Category: Commentaries

2014 Fun Fact: This would be the last Bite commentary I would write for quite some time until 2006 when I decided to revive the feature for a later iteration of the DTM Webstation. It is entirely possible that the Bite was quietly retired due to more frequent posting on the original DTM Blog.

Anyway, much like before, current-day thoughts and reflections are in brackets and bold.

Oh Good GOD! It has been way too long since I wrote one of these babies. But yes, your eyes are not deceiving you. Your computer isn’t playing tricks. This is NOT a typo. This is FRESH. This is NEW. This is… me, ranting on a single page rather than on the Blog! It’s been some time since I wrote the Bite (and I’m suffering from sinuses already – fucking Quebec environment), but let’s see if we can keep up.

Continue reading “Classic Bite Commentary #49 – September 16th, 2004”

FUN FACT: Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson’s birthday is May 2nd, you stupid son of a bitch!

WARNING: Contains language and some material unsuitable for younger readers. Discretion is advised.

How long has it been since I wrote a commentary or even made an update? A month? Are you serious?

Nothing noteworthy to add in this commentary other than a few notes here and there.

Continue reading “Classic Bite Commentary #48 – May 2nd, 2004”

For today, this is going to be restricted EXCLUSIVELY to wrestling, as we’re counting down the hours to what may be the biggest hyped wrestling show, Wrestlemania 20. So as a bonus, I’ll have match predictions AND for the first time, I’ll pull out some sheets for an old wrestling game, where I had to book the twentieth Wrestlemania.

But first, a couple of notes on WWE’s moves. Because I haven’t done a retrospect at WWE’s moves recently, so let’s get this on:

Continue reading “Classic Bite Commentary #47 – March 14th, 2004”

Another year, another Bite commentary, more headaches for all those involve; me and my two middle fingers that do all the typing in order to resume my projects after a 2-week hiatus that involved playing my new Final Fantasy Origins game and keeping my new Klingon action figure company. Brace yourselves; this will be a long pisser tonight. (2013 Dave Says: No, it won’t.)

Continue reading “Classic Bite Commentary #46 – January 13th, 2004”

First off, a Happy Holidays to all. Enjoy your two-weeks of days offs, losers. I know I will. heh heh heh. The actual commentary today will be short; instead what’s beefing this thing up are all the extra stuff that precede it.

Continue reading “Classic Bite Commentary #45 – December 23th, 2003”

Sorry for not writing soon, folks, but I’ve been a little worn out the past couple of weeks. It happens and I’m not making any excuses. As a result, I hadn’t had time to do most of the stuff I was hoping to get up by now. This seemed to be a recurring trend during this time in my life. As you may have noticed, the majority part of the site is down. Only the fanfiction and this commentary is up. This, of course, usually indicates that the site is undergoing a refit (that or a shutdown, but in this case, it’s a minor refit). This shouldn’t take me long, as I have been working on the majority part of my time.

(2014 Dave Says: Unfortunately, the DTM Webstation website was more often than not in a state of shutdown as I tinkered around with Frontpage and Photoshop, fiddling around with web designs that seemed cool at the time, but would look rather ghastly today.)

So all the announced projects have been sidetracked, due to the dedication of renovating this site (that and my creative juices hasn’t flowed much these days). However, any and all updates planned will be up (slowly) by the end of the year (2003 or 2004? Who knows?).

(Who knows indeed? I had lots of planned projects and only a few of them came to fruition… doesn’t that sound familiar?)

By the way, do you like the Sailor Moon gif at the opening page? It’s a quick fix that took me five minutes to put together… and I mean that quite literally.

(I assume I was talking about a two-frame Laughing Minako GIF that would see the rest of its days on the Webstation update page… don’t remember if I still have THAT laying around somewhere, but it’s due for a comeback of sorts.)

Continue reading “Classic Bite Commentary #44 – November 23rd, 2003”

Did you really believe that the Ultimate Warrior (real name: Warrior) was really returning to “actual” wrestling? HA! From the words of Mr. Warrior himself:

Hello Warriors. Those of you who have continued to follow my career going-ons know Ultimate Warrior has long been waiting for the perfect (and principled) time to unleash a ring return. Amidst the never-ending rumors and mistruths spread by others, the time to return has come and is now and it is with Acclaim! An entertainment promotion with class, pride and integrity. After many years of absence, I am thrilled to be working again with Acclaim’s talented, creative and professional staff on the new, next-level of their Legends of Wrestling: SHOWDOWN video game! Acclaim has assured me that Ultimate Warrior rises and soars and rules, shakes ropes, shatters hopes and awakens the Gods of Parts Unknown in this incredible opportunity to settle ALL SCORES, unfinished business and even new beefs!, in the ULTIMATE place to do battle — THE SHOWDOWN RING! The intensity of Ultimate Warrior lives on.

Fine, so Warrior (aka Ultimate Warrior) is a playable character in the latest Acclaim wrestling offering. Whoopee. What does this have to do with a wrestling return? And why would anyone demand a return of Ultimate Warrior (real name: Warrior)? Always Believe… My Ass.

Other than that, things have been pretty smooth these days. Nothing of note has happened that isn’t commonplace in my wacky world. It’s Halloween, but you knew that already.

(2013 Dave Says: Oh, 2003 Dave. So much of a missed opportunity.)

Continue reading “Classic Bite Commentary #43 – October 31st, 2003”

Good morning, citizens. How are we today? Man, I never thought printing classes would be so exhausting, even when learning something as complex as tracing on Adobe Illustrator. But I digress. This is one of the best things that could ever happen to me. Just several months ago, I was under a cloud of depression I thought would never be lifted and while I’m still a depressed bastard, the oppurtunity to learn printing preses is a thrilling experience, one that I hope to make the most of. Then again, I could always be a film director. Kevin Smith said it best: when in Hollywood, you only fail upwards… ugh, never again will I seek out Silent Bob for quotes.

This could be an alibi for not updating the site or even posting a good commentary in past weeks, but then I’d be fooling myself. I’ve written bits and pieces of this thing many times, but never got the chance to post it, so rather than make it up to date, I figure just post it as is, since nothing is time specific anyway. So here you go. Maybe some time down the road, I’ll sit down and write out a decent commentary that is smooth… the best smoothness I could muster anyway.

Continue reading “Classic Bite Commentary #42 – October 27th, 2003”

Hey yo. I’ve been hit by a common-cold to headache to insomnia combo attack recently that has impaired me somewhat. I’m not at a hundred percent yet, but I am feeling much better and much more hospitable. Which means I can rant again. So here we are.

Continue reading “Classic Bite Commentary #41 – September 12th, 2003”

(2014 Update: The following post originally featured Hulk Hogan inadvertantly gave away spoilers for taped editions of Impact Wrestling. The video in question has since been removed, so in its place, I posted another Bite commentary, along with a couple additional bits that were posted days later, but weren’t long enough to merit their own individual posts. As per the case, any modern reflections is added in bold)

Hello, young whippersnappers. I’m back after a busy couple of weeks. I assure you, however, that the tardiness of this commentary has nothing to do with the virus going around… but it’s the hottest thing since the east coast power blackout!!! Which means it’s not hot at all, but it sounded so good I’ll say it again…

THE HOTTEST MOTHERFUCKING THING SINCE THE EAST COAST POWER BLACKOUT!!!

Continue reading “Classic Bite Commentary #40 – August 23rd 2003 (and bonus material)”