that for Thursday because it’s a very special game for a very special day) and because I had nothing better to do on a rare night off, I’ve watched last night’s RAW off the DVR… I honestly don’t know why I did this… but there you go. Now I didn’t watch the whole show because I’m not that hopeless, but I did catch some of the major points of the show… and well, Paul Heyman’s RAW is no better than what I’ve sat through before, though to be fair, it wasn’t all bad.

Continue reading “RAW (Aug. 5th, 2019) – Haven’t I Already Seen This Shit Before?”

Yes, your eyes do not deceive you. I did watch RAW this past Monday night… well, some of it, anyway.

Also, yes, your eyes do not deceive you. I’m doing another one of these today… because I accidentally deleted the old one. My bad. Fortunately, this is a much better write-up with a bit more inflections.

Continue reading “RAW (July 1st, 2019) – Stayed For Hour 1… Dropped Off At Hour 2… Take 2”