Category: WWE PPV Musings

So I’m watching this with something of a stomach ache and a sore throat. So I imagine that I’m in for a long night… but, in a bit of good news, Brock Lesnar vs. Undertaker has been announced for next month’s Hell In A Cell PPV event, so there goes my fear of having this become another Wrestlemania match that doesn’t need to happen. Have it at a B-level PPV, put them in a Cell, book it as their final battle, and let ’em beat the shit out of each other to the point where I never have to see either one of them again. If even ONE of them walks out on their own power, this match will suck.

God, I’m somewhat bloodthirsty… In any event, let’s get this over with.

Kevin Owens defeated Intercontinental champion Ryback with a down-and-dirty raking of the eyes and a roll-up to win the title. Well, that finish should make Jim Ross happy that a heel got to win with dirty tactics. Nice touch adding the shoulder injury in there and making it seem like a key part of the match. All in all, this was a fun opening content and I’m happy to see my fellow Quebecois win a major title in WWE. So far, we’re off to a great start.

Dolph Ziggler defeated Rusev when Summer Rae (who seems destined to be the eternal “sloppy seconds” Diva in WWE) threw a fit and ended up throwing a shoe at Rusev, which allowed Ziggler to score a ZigZag and the pin… don’t worry, Ru. Hulk Hogan once jobbed to a shoe… wait, he don’t exist no more, doesn’t it? I suppose this wasn’t too bad, but it felt like it went on forever and I lost interest after a while. Please let this be the end of it. Bad enough we needed to endure bad acting from Lana before she got hurt, but the last thing we need is more bad acting from… everybody.

The Dudley Boyz defeated WWE Tag-Team Champions The New Day via DQ when Xavier Woods jumped in. New Day retain the titles as a result. My guess is they’re probably going to have a rematch somewhere down the line… maybe next PPV or something. As long as the rematch turns out to be as good as this match was, I’ve no complaints… also, major props to Xavier Wood’s trombone playing. He should stick with that from now on.

Oh boy, they’re talking about the #LOLDivasRevolution… I guess it’s time for a pissbreak, right? I mean, for fuck’s sake, they’re really treating this like a thing people give a shit about, aren’t they? I suppose if they really cared, the four Divas that really mattered would be n the upcoming video game… oops.

So Charlotte defeats Divas champion Nikki Bella to win the title and end the wretchedly bloated reign of the world’s most undeserving plastic-boobed bimbo… as if it means anything at this point. I mean, seriously… what’s the point? Charlotte had her chance on Monday and blew it. A few days after Nikki got the record reign (a move that I firmly believe was to spite the former record holder’s husband), Charlotte finally gets the big win and I’m like… so what? I guess from what little I paid attention to of the match, it was alright… might’ve been one of the better Divas matches in a while… I’d like to believe that… if I cared enough… but I didn’t care, so I can’t believe that.

So I guess we can count down the days before Eva Marie shows up and wins the title in a couple months or so… because it’s not about diva revolutions or some corporate bullshit buzzwords like that. It’s all about teh Total Divas… and as long as THAT show exists, a “revolution” in the truest sense of the word is never going to happen

Oh well… back to not caring about the Divas division unless it’s on NXT.

Oh look, Ric Flair’s in the house… I wonder if he’s gonna turn on Sting… because god forbid we haven’t seen that in a while. (Spoiler Alert: He doesn’t… not that it would’ve mattered.)

The Wyatt Family defeated Roman Reigns, Dean Ambrose, and mystery partner Chris Jericho, whose sole purpose was to job to the new guy whose name I don’t remember… can’t complain, actually. If it were a new guy, I probably would… but Jericho has been used mostly to “put over” others that this doesn’t bother me. For what this was, it was alright. Nothing special, but alright.

John Cena defeated U.S. Champion Seth Rollins to win the title for the fifth time. Well, that was disappointing. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised (and I wasn’t) but it would’ve been interesting to see Seth win here… setting that aside, those guys put on a great showing on par or better than their Summerslam match. Whether you approve the ending or not, at least the match went way above and beyond what you’d expect.

WWE Champion Seth Rollins defeated Sting to retain the title… Hey, look… all things considered, I expected a hell of a lot worse and this was actually alright. There was a moment where doctors were looking at Sting and they were gonna have to do some shit ending, but Seth won with a roll-up and there’s nothing wrong with that. (Update: Turns out Sting might have suffered a legit injury during that corner bomb bit.)

All in all, not that bad of a match, and Sting actually looked good out there and looked like he gave a damn. Didn’t surprise me that Sting didn’t go over here, but I actually wouldn’t have minded it… shocking. Amazing that Sting could have a decent match with Seth, but with McSon-In-Law… well… I could blame McSon-In-Law for that fail of a match.

Wait a minute… here comes Sheamus… wait a minute… here comes Kane… wait a minute… Kane chokeslammin’ Seth… wait a minute… Kane tombstonin’ Seth… wait a minute… it’s gonna be Seth vs. Kane, isn’t it?

Where’s that image? Oh, here it is…

You know what, though? I have little cause to complain about this show. Couple title changes, handful of good matches, a couple returns, near cash-in, and a showcase of what Seth Rollins could do if given the chance and he brought the house down… All in all, this was a far better show than it had any business being and I enjoyed it. So there.

I purposely held off this one until the very end of the run. And there’s a very good flipping reason for that. It’s Summerslam from 1995.

*shudder*

If you’ve been following the blog over the course of this month, you’ll probably notice that when it comes to the various ’95 events that I’ve mused over, my reactions have been rather negative. Perhaps I’m being too kind. 1995 was a shit year for wrestling; whether it’s the Hulk Hogan wankfest at WCW or… whatever the fuck they were doing in WWF… Look, kids. There’s a reason ECW got hot during that time and it wasn’t because it was the best looking product out there.

So, here we are… Summerslam 1995. Your main event for the evening is WWF World Champion Diesel defending his championship against 1995 King of the Ring winner, Mabel.

Fuck me. This is going to be painful.

Continue reading “WWF Summerslam 1995”

It starts with Wrestlemania IX… where Bret Hart lost the WWF title to Yokozuna… who would then lose the WWF title to Hulk Hogan in an impromptu match… who would then do fuck all with the title before dropping it back to Yokozuna at the King of The Ring PPV, which would signal the final appearance of Hogan in the WWF for eight years. Yokozuna would then hold an open challenge on the U.S.S. Intrepid, where many have tried (and failed) to bodyslam the 500-pound behemoth. Then, when all was said and done, along came Lex Luger to fulfill the deed, earning himself a shot (his “only shot” according to Jim Cornette) at the champ at Summerslam. What followed was a cross-country tour, kissing babies and getting support from the paid extras posing as locals.

And then, we come to the match itself and… well, that’s jumping ahead here.

Continue reading “WWF Summerslam 1993”

It was supposed to be a PPV that would feature WWF Superstars competing against WCW Superstars for the very first time. A cataclysmic encounter that would have been a major moneymaker if done right.

But as history has shown, the Invasion angle that ran throughout 2001 was anything but done right. For you see, it went from being about WWF vs. WCW to being another glorified reinactment of the McMahon family feud that had been beaten to the ground considerably. Vince representing WWF, Shane-O-Mac owning WCW, and because she has nothing to do at the time, let’s give Stephanie ECW and have her join forces with Shane for whatever reason and then you had Austin jump ship to that Alliance and… my head hurts.

There have been potshots made prior to the event; the occasional run-in from low-tier WCW guys such as Lance Storm and Mike Awesome to Diamond Dallas Page’s stalking of the Undertaker’s wife (for reasons that are baffling to anyone with any semblance of common sense) to the eventual WCW matches on WWF programming (kicked off with a horrific Booker T vs. Buff Bagwell match that granted Buff his walking papers shortly thereafter)… and then ECW comes along and joins forces with WCW and… shit.

And then we come to Invasion… I can remember the anticipation of how they’re going to pull this off and thinking it might be the greatest thing ever, how could they possibly fuck this up… and then I can also remember the disappointment and utter contempt that I had for this entire feud. Even today, when I look back at that entire angle, it still leaves a really bitter taste in my mouth. There are very few wrestling storylines that really make me sick to my stomach. Many letdowns, but none of them to a sickening level. The Invasion angle was the sole exception. Perhaps the easiest thing to book and they end up fucking it up. If there is one thing that the whole Invasion angle does succeed at, it’s cementing WWE’s long-standing talent in taking sure-fire wins and turn them into unbelievable failures.

But I digress… anyway, let’s sloth through this thing.

Continue reading “WWF Invasion (July 2001)”

WWF In Your House II
July 1995, Nashville TN

So this is the second 2-hour In Your House event for July, which followed the rather horrific 1995 King Of The Ring, which ranks as one of the worst WWF/WWE PPV events, if not one of the worst pro wrestling PPV cards ever conceived. And after having witnessed that PPV in its entirety, it’s safe to say that I’m rather apprehensive of this card. After all, historically speaking, WWF in 1995 was not particularly good, as Diesel was tanking as WWF Champion, there was a notable lack of compelling content on display, and to call the roster cartoonish and hokey is akin to calling Big Show a big guy.

On the flip side, WCW was giving us the Hulk Hogan show… that was equally painful… considering I hadn’t been following wrestling, I certainly dodged that bullet… and yet here we are.

Meh…

Continue reading “WWF In Your House II (July 1995)”

WWF In Your House I
May 1995, Syracuse, NY

In a vain effort to attempt to separate a potential PPV audience from their money, the WWF decided to launch In Your House, a series of monthly 2-hour PPVS that would beef up the PPV count to one a month. This would eventually evolve into the current format of monthly PPV events with the occasional WWE Network special and lots of raised prices.

Continue reading “The First WWF In Your House PPV (May 1995)”

Spoiler Alert: NXT Takeover Brooklyn blows this show out of the water.

Show cold-opens with host Jon Stewart cutting a bland promo… I guess. Mick Foley shows up for some reason to tell us about how scared he is of Brock Lesnar… come on, Mick. You fell off cages, took five billion chair shots to the head, participated in King Of the Deathmatch tournaments, got lost in Cleveland, lost an ear, wrestled the Mean Street Posse, and survived a couple years in TNA.

Now if a guy like that is scared of Brock Lesnar, you know what that tells me? It tells me that AL SNOW is more of a hardcore legend than Mick Foley.

*drops mic*

Continue reading “WWE Summerslam 2015”

There is indeed a king reigning in this ring. His name? Vince Russo.

In all honesty, this is where we get to the point in which a lot of the Attitude Era stuff becomes hard to sit through nowadays. It’s that feeling I get where I would watch something I hadn’t seen in ages for the first time in a long while, recalling how much I enjoyed that thing the first time, and then after watching it, I often wondered how I got into that stuff. This is one of those instances. Anyway, here we go…

Oh, lookie. We’ve got quarterfinal matches… hurray. Anyway, given that these things are usually short, I’ll keep my thoughts short and sweet.

X-Pac beat Hardcore Holly. This match was too short to be worth anything.

Kane beat Big Show with a number of chair shots following a choke hold that took more air out of the audience than it did Big Show. For fuck’s sake, why did that choke hold need to last fifty years? The sad part is that if that spot happened today, #ChokeHoldCityBitch would be trending on Twitter because that’s how sad things have gotten.

Billy Gunn beat Ken Shamrock via blood stoppage when Shamrock started “bleeding” from the mouth due to some unspecified injury that is never elaborated on. The blood looks so phoney and fake it’s sad. I could come up with “more real blood” (sic) on Microsoft Paint.

Roadd Dogg beat Chyna thanks to a metal cup. See, Chyna generally likes to go for ball shots and this has taken many of males down, but Road Dogg shows off some intelligence by actually wearing a cup. If only others had shown as much foresight…

So it’s Kane vs. Billy Gunn and X-Pac vs. Road Dogg for the semi-finals. Smart money would suggest that this would lead to a tournament finals between two former partners dueling it out… but then again, this is Vince Russo we’re talking about here.

The Hardy Boyz beat Edge & Christian to earn themselves a tag-team title shot against then-champions the Acolytes (or A.P.A. as they would be known later on). Quick match, but you can already tell these guys had something. And that would be expanded upon in their later feuds over the years.

Alright, time for the semi-finals. Looking forward to this… not.

Continue reading “WWF King Of The Ring 1999”

King Of The Ring 1998 is known for exactly one thing; Hell In A Cell.

The other notable thing on King Of The Ring 1998 that occasionally gets mentioned; the First Blood match between Stone Cold Steve Austin and Kane for the WWF Championship.

The focus of the opening video package; the two aforementioned matches.

The King Of The Ring tournament that just so happens to be the reason for this PPV’s existence; treated as an afterthought… and for good reason.

Continue reading “WWF King Of The Ring 1998”

So this was a show that happened one night in June… and in all honesty, not a whole lot to say about this one. I probably rented the tape once or twice, but that’s about it. Therefore, this is going to be fairly brief, with one or two matches of note at most.

Continue reading “WWF King Of The Ring 1997”