(2025 Update: New video upload with new title card and slight edits.)
Space… the final frontier of mediocrity. These are the simulated voyages of the Starship Enterprise. Her continuing mission… to endure tired, repetitive campaigns. To engage in futile struggles with limited lifesigns. To boldly… why bother finishing the rest?
2026 Notes
Originally threw this together as something that was going to be used in a gag video montage that would fuel the endless debate over the behaviors of TV Show Picard and Movie Picard. It was to be a “music video” of sorts using DVDA’s Now You’re A Man track, with Roided Picard showing up during the chorus bits. Alas, Youtube’s Content ID and stickler for music from actual musicians killed the idea dead… so this is what’s left of that particular endeavor. Maybe I might use it again down the road.
Trekweb.com has posted an interesting tidbit on why William Shatner (old Kirk) has yet to see the new Star Trek movie. Here’s the link for people who actually care…
So the guy wanted to be in the movie, they made a cameo role for him, he shot it down because it wasn’t a major part, ended up not being in the movie, and he decides for whatever reason not to see it. And yet he holds out hope that they’ll fit him in the new movie? Really?
So why am I wasting my time with this? Furthermore, why is Shatner giving his reasons for not seeing the new movie anything resembling news? Is it really that slow of a news day?
Look, if the guy doesn’t want to see the movie, fine. I don’t care. Nobody’s forcing him… just do us all a favor and don’t give this guy any more attention than he deserves. I mean, what’s next? “William Shatner’s toenail makes cameo in Star Trek 25?” Please.
So Star Trek has been out for a week. And Angels and Demons came out yesterday. Pretty difficult decision…
Not really. You should go see Star Trek.
No, really. Go see Star Trek.
It’s a fucking good movie.
…
No… that’s a lie.
It’s a fucking excellent movie.
What makes it fucking excellent?
I’m not telling. See for yourself.
My new favorite Trek movie.
Just go see it.
Yeah, I know. Not much of a review, but still…
Now.
That’s an order.
I said I’d have these up by now, but things has caused me to fall behind so… hopefully, I’ll be posting reviews of all ten movies before the big day arrive… so let’s not dwaddle.
Continue reading “DTM BLOG Classics #48 – Star Trek Movie Review(s)”
In the grand tradition of Five Second Movies that don’t actually last five seconds… cooked this one up around April 2009, but never bothered to look at it until now.
Poor Scotty…
In the grand tradition of Five Second Movies that don’t actually last five seconds… cooked this one up around April 2009, but never bothered to look at it until now.
Truth be told, this one’s not entirely accurate. There’s not one single overdramatized beauty shot of the Enterprise to be found here.
Star Trek: The Next Generation debuted in 1987 and became a surprise hit. DC Comics, at the time producing a successful enough Star Trek comic book, would eventually produce a miniseries based on the new show lasting six issues. Naturally, the miniseries is non-canon to the larger Trek canon, so put down your phaser canons because this thing is BONKERS.
The Enterprise crew get into the Christmas spirit or something and they meet Santa Claus. There’s a three-issue arc featuring Q as an absolute madman, which may or may not be far off from the actual character; who the fuck knows. Honestly, I feel like whoever wrote that second season of Picard read this thing and made old Q seem like this Q… almost. Fundamentally, the comic takes a lot of liberties with the source material and I’m not quite how much material they had to work with when they put this series together. But reading this stuff now and knowing how the series (as well as the franchise as a whole) would turn out afterwards, this feels like some whacked-out fanfiction written by someone who has no idea what they’re doing. And I’m not faulting Mike Carlin on this one; it’s entirely possible he had little to work with and thus needed to fill the blanks.
I’ll give him this much; I was thoroughly entertained throughout. This, along with the artwork making all the characters appear buffer and more seemingly well-built with Herculean physiques – they had spandex spacesuits at the time, so I’m sure the art direction was a Rodenberry wet dream. But listen, you can debate the continuity snags (Stardates has you assuming this takes place in the second season, but it’s clearly based on the first since Riker has no beard and Tasha is still alive) and some of the minor nitpicks, but the one thing you can’t accuse this of is boring. For six issues, you’re getting some of the more wacky takes on Star Trek that you’re gonna get, almost right up there with the old Gold Key stuff from back in the days. Don’t come into this with high expectations and you’re going to enjoy this one immensely. Highly recommended for the lulz.
dtm666 