VIDEO – Does This Woman Eat The Skulls Of Children To Survive?

The question is in reference to an old Rangerboard meme regarding Tracy Lynn Cruz (she who played the Yellow Chick in latter-half Turbo and entire In Space) and her seemingly ageless appearances in which she needs to feed off skulls of children in order to maintain such youthfulness. Tracy didn’t answer the question because it sounds stupid… but then again, who could blame her? It’s such a stupid question to begin with…

Then again, you knew it had to happen sooner or later… just like this one time when someone asked Austin St. John about his alleged gay porno career that he never had so shut the fuck up, son. Jason will fuck you up, motherfucker. You hear me?

JASON WILL FUCK YOU UP, SON.

Vintage Cinemassacre Film From 1993 is BETTER than 2009-2011 AVGN.

http://cinemassacre.com/2011/11/28/the-green-monster-that-walked-into-my-house-1993/

From 1993, watch a very young James Rolfe fight against a toy monster. Much more entertaining and better produced than the last couple years worth of AVGN episodes… Yes, I truly believe that.

Hey, look! An ACTUAL review of CRAZY CASTLE!

From TJ at CGR Undertow, this four minute review of Bugs Bunny Crazy Castle shows off the gameplay, dwells into its interesting origins. There’s more said about the game in this short video than in that entire eighteen minute epileptic aneurysm of a video that AVGN put out a couple years ago. I know the Undertow guys often get somewhat of a bad rap (I honestly don’t care for Derek… sorry, man), but sometimes they put out good stuff.

I’m presently uploaded Part 5 of the Simon’s Quest run.

Jeff Hardy Returns… Before Going To Jail

Didn’t have a chance to watch Impact last night, but they did have a video online featuring Jeff Hardy’s apology and his asking the fans for one last chance. The best thing I could say about this segment was that it took place during a taping in Huntsville and not the Impact Zone, where the audience is often accused of being mindless sheep… something that seems hard to dispute, but I don’t want to get into that. But that argument cannot and does not apply to the Huntsville audience, who actually paid money to watch the show live, which means that the favorable crowd reaction to Hardy’s plea is about as genuine as you can get (at a TNA show, at least) and they seem willing to give the former World champion one more shot… complete with seemingly piped-in chants of “one more shot.” I’m not sure what kind of shot he’s asking for, but… no, not going to go there. It’s been done before, I’m sure.

The funny thing about this speech is that this came about shortly after the news broke that Jeff Hardy had pleaded guilty to a number of charges stemming from his 2009 arrest and would serve ten days in jail. Oops.

Okay, so here’s the deal. I have always been somewhat opposed to TNA taking in Jeff Hardy last year despite his legal baggage being fairly public knowledge. It seems that at any given moment, Jeff Hardy would have to serve some time (and admittedly, what he ended up getting is akin to a slap on the wrist considering the charges) and TNA would have a huge hole in the roster. Despite the knowledge of Hardy’s troubles, TNA went ahead and gave the man two World title reigns. And while I believed that giving a man with ongoing legal issues the World title was a bad idea – and I still do, don’t get me wrong – I will admit that he deserved to carry the belt, if only for a short while. For various concerns regarding his reliability, he was actually contributing to the company in a positive manner and not letting the legal issues and lifestyle he lives get in the way of his job, which is something that has befallen other wrestlers – certainly his brother falls into that category.

Then came the Victory Road 2011 debacle, of which I had made a vlog around the same time. It wasn’t until some time later that the details behind the 88-second squash match revealed that the match happened as it did due to Jeff Hardy’s inability to perform, upon which I wrote a follow-up blog entry.

I had really hoped (though sincerely doubted) that TNA would actually step up and make serious changes to prevent such incidents from happening in the future, but unfortunately, there hasn’t been any indication of such change. In fact, outside of a largely aesthetic change and a new tagline, TNA… or rather, Impact Wrestling, as they call themselves now, has made no such change. While Matt Hardy was subsequently terminated from TNA following a DUI arrest, the reigning TNA World Champion Kurt Angle – who also suffered a DUI arrest – looks to walk away unpunished. But that’s an entirely different story that is probably best left for those more experienced in those waters than I.

So now Jeff Hardy is returning to TNA and is asking for one more chance following a brief stay in jail, of course. And now that the legal baggage has been moreorless excised and the sins of Victory Road mostly atoned for with a lengthy absence, I am cautiously optimistic to see whether Jeff Hardy’s latest TNA run will be smooth-sailing or a Titanic voyage; whether he has gotten his act together or just gotten better at faking it. Regardless of my initial feelings towards his signing, I can hope that Hardy gets his personal and professional affairs back on track so that his legion of fans will continue to enjoy his works and so that we don’t get stuck with another tragedy the likes of Scott Hall.

Best of luck, Jeff. And don’t drop the ball this time.

What’s this? An AVGN Sketch That’s Actually GOOD???

Primarily focused on the Nintendo World Championship 1990, considered the “Holy Grail” of video games and featuring that NES Punk fellow, Pat. Although it is not the simple back-to-basics episode that was promised, this wasn’t the overblown, overbloated creative abortion like prior AVGN sketch episodes were. It didn’t use crummy special effects, the terrible acting was tolerable, and the narrative wasn’t outlandish. Probably the best AVGN sketch episodes I’ve seen.

(2024 Update: Too much hyper hyperbole? Anyway, replaced the old GameTrailers link with the actual video so you can see for yourself.)