Hulk Hogan: The Next Billy Mays?

According to this article, Hulk Hogan is going back to be a TV pitchman and is aiming to be the next Billy Mays, who was the TV pitch-king until his untimely death in June 2009. Hogan used to do some commercials for Right Guard and the like many moons ago. And he did do an infomercial for his grill a while back.

You know what? I’m about the furthest thing from being a Hulkamaniac as you can get. I honestly don’t care for Hulk Hogan as far as his wrestling and acting careers go… but he could be a great pitchman actually. The next Billy Mays? I doubt it; Mays had that intense energy and charisma that made his informercials exciting and energetic. I doubt Hogan will be able to achieve that level, but he’s got the charisma to be almost as good and maybe make a name for himself in the field.

It’s worth a shot… if he sticks with it. And if he does, I wish him all the best.

Mr. T declares WAR on A-Team remake

So according to this article, Mr. T was offered a cameo in the A-Team remake, but declined due to the fact that the original A-Team’s “light-hearted approach has been replaced by gritty realism” in the new film. Also, he doesn’t care for the fact that in this version, people died and things get sexed up while in the original show, nobody died and sex was down to a minimum – usually an attractive girl or two per show.

Mr. T, you may recall, originally played B.A. Barracus in the original TV show, a role that is filled by UFC fighter Rampage Jackson.

While some might be saddened by the lack of Mr. T in the new movie, give the guy some credit. Unlike Dirk Been-A-Dick, he stuck to his principles and didn’t accept a cameo in a project he didn’t agree with. He didn’t berate the remake either, just said it was vastly different from the show he made famous… although it must be brought up that the show wasn’t necessarily all roses either, but I’ll wait until I check out the movie… when it comes out on DVD.

Roger Ebert HATES 3D… and so should you.

Roger Ebert wrote an article on why he hates 3D and so should you. Click here if you want to read it.

As for me? I always felt that 3D was purely a neat little gimmick to give people incentive to watch movies in theatres rather than wait for the inevitable DVD or Blu-Ray release. And I have to say that Avatar in 3D made for a much better experience than it would have in 2D (because let’s face it – as great as it is visually, Avatar’s story is paper thin).

But do I want 3D as a regular function? Nope.

I like my movies and tv and video games to be 2D… as in on a screen and without the use of glasses. The only 3D I want to see is on a holodeck and that’s it.

Although I have to disagree with Ebert on one thing; Titanic sucks.

Dirk’s Never Happy

First, he’s not happy with new Battlestar because Starbuck is now played by a woman… also something about re-imagined Coke and special sauce or whatever else. Now he says he has no hope for the new A-Team movie.

You want to know the funny thing about it? He made a fucking cameo in that A-Team remake. It’d be one thing if you said the movie had no chance and left it at that… but how much cash did you take to have to make that move?

Damn, I think I know what the problem is.

This isn’t the original Dirk Benedict who stuck to his guns. This is the re-imagined one with double standards.

Har, har.

Nick Hogan Goes To Jail… Good

Hulk Hogan’s son Nick, who was involved in a terrible car accident that crippled Nick’s passenger, was recently sentenced to eight months in jail. Well, looks like there are some things even Hulkamania and its political clout can prevent. Just as well.

How sad is it that such an actual real-life tragedy that involved an individual losing any semblance of their former self could be reduced to a quick quip. This sort of thing is nothing to laugh or joke about… but when it comes to the Hogans, who think that everyone is beneath them, seeing one of them eat a bit of humble pie does nothing but put a smile on my face. Nick did something stupid and now he’s paying for it, rightfully so.

Thoughts and prayers go to the other fellow.

Saw My First Drew Carey-Hosted Price Is Right

So a funny thing happened one day while I was flipping channels; I found myself watching an episode of The Price Is Right. But not with the usual host Bob Barker, who had retired, but with his successor, Drew Carey.

Yes, that Drew Carey. Of The Drew Carey Show fame.

He’s hosting The Price Is Right now.

And you know what I felt when watching this show?

Awkward.

I don’t watch The Price Is Right on a regular basis these days, but I used to remember watching the show as a kid during those weekdays when I was at home during a day off school. There was something about the soft-spoken Barker and his straw-thin microphone that stuck with me. I couldn’t tell you what that was, but it was enough that whenever I think The Price Is Right, I think Bob Barker.

And now I’m watching an episode hosted by the short and stubby funnyman from Cleveland. And it feels odd.

For what it’s worth, he’s not bad in the gig. I’ve seen him host the American version of Whose Line Is It Anyway? and he was always there, so he can do the hosting thing just fine. But it feels odd seeing him host this show, on those sets, with that same straw-thin microphone.

It’s not going to be the same.

On the other hand, Drew Carey hosting The Price Is Right is NOT the strangest thing I’ve seen this man involved in. After all, he was in the Royal Rumble once upon a time.

Yep.

Anchorwoman Axed After One Episode… Sort Of

Now this is a story that is truly worth of a WTF moniker.

In a record-breaking cancellation move, FOX (famous for cancelling shows within a couple episodes) has cancelled the latest comedy-reality series Anchorwoman, featuring a former WWE Diva’s attempts to become a TV news reporter. Some people say the show was so bad it had to be cancelled after the first episode aired. I disagree because when I read the show got cancelled, my first thought was “Wait a minute. The show’s cancelled? I didn’t even know it aired!”

So, this is news that came across some wrestling news site somewhere because coincidentally that’s the only place you could find this sort of hard-hitting information that you apparently never knew you needed… except you really didn’t. This was a show that I’ve heard nothing – and I mean NOTHING about – frequently other sites of non-wrestling media, nor did I ever recall seeing any ads for. Is it the sort of the show that even FOX is embarrassed to allow even a full season run?

The world may never know… save for the few sad folks who somehow caught this on air.

POSTSCRIPT (2023)
Greetings from the future… today! Doing a bit of digging during the process and it turns out that while Anchorwoman was indeed cancelled after its premiere on FOX, it was NOT after one episode. As a matter of fact, the premiere featured the first two episodes aired back-to-back. So in truth, Anchorwoman was axed after two episodes that aired on one night. It was made available for a time on the FOX website – including a number of episodes that never made air – before being taken down and promptly forgotten about.

An Interesting Quote From Bob Hoskins

Found this interview with actor Bob Hoskins (the detective guy from Roger Rabbit) that seems like a decent enough read. Why would I care about this story? Because of this timeless gem:

“The worst thing I ever did? Super Mario Brothers. It was a fuckin’ nightmare. The whole experience was a nightmare. It had a husband-and-wife team directing, whose arrogance had been mistaken for talent. After so many weeks their own agent told them to get off the set! Fuckin’ nightmare. Fuckin’ idiots.”

Amen, brutha. Amen.

24 and Quebec Terrorists

I found an interview online with one of the writers of the hit show 24. Of particular interest is this quote:

“We are absolutely evenly employing all the bad guys of all nations,” Cassar says. “Some told me, because I’m Canadian, they said, ‘Hey, why are you leaving us out? Why can’t we be the bad guys?’ I’m like, ‘Good idea. Quebec separatists could be the terrorists.’

Actually, if they went along with that, 24 would be my new favorite show.

If you want to read the whole thing, click here.

REVISITING… The Super Mario Bros. Super Show

Contrary to what many claim, Mario’s first initial cartoon appearance was NOT the Super Mario Bros. Super Show. Rather, it was in an obscure Donkey Kong cartoon that aired as part of Saturday Supercade during the early-1980s, before Nintendo rose into prominence. You wouldn’t have noticed, because in that cartoon, Mario was a generic guy who pursued the big dumb ape. But that’s irrelevant, because before 85, Mario wasn’t a big deal. After ’85, he practically salvaged the video gaming industry and got a cartoon out of it.

Every Mario cartoon had the same basic plot; evil King Koopa (Bowser, although he never goes by that name in the cartoon) wrecks havoc in various worlds of the Mushroom Kingdom and it’s up to Mario, faithful brother Luigi, loyal Mushroom Retainer Toad, and the Princess (when she isn’t kidnapped) to spoil his nefarious plans. Rinse, lather, and repeat.

Odd thing was that this had more in common with Super Mario Bros. 2 (Mario USA to Japanese folk – the less said, the better) than it did the original game, but I’m not complaining.

The way I see it, the cartoon (and even the Captain Lou Albano live skits) was what truly defined Mario as an Italian plumber from Brooklyn who enjoyed eating pasta rather than this fat plumber who ate mushrooms, something that the games depicted. The cartoon stayed true to the original games, as opposed to the later movie which was a bastardization of what was good and wholesome. The stories are rather cheesy, crude, and cheap parodies of certain series and movies, but who cares? They were fun and back then, that’s all you really needed.

The animation was decent for its time. You have some minor technical errors here and there (sometimes Mario would be speaking with Luigi’s voice, or his hat would be the wrong color), but these things happens in all the old cartoons (see the old Ninja Turtles as a good example – yes, you know who you are!) The voices were pretty good; nothing great, but alright nonetheless. Characterizations were pretty good (even though it’s based off a video game and you actually had no frame of reference as far as characterization goes).

Of course, the cartoon is only part of the show. Bookending the cartoon are live-action skits featuring Captain Lou as Mario and this other guy as Luigi, in their Brooklyn basement, where they have to deal with these guest stars’ problems. I’m not just talking nameless hacks looking for a quick buck, but actual stars whom were popular at the time. Like the cartoons, the skits were cheesy but fun. And it’s always a welcome sight to see Captain Lou make an idiot out of himself by doing the Mario. (Now, if the REAL Mario were to have done that in any of the modern Mario games, it would have actually prompted me to buy a modern Nintendo system.)

Every Friday, they’d throw in a little Zelda cartoon. Back then, when I first saw them, I never touched the original game, but still enjoyed them nonetheless… although these days, hearing Link whine “Excuse Me, Princess” every fifth minute irritates me to no end.

After some time, the Super Mario Bros. Super Show changed its format and became Club Mario. While you had the same IL’ good cartoons, instead of live Mario and Luigi, you had two ‘hip’ guys in a messed-up apartment with lots of stuff that boggles the mind. Every once in a while, they have actual ‘storylines’ such as one guy’s evil twin trying to take over the show. Sometimes, I wish good IL’ Koopa showed up during the Mario Bros’ off-day and took over the show so he could cancel it, because even back then, it was bad.

Even today, it’s still a good wholesome cartoon that’s good for a few laughs and maybe can be genuinely enjoyed. I think you can find them on Yahoo somewhere, who airs the shows online. Check ’em out if you have the chance.