Category: Wrestling Musings

All posts related to pro rasslin’ that isn’t covering specific shows or events.

Kurt Angle Signs With TNA – Why Do You Look Surprised?

Anyone who has been to a wrestling website or has seen the recent TNA PPV knows what I’m talking about: former Olympian and former WWE champion Kurt Angle has signed with TNA wrestling. When people last saw Angle, he was fired by WWE so that he can heal. Roughly a few weeks later, he signs with the distant competition.

It’s not a big surprise. From the instant Kurt got canned, almost everyone was calling it. Some people saw through the transparent desires of doing MMA bouts and said he would show up on TNA.

So yeah, I can say I saw it coming… but not this soon.

I wonder what Vince is thinking now…

More on this later tonight…

Saturday Night's Main Event Dead Last In The Ratings!

According to insidepulse.com, WWE’s latest edition of Saturday Night’s Main Event was dead last in the national TV ratings, earning a 2.65.

When approached about the news, the Orange Goblin had to say: “Well, you know somethin’, brutha? It shows that John Cena isn’t ready for the main event, dude! The main event should have been me wrestling Edge for the title and winning it again for the umpteenth time, jack! And the rest of the card would have been replays of my daughter’s cool video for the whole night, brutha! So whachagonnado, brutha?!”

Note that the above quote isn’t true. For the original story, click here.

Not Like The Rest Of Us… Also Weed

Browsing through WWE.com, I couldn’t help but comment on a small bit written by Jim Ross in his recent Superstar-Of-The-Week column:

Randy Orton had a fine Vengeance and RAW, but his leering at Hulk’s daughter disqualified young, master Orton. Will Orton never learn? Doesn’t Randall watch VH 1’s Hogan Knows Best like the rest of us?

Now I don’t know about you, but last time I checked, the rest of us that I know of weren’t watching Hulk Hogan’s TV show. Which probably means that by not doing so, my respect for Randy Orton has gone up. Mind you, that isn’t saying much.

Also, RVD got caught for carrying weed, eh? Can’t say I’m surprised. So now as a result of their Wellness Policy, WWE has made it so RVD loses both his shiny belts; one of Mr. Copeland and the other to Mr. Show. On top of that, he gets suspended for thirty days. Oh yeah, Sabu was also busted too.

Could the lack of these two marquee performers do in ECW for good? Not really. After all, Vince is in control now so chances are he’ll screw up something with or without them along the way. Never did the phrase “going up in smoke” seem more appropriate than it does now.

I’ll have more thoughts in the upcoming Bite commentary, which should be up sometime next week.

New Screwy Day

From insidepulse.com:

Survivor Series 2007 will take place in Montreal, marking the 10-year anniversary of the Bret Hart Screwjob, according to WrestlingObserver.com.

Frequent DTM Blog readers might recall a certain blog post from last week which went something like this:

Another point that has been brought to my attention: Today in wrestling history; ten years ago, Shawn Michaels beat Bret Hart in a 60-minute Iron Man match for his first WWF World Title. I’m bringing this up because a lot of other wrestling sites are doing it, but if you’re reading this post, do me a favor and don’t complain to WWE for driving the Montreal screwjob to the ground. And don’t tell them to move on, because you know they’ll milk it for all it’s worth when THAT tenth anniversary comes around.

Coincidence, folks? Hardly.

Why would Vince McMahon or anyone in WWE ignore quite possibly the most infamous event in wrestling history as much as everyone else tries hard to do so? While I never suggested they hold the show in my neighborhood, it doesn’t mean the thought hadn’t crossed my mind… I never really believed that they actually do it, but shows you how much I know. Then again, this isn’t the official word, so take this information with a grain of salt. Furthermore, I shouldn’t be bringing you wrestling news on a blog of all places.

Later.




EXCLUSIVE: Wrestlemania 22 CANCELLED!

According to an anonymous source, WWE has cancelled Wrestlemania despite sold-out tickets and massive buyrates. To add more insult to injury, no refunds are offered. When inquired about why the 22nd iteration was canned at the last minute, wrestling czar Vince McMahon replied with, “YOU’RE FIRED!”

Further reports indicate a hitman was sighted in Chicago. He had already taken down former WWE official Tim White with a sharpshooter and is currently on the run. Sources say it might have been Bret Hart, who had been gunning for Shawn Michaels. Apparently, he read my post.

And if you believe all that, I have farmland in the Dagobah system. Sell ya cheap.

April Fools, would-be WWE.com viewers.

Ten Years Ago… The Fix Was In

Another point that has been brought to my attention: Today in wrestling history; ten years ago, Shawn Michaels beat Bret Hart in a 60-minute Iron Man match for his first WWF World Title. I’m bringing this up because a lot of other wrestling sites are doing it, but if you’re reading this post, do me a favor and don’t complain to WWE for driving the Montreal screwjob to the ground. And don’t tell them to move on, because you know they’ll milk it for all it’s worth when THAT tenth anniversary comes around.

I’ll see you in eighteen months.

Quick Thoughts On The Recent Saturday Night’s Main Event Revival

According to RAJAH.COM, SNME did a 3.4 national fast rating, thus indicating that showing wrestling on a major network did nothing to increase interest in the product… well, it would have helped if the show was actually, you know, any good. Unless NBC is in a happy mood, don’t expect another episode of SNME to air anytime soon.

I mean, come on guys. Just because your currently crappy shows are getting “huge” ratings on lowly networks like USA or UPN doesn’t mean they’ll fly on a major network like NBC… Of course, you can always blame it on the NCAA tourneys, but you can just as easily blame it on the crappy weather.

This doesn’t bode well, but if they get another shot, maybe they’ll do a better job… or not.

So yeah, for anyone who cares, NBC is airing the return of Saturday Night’s Main Event, the old WWF show of the 80s and early 90s that has become a token WWE TV special. As much as I enjoy the prospect of catching a WWE show, I felt not much has been done to give people a reason to care about this show other than the fact that it hasn’t been on the air for thirteen years.

So for the sake of clarity, there’s only three matches that I’m covering here. I ain’t going to do the beer-drinking contest because that’s an Austin thing that always goes the same way… and let’s forget the women’s match, which had a hot angle going before it dragged and became usual WWE diva fluff that I really don’t care for anymore. So let’s begin this thing – raw and unformatted:

Booker T versus The Boogeyman
Hmm… on second thought, make that two matches to commment on, because we all know Booker is going to lose this one.

WINNER: Nobody. The match never happened.

Shawn Michaels vs. Shane McMahon – STREET FIGHT!
So Shane McMahon gets his bumpfest match this year. Let’s not kid ourselves – if it wasn’t for the fact that he’s the boss’ kid, Shane-o-Mac would have been a top contender for the World title. Not a seasoned wrestler, but he’s sort of like Mick Foley-lite, but with more teeth. But because he’s the boss’ kid, he gets to fight and bump endlessly before losing the match to HBK – just so he could contribute to Shawn’s feud against Vince… who has to get in yet ANOTHER Wrestlemania match.

WINNER: Nobody. We got a re-enactment of Survivor Series 97; HBK as Bret Hart, Shane McMahon as HBK, and Vince as himself. Time-honored tradition my ass.

John “Boring” Cena and Triple “Vince Jr. Jr.” H vs. Kurt “You Suck” Angle, Rey “Eddie-lite” Misterio, and Randy “Resthold” Orton
Actually… ah crap. I’ve got nothing today, guys. Sorry. Let’s go with Boring and Vince Jr. jr. and call it a day, alright?

WINNER: Boring and Vince Jr. Jr. Hey, somebody had to win a match on this lousy show.

Man, they should have kept this show buried.

Later.

WARRIOR. GOLDBERG. TEE EHN EH.

Apparently some people have had problems getting access to the Blog. Truthfully speaking, so have I. I don’t know what the problem is, but the fact that I’m posting and you’re reading means that whatever was wrong has been resolved.

Since I AM here for the moment, I’ve decided to comment on a few things of random nature.

As much as I don’t want to include any references to that so-called self-destructive former wrestler and current motivational speaker whom everyone hates, I can’t help but comment on Warrior’s recent post, where he entertains the idea of TNA signing both himself and Goldberg to let them beat the crap out of each other, thereby creating tons of heat and money.

Not to sound pessimistic (or realistic, whichever you choose), but the last high-profile Warrior match (Halloween Havoc 1998 vs. Hollywood Hogan) was really, really bad… so bad that I almost swore off watching WCW PPVs. Also, the last high-profile Goldberg match (Wrestlemania 20 vs. Brock Lesnar) was filled with audience hatred and malice towards both guys… although it was probably due to the fact that both guys were leaving and that the audience were New Yorkers and would boo a poodle if they had the chance.

Having said all that, I would entertain the idea of a match-up between these two on a TNA PPV. It’ll probably make the usual 0.9 buyrate that most PPVs from the company makes. Intensity and charisma aside, these guys are older and in Warrior’s case, hasn’t been an active wrestler in years. If the match ends up being something watchable (as in extremely short, where both guys work best), it would be a modern-day miracle at best.

Strange purchase story: I’ve picked up a used copy of Capcom vs. SNK 2 for my X-Box. For some reason, though, the game came with the instruction manual for the GAMECUBE version. Go figure.

Gotta go. Later.

Eddie-Sploitation: Because Necrophilia Just Wasn’t Low Enough

Yeah, it’s been a week but last week’s headache was painful and took a while to go away. Now I’m back to my regularly depressive self instead of sick. Probably just as well, because I probably would have written something a little more intense than what’s here.

So I’ve been watching last week’s WWE Smackdown episode (which I regularly tape for my cousin, who doesn’t have The Score or UPN networks) and once again bore witness to yet another mindfuck of stupidity from the WWE braintrust… something about Eddie being in hell or something. Now I don’t know about you, but I sort of expected this kind of behavior… not like I’m some kind of expert or anything. No doubt people watching the incident are appalled that they would stoop to such a low level.

You know what? I’m not upset… I’m not upset that they went that direction because I would have been surprised if they hadn’t dragged Eddie’s name to the mud further than they already have. So no, this doesn’t particularly upset me. What does upset me is the knowledge that all of these tasteless gimmicks and creative brainfarts are doing nothing but cheapening a very real, very tragic death of a man well-respected and well-liked by many of his peers and fans. It’s one thing to exploit a death of a fictional character and call it entertainment. It’s another to exploit the death of a real person and drag his name into the mud for the purpose of getting the big rating.

Randy Orton is currently a generic heel whose value has been crippled thanks to one-sided feuds with Triple H and Undertaker over the past couple years. It’s almost a shame that, to make him more hated, he’d have to resort to defaming Eddie. That sort of shows how great a heel he is… as in not great at all. It all shows a quick effortless shortcut to getting cheap heat. Given a good storyline and good matches that play on his strengths, Randy may very well build a legacy of his own and be one of the greats. As of now, he’s just a guy who’s getting cheap heat bashing a respected wrestler who passed on for real.

Just to steer aside for a moment… Another thing that seems to be raising havoc are the Tim White skits featured on WWE.com. For those who haven’t witnessed these yet, these are short, five-minute clips featuring former referee Tim White attempting to commit suicide and failing. The clips are supposed to be funny, but in reality they’re too stupid to be funny… try asking someone who has had loved ones commit suicide if those skits are funny. These morbid exercises in line-hopping and dumb skits are part of the reason why I don’t watch as much modern-day wrestling as I used to… or much TV for that matter, but I digress.

Now according to spoilers, Randy’s degredation of Eddie’s good name continues. I’ll probably post follow-up comments tomorrow or something when the show airs later tonight.