Category: Musings

The Angry Video Game Nerd Takes On Zelda II

For the most part, the complaints are valid and as a whole, the episode was okay. However, the jokes were lame and predictable (Pee Bag, that fucking Glitch Gremlin) and the anger was lacking. Seems like he forgot to be angry.

So yeah, overall, a fine episode. Let’s hope next month’s episode is about a BAD game and not mixed bag games, game glitches, or Action 52… especially since Armake21 did a fine job of covering that game.

More Crap About ECW One Night… Um, I Mean TNA HardCORE Justice

It just occurred to me that TNA has announced only TWO matches for their upcoming ECW Softcore Reunion PPV this Sunday and yet have five matches – close to a FULL PPV CARD – announced for their upcoming three-hour TNA Impact show. From the looks of things, the push has mostly been associated with the big Impact show that’s being aired on FREE TELEVISION while we’re only getting modest advertising for the Pay-Per-View that you are trying to get people to pay for.

This is absolutely ridiculous. They’re trying to pull off another ECW One Night Stand but are promoting and pushing this thing like ECW December to Dismember 2006… and anyone who has seen that show knows how well THAT went. Quite possibly one of the most insipid PPVs I’ve ever witnessed.

You know what? I’m done. TNA can suck my B. L. Z. 5.1.2.2

What the fuck, man? What the fuck?

Hulk Hogan: The Next Billy Mays?

According to this article, Hulk Hogan is going back to be a TV pitchman and is aiming to be the next Billy Mays, who was the TV pitch-king until his untimely death in June 2009. Hogan used to do some commercials for Right Guard and the like many moons ago. And he did do an infomercial for his grill a while back.

You know what? I’m about the furthest thing from being a Hulkamaniac as you can get. I honestly don’t care for Hulk Hogan as far as his wrestling and acting careers go… but he could be a great pitchman actually. The next Billy Mays? I doubt it; Mays had that intense energy and charisma that made his informercials exciting and energetic. I doubt Hogan will be able to achieve that level, but he’s got the charisma to be almost as good and maybe make a name for himself in the field.

It’s worth a shot… if he sticks with it. And if he does, I wish him all the best.

This ECW One Night Stand Is Going To Suck, Isn’t It?

Man… oh man… oh man… oh man… This is going to be painful.

So TNA is going rebrand their upcoming Hard Justice PPV as Hardcore Justice: The Last Stand and will serve as their version of an ECW One Night Stand PPV similar to what was done back in 2005. Apparently, Tommy Dreamer has full control over what happens and there’s presently an effort to recruit former ECW talent (that is not presently employed by WWE or serving 90-day no-compete clauses as a result of being future endeavored) to attend this One Night Stand PPV that is supposed to be the return of “Extreme” Wrestling and a celebration of the ECW legacy… or something.

May I ask why?

Continue reading “This ECW One Night Stand Is Going To Suck, Isn’t It?”

A Message From The Livid Gamer

WARNING: The following is a written mockery based on a previous blog post… which is based on comments by a friend of a popular angry nerd or something. Though there is some mockery, there is some truth in regards to… certain stuff. Without further to do, I give the floor to the LIVID GAMER.

*cue the Livid Gamer theme song, if he had one*

Hey, guys. Livid Gamer here with an important announcement.

People have said that I “nuked the fridge” with the Chu Chu Train episode. And yet, Zero episodes later, I’m still here, you goobers. Some non-episodes will be weaker than others… but that’s what you have to do to ‘ceed; keep on sucking.
As for the random character portrayed by my best buddy being annoying, that’s one character where it really was intended to be annoying but ends up being as stupid and pointless as all the other random non-characters in my program. So if he annoyed you, good. I’m glad he annoyed you. His goal was to annoy you and tune you away from my products. When you’re playing a game, and the game fucks up, that means the game sucks and you should feed it to your game shredder or toss it to your fireplace. Enjoy that fresh chemical odor that will inhabit your humble abode for years to come.
Anyway, if you want to see something REALLY annoying, you can watch me jump around like an asshole as the cowardly lion… or Bugs Bunny… or a Jewish skeleton who celebrates Christmas. I mean, I hear it all the time. You don’t like the live action characters; they all act the same; they’re out of character. We get it.
Guess what?
WE DON’T GIVE A SHITLOAD

OF FUCK WHAT YOU THINK!

There’s going to be more characters. They’re all going to act the same and be totally inaccurate to the original portrayal. When we do more Bugs Bunny games, we will have him act less like the classic character we remember and more like some fuckhead who has played a whole bunch of characters the same way, essentially becoming a non-character. Get over it. If you want pure game reviews, go make your own and see how exciting that gets after about twenty of them, even though pure game reviews have been around FOREVER and provide a formal. I sound like a broken record claiming that the angry reviewer style is a revolutionary new way of reviewing games when it’s just a means to cover up the fact that you suck at reviewing.
And just to cover my ass so that people don’t immediately think we don’t care what the fans think (and honestly, we don’t because the fans will like any shit we throw at them – just look at the Glitchy Bunny episode I tossed to gether on VaporTube.):
Sometimes I find it fun to add in guest characters like Spider-Man (but we call him Spiderman because we hate hyphens,) Ninja Gaiden (who has a real name, but I can’t be bothered to do the research,) and whatnot. We have a lot of fun shooting those episodes because we love taking these classic characters and turn them into pseudo-Nerd clones that act NOTHING like their mainstream interpretation, essentially turning them into non-characters.
Sure, some works better than other, like the time we had our guitar guy play as himself but swearing more often and acting like a Nerd instead of a unique character. But just because some fans don’t like the guest non-characters, doesn’t mean we’re going to stop using them. We’re not going to change our work method of a few complaints and so when you see a new character, he’s going act the same way as before – like the fucking angry reviewer – BECAUSE THAT’S CREATIVITY AT ITS FINEST!!!
So when I said “We don’t care what you think”, that does not mean we don’t care about the fans – you know, the mindless sheep that will like anything we throw at them, even if it’s pure shit. We love the fans. But we don’t care what they think if they don’t like our stuff.
The series is not ending. I may exert some non-effort, but this series isn’t ending any time soon.
That is all. Maybe this will appear in FOX NEWS or something.
I’m so LIVID.

Mike Matei Doesn’t Care What You Think

Interesting post from Mr. Mike Matei on the Irate Gamer Sucks blog under the One Year Anniversary and E3 Part 4 blog post.

(2012 Update: According to an informant of mine, the posts by Mike Matei have long since been taken down. Either by Mike himself or by the blog operator… probably to cover up past mistakes or perhaps because he actually, genuinely regrets… wait, what does it matter? Mike doesn’t care either way. He said so himself.)

So yes, Mike Matei doesn’t give a shit about what you think. “We care about the fans that love all our stuff, but anyone complaining, we don’t care about those because we can’t take criticism.”

P.S. By the way, the new AVGN sucked monkey cheese. I can say that because you don’t care.

Irate Gamer Neo’s WWE Smackdown Vs. Raw 2008 Video Thoughts

UPDATE, September 24, 2011: Added some additional notes and comments regarding certain bits in the videos. I’m very tempted to do a video commentary on this “review” of SvR2008, if only because nobody has touched this one yet… for some odd reason. We’ll see, though.

UPDATE, October 5th, 2012: Through some perverse sense of fate, I somehow got my hands on a copy of SvR2008 for the Wii… I guess I’ll have to update this thing some day…

Today, we’ll be looking at Irate Gamer Neo’s “review” of WWE Smackdown Vs. RAW 2008. This is technically the first episode of Chris Bores’ Irate Gamer Neo (though he has since retroactively referred to his review of the Simpsons game for PS2 as the first episode), a subseries of videos where he “reviews” video games for the modern systems. Unlike the IG series, this is less story-ridden and more on the game itself. Whether that tends to be a good thing or not depends on the viewer, but I personally find the NEO videos to be… let’s just say “tolerable” than his regular offerings on YT. Then again… maybe not. So let’s get on with this… after the break.

Continue reading “Irate Gamer Neo’s WWE Smackdown Vs. Raw 2008 Video Thoughts”