Author: dtm666

I ramble about things.

DTM BLOG Classics #05 – About 1 Night In China… the Chyna/Xpac Sex Tape

In a short week’s time, the long publicized, scrutinized, and ridiculously infamous “sex tape” between former WWF wrestlers Joanie “Chyna” Laurer and Sean “1-2-3 Kid/Syxx/X-Pac” Waltman becomes available for all who want to see these two engage in raunchy… oh God. I can’t go on with this…

There are things I can keep an objective and calm mind about. I’ll rant about it, but I’ll always keep my composure. If I go off like a loon, give me a couple days and I’ll be calm then.

But this just boggles the mind in ways God never intended the mind to be boggled in. I mean COME THE FUCK ON! WHO IN THE FLYING FUCK WOULD WANT TO SEE THIS SHIT?! AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO FINDS THIS TERRIBLY DISTURBING! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?!

So I’m reading the press release and supposedly, the asking price for this stupid thing, which is titled “1 Night In China” (how fucking original), is around $39.99 US. FORTY FUCKING DOLLARS?!! WHO IN THE RIGHT MIND WOULD WANT TO PAY FORTY FUCKING DOLLARS FOR THIS SHIT?!! This is absolute insanity!

This is so bad even Vince McMahon wouldn’t stoop that low to come up with it… though, wait a minute; didn’t WWE have that Girls Gone Wild PPV thing last year? SHIT!

Having said that, expect the Triple H/Nipple H sex tape to be released next year from WWE Home Video… good god. I can’t even make fun of this properly – I’m resorting to crummy Nipple H jokes.

This is sad. Just sad…

I’m going to bed… with fucking nightmares.

COMIC REVIEW – Avengers #503 (Disassembled – Part 4)

This is it. The final chapter of Avengers Disassembled. The end of an era in the storied saga of the Avengers… or at least, the end of this volume. We still have Avengers Finale to close the chapter proper, but this is where we end our Avengers journey and… well… for what it’s worth, the ending hits all the right notes.

The revelation of Wanda as the cause of all this mayhem, the debate on whether she would actually be capable of such a thing, and that one bit of exposition – paired up with a wonderful montage of various past comic book covers and panels depicting Wanda’s darker side over the years – fits in so perfectly that it makes absolute sense. And then when the Avengers confront Wanda and we get another battle… which ends as it does and features a cameo appearance that makes sense within the context of this particular story, but not so much in the wider universe considering the stuff happening in the New X-Men book… but whatever, I don’t care. The story is over. It ended on what I feel is a strong note. There’s a finale that serves more as an epilogue to this current version of the Avengers so that we can make way for the new version of the Avengers, which I’m actually looking forward to.

Congratulations, Bendis. You actually made me care about the Avengers for the first time… ever. Here’s a cookie.

(2025 Update: It  just occurred to me that, in redoing banners for this thing, I misspelled Bendis’ name in all four banners… I’d go back and change it, but I’m far too lazy.)

COMIC REVIEW – Avengers #502 (Disassembled – Part 3)

I’ve been a bit late on these reviews as of late, so before posting my thoughts on the final issue of this arc, we should probably cover Part 3.

In our previous issue, a bunch of reserve Avengers show in time for a massive alien spaceship to start dropping alien troops to fight off every Avengers. The whole issue is nothing but one big action setpiece with some highlights here and there. There’s even room for a couple Spider-Man quips here and there.

But then the big heroic sacrifice happens and while I roll my eyes at the tease of another major character death – these things almost NEVER last long with VERY few exceptions – the way this death is treated is done rather well. We know it’s coming, we know it’s teased, and unlike some of the other deaths featured in this arc so far, this death feels dignified and worthwhile… whether it sticks is another story.

And then there’s the Dr. Strange cameo that teases the potential identity of who is truly behind all this gruesome demise. As soon as as there was mention of the [REDACTED] being abused and the reaction to that statement followed… well, I’d be lying if I said that I was surprised because whoever it is has had turns in the dark side in the past, but it kinda, sorta makes sense and I’m amazed that they’re actually going in this direction.

I was a bit iffy on Disassembled at first, but now, headed towards its final issue, I’m actually looking forward to seeing how it ends.

Should TNA Use The WWE Tape Footage?

On a recent edition of the WWE’s Internet show Byte This, former ECW owner and current WWE scripter Paul Heyman said that TNA would never be true competition to WWE. Is there truth to that statement? Maybe, but TNA is really doing well at bringing paranoia to a federation that has lost all touch with the wrestling audience.

TNA has had a decent week/month to say the very least. Their first real PPV, their Fanfest, their matches on one of Fox Sports’ regular programs, the mysterious tape with WWE wrestlers getting pissed because TNA brought them cookies during a commercial shooting all seem to be giving TNA some much needed attention, which can only be a good thing. Now that they’re getting noticed by a large number of people, it’s their chance to make the most of it.

If you’ve heard, WWE is threatening legal action against TNA if they use the cookie footage. They’re demanding that TNA surrenders the tape and whatnot. What does TNA do? They put up a poll for fans to vote as to whether they tape the footage or not. Here’s the link:

[LINK NO LONGER VALID]

My vote? Show the fucking footage and prepare for the consequences. A lawsuit from WWE might be the right, legal thing to do, but it would only further their reputation as bullies of smaller companies (according to TNA). Not only that, but it will show a sign of weakness from WWE as they will be considered threatened by a company they claim is beneath them.

So, as Chris Jericho stated, make the right decision. Vote for the cookie footage to go on the air.

2011 Update:
TNA did eventually show the footage on one of their PPVs (along with a poor man’s Vince impersonator that made me long for the Billionaire Ted skits… hey, at least those were somewhat entertaining.), but blurred out the majority of WWE talents’ faces in order to avoid legal issues. You can make out who’s there, though, if you’re keen-eyed and can recognize tattoos. The footage can be found on TNA’s 50 Greatest Moments DVD if you’re so inclined… it might also be on YouTube.

And So Dino Thunder Ends…

So another run of Power Rangers comes to a close last weekend. The finale was alright; nothing special, but alright. If nothing else, it brought closure to all the plot threads, gave us a nice raid on Mesogog’s base as well as a couple final battles that pushed the pyro to the limits, and of course, that goddamn semi truck from Ninja Storm makes its return because of course it does.

All in all, DinoThunder was an impressive run that had some really cool filler episodes in addition to some stinkers. The episodes that were supposed to deliver did what they did and more… and the episodes that existed solely for the purposes of fan service certainly covered that ground adequately enough, whether some people agree or not.

Kudos to the cast and crew of DinoThunder for an impressive run and for reinvigorating my interest in the series.

Looking forward to the next incarnation in February, which apparently is getting a new crew and takes place in the near future. Should be interesting.

Later.

The Shadow Of TNA Threatens McWrestling

From InsidePulse.Com:

WWE still has up to 5 members of the roster that they want to cut, but the word is that they are holding off, so they don’t feed the talent to TNA. This week being huge for TNA, with Victory Road and the TNA matches on Best Damn Sports Show Period WWE doesn’t want to give them any more momentum.

With morale being so low, especially in the SmackDown! locker room, it may come to the point where talent starts asking for their release to go to TNA, as it’s starting to be looked at as an alternative.

From what I hear so far, Victory Road was a pretty good show. It’s too damn bad that I chose to skip the first real TNA PPV and set myself up for another disappointment from the WWE. I’ll admit to have enjoyed Taboo Tuesday, but it wasn’t necessarily a good show either.

In any case, the added exposure they’re getting right now is exactly what they need to become a serious alternative to WWE, who is starting to notice this small-time wrestling company and holding off the firing of five other talents from their roster, just to keep them from jumping ship.

Kudos to TNA for their recent exposure and let’s hope I’m around for the Turning Point of their Victory Road.

Later.

FIRST IMPRESSIONS – Kirby: Nightmare In Dream Land (GBA)

For a cool twenty bucks, I picked up a used copy of Kirby: Nightmare In Dream Land, the GBA remake of the only Kirby NES game. I’ve had the NES game and was fairly good at, but nothing more than that. So I knew that Kirby would give me a respectable week until I feel obliged to pick more NES classic ports.

Imagine to my utter surprise when I beat the regular game in the same day I bought it. From beginning to end, discovering all the secrets and stuff. The first thought was that this game was easy, but another thought quickly came to mind: this never happened to me before.

So the next day, I try out the game’s extra mode, which basically cuts your life meter in half. Surely this would give me a challenge, because I took cheap hits constantly. But by the end of the night, I beat the game and discovered all the secrets again. Again, this has never happened to me before.

So now I’m stuck with a game that I have no reason to play with anymore. The Meta-Knightmare feature, which lets you play as a sword-wielding winged Kirby-like character, is a nifty mode, but you can’t save in it. A Boss Endurance mode isn’t necessarily the best thing going for me. And the subgames are fun little diversions at first, but even they got to the point where I can get through rather easily even at the highest skill setting.

But you know what? That’s okay, because Kirby still kicks ass and I can concentrate on playing through random levels and stealing powers like no tomorrow.

My Conversation With… The “Real” Tommy Oliver

(2025 Update: So this piece, which was written in 2004 shortly after Power Rangers Dino Thunder – the umpteenth season of Power Rangers notable for bringing Jason David Frank back into the PR fold – was going to be the annual fictional interview that I’d do with a random fictional character and just have some shits and giggles. This never got posted for some reason until maybe years later, when it was part of a Webstation redesign that lasted all of two weeks before it was back to the drawing board. And so, here it is again… for better or worse.)

Introduction
Originally written sometime in 2004 around the beginning of the Dino Thunder incarnation of Power Rangers, this interview was going to be a return of the fictional interview bit… except that this was never posted. So here’s the first little piece of history.

Continue reading “My Conversation With… The “Real” Tommy Oliver”

WWE Taboo Tuesday 2004 – Live Blog

2018 Introduction
2004 saw me touch on two PPVs; Wrestlemania 20 and Taboo Tuesday. Since I’ve already reposted Mania 20 as part of the Ramblemania feature, I decided to jump ahead with Taboo Tuesday.

Once upon a time, WWE experimented with an interactive PPV format that fans would get to vote on various things. It started off as a Tuesday PPV before it became a Sunday PPV dubbed Cyber Sunday. This kind of PPV hasn’t been attempted again in quite a while, but they tried to do it again on RAW… it didn’t quite workout.

The following was a quick running blog of the PPV in progress. I’m not going to insert any modern thoughts because quite frankly the show is a complete blank and I don’t have a copy on hand to revisit the show. So here it is, as is with non-flattering comments and incoherent ramblings. Enjoy.

One last note: this post was written in 2004 and as such, contains some rather “poor choice of words” if I could find a proper euphemism. I’ve chosen to leave the post as is, so that means those “poor choice of words” stay in unedited. Suffice it to say, reader discretion is strongly advised. Thank you.

Continue reading “WWE Taboo Tuesday 2004 – Live Blog”