Category: Musings

Next Mutation… Something Best Left Forgotten

Sometime in 1998, Saban had acquired the rights to produce a brand-new Ninja Turtles live-action series. Naturally, being a fan of the TMNT back in the day, this obviously peaked my interest. So when I started watching the show… to say I was disappointed by the end result is an understatement. Some time later (more like recently), I got a chance to revisit the series.

First off, let’s talk about some of the positives. They managed to re-create the Turtles’ lair as it was last seen in the movies fairly well given the limited budget they threw in with this. There tends to be this darker atmosphere overall in terms of the sets and whatnot. And the Turtle suits, while not the greatest piece of puppetry and whatnot, were functional and seemed pretty sturdy for most of the action stuff that would follow in the series.

People tend to complain about getting rid of Shredder quickly and replacing him with these original villains who could have easily been used in a Power Rangers show. But you can only have Shredder get beat so many times before it gets boring and undermines his worth as a villain… and besides, most fans don’t realize or don’t remember or just plain ignore the fact that in the original comic, the Shredder was offed in the very first issue! Never mind the countless resurrections that would follow. So on a personal standpoint, I was sort of glad they got rid of Shredder because then the anticipation would build to the point where they would eventually bring him back in a later episode. I find that Shredder in small quantities work best because then his encounters with the Turtles are all the more memorable.

Unfortunately, they end up replacing him with these original villains who, as stated, seemed more fit for a Power Rangers show than a Ninja Turtles show. And with these new magic-wielding generics comes a new female magic-wielding turtle, the infamous Venus De Milo. I’ll be honest; I never got comfortable with her. I’m not against the idea of a female turtle; I’m just against the idea of one who uses magic and thus sticks out like a sore sight among a clan of ninja turtles who seem somewhat out of their domain. I almost get the impression that this could have easily been the Venus De Milo show dealing with her make-believe enemies and the TMNT are just there to provide the star power (or whatever was left considering the timeframe this was released). Fortunately, they all share the spotlight together.

Next Mutation was canned after a season on the air and the creators were more than happy to ignore it. Given time and maybe another season, I really believe this live iteration of the TMNT could have been something and might have gotten a chance at greatness. But while the idea was sound, the execution was flawed (although there are a couple good episodes in this series). As it stands, Next Mutation is one of those oddities in Turtledom that is best left buried and forgotten.

Handsome Tom (and others) Leave Screwattack

This is a bit of a shocker.

So in any case you haven’t heard, Handsom Tom – the smooth-talking half of the original Screwattack crew that started that whole site up a couple years back, has apparently left the site he helped founded. Leaving with him is Perfect Liz, the Screw-A-Dog, and even New School Mickey… he of the curly hair. This sucks. This sucks so much that it needs a kick in the face…

IN THE FACE.

But seriously, I care not speculate. It’s been a great time for Tom. Hopethey moves on to bigger and better things… whatever that may be.

“Lost” Review – Yobo FC Twin

Since not having the Webstation up has some sticklers up in atoms, here’s a little something to tide you over: a months-old review of Yobo’s dual NES/SNES clone video game console, the FC Twin. Keep in mind that this was written before the release of the Retro Duo, a similar system which reportedly has better game compatibility. Even so, I stand by this review for the most part and find that the Twin is somewhat easier to get your hands on if you don’t trust the Internet for hardware. Chances are you’ll luck out at a flea market, but I found that the local Superclub Videotron on Beaubien street (in Montreal… of course) also sells these. With that said, here’s the review:

A long time ago in a galaxy two feet away, in the days before there was Blu-Ray this and HD that, the purpose of a video game console was to play video games. Nothing more, nothing less. It didn’t play movies or music; it played video games. It didn’t need a fancy set-up like a hi-def television or Internet connection; all you need was a TV, a wall outlet to plug the power in, a working controller, and a game cartridge. This was the gaming life. But then they introduced CDs to the mix and the multimedia revolution began its course; turning what were simple games with deep gameplay and fun into beautiful eye-candy with little to no substance… and no, fifteen-minute long unskippable cutscenes are not my idea of substance. Soon, video game hardware developers attempted to turn simple video game machines into second-rate computer systems that can play CD music, DVD movies, browse the Internet, and even watch porn… wow, it’s just like using a computer, except on a computer, these are standard features that serve somewhat of a purpose while on game consoles, they are tacked on extras so developers could bump up the prices.

Maybe I should just review the damn console before this turns into a rant on the current gaming scene… although that’s not a bad idea.

To relive the old days of gaming, we have game compilations on CD/DVD, X-Box Live Arcade, Wii’s Virtual Console service, and even entire websites offering game downloads for a reasonable fee. However, for those of us who still have those old cartridges, we have to find vintage working consoles to play the classic we already own. Those that work cost an arm and leg and the dirt cheap ones are likely not to work. There is the option of repairing your faulty console, but if you’re like me, chances are you’re not much of an expert in taking things apart and putting them back together in the same shape it was before. Fortunately, we have third-party alternatives as a group of Asian developers have made a bunch of clone consoles. One of them is a 2-in-1 clone console called the FC Twin, developed by Yobo. This console is a follow-up to their NeoFami/FC Game console which was basically a NES clone system.

THE GOOD: Probably the FC Twin’s best feature over other Fami-clones is its ability to play classic NES (8-bit) or Super NES (16-bit) games on the same console. NES emulation is somewhat spotty (more on this later), but SNES gameplay is absolutely flawless, with every pixel, soundbyte, and control movement almost perfectly replicated. The console itself looks to be fairly well-built and the controllers aren’t too bad either. They function a little stiff for my tastes, but nonetheless, they are a pretty good reproduction of the SNES controller, which is quite possibly one of the best controllers I’ve ever laid my hands on. For $70 Canadian, I found it to be a steep but fair price, considering what I was getting; a dual NES/Super NES console that requires one plug and one set of A/V wiring.

THE BAD: It’s been stated that certain games won’t work with the console due to special chips and designs in these games and this is somewhat true. Castlevania III on the NES side of things is a perfect example, as the game would just halt before any gameplay would take place. Also, sound emulation on the NES side of things tends to be off, but this is to expected since this isn’t original NES hardware and thus the little details can’t be perfectly recreated. Later FC Twin models would have improved sound emulation (read: SMB plays sound just as you remember them), but some minor flaws in the emulation do exist. Another discerning criticism (and one that is used often against the FC Twin) is the exclusive use of SNES controller ports. While you can use your SNES gear without fault, this means no slots to use classic NES gear such as the Zapper or Power Glove. Whether this is a big loss is dependent on whether you actually need a dose of Duck Hunt or Gyromite in your life. Finally, as a personal peeve, the included controllers have really short wires, so you’ll probably want to dump those for actual SNES controllers with longer wires (or even no wires) fairly quickly.

OVERALL: The FC Twin is a very nice, affordable, and space-saving alternative to the NES and Super NES in a time when both consoles can be hard to come by in a functional state. While the lack of compatibility for select titles will scare a few folks away, I wouldn’t mind sacrificing a few games for something as sweet as this. It’s certainly easier than to take your old NES apart and replacing the connectors unless you’re a soldering saavy person, in which case you wouldn’t be reading this review and started ordering the required pieces. In any case, if you’re looking to replay some classic games of an era long gone and are hard-pressed to find original hardware that still works – not to mention save a bit of space in the process – the FC Twin is your best bet.

The Language Police Wages War On Irish Relics

An Irish pub was recently given notice by Quebec’s signature language police to take down their Irish decorations of old signs and ads from Ireland, because they’re not in French or face fines. So apparently this province can’t afford to maintain infrastructure and improve services such as education and health plans, but we can afford to bully business owners who don’t speak French. Apparently I missed the news story about Quebec being run by Nazis.

Fortunately, after common sense came along and smacked these idiots upside the head, the language police have decided that the English decor of the Irish pub can stay put. Smart folks.

* Quebec may not be run by Nazis.

How Far Has Trek Gone…?

I’m looking at the front page of the TrekWeb website and what notable news stories am I reading today? Fan production New Voyages changing its name to Phase II, after the aborted Trek series that eventually became The Motion Picture. An interview for one of the writers of Operation: Beta Shield, another fan film. Alumni Trek actors talking about past days.

Has the franchise gotten to a point where it’s considered news when somebody pisses the words Star Trek on a field of snow? Maybe I should try that right now. Get ready for that to make headline news.

Disclaimer: I didn’t actually go out and piss the words Star Trek out in a field of snow. If I’m going to be doing any pissing, it’ll be in a toilet within the comforts of my nice, warm home. Thanks.

Glamazon Barbie and Chain Gang Ken

WWE has apparently signed a deal with Mattel as far as toys are concerned. Meanwhile, Jakks Pacific, the company doing the WWE toys now, has signed a deal with TNA to do their toys. Just what we always needed; Barbie in a Diva Search contest. The sad thing is Barbie could very well be the most talented Diva of the bunch should she enter.

Sadly, both of these deals are expected to take affect in 2010.

(2024 Update: We took this piss out of this deal happening, but the WWE/Mattel relationship continues to be a beneficial one as of this brief update. The TNA/Jakks Pacific deal, on the other hand? Not so much. Oh well. Maybe they can fire that up again now that TNA is no longer a joke… or not. Whatever. I don’t care.)

Quick Thoughts On UFC81

You know the funny thing about hype? Chances are you’ll never live up to it.

I say this about Brock Lesnar: he had put up a good fight for a minute there, even getting a foul for a shot to the back of the head. Unfortunately, all it took was a simple little leglock from Frank Mir to put down the former WWE champion. It was a complete embarrassment of a fight and one of the reasons why I prefer watching “scripted” entertainment as opposed to a real fight.

In any event, I went past the Brock match and tried to watch the rest of the show, on which a friend of mine foolishly blew fifty bucks on and taped the event for me. Other than a few quick moments, I couldn’t really get into the show. It just seems like after watching a bunch of sports-entertainers trying to make scripted entertainment seem real for a whole bunch of years, I’d expect a real fight to even more intense, only to be sorely disappointed as I watch two grown men in their boxers swatting each other like flies with about as much ferocity as a ball of cotton. Maybe I prefer my action to be scripted.

But let’s get back to Brock for a minute. Obviously his first UFC outing didn’t turn out too well, as after a minute of solid punches, he was caught in a leglock and forced to tap out. While I mentioned this already in a previous blog post, Brock is far from the next big choke. It’s his first match and naturally, you can’t win them all. But from the short time he was offensive, he didn’t look like a complete idiot and may do very well in his new UFC career.

So best of luck, Brock.

(2011 Update: May do very well? Brock Lesnar would eventually win the UFC World championship; the only guy to hold the top championship in both WWE and UFC… I severely doubt anybody else is going to repeat that feat.)

Cubed.

So many people can say that they’ve got the hottest new video game console on the market, whether it’d be the Wii, XBox 360, or even the Playstation Grill. Since I’m not one of those folks, I’ll just say I got a Gamecube for thirty bucks, thus granting me possession of three of the four consoles of the previous generation (the last missing system being the Dreamcast, but I’m not going out of my way to find one because I have no bloody room to stock pile these consoles).

Along with the Cube, I also managed to proquire a Game Boy Player, which allows you to play Game Boy games on TV. This came about roughly a week after I had picked up the Super Game Boy peripheral for SNES, which works fine on the spiffy FC Twin console. Oh well. More retro stuff for me, I suppose.